Preferring looks over functionality.
So many things in today's world are dogshit covered in a pretty wrapper and everyone eats it up. Meanwhile things that actually work well and last get ignored because they're not pretty.
I'm not saying things can't be pretty but you should never put form over function.
I STRONGLY believe in the whole, "form follows function", idea. Something that fulfills is intended purpose well, repeatedly, efficency, etc. is beautiful to me
...And yet, people tend to despise brutalist architecture.
Well, the idea of using unfinished concrete (the origin of the movement's name) was something of a modern/internationalist reaction to the earlier excesses of nouveau and deco really. It wasn't that concrete is a superior material for structure, the ancients knew that. A better current example (that argues the opposite to your point unfortunately!) of form following function is cheap [edit: cheap isn't what I meant, more 'the cheapest available using today's sophisticated engineering', which obviously isn't cheap but real estate doesn't have that reputation anyway] curtain walls in high rises. Pretty insipid but people love it; there's no accounting for taste, especially among those who have no appreciation for the finer things.
True, just don't word it like that when you're telling your partner why you love them.
I generally agree with this, but I would like to remind everyone not to take this generalization and run too far in the other direction. A video game that is a perfect simulation of something but has a bad art style will be less enjoyable than a game with a great art style, even if the art detracts from the perfect simulation somewhat.
Thinking that things they don't enjoy should not be enjoyed by anyone else, and complaining bitterly about people enjoying those things.
Yeah similarly, when a pastime or hobby is shared among a large group in society or culturally or whatever, someone who doesn't enjoy or partake in said hobby is seen as weird (or worse).
Case in point: I'm a dude who looks like I should watch sports. I hate sports spectating. Having the "why don't you watch football" conversation comes up annoyingly too often.
Smoking. Let's see, I could pay a ton of money for something that reeks and damages my health and the health of those around me, that once I start I'll become addicted to so I'll struggle to quit even if I want to, or I could, uh, not. Yeah let's go with not.
Devil's advocate. (I do not actually condone cigs, they smell like burnt butt).
As a non (extremely sparse) smoker who's pretty sure he's incapable of actually getting addicted, counterpoint: nicotine tingly tho. 😚
As someone who recently quit tobacco let me tell you: cigarettes are amazing! A cup of coffee, a crossword and a good summer morning on a patio is basically heaven. Smoking is cool and makes you look cool too! Everyone should smoke.
Yeah, I’ll believe the addictive qualities for sure. However “cool” has not been true for years. I’ll never forget in college where some friends would encourage me to join them outside “where the cool people are smoking”, yet it always seemed like 2-3 people outside alone not enjoying a party or whatever. At least I was there because I’m an introvert and the party is exhausting, not fooling myself about thinking it cool.
Also, vaping. Somehow, vaping seems even dumber than smoking.
A type, true believer office people.
It's all laid out, you have at most 100 years and 50ish healthy ones if you're extremely lucky, and you want to spend more energy then you absolutely have to... micromanaging others and bragging about maximizing your office work output as you eek out a living?
I genuinely find the coworkers that try to drown themselves in corpo kool-aid disturbing. Soulless. I find them as sad and pathetic as they probably find me for my half hearted, clearly mocking impression of corpo culture, as I don't show my true self at work.
Like just.. Why? It's a job. The owner truly doesn't care if you live or die. Stop bragging that you canceled on your family yet again in favor of your "work family."🤮 They think they're setting an example for their coworkers to follow, but I'm just sitting there pitying them.
Littering.
SERIOUSLY this one pisses me off like no other. And I can maybe be more sympathetic to tossing biodegradable trash out a car window, like an apple core out into the ditch (which I know can still be a problem shh), but fuuuuck these people tossing the whole fast food sack out the car or whatever. Fuck you, find a trash can! You obviously live in one, you filth, toss it at home! Fuck!
I toss my apple cores and banana peels into the bushes. Never plastic, metal glass etc.
IMO it's better that the apple cores goes directly to compost on some plant than to a landfill.
And I do this at my own home as well, if I finish an apple or banana, I'll chuck it in the garden, maybe kick some sand over it.
(Wo)men screaming when something unexpected scary/frightening happems
It's a warning to others and a simultaneous cry for help, it's hardwired into our primate brains from the days when your packs survival depended on getting away from the tiger/snake/rival pack/fire asap
fun fact: this arvo i walked i to the kitchen where the hubs was focused on cooking up a storm, cat bitch-meowed at me. I bitch meowed back, startled husband shouts JESUS.
You scare a human, they make a noise.
I meant something less logical than getting scared/startled.
Example from some random internet video: A transporter lost traction on a snowy hilly street and sled uncontrolled back the hill. The woman started screaming for her life as if she was on fire. Dunno how that helps. Seems irrational to me.
Afaik the only thing that got damaged on her property was a US-type mailbox. Not the garden, no flower got harmed. Like okay?
Wanting to look rich... Like, who the fuck cares.
A lot of ceremony-like events confuse me.
They seem designed to be as tedious and gruelling as possible. Consider Graduation Ceremonies, or the ceremonial part of Weddings. Just hours in a hard chair, listening to some old motherfucker blabber on and on about random bullshit. (the parties afterwards I understand and respect, even if I'm the opposite of a party person. The only thing I like about parties is the excuse to dress up and eat cake. But hey, people enjoy dancing and drinking and stuff, that makes sense to me.)
Is this some Neurotypical thing I'm too Autistic to understand? Like do people actually enjoy this?
EDIT: Actually, since I brought up drinking when talking about parties.
.... I don't comprehend people that like alcoholic drinks. It's one thing to enjoy the feeling of being buzzed, we all want to turn off our brains sometimes, and of course it is literally addicting.
But I am talking about people who apparently enjoy the taste. Every type of booze I tried tasted like something between "medicine" and "actual poison".
People will spend a fortune in Wines and Beers and they all just taste bad. Then they'll swear up and down "no no dude, this wine is super sweet" and then you try it and it tastes like every other wine, which is to say it tastes like you took grape juice and sucked out all the joy.
Next time you get a choice of alcoholic beverage, try some Malibu (coconut rum) and Cranberry juice.
I'm with you on the ceremony stuff. I'd rather skip it
Yet I find those drinks disgusting. My preferences for alcoholic drinks, just l8e any other place I have a choice, lean heavily on bitter. We all have our own preferences
Ceremonies are lightweight brainwashing, designed to make people act and/or think in certain ways. Always have been. No matter if they are religious or secular.
Consider graduation ceremonies. You are being handed a piece of paper, that basically signify you did what some teachers asked you to do for x years, mostly memorizing useless shit. But they don't want you, and employers to think what that paper really is. They want everyone to think the paper is important. So they have hours long ceremony, where everything is designed to make the fact you are handed the paper feel important.
I don't think anyone really likes ceremonies as such. They like the feeling the ceremony is designed to evoke, or what the ceremony signifies.
My wedding was like 15 minutes long and then we went out for hibachi. It was PERFECT.
they all just taste bad
Is it that hard to believe people like some alcohols just because they like the taste? And that they can stop at just one?
People who stay with abusive partners the first time they are abused
The first time he loses his temper and screams how stupid you are is shocking. And then he apologizes and love-bombs and you write it off as a one-time bad day, confident it won't happen again. The next time when he screams how useless you are, the love bomb and apology are accompanied with a perfectly calm and logical (and apologetic) explanation of how you made him lose his cool and if you just wouldn't X, he wouldn't get so mad..... Eventually when he screams and calls you names, you are the one apologizing and begging forgiveness.....
By the time he actually hits you, you are already convinced that you are the problem and if you just wouldn't make him so mad, he wouldn't lose his cool - and you're so worthless and useless and bad at life that you are lucky he wants you at all and no one else would even give you the time a day......
