Pick your seat, Lemmy
Pick your seat, Lemmy
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A seating chart for an "8 HOUR FLIGHT" with the text "PICK YOUR SEAT" at the top. The chart is composed of 10 numbered seats, each occupied by a different famous Republican politician or public figure, or the devil. Each number represents a seat, and each seat is either adjacent to or between one or two different individuals.
Of course seat 3. That would be the only one capable of a really interesting conversation. Just don't sign anything. 😉
Agreed about 3, but you do have a chronic farter right behind you. seat 9 might get you the "beetlejuice handy" under a blanket
Seat 9 with noise cancelling headphones and beetlejuice in-flight movie might not be so bad... Considering the options...
If you're lucky, the Devil's gonna smell like sulfur and your nose won't be able to pick up on anything else
but you do have a chronic farter right behind you
Plus Diaper Don right in front of you
She is 100% just going to mash it.
😂
And you can repeatedly kick the seat in front of you while doing it, earning points with your row buddy.
I bet biblical Satan would endorse Kamala but vote Trump, tbh.
Look! I just got this fancy new pair of hands, and man can they fiddle! They didn't even cost me anything...
I'd take 8, least objectionable aisle seat, I won't have to get up as much to let them out to pee. Put on the headphones and close my eyes and pray for a mid air collision.
Hey D are you responsible for these other pricks?
D: Sorry
Even the devil would be sheepish about these assholes.
What makes you think Trump won't be fully reclined from the moment he sits down?
Omglol, dude....
I don't care where I sit, I won't be in the seat long. As soon as we're at cruising level I'm charging the cockpit and crashing the fucking plane.
The gentleman seated in aisle 3, left sends a stewardess to inform you that you could actually live thru the whole ordeal if you just promise him this one tiny little thing. But he wants it in writing to be sure.
Worth it.
A true hero
🫡
Try it as soon as you take off, cruising level gives a lot of room to recover if you're overpowered. The few seconds after takeoff leave no room to recover.
Being overpowered is unlikey, all of these people have demonstrated they are cowards.
With my luck, Sully will have come out of retirement just for this flight.
It doesn't matter where we sit... what matters is our plan.
3 for sure. Only good person there. Satan gets a bad rap. All he wanted was for us humans to be free of tyranny and to give us knowledge.
Plus, as others have noted, you get to kick Frumpty Dumpty's seat the whole time.
At least with Satan, we all know what he's about. Can't say I fully know or understand any other person in the lineup.
Does seat 9 include the “full Beetlejuice”?
Yes, but MTG talks politics to you the entire time, forcing you to maintain eye contact while she speaks.
That...uhh... that sounds...
Yes, it is very unpleasant.
Challenge accepted….
What does beetlejuice mean?
The person to the right of seat 9 is Lauren Boebert. She is a US congressperson who made news when she was caught on video misbehaving at a theater performance of “Beetlejuice”. Her misbehavior included shouting, cursing, vaping, having her breasts fondled, and administering a handjob to her date.
Number 2.
Strike up some idle chit chat, how ya doing, nice weather etc…
And then a totally innocent… so whaddya do for work?
Oh man. That’s an angle I never thought of. I always wanted to ask him hard questions and hold him to it. Or tell him what people really think, but to act like you have no clue who he is or what he’s done. How would a narcissist normally react to that?
3 please.
The devil will have some interesting stories about the whole god thing, and I can kick trump’s seat from behind.
You're going to sit behind Trump? Are the oxygen masks functional?
oh, wait. seat 1 is not behind but in front of trump? then I'll pick seat 1, I don't know who the guy next to me is and it seems like I could just ignore him while I play video games.
Yeah I was gonna say, that'll definitely be the most interesting
Pilot seat, so I can crash the plane and do the world a huuuge favor
o7
You'd go down a hero
9
As awful as they are I might as well get a good over the pants handy from bobert, something tells me she has snail in her though and will probably mash it, worth a shot
#9 cuz dick succs ain't cheatin
So many STDs tho
I would be terrified to have my dick anywhere near marge. Boebert however can absolutely suck the chrome off a tow hitch, and I'm not convinced that's not how she got support from cruz to run for office.
Dude I'd love to meet Satan. I'd high five him for having the balls to stand up to the all powerful sky tyrant.
Provably the least evil dude here.
9, I might be able to talk em into letting me cop a feel while getting an angry handy. Or satan, he’s probably got good stories.
Watch for hands from the seat behind you though...
This.
Definitely 3 unless its some right wing youtubers profile photo that i don't know about.
But the devil? Sure!
Otherwise mcconel and hulk hogan. Mcconel will probably have another stroke and just zone out for hours. And hogan will rip his shirt and say something racist and get kicked off the plane.
I could sit with Satan and ask him how he fooled everyone else on the plane in to thinking he was God.
- you can annoy the fuck out of Trump in the seat in front of you
Bring an anchovy pizza and see how many anchovies you can drop down into the back of his suit before he notices?
A bonus.
Id sit next to Alex Jones. Just stare silently ahead, occasionally lick the air, and moisten my eyes with a wetted towelette. At the end of the flight, turn my whole body towards him, and (remember, without having said a word or acknowledged him in any way) say "Itssss been a plesssure getting to hiss know you." And just slither off the plane.
3 and I'm kicking the seat in front quite a lot. I reckon we're going to spend the whole flight giggling.
Gotta be three.
Sit behind him and kick his chair over and over again the entire duration of the flight. Every time he looks back, just shrug helplessly and point at the guy sitting next to you.
Three all the way. Satan and I can take turns kicking T****s seat and talking loudly.
9 because I could probably get a handy before the flight is over. Thinking about it I could do the same at 3 as well
also 10
- I already know every single other person is a shitbag, but Satan's personality is open to interpretation. Shame about the smell of the person in front of me, though.
Honestly the stench of sulfur would be the least offensive smell on that plane
Seat 3 obviously. I love having an empty seat next to me on a flight.
3, and I'm kicking his seat the whole way. Also I can talk plans with Satan. Maybe get a down payment going on my bar in hell. I'm going to name it, The Bar Men Trip Over.
For an alternative I'll take the seat next to J.D. Vance. I'll remind him he's actually just a journalist with a fancy degree every 15 minutes.
Gotta listen to bullshit from behind you
I'll help him invent new conspiracy theories. Could be fun.
I'd be going to the cockpit to crash the plane
Thank you for your sacrifice
3 for sure. Seems like the most reasonably, least evil choice. Plus, as an atheist, I'd like to get his side of the story.
As a bonus you get to kick the seat in front of you the whole flight.
LOL. I'd kick the crap out of that thing!
Satan doesnt believe in Atheists
Oh, he will....
9, and drinks are on me
Something tells me that they get louder when they're drunk.
We'll get drunk enough for an alt right orgy.
Might end up getting a hand-shandy in return.
Absolute win!
Oh Jesus, what's wrong with you. 7 I guess
7 so I can spend the whole flight telling the man how disappointing he turned out to be.
Hogan can tell you how he wrestled over 400 days in a single year.
I feel like sitting next to him would suck because he's such a big guy
Seat #9 - at least I could get a handie from BoBo after a few in-flight vodkas…
#3. Satanic temple is surprisingly wholesome
Is it Satan, though? Looks like a just a common devil. He would probably just try to talk you into some dumb contract and fail in an amusing way. No racism, no shit talking, no being asshole, kind of a polite guy.
OK, maybe slight smell of burned sulfur but that would be it.
I am descended from Gaels, the devil is gonna sign its soul to me. Ya think the devil can rules lawer his way into owning my soul, nope I will rules lawer into owning his sould and make it benefitial to both of us so as to get another pet devil and another and another ad infinitum.
#3 is a trick. That's Rick Scott and the guy to the left of #6 is a decoy.
4
Alex Jones is a piece of shit, but sitting next to him would be like listening to a long episode of Knowledge Fight. Also its an aisle seat.
But I imagine he's probably really sweaty and hogs the arm rest and/or makes it greasy
Yes and you can probably hear him breathing heavily the whole time
3 and I'll be kicking the whole fucking time
Your seat mate is proud of you.