I understand the way abusers/narcissists convince the victim. Sorry, it sounds like you know first hand and hope you're in a better place
Being autistic, the instant someone is rude or abusive on purpose with the intent to cause harm or stress, I'm out. No apologizing will ever make me forget they purposely wanted to cause me harm. If I would never purposely hurt someone, then I expect the same
It's crazy that people forgive the first time they're abused by someone
I can't understand someone that want to attack another country, go to war, just to take some piece of land. And then want to die for this reason.
People should just learn that you can't get everything they want in life and deal with it in a good way.
The people declaring the war are not the same people fighting the war.
Tell that to the capitalists running the world
just to take some piece of land
That's not really what wars are about though. It's usually some internal power struggle.
It used to be about that.
To add to this, I can't understand how a bunch of people can so-easily be whipped up into a frenzy to "go kill those people because glory or something" and don't feel how they're being manipulated.
Like when some autocrat wants to play chess with peoples' lives, it's really surprising how there's not really many (if any?) documented cases of people just being like "Huh, sounds like a problem for Lil' Bitchard the Twelth to solve like a big boy doesn't it? I'm not dying over your silly disputes."
I guess that's why it's usually a first step to reinforce oath-taking and thoughtless nationalism into culture as quickly as they can...
When you discover a bump somewhere on your skin and the very first reaction is to scratch and dig whatever may be there, out.
When I was a child if my mom saw a pimple on me she would dig it out. I now have to fight the compulsion to dig and pick at any lump I come across. I find a small circle bandaid covering the area helps me leave it alone until it goes away on its own.
There's some messed up dopamine response going on there, both for self-picking and especially for others' picking! I've often thought about how some people have that compulsion to pop, others want to pop out of a sense of sick satisfaction, compulsion by extension to another person, or out of a misguided sense you're doing something good. Pops not good
Dancing.
I'm biased because I'm rythmically deficient, but it makes no sense to me. It's just weird wiggling.
Worse still is clubbing, which is just dancing in a hot, sweaty dark room where the drinks are $13 each amd you don't get to pick the music, or turn the volume down.
This might be the most boomer thing I've ever written.
Dancing is a product of human brain rewarding pattern recognition, if it helps you make sense of it. Kinda like music and poetry - "hey I recognize repeating sounds and language structures", dancing is "hey, I move together with repeating sounds". There are also aspects like trying to make movements aesthetically pleasing, physically challenging, moving together in sync with other people and so on. Clubbing is a related activity, but more of a social one. Some people enjoy being together with other people and being able to let loose. They speak with their bodies as they move in rhythm with the music. Not my thing either, but it is possible to understand those who enjoy this activity.
Go put on a banger and weirdly wiggle to it.
There's no way to describe the emotion it gives you. You just have to find a banger, and wiggle weirdly while it plays.
People out here stating obvious human problems and I'm out here like: why do humans like Chocolate?
This product costs $14 to make, they sell it for $30.
They remove three screws and replace the beautiful $6 screen with a bottom of the barrel $3 screen saving $3.06. People would easily pay $5 more for the nicer screen, but they can only focus on cost cutting instead of making a still modestly priced great product.
how much should they sell then?
Instead of enshittifying every product into the minimum viable disposable product? Hell, put in the $3.06 and charge us $6-$9 more.
How some people have to constantly get into someone else's business that doesn't have any negative affect on their lives or society and try to force the latter to conform to the former's worldview. Religion is notorious for this, demanding others conform to the ideology's rules even if they have no desire to participate or believe, but it can also be as simple as being critical of someone's differences and trying to make them change.
People being mean or cruel to other people or living things just to see them suffer. I don't understand it.
Using LinkedIn
Abuse.
Not technically a behavior, but - having hurt feelings over other people expressing their negative opinion about myself.
Like, say someone tells me I look bad of that I acted badly or whatever. I see three options:
- They're right, so it's a good thing they told me.
- They're mistaken, so it doesn't really matter (though the fact some people might think that way is still valid information)
- They're being mean, in which case I don't really care about what they say.
I guess it's some defense mechanism? I can see how that would work with people prone to narcissism, but having ones feeling hurt over things like that seems normalized in (most?) societies.
Oh, also religion. People believe in an all powerful being that personally cares about every person in the world, but is unwilling to reveal itself? Despite having zero corroborating evidence? And he's responsible for every good thing that happens to me therefore I should see that as proof it exists and believe more, but if something bad happens that's because I didn't believe hard enough and should therefore believe more? And you're sure about that and don't see how that might be purely because this answers a psychological and social need? I understand I'm exaggerating a bit, and no offense to religious people, but... I don't get it.
Points 2 and 3 are all well and good right up until that person is in a position of power over you.
I see where you're coming from and understand why some don't get it, but it's the third one. People are very mean, including me, and especially when they are anonymous or feel they'll get away with it.
The first two - they're giving constructive criticism, or they're plain wrong - assume the person is not coming from a mean place. I wonder if you're neurodiverse or a very experienced meditator or something if you can really always shrug off a nasty remark intended to hurt.
I'm neurodiverse and took a lot of throwaway hurtful comments to heart as a kid, not because I couldn't tell they were trying to he hurtful, but because I believed there had to be some truth or insight into what they said. When I developed more self-respect I got fewer such remarks when I appeared visibly furious, or gave the same back in return. But I still take hurtful remarks - intentional or not - to heart by nature.
Point being, not everyone has as thick as skin as you, and hurtful remarks do indeed hurt many/most people no matter how much we talk about the relative damaged done by sticks and stones vs names. Hurtful intentions can convey hurt to most generally empathetic people I think. Appreciate any other views as I'm just trying to address this one as I see it. Peace
It's not just the third one. A non-marginal minority of people will be hurt by valid criticism even if it meant to to help them (I'm saying this as a third party observer. This isn't me telling someone "Hey, you're an idiot. Whoa, why are you acting offended? I'm just trying to help you be less of an idiot! Wow, some people can't take constructive criticism").
I know I'm at the low end of caring what people think about me, and that other people will get offended by some things. That's fine, not saying they're wrong to feel one way or another. I just can't empathize or model the mechanism that makes them feel that way.
A very light one, but "Gotta have it all" attitudes in video games.
I too, remember the Gamecube days when the console didn't connect to the internet, and if there was anything to unlock in the game, it came from hitting buttons really well. We're now in the days where the glittery, shiny purple armor (with the same armor stat) sometimes costs money. And yeah, quite often it's more money than I'd say it's worth.
I guess I just don't get the people who still get a bunch of "cool" things in the game, but still feel angsty and frustrated because they don't have everything - because they haven't completely cleared their minimap of every objective, gotten a platinum achievement, or grabbed that one pointless thingy that only shows up through RNG.
I tend to experience a "majority" of games that I enjoy, and that already is enough to absorb a lot of my time. For games that have DLC content, I might buy one or two skins I like, and still spend less in total, inflation-adjusted, than I would on one disc back on my gamecube.
I finished a playthrough of Tomb Raider and got all secrets, pickups, and kills when I was 13, just FYI.
(Thank you, game magazine walkthrough)
In games like Warframe, it's cause I can feel like I'm achieving something with my life, even though I'm a pathetic failure of a human being
Why people use comic sans
(Don't come at me, dyslexic people)
Really, don't come at him - Dyslexie Exists
And OpenDyslexic. And probably a few others.
My girlfriend has a degree in design and the easiest way for me to piss her off is to remind her that comic sans is a thing that exists
Insisting to spend your attention on exactly 1 (one) significant other.
I can't imagine being monogamous.
Having done both, it's simple: you can't have a deep relationship without time. Not just quality time, but quantity time as well. The more relationships you try to juggle, the less you can spend with any single person, and that limits the amount if emotional intimacy that you can achieve.
Yes, yes, love is infinite. The time that you have to be alive, however, is not.
That is even if you intentionally ignore any issues of jealousy.