3... Definitely spend the whole time coming up with appropriate eternal torture for the rest
Bonus you also get to kick the back of the seat in front of you for the entire flight.
Or whatever else nefarious comes to mind; just say the devil made me do it..
3, it's not even a fucking question.
Fuck yeah. Satan is the only honest one, who looks out for humanity and cares about knowledge, happiness, and body autonomy. It's like OP doesn't know who Satan really is. Motherfucker is based af
Right in the blast zone though...
Number 9 and try to get a handie while MTG is snorting Creatine in the bathroom.
Edit: formatting
The only person in the comments with some fucking sense
How many would choose seat #3? I would.
3 easy. He's the only one on the flight that tells the truth.
On the wing... The left wing.
Or... 8b
Seat #9, no contest. You're going to get so many inflight hand jobs.
Imagine Boebert and Green taking turns just mashing on that thang.
Mine threatened to become an innie due to this comment.
The literal devil is tempting for sure, but I don't want to be within smell range of Trump. The real answer is the emergency exit row so you can depressurize the cabin
- And I'm watching porn the whole time.
Lindsey and his ladybugs are gonna have some requests, I suspect.
Oh dude that rocks
Easily 3, looks like The Number Devil to me.
10
Lindsey Graham is a piece of shit, but he's an entertaining piece of shit. Not to mention, he's like the yappy little Chihuahua that barks bloody murder at whoever the bigger dog he's hiding behind doesn't like -- I'm pretty sure I could get him on side to shit-talk Thomas to his face for at least the last half of the flight.
The person sitting by number 3 would enjoy that.
Im with you on 10. Hes always just been goofy to me, but then he started making wildly pro ukranian comments. Like march on moscow wild. Hes seems to be the only Republican thats not bought by the Kremlin. I still think hes a joke, but we could get along for a few hours if we kept to the one topic.
Im just worried about the smell wafting back from MGT.
Seat 9. She may be nuts, but she's clearly horny for attention too, so ehh, I'll hit that. The other one will probably grumble and ignore us.
#3 would at the very least have good stories
I was gonna pick 7 but holy shit I can sit next to SATAN? HELL YEAH #3 ALL THE WAY Maybe I can talk him into taking this whole plane straight to hell. I'll end up going with it but my eternal suffering is worth sparing the earth the misery of these absolute scum. I might feel bad about Hulk Hogan though. Yeah he's deranged and chose the wrong side, but I feel more like he's lost and confused rather than as overtly malignant as the rest of these dipshits.
edit: ok yeah if the hulkster burns too that's actually good for the world.
This might change the way you feel: https://www.thesportster.com/how-hulk-hogan-ruined-wrestling-unions-explained/
Can I take the pilot seat and fly us all into the next mountain?
I spent a significant portion of a train trip sick in the bathroom once and I think I'd just repeat that....
EDIT: You think I could manage to get a handy if I pick 9?
Safer to DIY
5, but I'm spending the whole flight suggesting we seduce the seats into a foursome.
Realizing there are no good options (Satan aside, but look who you're sitting behind), I would end up in seat 10.
Vance will be preoccupied with seat 5. I expect Graham will fall asleep.
The back of the plane is usually a bit louder, so I'd just throw on my headphones and maybe occasionally kick the seatback.
Yeah, I was trying to calculate average distances from filled diapers, and 5 might be the farthest. 3 is way too close. 6 and 7 are tossups, but pullups with bootstraps might be a thing.
Things to say: Seat 1: You failed your teachers. Everyone strives to be smarter, yet you keep running from it
Seat 2: You paid 130k to sleep with some once once? Doesn't sound like a great deal to me.
Seat 3: Just end this entire plane and give "god" the credit.
Seat 4: You know you're a piece of shit.
Seat 5: So.... how fuckable are these cushions to you?
Seat 6: You know you both are pieces of shit right!
Seat 7: How were your nights in China/Chyna
Seat 8: I asked if the lady next to the alleged molester is actually Candace Owen's and not someone who looks like her and is being trafficked
Seat 9: pull out bag of popcorn
Seat 10: Why are you the way you are? Just why?