Awesome answer
Hahahaha I'm the other way around, I can't imagine having enough energy and attention for more than one person
Idk, I've been with the same monogamous partner for the past 10 years. I'm chillin. No complaints. When I imagine dealing with multiple romantic partners on top of all the other shit I deal with, it makes me want to blow my head off. One is enough.
Excellent answer you shouldn’t be downvoted for. I fully disagree because I’m terminally monogamous, but I have poly friends who are very happy to be poly!
Over compensating when an injustice is learned. We don't change anything meaningful, it seems, and when this happens, we create a whole new problem
Judging people for how those people spend their money.
Hear me out, poverty and wealth inequality is a systemic societal issue, and just like one person recycling plastic bottles isn’t going to solve pollution or global warming, just like that one person doing charity or whatever isn’t going to solve systemic wealth inequality.
Tax wealthier people at higher rates, but don’t judge someone for getting a gold toilet after they’ve paid their fair share to society.
Life is all bullshit and made up anyway, and if someone’s self actualization involves getting a gold toilet, then who am I to say no? Not everyone wants a gold toilet, and no one should try to get one by ruining someone else’s life. If your money is ethically sourced, and you’ve paid your taxes, get two gold toilets, who cares.
I don't care what rich people do with their money, but when someone who is living month to month continues to buy luxury items way out of their means, that really confuse me.
Why? It’s their life, unless they’re asking you for money or favors, it shouldn’t even be a concern. Maybe they’re nihilist or suicidal, what does any of it matter?
don’t judge someone for getting a gold toilet after they’ve paid their fair share to society.
Fair share is a very loosely defined term.
The legal definition? Influenced by lobbying (ie bribing) the right people , in service for the 1% .
How do people willingly confront their most traumatic experience again and again?
Rimworld is just a really good game.
people that have more money than they could ever spend trying to accumulate more money
I think there's a number of different aspects to this that could put it in context.
Yes there are a few obscenely wealthy people, like a dozen in the world, for whom it's just a game and pretty meaningless. For the remaining merely wealthy people:
Your means increase as you move through life and your responsibilities, commitments, and tastes also increase. I might earn 6 times what I did when I was 20, but now I'm supporting a family et cetera. This same dynamic effects wealthy people in a similar but different way. People tend to live beyond their means. Someone making several million a year might end up with a few holiday homes, a mistress or something, a bunch of truly expensive hobbies (like... a horse stud farm or something). They might realise they're "wealthy" but unless they earn a bunch more money they won't be able to race their horse in qatar or whatever thing they desperately need to do to validate themselves.
Another aspect I've heard of, is that wealthy people are often anxious of losing everything. If you have a business that earns millions, it's sensible to worry that the market might change and suddenly it's worthless. This is the reality for the majority of businesses that are not publicly traded. As in, great grandpa formed a company that made squillions of dollars selling woollen socks during the first and second world war, but by the 80s it was really just ticking over paying wages and by the 90s it was insolvent. It's natural to want to consolidate your position by buying some other company that makes hats or whatever.
The vast majority of people only accumulate enough wealth for their own lives. Once you've reached that point where you really couldn't reasonably spend the wealth you've accumulated, then you've probably already switched over to accumulating wealth for your progeny. Lasting generational wealth is more or less impossible unless you own a country or something because your progeny increases exponentially, and their lavish tastes increase, and their ability to make sensible financial choices decreases.
Finally, you don't end up with more money than you could ever spend by being satisfied with however much money.
I think it's easily understandable honestly. They got to this point a certain way and it's become habit and a source of their power which they strive to increase. At a certain level of wealth it also just increases by itself.
When I go to poor countries I tip/donate well beyond what I'm told is normal, because $10 or $20 is nothing to me, but potentially more money than they'll earn in days/weeks. It always makes them so happy.
What happiness I would make with a billion...
When I went to Puerto Rico (same country, poorer area) my wife and I went on a guided paddle boarding ride that included him teaching us how to paddle board, then paper boarding, we met a couple wild manatees who came right up to us, then we went snorkeling. I believe he did groups of up to 6, but there were 2 no shows and 2 empty spots so it was just my wife and I for a 2 - 3 hour trip and was an absolute blast. I don't remember how much it cost, probably $60 - $100 each range. At the end we tipped him like $40 and it looked like he was going to cry. I honestly thought tipping that much on a guided tour like that was upper end of normal, but his reaction made me think he doesn't usually get tips like that.
It's not about the money; it's about the power.
We stay hungry, we devour.
It's an addiction for some. For others, it's like a security blanket. For others, it's a source of power.
Mr Crabs: I like money 💰
Real life incremental game!
There's a lot of human behavior I don't understand. Used to make me feel like an alien as a kid.
Like the super unhealthy parasocial relationships people think they have with famous people, and more appalling is the way the media feeds right into it. People acting like it's normal to obsess over details about celebrities personal lives is very weird to me.
I don't understand cheating... just break up and then you can fuck who you want. Why does deceiving someone and breaking their trust have to be a part of it? Why is that necessary?
I don't understand how you can be the richest elongated muskrat in the world, so rich you just doubled your wealth, and not do anything to help people who need it. I don't know how he can live with himself. And what I really don't get is that he clearly wants the world to see him as some sort of important amazing brilliant person. So why not do the thing. DO THE THING AND HELP YOU SELFISH FUCK
Don't even get me started with bigotry. It just does not make sense. Why does someone's skin pigment effect people so drastically? Why does the gender or sexual orientation of strangers matter? People need to focus on themselves and mind their business. If someone would like to make minding your business the new fad of 2025 I'm here for it.
I haven't ever cheated but I'm an armchair human development nerd and I'd assume that there are some things at play like:
- Social narratives that make it seem like there's only one true love out there for you (assuming the cheating here is only physical and not love).
- There can be shame in divorce or breaking up.
- There's the sunk cost fallacy of staying with someone because you've put so many years into the relationship.
- If there are kids, people can believe (whether it's true or not) that it's harmful to the kids to separate
- People compartmentalize and can develop really weird cognitive dissonance where they build two realities and can operate as if the two have nothing to do with each other. It's hard to explain.
- All the other collateral with separating, like potentially moving, new financials and potential child support/alimony, custody challenges, health insurance through marriage, job shifts, etc. etc.
Before you angrily hit reply, dear reader, I'm not defending or condoning cheating. I'm just trying to answer the sociological question of why it's a behavior that happens enough that we're talking about it in this thread.
I don't understand cheating either, but I come at it from the perspective of a queer polyamorous person. I think many people are capable of loving more than one person, but society tells us monogamy is the only ethical/viable way. My partners are totally fine with me sleeping with other people, and that's because we have clear and open communication and trust. Why cheat when you can be poly or open?
I don't understand why relationships are portrayed as such a burden in media. Why do people who don't trust one another even get into relationships? Why do so many couples seem to hate eachother? Why do so many romance books have such a creepy power imbalance, do people want that? It's all so confusing, and I'm glad I'm not apart of it.
There are so many heinous people do because of their primal sexual drives that everything just seems so bizarre to me. I have never had the ability to experience such desires that are supposed to be instincts that everyone does. So it's really odd as an outsider to see what sex does to people.
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Causes them to cheat on others. Why? Why harm people instead of breaking up like you said.
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Causes them to r**e others. Why? Why can't you just masturbate? Why do you have to harm others to get this?
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Causes them to murder others out of jealousy. Why?
As an alien, I only see the downsides to sex. It's honestly saddening how common these are.
2 and 3 are violent crimes, and horrid. 1 tho? Really? How about if it's (hypothetically) cheating on 1 person, whom has cheated multiple times, and lied reptitively about it, to keep doing so? And what if, again very hypotheically, the person who retaliated by cheating did so with say... more than one person, at the same time?
Edgecases are are to be considered with these things, even when definitely not real life, personal experience. 😶
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I don't know how he can live with himself.