I'm taking 4. Sitting next to Alex Jones and showing him Wendigoon videos to see which ones he takes literally.
That's tough. I think I'll have to pick 4 just to stir tension between Alex Jones and Satan.
My second pick would be 8. I'd just repeatedly kick the back of McConnell's seat while asking gaetz if he sex traffics minors because adult women find him creepy. Oh also I'd eat a bunch of awful fast food, booze, and fiber so I'm farting up a death storm and hopefully gassing large marge. Talking to her is pointless. She can smell my fury instead.
With these options, the only way I could enjoy the flight is by playing the Uno reverse card: I'm going to make each and every one of them regret flying in the same plane as me.
Ehhh. I'll catch the next flight, and hope like hell this one crashes.
I'd go down with the ship for the good of mankind, but I have things I want to do.
9, I'd tell space lasers nutjob to stfu and who wouldn't mind a nice handy, then I'd walk up to seat 2 and Mike Tyson the fool in the window seat.
Seat 8
Eat a kilo of cashews a few hours before boarding, make them really taste the horror, ideal location for diffusion. Maybe add some sorbitol gummy bears and refuse to leave my seat. I reckon I can make at least half vomit.
Seat #7
I could probably find some kind of entertainment-value by talking to Hulk Hogan about "wrestling" or his career. The turtle will probably just sleep, or remain frozen in a transient-stroke-like state. Seems like the easiest.
In reality, it wouldn't really matter which seat I chose. I always go right tf to sleep on planes; because no, I don't want to talk with you, stranger
Though... maybe not next to Vance. I don't want him getting any weird ideas about my seat, if I were to get up to use the bathroom
9, and I'm eating alot of cabbage and garlic first.
Strangely, I have to say 5, because he seems like the only one there (including Satan) who'd stfu and leave me alone.
So how long you been flying? Okay. Good.
(flight attendant approaches with snack cart)
JD: Hi I’m running for vice president.
Flight Attendant: Cookies, chips, or nuts?
JD: Whatever makes sense.
Flight Attendant: (sigh)
Your seat will be sticky though.
3, whole way I'm chanting "gay frogs! gay frogs! gay frogs!"
Silly question, 3
"How is Kurt Cobain doing these days?"
Either 2 or 4. Buy a couple drinks, set my phone to record, and just agree with everything they say... See how far you can get them to go
if I HAVE to, 3. we'd get along, he's not the bad guy. 2 if I were allowed to strike each time he opened his mouth.
2, so I can finish the job the twink was unable to do
Time to invest in a glass knife I can get onto the plane.
Seat 7 and I'll do an impression of him the entire flight.
Better yet. Say you're going to do an impression of him over and over. Then just do Randy Savage. Oooooooooih yeaaaaaaah!
4 Alex would be the most entertaining of the bunch.
I can ask him about this gay frogs and Sandy Hook
See if you could get him worked up enough to be duct taped to his seat
9, might cop a gobby.
This is absolutely a "I'm not stuck here with you, you're stuck here with ME" situation.
I would willingly sit next to Alex Jones. That guy is hilarious.
I legit think he's super entertaining, just as long as you understand that everything he says is a lie.
This was my choice and reasoning as well.
MTG and Boebert would be interesting, see if I can get them to fight over who gives a better hand job.
I'd sit next to Ted Cruz if I wanted to stroke out after having a bad faith argument where he repeatedly uses bad debate tactics as devil's advocate.
Same with Clarence Thomas. Except my goal would be to make him strike out instead.
Alex Jones is a talented entertainer, he’s just not open about his own kayfabe, next to him is my second option after 9
Edit: just noticed Hogan, next to him is second choice now, I’d spend the entire flight talking about how Stone Cold was a bigger draw and ruin his day
Fuck it... I'll walk
10, and I would pay to do it.
Give me some one on one time with Linsey I think I can talk him out of the closet.
9, Bobo seems like she'd be down for some fun along the way
- As an atheist the seat would be empty
Can you do that with the rest of them too?
This is a tough one. Initial thought is I'd sit next to Satan but then I'd have to smell Trumps poopy diaper. Maybe 9, at least there's the chance I'd get a HJ out of it.
7, just to kick Cruz the entire flight. Hate that douche.
My old boss had a friend who was on a flight with Cruz. And he was apparently... Normal. Kept to himself and played candy crush.
If my plane ticket says 9 you know damn well I'm bringing condoms.
8
Chat with Satan, argue with Botox Matt, kick Mitch McConnell's seat all flight.
Yeah, 8 is the correct choice as an adult male. I'd be safe from Gaetz, with access to the aisle.
Jump out of the plane mid-flight
I'll pick another flight.
#3 Because I know what a horny devil Satan is. Mile High club bitches!
But you're in the fart zone.
The whole bus looks like it'd be pretty smelly, to be fair. But sandwiched between Trump and Alex Jones...
As a non-American, I only recognize Donald Trump and Hulk Hogan in this picture. I would pick seat 7. The person in front of me looks innocent, and behind me is a woman, so she probably isn’t too tall and won't kick my chair. She might even allow me to recline my seat. I don't know much about Hulk Hogan, but he seems like a cool dude, and I like his mustache. Tell me, did I choose wisely?
Ted Cruz always looks like a dog that just shit on your carpet.
"The person in front of me looks innocent..."
Most of them do.
In the documentaries there's always a neighbor saying "He was the nicest guy, we never suspected he could do something like this."
I feel like Hogan and Mitch would talk to eachother. As long as I don't engage I'll be fine. Just put in my noise cancelling earbuds, queue up a couple hardcore histories, take 2 benadryl and wake up wherever we're going.
Which way are the seats facing? I figured down (Boebert sees the back of Thomas's head), since it's like you're looking at their faces as you're boarding. Some others figured top==front though (Thomas sees Boebert give you a handy)
Just strap me to the wing.
10 For Sure!
Both of these assholes think they deserve respect.
It would be so much fun to needle them.
9, because then I get to kick a pedophile in the head for 8 hours straight. 100% worth the arm rest neighbors.
I turn around and take the next flight
Fuck it, I'll walk at this point.
I don't know who the guy next to me is but 10. I'll be at the aisle, facing it at a 15° angle, I also pee a lot, and the old dude will probably nap soundly for most of the flight anyway
10, I can watch the show in front while the guy next to me turtle crawls to the grave
And if I get bored as a constituent I have words for Vance and I’m not afraid to speak across an aisle to inform him what I think
- At least Hulk and I could talk about rasslin'. The others are only known for shitty politics.
That's not entirely true, everyone knows boebert is also a whore in the sexual manner too.
Maybe you can ask for a handjob
The actual devil would probably be a pretty interesting flight neighbor. Fun fact, I'd talked to Hulk Hogan in person more than once in random places, he actually talks "like that" all the time. He called me "brother", was weird as fuck.
10 so I don't have to smell Donnie's dirty diaper
It's the best smelling shit you, or anyone, will have ever smelled, I guarantee it. It's the best, ask anyone.
Thanks, I think I'll walk.
9 for the lawls, 5 for a nap.
Maybe 4 so I don't risk JD mistaking me for cushions while I'm passing by for the bathroom.
It's so freaking hard to choose because I want all of those seats.
It's not a matter of not wanting to sit next to them it's that I want to make all of their trips as horrible as possible.
I think if I had to though, I'd take 10 if it was the middle seat. I'd spend the entire trip punching them in the groin.
3 or 4. Guaranteed interesting conversations from both. Granted, I love hearing people talk about unhinged conspiracy theories. The crazier the better.
Can I get the seat on the wing?
I'll walk, thanks.
Wherever the emergency exit door is, so I can
jump out immediately.open it and throw all of them out.This is why I don't fly.
Going 9. Robert and Green bickering would be fun to stoke. Plus I kinda think I could get along with Robert for the duration by annoying Ghram. I will also be leaning all the way back and throwing my trash behind me where it belongs
I like how your phone thinks Bobert is a typo.
5 because JD Vance is DEFINITELY a closeted bottom, and as much as he sucks, he's pretty hot ngl
Nah, he'd just be mad you're sitting on his date.