There's a thing our brains do when we have power like wealth, status, fame, etc. - the parts responsible for empathy are suppressed. The rich and powerful are neurologically less capable of considering the suffering of others.
Oh I'm aware, I meant the 'I don't know how' more like the very idea of being ok with that is incomprehensible to me
I think we truly are "alien" souls, being brought into this world for the first time. I can empathize with the people who allow themselves to be wrapped up in our modern society but I always wonder, when will we realize that our way of life is absolutely miserable and we need to change our society ASAP if we want to survive through the next 50-100 years.
Devil's advocate/explainer here:
Parasocial relationships are real, just one-direcrional, and can lead to really unhealthy tendencies, but don't have to.
Cheating isn't cute, but can be hot. Hear me out. If cumming became entirely illegal, disallowed, and frowned upon, you can bet your bottom dollar at least ~40% of people would do it more often, just because taboo is the (often fun) flipside of social norms. And social norms suck ass, in a not fun way.
And mega-wealth isn't a money thing. The pieces of shit get off on power over other people, and use it to generate, or further misery. There isn't much they seem to care about outside of that.
I'm not about to make a case for bigots though... Fuck that shit lmao.
Littering is one of those things I struggle the most to understand.
I can somewhat grasp it in extreme cases, like when you’re dealing with something really dirty and there’s nowhere to put it. But I’m talking about casual littering - things like throwing candy wrappers on the ground when you could just as easily put them in your pocket.
I don’t think anyone sees themselves as a bad person. Even when we engage in bad behavior, we usually have some story we tell ourselves to justify it. But I can’t put myself in the mindset of someone who casually throws trash on the ground for someone else to clean up. It’s kind of like walking around and cussing at random people - it just doesn’t make any sense. You have to know that you're the problem.
I've put wrappers in my pocket on numerous occasions and lost them over the course of the next hour (usually depends on which clothes/pockets) so that might be part of what causes there to be so much litter but I have never intentionally thrown anything into nature besides a banana peel when I was a child. Throwing the banana peel into nature felt wrong but probably still is better than having walked a couple of hours with it to reach a mixed bin where it would rot and then maybe be burned.
Cigarettes are one that particularly bother me, because they're so gross even compared to most other litter, but throwing them wherever is so normalised among smokers.
Be of good cheer! We Americans have come a long way since I was a kid in the 70s. If I sent younger folks back, they would shit kittens. This is the UK, but it feels the same. Shit was mounded on the highways. People would casually chunk fast food bags. Can't remember that last time I saw that. Cigarette butts used to fly like tracers at night. Again, haven't seen that in ages.
More good news! Sorta. I haul loads of trash out of the woods and waterways around here. To the point where my wife and kids are like, "Daddy! Don't mess with that!" I'm borderline obnoxious about it, done stupid shit to get a plastic bottle or fishing bobber.
Experience from these adventures tells me that most wasn't deliberately tossed. Don't know how to qualify that, I just have a sense for how long it's been in the sun, how far it's buried, the type of trash, whatever. It blew off a boat or pickup bed, overflowing trash can flowed downhill with the rains (loads of that), got loose from the trash man and never picked up, drunk and "oops", stuff like that. Kids ditching beer cans so to not get busted is crystal clear! :)
I've cleaned out the woods around here, miles and miles of trails, and there's hardly anything new to find. Always a little surprised when I see new litter. Know what I do find half the time? My own trash. "Hey! That's my coozie!" or "How did I drop that?!" or "Shit. Missed my beer can on the return trip."
Pick up more than you lay down, we'll all make it.
We're all guilty of littering. Even the most careful of us will drop something without noticing- And I know I'm not the most careful. So I try and make up for what I've dropped by picking up bits of litter here and there.
Especially out in nature. When I see a bottle top or something, I tend to think to myself that the person who left that there is a bit of a dick. Now I have a choice - pick it up, or leave it there.
If I leave it there, then suddenly I am the dick I was complaining about.
I saw some dude in a small convertible chuck a whole-ass fast food bag out of his car at a stop light. I sped in front of him and called him a cunt. He was VERY angry. His lil rage-out for some great dashcam footage.
I've argued with litterers before and it goes along the lines of "it's already messy, everyone's doing it". Same sort of excuses you get from cheaters and such. I don't mean to go all edgy Joker but there's probably things you and I do that are a problem but we don't see it because everyone else does it too. Eating meat and emitting tons of co2 for example.
“Then don’t add to the mess” is my usual response,
I’ve had smoking friends who refuse to stand further from a doorway and blowing it in peoples faces with the “air is already polluted with cars” argument
Me:”then don’t add more!”
It’s a weak argument. One with the easiest hole to poke. Also great answer if you’re trying to filter out the idiots from your friends group.
I feel this a lot. Many criminals who have done wretched things at least have a comprehensible motivation, but littering? Cigarette butts in a nature reserve? It's nihilism, solipsism. That honestly scares me more. I can grasp that some people's care is misguided or distorted, but a lack of care at all? How do you even contend with that?
When walking to a train station, I find fast food meal bags and empty plastic bottles in the sidewalk every day. If it's not too gross I take it with me the 30 meters to next public bin.
I really don't get it. Wherever your going, there will most likely be a trash bin. It's not gonna impact your fuel costs. What are they thinking?
I don't think that dropping rubbish is necessarily that bad. The problem comes when it persists in the environment for hundreds of years because it's not biodegradable.
Celebrity gossip. I'm just not interested in who married who, who's wearing what, who's doing who.
And reality TV, but if ratings are any indication, I'm the weird one on that.
Can I add fashion to this?
100% willing to admit I'm the weird one here, or maybe I'm just old enough now, but holy cow some trends are just daft and make people look like absolute idiots.
I live in a regional / remote area where fashion tends to take several years to arrive... presently all the studly men are wearing their socks pulled up? It's just silly.
... and don't get me started on sunglasses and frames. IDK how to describe the current trend... it's like a huge single piece of plastic instead of 2 discrete lenses.
Going to church by choice. That shit is boring.
Though I don’t go now non-Protestant or high church is significantly more personally and religiously entertaining. Garage band Protestantism is the bane of my existence
I've never understood why everyone has their phone out recording at large public events. Surely someone is going to post a video of the event and you don't need to be recording it
The worst is when it's a highly televised event (e.g. fireworks), so it's already being recorded in 4k by pros, drones, etc.
Nobody will ever watch your crappy phone recording, including you.
Because I'm not paying $15 for access to the "professional cinematic experience" (aka access to their DRM-infested meh edited cut), or recording it on TV laced with ads and annoying people who love to hear their own opinions every 60 seconds. It's the same reason people sneak food into movie theaters or steal music. Fucking the man.
People want to share their own perspective. And everyone thinks that maybe their video will end up being the one everyone else watches.
I prefer to live special moments with my own eyes instead of staring at a phone screen the entire time.
I realized this a while ago. I was always watching the event through a camera lens, and like you said, it was rarely worth the effort.
Now I'm more likely to forget to take any photos.
I recently went to a live event at night and I noticed how many people didn’t take the time to wipe their lens to avoid giant streaks in the image.
I have a theory that social media makes it hard to put time into just about anything that you might consider art. You get a constant feed of the best quality art that the internet has to offer, so when you do take the extra minute or two to figure out your settings, wipe their lens, and actually try and take a good picture, the chance of taking a good picture is still pretty low because phones still just aren’t that good at taking pictures.
I brought my DSLR to the event and even with the much larger lens, getting enough light was pretty tough. The few pictures I did take on my phone just didn’t really have a good sense of scale due to the lens’s fixed focal length. Don’t even get me started on aspect ratio.
If you spend those few extra minutes and it still doesn’t look like what your friends are posting to their social media because they’re loading it with filters, why not join the crowd and do exactly that. Put in zero effort and let the filter fill in the gap of making it look interesting, even if it doesn’t look good.