Oh the devil for sure! He’s the only one there who got a bad rap.
ill take the wing, or risk the cold in the landing gear chamber
I mean I bet the devil would be super interesting. Great conversationalist, too. Almost...seductive.
Next to Hogan I'll at least get to hear his absurd lies and he can tell me stories about wrestling, though the stories won't be accurate.
I'm between Green and Boebert, I might get a handjob but I'll get a brain aneurysm... Tough choices
At least you'll go out feeling good, which is more than most of us can hope for on the capitalist hellscape of a planet.
Pilot seat cause I'm gunna crash the plane
4: I can egg him on all flight and seed some new conspiracies. Maybe even record everything and send it to the lawyer handling the sandyhook case.
What's the in-flight movie?
Beetlejuice 😈
Bee movie at 2x speed on repeat
1
I get to kick trumps seat and put shit in his hair all flight long. I'm not worried about Nick id just kick his ass.
Pretty sure the top is the front.
I'd go with 9 to shred any remaining will to live left in me.
5 is relatively safe, since I'm not a sofa. I can handle awkward silence.
3 could probably be a good time. He's a dick, sure, but he's probably not as annoying as any of the others.
#4. At least you could get Alex talking about lizard people and stuff.
- Thomas wouldn't talk and I'm just waiting for a story about Lindseys mee'mah
Best I can do is Vance's Mamaw
"I'll never forget the time I convinced myself that I was gay. I was eight or nine, maybe younger, and I stumbled upon a broadcast by some fire-and-brimstone preacher. The man spoke about the evils of homosexuals, how they had infiltrated our society, and how they were all destined for hell absent some serious repenting. At the time, the only thing I knew about gay men was that they preferred men to women. This described me perfectly: I disliked girls, and my best friend in the world was my buddy Bill. Oh no, I'm going to hell."
When he brought up the issue with his grandmother — known to Vance as "Mamaw" — she replied bluntly: "Don't be a fucking idiot, how would you know that you're gay?"
When Vance explained his reasoning, she laughed.
"JD, do you want to suck dicks?" she said, according to the book.
The young Vance, apparently "flabbergasted," said: "Of course not!"
"Then you're not gay. And even if you did want to suck dicks, that would be okay," she replied. "God would still love you."
4 because I'd love to see what that dude was like in an untelevised conversation.
5 does not have any open seat. Would likely go with 3 I'll make a deal with Satan to erase all this people in the plane, for my unborn child.
Duuude
At least use your own soul
Even if you're infertile for whatever reason, if Satan accepts that probably means there is a soul reserved for your child that he'll take, use yours.
Fucking kid has got to look out for themselves.
I'd take seat 7, dude. Then distract Terry with questions about pythons, jack.
Just storm the cockpit and crash the plane. Good sacrifice.
If I'm gonna get to tell people about this story, I'm not gonna settle for the 2nd best reason that your flight complaint doesn't register on the scale I've dealt with. I'm going for the best. It can literally only go up from here.
And your in the aisle. He has to ask you to move to do anything!
9 has to be the most cursed seat on the plane. I guess I would take 7
All jokes aside, why do medieval paintings suck so much when it comes to drawing animals?
Ugh, do I go with #2 where I have to worry about diaper failures and my seat being kicked, 8 where I risk witnessing CSAM, or 10 where the guy across the aisle is defiling the plane.
9, right between Hulk Hogan and budget Sarah Palin
At least you might get a handy.
NOBODY said 2?!
Obviously 2!
Someone tries to argue some point about the guy:
Actually, buddy, I met him and over the course of eight hours I learned ___________.
Maybe the learning is that he’ll lie to your face, seem very personable, is a Class A hoodwinker. Maybe it’s that he’s insufferable. Whichever, you get insight on how he treats normies he doesn’t need anything from. So you either understand more about how he deceives or more about how awful he is.
Wouldn’t ever help convince anyone of anything but should give some smug satisfaction how wrong somebody is when they walk away pretending you lost a political argument.