What you did do is show all your friends that you did something interesting, which a few hundred to ten thousand or so people might see that for a couple of second before scrolling into the next 400 things they’ll see that day in their feed.
Feeling some kind of national pride. You didn’t choose to be born where you were born. Borders change and move, etc. The place my grandparents were born in has changed countries at least 3 times since then.
We should take pride in our country in terms of making it a better place, and by that I mean making it better for everyone. Not turning it into a right wing hellscape which is what is happening to most countries.
Tribalism in general
Being proud of anything you didn't do or choose is odd to me. Like, there are plenty of things I'm happy about being, but not proud of them, including where I was born, appearance, (except for the parts of it you DO, like fitness or makeup, I can see those are accomplishments), ancestry, heritage. I don't get national pride unless you are someone making the nation better and are proud of those improvements.
Not putting your fucking shopping cart away. There’s no better way for me to explain it than the shopping cart theory:
Except at Aldi's.
If you put your shopping cart away at Aldi's, you probably hate the poor.
This is so true. The most basic every day test to judge your character
I have my own variant on this which I call the Neapolitan Ice Cream test
Neapolitan Ice Cream has three flavours.
Logically, everyone has a favourite and an un-favourite of the three.
No one will judge you if you dig out just the flavour you like... But the right thing to do. The one that is fair to everyone else who is eating the ice cream, is to scoop a straight line that gets a bit of each. Similarly, it's not some great sacrifice to eat flavours you like a bit less. It's just less nice.
This tests how fair people are when the stakes are low as shit. Which to me is the true proof of having principles. That you uphold them -- Despite there being zero consequence to not doing so, and even a small punishment.
But if everyone has different favorites why should I take some of a flavor that I like less and is someone else's favorite?
I prefer Strawberry, my wife prefers Chocolate, and we both enjoy vanilla with Syrups. There is no reason for me to deprive my wife of some of the chocolate when I don't enjoy it as much.
You haven't considered all the possible intended outcomes the participants envisage in the consumption of the icecream.
It may generally be agreed that strawberry is best, therefore, everyone takes strawberry as their first choice until it runs out, and then maybe vanilla is eaten, the final flavour, chocolate, is finally consumed because there is no other choice and by the time you reach the chocolate all the participants, while agreeing chocolate is the worst, also now have a mild sugar addiction that requires satiation.
In this case the work of consuming the worst flavour is postponed in favour of all participant's greater enjoyment of earlier scoops, rather than endured as a necessary part of every scoop.
Also scooping across the flavours spreads the chocolate across everything.
Also chocolate doesn't belong in icecream, it belongs in bars.
.....
Why yes, chocolate is my least fav! How did you guess?
Stealing...Saving thisA bit similar to this: leaving a table or waiting place and pushing your chair in.
Going to concerts. It's too loud and it's crowded, I just don't see the appeal.
And while we're at it, dancing. It's unnatural, I tell you!
There's something about going to an event with like-minded people, listening to a band you like live with (often, not always) optimized sound for the space, and 99% of folks uninhibitably jamming out and having a good time.
I can definitely see how the experience would be unappealing to some folks, though. And I should note I'm more of a gig goer than concert attendee - so sound optimization is hit or miss, and the jamming out % is lower. Still fun, still not everyone's cup of tea.
Edit: Idle thought that came up reading this back: what is music, for you - as in, what is your relationship to it? Where does music live in your world? Is it something that comes out of a machine to fill silence in your space or block out noise? Is it something produced by humans, of which MP3s/FLACS/CDs/Vinyl/radio waves etc. are just imprints/simulacrum for wider dissemination?
Basically, is it an activity, or a product at its core? Not really expecting anyone to answer (though they can), just a reflection I personally found interesting. Many acceptable answers.
A happy-ish medium is a well-captured live performance or jam. Alive 2007 (Daft Punk) is a pretty good example of how that can be a thing, for me at least.
Music is so hecken different to everyone, talking about it feels odd. Even sound feels/sounds different to a lot of folks, in enjoyable (soft music for a nice vibe, or a loud af chest-rumbling show) and not-fun-at-all (jarring or unwanted sounds, near-total silence for some) ways.
But yeah, I tend to crave the decibels, because I still have the ability to hear, and must not value it lol... Skull rattling is better to me than unevenly-mixed-in-room jamming, but both can be great in different ways. A fun, more personal experience is nice, but I need sensory overload to recover from, or it's almost not worth the outing.
I'm not a fan of dancing. Love going to my local symphony concerts though. Never crowded; there's no moshing at an orchestral concert. You get your seat and you sit in it, and you clap when the piece is done.
Plus the music's just so much better.
Going to concerts. It's too loud and it's crowded,
I go to seated events and wear loudness-reducing earplugs, so that solves both issues. If it’s a standing-only concert, I stay at the side areas to avoid the crowd. As for the appeal, I just want see the artist perform the songs I like live. I listen to technical music so it’s awesome to see musical skill up close.
You must be fun at parties.
Don't know, never been :P
The need some people have to be part of a group.
I've been "alone" for such a long time that it probably affects how I see things like this, but I just don't get the need some people have. I'm thinking from things like worshipping a politician just to be part of a group to more simple things like needing to insert yourself into a group at work just to be "one of the guys." I've always just done my own thing and never considered myself part of anything, whether friend groups, work "cliques," or whatever. If it was "Tim, Tom, and Tina" I could be friends with all of them, but I never felt like I needed to be, or even ever was part of "their" group. I just come and go as the situation arises.
Some things like politics I obviously fall into one category or another based on my beliefs, but I don't conform or alter my beliefs just to maintain a position within that group.
Hmmm I think I will go with "fandom", or being a fan of something. Like, I enjoy concepts. But there's no universe or product or franchise or sports team or whatever in particular I would consider myself a fan of.
edit hope this counts as behavior lol
I'm the opposite, if it doesn't interest me enough for me to know EVERYTHING, then it isn't very good.
I could tell you so much about the lore and words of: halo, star wars, mass effect, video games from before my time, elder scrolls, D&D, homesick, undertale, STALKER, niche internet topics from my era....
I never got plastering logos for whatever brands you love to consume on everything you own. Like buying decals and stickers and shit to put all over your car, laptop, whatever else. Since when do we pay to advertise for brands..?
u better BELIEVE i have a bad dragon sticker on my phone
Being a fan can make you part of a group. Especially great for people without identity. Slap a sticker on that empty personality!
I mean fandom can be general. the world science fiction society or whatever its called is basically at its core about written science fiction and not about one in particular and comic con is about any comic and gen con is about any gaming and anime cons are about anime. I get ya though. I mean I went to these things and when I was there I was like. This is my people. All the same though I always felt like sorta the biggest hanger on. I loved all the stuff but I like was no good with dressing up or whatnot. I mostly like to look around, go to interesting panels, and then spent all the rest of the time in movie or game rooms or con suite.
How people can be hateful to others because of what their skin colour is, what their sex is, or because they have a disability. In the grand scheme of things our lives are short, so why not spend that time on loving people rather than hating them for things beyond their control which harms no one?
The worst discrimination I've experienced was by the religious finding out I'm atheist. It's mind blowing how nasty people can get when they perceive you as an "other" without reason.
It makes a lot more sense when you realize how many people literally don't have empathy. It's like they're missing a crucial brain function necessary to being a part of a functioning society
That and greed
I agree, I believe that people fundamentally tend towards peace in the absence of any other forces, and this is something that makes no sense to me aside from the ideas being planted and nurtured in our society to keep us divided and lashing out at each other instead of looking up and rising against those who oppress us.
Sport hooligans
This one hits a little too close to home. I always feel unsafe when going outside during a football match, especially if it's between Raja and Wydad (two Moroccan football teams based in Casablanca with the most hostile fanbases I've ever seen). They've definitely killed the appeal of football for me.
I will say, as someone who does not come from a soccer playing country, it certainly seems like the worst sporting behaviour comes from soccer fans. You get it sometimes with American football and even more rarely with Australian football or rugby league, but 9 times out of 10 a story about violence erupting at or after a sporting event and it's soccer hooligans. Even here in Australia where the audiences are tiny compared to our main football codes, the violence is likely to be with soccer.
Watch Green Street. It's a fun and entertaining hobby.
Becoming very invested in watching strangers play games for money.
I used to think this, still kinda do. I get nothing out of watching sports. But just the other day I was talking to a friend who coaches football, she said she likes it because it's similar to chess. There are near limitless combinations of plays and each...segment, down, ball thing, I don't fucking know football, is another move. I'm not going to watch football but I appreciate her perspective
Yeah but people don't dress up in ugly logo covered clothing and face/body paint and spend millions and millions of dollars to build and fill up specialized stadiums with screaming fans to watch strangers play chess.
A game is a game. The actual stakes are basically the same when I play Mario Kart on my couch as when a couple dozen dudes in tights smash into each other in the cold at the sports balls stadium. There's a winner and non-winners and the outcome means basically nothing to the people spending money to watch and wear their overpriced matching fan attire.
Shitting on weaker people. I mean I kinda do get it, because I had the instinct when I was little. But I very quickly got taught respect by people who refused to be bullied by me.
I guess what I don’t get is … how can people still be doing that as an adult? Have they literally never had someone stand up to them before? Or are they addicted to it, unable to control themselves?
I had the impulse toward evil, but it got beaten out of me really young. It really didn’t take much — just one kid being like “no I’m not doing that”.
Agreed. And in the same vein...people who are unkind to others for no discernible reason. I've heard people give the excuse that they were just "stressed out" or "XYZ unrelated thing happened so I was upset".
Almost never in my entire life have I ever understood putting down innocent people because something was going on in my life. It's the absolute lowest form of the low to me. But people taking their anger out on innocent people is so fucking common that it's so fucking frustrating.
I've snapped at people when stressed out but will apologize if so. Stress does change your thinking and makes all sorts of bad decisions more likely. As I get older it happens a lot less, fewer things bother me emotionally, age is a great moderator of mood. But I would accept that as an excuse for uncharacteristic behavior in someone.
Wanting expensive designer clothes/accessories.
One, I hate spending money. Two, I'd worry about ruining them too much to ever want to wear/use them. Three, they just generally aren't comfortable.
Amen. My only high-value items I pay a ton for are electronics. The only time I pay more than 20-30USD for a shirt is if it’s from an independent artist.
The refusal to try something just because it's popular.
I do this sometimes but typically more because I want to see if people still think it's good post-hype.
For me, it's kinda the other way around. I'm often the sort of person that does exactly that, refuse to try something exactly because it's popular.
Why? Well, when everyone around you is doing a certain popular thing (let's think like video games or sports, but could be anything really), I sit on the sidelines and realize it's becoming an addiction for them, and I'll literally count the years my friends and others waste away partaking in that addiction.
Don't ask me how many years I watched friends waste playing Call Of Duty. For me, I like to mix it up, a different hobby or project or whatever almost every day.
I'm the same except I don't have productive hobbies like you. I refuse to do things which are popular. Not all but most things. I don't refuse them because they're popular but when I feel they're popular for no reason.
I refuse to use Instagram, tiktok because they have no reason for me. I don't posts pics or videos of mine on the internet and content there is largely trash. But I use YouTube.
I refuse to watch mainstream movies and series because for some reason I don't like watching humans act. But I watch anime.
It's social signalling, and it's supposed make the curmudgeon seems better than the common rabble and therefore high-status.
I can’t understand how getting in an argument with a family member cannot be solved by explaining my side then listening to their side so everyone’s on the same page. I think this is why it’s sometimes said women want someone to listen whereas men want to solve the issue. I cannot understand not trying to solve the issue. If I think I was right or logical then I want to explain it but I also want to hear the other party and arrive at a middle ground then hug. That never works and I cannot get it.
It seems to me that you're very focused on the end result of 'issue is solved' potentially without understanding and/or acknowledgement of the other person's efforts to solve the issue on their own.
Of course they should take the time to reciprocate when you're the one seeking resolution.
Listening to someone and allowing them time to vent to their own conclusion is to take part of their emotional journey. They may want your solutions eventually, but they want to have the human connection of going through that journey together so that way you have all the context for their feelings/stress.
People don't come to others for help and want to defend their previous actions. They just want to say that they're frustrated, this is what they did, this is what happened, and maybe that's all they want. Listening = validation of the human experience. Maybe after venting, they'll want some solutions.
Personally I have a hard time telling if someone wants a venting session or a solutions session. So I just straight up ask what they need and if they'll want to check in on the solutions after venting. This saves you the emotional labor required to try to help someone that doesn't want it and keeps the chance of frustration/unfulfillment low for both parties
Family though is a mixed bag. Unless both parties are operating under the same expectations, it'll lead to what you described. Understandable that you just don't get it since the fault is not on you
Thanks for responding!
It seems to me that you’re very focused on the end result of ‘issue is solved’ potentially without understanding and/or acknowledgement of the other person’s efforts to solve the issue on their own.
Of course they should take the time to reciprocate when you’re the one seeking resolution.
I guess I am focused on the issue being solved but only for everyone.
Listening to someone and allowing them time to vent to their own conclusion is to take part of their emotional journey. They may want your solutions eventually, but they want to have the human connection of going through that journey together so that way you have all the context for their feelings/stress.
People don’t come to others for help and want to defend their previous actions. They just want to say that they’re frustrated, this is what they did, this is what happened, and maybe that’s all they want. Listening = validation of the human experience. Maybe after venting, they’ll want some solutions.
This is insightful!
Personally I have a hard time telling if someone wants a venting session or a solutions session. So I just straight up ask what they need and if they’ll want to check in on the solutions after venting. This saves you the emotional labor required to try to help someone that doesn’t want it and keeps the chance of frustration/unfulfillment low for both parties
That's a great method. I guess I can't tell as well.
Family though is a mixed bag. Unless both parties are operating under the same expectations, it’ll lead to what you described. Understandable that you just don’t get it since the fault is not on you
Yeah family can sometimes be the hardest especially when emotions are high, no one acts with reason.
In some of those situations, you can "solve" what you think is the problem, but it's impossible for her to explain the aspects that make your "solution" inadequate. Your life experience is just so different, you think you understand but you don't. And that just upsets her more. Women aren't against solutions, they're just done with men not actually understanding, even when they think they're listening.
A group of humans need to pass through a doorway with two doors. The leading human opens one of the doors and passes through the doorway. The next human follows them through the open doorway, and so does the next, and the one after them. The humans bunch up around the one open door, funneling themselves through it rather than opening the other door right beside it.
Then I, the smartest and best of humans, make use of my divine and otherworldly gifts to open the other door that was right there the WHOLE TIME. Truly I am a gift upon the world. Someone should give me chocolates.
Sometimes that door is locked and not everyone wants to bother with checking
was leaving an event somewhere once, don't remember what/where, but everyone was holding the door for the next person so it didn't slam on them, very slow progression. I finally got up to it and kicked down the stopper. people can be very unobservant or dumb, sometimes both.
Hate. Like I don't understand how someone can hate others for the dumbest shit like race or sexuality or gender. Like, I don't truly hate people easily, and when I do hate them, it's because of their actions and/or words. Hating things/people is so exhausting. Idk how people can carry that shit around all the time.
I've had this struggle when writing a story, and writing racist villains; because to do so, you DO need to understand the broken logic in their minds, that still allows them to look sane for most of their lives.
They're working off of patterns they've seen at various points, as well as learned wisdom from some people they've depended on and trusted.
In my day, there are people/movements that I hate, and I'd say very rightly so. I imagine the same things that make me feel that's a "righteous/vengeful" hate look the same in their minds.