It would be fun to just tell him he's a fucktard. I think that's worth it. Also, make sure to cough and then put your hand on the shared armrest to declare dominance
Pick who you want to be farting next to the entire flight. For me, it’s 4.
3 is probably the most fun, 9 has the best chance of a handjob though...
"So... who sold their soul to set this up?"
If this is all hypothetical, I'll take one for the team and attempt a water landing when the fuel runs out over the Pacific. The hunger games of the survivors would be worth it.
Pilot: Fly the whole fucking plane into a remote mountainside.
Punch airport security and get on a no-fly list.
3
2
Then sell him some talisman that will make him win the election for 1.000.000$
He can't pay tho
4, because I am a glutton for punishment.
i bet 2 would share his drugs so 2
4 maybe as well, but don't let the prudes in 6 see or they'll call the cops, and don't let 9 see or they'll hog all of it.
2, as a Anarcho Syndicalist Jewish Transfem (with Autism) I would annoy him for the entire flight. The way I see it you can either let them punish you or you can become the punishment, I know which one I'm choosin.
not 5, because i don't want to get in between vance and a nice empty seat.
There's only one thing I'd be thinking about on a plane filled with that many fascists and oligarchs and it wouldn't be where I was sitting.
Everyone's talking about getting laid in #9, but imagine getting laid in #6.
This plan is going down for sure.
Where are the parachutes?
#5, and my cat sits in my lap.
3, so I could kick the back of the seat in front of me as I fully recline. At least the devil might be listening to some good music.
- Of all the people there, Hulk Hogan is probably the most interesting and would have good stories to tell.
Edit: didn’t notice the devil. That’s a better choice. I’d still go with 7 though so I don’t have to hear trump’s voice.
I wonder what their going rate is on 9.
Remember kids, suicide is always an option.
3 except they say trump smells really bad so maybe give me a respirator
- I can still talk to satan and its an aisle seat.
I've just remembered I have an urgent funeral to go to and cannot board the flight.
Is taking the Gravity Express an option? Because I would rather kill myself.
Is spending the whole 8 hours in the toilet an option?
I don't have enough fists. :(
#2
Do you know how many mind games you can play with a narcissist who has nothing but piranhas surrounding him?
4,3,2,1 in that order. I'd seat hop; it would be so fun
We flying business or economy? If its a nice seat, 3. If were flying economy then I pick 5, that way im near the restrooms. Its time to get tex-mex at the airport.
Get ready for a lot of "I'm JD Vance, I'm running for Vice President" and questions about how long you've been working at your job.
Yah, he is going to get 2 half-baked thoughts out before I get up because the taco bell dosen't wait for noone.
Definitely not 4.
Forget about Alex. That seat cushion would not stay clean for long.
Each and every person in this flight had sat in seat 3 at some point. This is how they got to be the people they are.
Just a warning.
Sitting in seat 9 and just spending the whole flight pitting those two against each other would be pretty fun. Also probably pretty easy.
8 and a pair of headphones, those 2 would just talk to each other and Satan is probably pretty good looking, if it's first class he probably has leg room and lap space, in the event I wanted to freak out the rest of the plane and hopefully cause at least a few fatal heart attacks
one question...
which of these are within the available options?
- replacing own life vest with parachute
- manipulating all seatbelts to get stuck
- waiting until all have their seatbelts on
- open en emergency exit in mid flight (or is it a boeing anyway?)
- picking all unnumbered seats (as was the question) one by one and remove the screws holding them in place.
- pushing the devil out of limits
- watching all the others to follow their guide.
- after landing guessing the discovery of having a parachute instead of a life vest was the reason for all of them to want to jump and use theirs for fun, but impossible to know why together with their seats, however they act against common sense anyway so no too big surprise there. and no need to be worried either as assuming they have parachutes. also beeing unable to do anything as the seatbelt somehow was locked and prevented leaving the seat until beeing freed by engineers after landing.
asking for a friend (who has some words to say to the one near 3 and to the ones who praise him too)
Two, I would make trump symetrical with my nail + better to meet satan here, than in hell where I'll be when I die as a pro-LGBTQ+ pro choice atheist.
5 or 6, best opportunity for gay stuff and not terrible to look at.