The trick is not to write racist villains, you need to write villains with targeted cultural hatreds, that way, even people who disagree can see why.
Wanting to be popular. Wanting to know famous people or worshipping them. Dressing the latest fashion. Participating is all the fads.
Eating boogers!
Why!? Like sure, kids do it but they also eat sand and basically anything they can put in their mouth.
But why would you do it as an adult?! You can pick your nose and the fling it away, or even wipe it on a wall like a psycho, but eating it?? I guess at least it's keeping the environment clean?
There's such an amorphous dividing line around bodily fluids. Swallowing your saliva is fine, but as soon as it exits the mouth, it shouldn't go back in. Unless it's from someone else that you really like, but even then only a tiny bit, incidental to the act of kissing. The same does not apply to boogers. There's also some sort of age or stage of life after which it's no longer acceptable to drink breast milk, unless it's from a different species.
I’ll eat ass after a rave but I won’t eat a booger.
Honestly I think the grossest part of eating boogers is putting dirty fingers in your mouth
Breeding
Just today I was thinking about how we've folded basic animal instincts (breeding) into elaborate social constructs. Humans are so weird...
Rally 'round the flag effect
Like, why???
Its like... your parents have been abusing you for your entire life, and a sudden home invasion is gonna make you love your parents? 🤨
Nah, it feel like some weird movie/tv script where 2 people bond over a traumatic event, too cliche. Doesn't even feel real.
It's more like, you feel scared so you stick with what you know. Fear causes people to revert to a more tribalist mentality.
What's this effect? Never heard of it
When a country goes to war, internal conflicts (i.e. left wing vs. right wing) are forgotten, or at least put on hold, and everyone is suddenly on the same page.
Example:
USA, September 11, 2001
Geeorge W. Bush's approval rating went through the roof. It slowly drops, but then each time the US got a "victory" his approval goes up. The USA Patriot Act basically had no opposition, across the aisle.
Impersonal revenge. I understand the overwhelming emotions when it personally happens to you and needing that "payback". Not that i support it, but i understand it and I'm pretty sure I'd feel the same at the moment if it happened to me. But when it's people you don't know, and you still seek "justice"? There's no justice in increasing cruelty in the world. It only makes the world worse, not better. I think a lot of prejudices, like racism and such, evolve from this way of thinking, and our civilization would be a better place if we stop our revenge centered thinking. Hurting someone because they hurt you or others is weird to me. There are so many other ways to punish people without hurting them without a benefit other than "it makes me feel good to see them hurt because they're bad people".
Handshaking. We’ve both touched our crotch recently, let’s not
I support this. Let's just fuck instead.
I hope you've washed your hand since the last time you've touched down there.
nahhh I just lick my hands clean
Depends on the bathroom
But what if I want to touch your crotch?
Kissing. Why? What's the point of it? What's the appeal?
The mine + yours thing is intimate. You are experiencing the same thing at the same time, while being somewhat vulnerable to the other participant.
Looking into someone's eyes
Holding someone's hand
Kissing someone's lips
FrottingSmelling someone's nose doesn't quite feel like it would fit the list.
So at least for me it’s as simple as, it feels really good and creates an intimacy between the parties involved even if it’s fleeting
Do you mean making out? A quick kiss as a sign of affection makes sense to me. Locking lips and moving your tongues around? Weird. Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but if you are doing something that intimate, there are a lot more fun things to be doing.
It's a precursor to the more fun things, ratcheting up the excitement levels for most.
Do people really just dive straight for the clitoris/dick without making out first? Not judging, just literally never considered that as a possibility. Also noted there are other forms of foreplay, but outside of some S&M branched stuff I always figured there was making out somewhere in the mix most of the time.
It's intimate. It signals interest. Often you get to touch other parts of their body, too. Some people are good kissers and have the appropriate amount of forcefulness/submission for each other.
I'm older and experienced, and there have been exactly two men I have kissed who made it a good experience. I thought I just didn't like it, but really it's more like not many are any good at it. It's an actively unpleasant experience with most.
I'm with you there. I've only tried it a few times tbh and I'm 30. Didn't understand it. It was simply wet, awkward, and unpleasant and I didn't understand what I was supposed to be doing anyway.
Conceptually, I understand why people want and desire sex. For most people, it's a basic human instinct that exists because of a species's drive to further its own existence. But kissing? You're at the wrong end there. I don't get the appeal.
Most of them
Watching reading videos.
I also enjoy these, but what on earth is that about? We have videos of someone's face telling a story, we have videos of things happening for us to see (real and fake), why are stories read aloud while the words appear on the screen so interesting?
Also, we have access to the websites where these stories are coming from. This is the part that does make sense to me, I often miss those certain comments that make the best stories... So it's like a best of the best compilation to watch the reading videos.
But still, why? Why is a reading video the preferred way to find these cherry picked posts and comments from Reddit and Tumblr. Wouldn't a Best Of collection of screenshots or reposts do that job?
In a similar vein, reaction videos. I don't understand why anybody wants to watch somebody watch a video and do over the top "reactions".
That one makes more sense to me, when someone is prone to para-social relationships, it's a way to make fake internet friends. We are meant to get to know people around us by how they react to things, so this type of video is meant to exploit that
I don't watch a TON of these things, but I do enjoy them from time to time. The two bits I enjoy the most are vicarious rediscovery of something I enjoy, and getting a very different point of view on the same thing.
Generally when I watch these it's stuff like "Classically trained musician listens to Megadeth for the first time". I get reminded of some bits that I've grown accustomed to, and sometimes get a whole new perspective on something I've been enjoying for years.
I will say, I don't get "Youtuber reacts to other youtubers reaction to some twitch streamer breakdancing" or "Gymrat listens to ABBA for the first time".
I don't watch these myself, but I have a friend with dyslexia who enjoys them because she struggles with reading for long. She says that an actual human reading them and chatting about the content is more entertaining than the robotic text-to-speech aids she uses for other things.
I have no problem communicating with people through verbal means, but I don't get body language beyond the obvious (e.g. smiling). I mean, I get why people do it but I don't get how people do it. Generally this isn't a big deal but it does make dating really frustrating. I can communicate my own interest indirectly through verbal innuendo, but if the other person is doing anything non-verbal then I'll miss it.
I'm going to be the 'tenth dentist' here and say eating spicy food.
I understand that eventually people build a tolerance so it hurts less but I can't comprehend being willing to even reach that point, especially since it's still not completely pain free I have been told.
Those I've asked say it's a really good flavor, but to me that sounds like being willing to eat a handful of broken glass (assuming no long term damage) as long as it tastes good. There are other foods that taste good and don't hurt, not even slightly.
I am a masochist
I'm actually curious if you mean that literally - in another thread we came up with a theory that enjoying stuff like BDSM, etc and enjoying spicy food could actually be linked by how sensitive someone is to endorphins.
I'm likely not at all sensitive to them, so for me pain just doesn't lead to pleasure (besides trivial things like scratching an itch)
I see where you're coming from, but you have to consider - THAT is how good it tastes, that people are willing to eat it even though it hurts. Other foods taste good, but I wouldn't eat them if they hurt me (if my teeth are sensitive, I'm happy to avoid ice cream even though I love it). But if I overdo chilli, my mouth can be on fire and the hardest part to deal with is not the pain, but the tension between waiting a minute for it to calm down or eating more immediately even though it'll make the pain worse.
Spicy food is so good people will put themselves through hell to eat it. Repeatedly.
For me, eating spicy food calms me down. I suffer from anxiety and eating spicy food allows me to exist only in the here and now. I am of course not saying that everyone who eat spicy food is anxious, it is only my personal preference.
That almost makes sense to me, the same way something like slapping one's own face might.
Normalise self harming with chili powder /s
Plus spicy isn't even a flavour. It's the sensation of heat receptor nerves being chemically stimulated.
I fully agree, to me it doesn't add any flavor at all and even overwhelms other flavors the food would have.
But it's kinda funny that the comment my client currently shows directly below yours says "The pain itself is a flavour!"
IIRC it produces endorphins, though for a significant amount of folks not well enough that they'll subject themselves to it.
That part doesn't make sense to me either - people don't generally intentionally stub a toe or bite their tongue or whatever, but those activities would release endorphins also.
Exercising is about as close as I can think of that people regularly do and releases endorphins, but it of course has direct benefits and not doing it has drawbacks, and it should not really hurt that much to begin with.
Getting a tattoo would also, but I assume most people do that for the result and not the experience.
Are you allergic or something? It's not that it hurts, it's just heat
Just sensitive. There's an extremely small range between nothing and pain where maybe it feels like heat to me, but then physical heat also just becomes pain when there's enough of it.
The pain itself is a flavour! Different spices hurt in different ways, and if you can build up a tolerance, it can be a delicious flavour!
It doesn't hurt if you don't go too hard though, in my experience. To me at least hurting and burning sensation from spicy food are not the same.
Especially in Mexican cuisine chilis have each their own flavour and it's this distinction that I enjoy. But I don't go crazy on eating sole habaneros for example.
It's a (mostly) healthy way to engage in self harming behaviours
Watching other people play (computer) games. I get watching live competitive matches like e-sports. It’s watching the solo gamer on twitch that I don’t understand why it’s entertaining.
I watch a certain gay furry play games I will NEVER play myself but want to enjoy the story/gameplay of without having to do it myself, like Dark Souls 2 or Celeste.
I’m kind of the opposite. I don’t quite see the appeal of people watching physical sports if you’re not partaking.
There are several ways it can be fun, and you do have one of them.
- Competitive games/eSports. These are fun to watch exactly like football or basketball is, the skill it takes to play the game.
- Speed or challenge runs. Kind of related; imagine watching a skilled mountain climber climb a mountain looking to set a world speed record or something like that. Challenge runs aka "can we do this" can be fun as well. People are drawn to that kind of story, and video games are often a safe yet compelling place to contrive that kind of scenario.
- Venue for an entertainer. Sometimes the audience isn't really there for the game, they're there for the player. The game is a backdrop for an impromptu comedy performance.
- To experience the game when unable. Catching a Let's Play of especially an old game that's out of print can be a way to experience that game if you don't have the ability to set up an old console, or if an online game has shut down, or if you just don't have the time. You might watch it while cooking or eating or doing some other task if you can't find time in your life to actually play.
Polar opposites exist. Letting a brain melt into stew watching whatever reptitive thing that's happening happen can be relaxing for the holder of said brain. It's like a pureé of thoughtless goopy wonder. Truly an experience to behold...
Also, competitive gaming is like the nerd equivalent of sportsball. Not bad or anything, but a lot of peeps tend to assume "I like exercise that's fun," means "lets have a battle-to-the-death-style sports game." The same concept bleeds into gaming.
I sometimes like watching videos like this as a way to relax.
Counting someone else’s tragedy as a personal blessing AKA when the privileged make someone else’s tragedy about them.
“I’m so blessed” whilst looking upon someone who’s struggling with mental or physical issues/homeless. And they explain it as their way of having gratitude.
I’m all for the gratitude lists but it’s not meant to be another channel wax on the narcissism and quell esteem issues by comparing yourself to others. Need a benchmark to know you’re doing well? Compare yourself with where you were yesterday. Not where someone else is today.
Esteem boosts shouldn’t come at the cost of pulling attention from someone else’s tragedy to pat yourself on the back.
making someone else's tragedy about them
esteem boosts
Interesting take. When someone says they are blessed or grateful for whatever reason (even in the context of another's tragedy), I see it more as acknowledging how much of our own circumstances are outside of our control, a perfectly normal and healthy thing to recognize and nothing to do with boosting one's own self esteem.
If you so much as bring up someone else’s tragedy especially when it’s in their presence, you respect and pay attention to them and their tragedy.
Taking it and making it about something you want to be grateful for diminishes that. It’s appropriating their tragedy.
It’s not about you.
It’s about them.
This is among the learned narcissistic qualities we all picked up where making things about self where it’s not appropriate. It’s also a common thread in bigotry to see tragedy and be grateful we can afford to eat/not be of a class or gender or struggle another person is going through which should really be about them.not us.
In those circumstances of acknowledging, we look for ways to help them.not just walk away and talk about ourself. I think this is one of the big motivations of current problems such as bystander effect and disassociation.
If you are actively helping a person who is in that circumstance that is a good step.but if you merely take away that you compare yourself to it, you are part of this very prevalent reason why these problems still exist and are diminished as important and acknowledging why it’s important.
We should be succeeding together. Not walking on the heads of others . That’s not something to be grateful for.
Having or liking pets. Pictures of then I can see the appeal of, but the living beings are annoying at best or downright scary.
Never grew up with them, was always silently judged for being afraid of my classmates' pets if I came over
I got a tiny terrier/Chihuahua mix dog last year and she is the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. She is so adorable and funny and playful, and makes me look forward to coming home. She loves wrestling with her toys, and she sleeps next to me just about every night. She also helps me get outside and go on walks more.
How could I not like that??
One of the cats that I've been lucky enough to know in my life was quite simply the kindest, most lovable soul who has ever walked upon this Earth.
Everyone who met her loved her, and everyone she met, she loved.
Her heart was unaware of the existence of hatred, or cruelty, or guile, and she breathed the air of this world for 12 years having never experienced any of those feelings.
I promise you: there are connections that you can make with animals that can change the shape of your heart and the course of your life. It's fine and no biggie if you never want to or get to experience that, but just know: some of the most beautiful hearts you might ever meet just happen to be animals. :)
My only issue is that we have to kill and make kibble from lots of animals to feed these carnivores. But I love my dog and my life and health is better with him in it.
So many things wrong with this:
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You have a phobia about animals. They're not all scary.
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Pets are literally proven to be beneficial for your health.
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The unconditional love from a pet melts my fucking heart.
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It teaches responsibility, especially for younger children.
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It teaches you to be gentle
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Not saying people have to adopt rescue animals but knowing that that animal would have likely been put to death is a sad/joyous feeling, after you realize that you literally saved their life and gave them a good and loving home.
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You're less likely to be burglarized if the criminal sees a big ass barking dog in the window screaming at them.
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Other reasons I'm too lazy to think of.
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I have a close friend who is terrified of pets. She is embarrassed by it though and tells people she’s allergic. She grew up in a country that had a lot of free-range dogs and stuff outside, and I imagine that’s why.
She came over one day when we had three cats. She had never met a cat before. Everyone says this, but our cats are the chillest cute lil MFs ever… and they LOVED her. And she LOVED them. She was so shocked at how chill they were, and I think they could sense that she was nervous around them so they just loafed around her or showed her their belly (they love belly pets.)
She’s still terrified of dogs, which I get—they ignore personal boundaries. But having her meet our chill-ass cats warmed my heart very much.
I'm the total opposite. If I'm not surrounded by animals, I feel lost. I grew up on farms, so it's natural for me to be among critters. I have quite the menagerie of my own. 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 10 ducks. I also informally adopted a horse, but I don't pay for her bills. I just buy her things she deserves like a winter blanket and treats and other things like that.
Having a cat as a roommate, I understand. My arms/hands/ankles are especially unsafe around him... At least the 3-4am blood-curdling screams have stopped. He learned that screaming me into sudden half-awakeness doesn't usually get him food, so I guess there's less reason to do it. 🥲
People who treat their friends as more unconditional than ethics.
Eating bugs.
Eating bugs.
Unless they're wet bugs. Then it's fine dining. /s
Seriously, people retch at the idea of chomping down on a cricket, a "clean" bug, but then get all excited about eating shrimp, which is like a sea Cockroach.
