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dingus @lemmy.world
Posts 31
Comments 1.5K
What would you do if a scraggly homeless person knocked on your door, and all he asked was for a sandwich, a bottle of water, a bath, and perhaps a beard trim?
  • Yeah, it bothers me when young, naive people on the internet don't get this. Homelessness is often a lot more than just not having enough money. Often (but not always), it involves deep psychological issues. One of the reasons why the homeless issue is difficult to solve is because you can't just throw money at them or even just give them a house and expect for everything to be fixed. They need psychological help, and often help with addiction, in addition to the money. I feel for these people, but it is absolutely not the simple issue people like to make it out to be.

    Personally, I don't even answer the door for strangers unless I'm expecting someone.

  • Why aren't there adult only flights?
  • True while I had COVID recently I nearly fell asleep sitting bolt upright lmaoo. Still, for many it's difficult to near impossible to sleep on a plane unless you're lucky enough to get a window seat!

  • I have a stupid question...how does one date if you don't like new people and don't want sex?
  • Tbh, I have occasionally wondered if maybe I'm just gay. I've never dated someone from my same sex, but I've wanted to try. Problem is on these asexual dating sites, they are mostly filled with men. So they are the ones I get the most back and forth with. I've yet to really mutually interact with a woman that I've had an interest with on there.

    I'd rather not stray too far out of the asexual realm when thinking about a partner tbh. It would be nice if there were more aces locally to do stuff with and get to know, but there just aren't.

  • I have a stupid question...how does one date if you don't like new people and don't want sex?
  • To be honest, I have thought now and then that "maybe I'm just gay". But I still don't seem to feel any of that stuff as strongly as sexual people do so idk.

    I've never dated someone from the same sex, but I've been curious about it. These asexual dating sites are mostly filled with men, though, so it's hard to find a woman both that I'm interested in and that ends up responding to me. My profiles put me as open to both men and women, but I've yet to find a woman that wants to mutually chat tbh.

  • I have a stupid question...how does one date if you don't like new people and don't want sex?
  • This is good to hear, honestly. I felt like I am taking crazy pills a bit when so many people in these comments are saying there is something wrong with me for not being immediately really into someone I just met.

    I think one of the difficulties I had is that...maybe a decade ago when I was a lot younger, I had someone who was interested in me. I wasn't interested in them, but they were nice and so I thought I would maybe try it. We go on a date and it's going fine but the guy wants to be able to kiss and stuff.

    I get that boundaries are a thing and you can tell people no, but... I noticed at that point that most people are sexual. And most sexual people seem to be immediately interested in making out and having sex with someone. I get that not everyone is this way, but the majority of people are because they are driven by sex. So it's all just a bit confusing and difficult to navigate as someone on the asexual spectrum.

  • I have a stupid question...how does one date if you don't like new people and don't want sex?
  • Oh please, I'm hardly the only one that ghosts people on these sites. Half of the time, the other person stops talking and ghosts me instead. Online dating is a different sort of beast and it's difficult to wade through it. I'm more than polite and friendly in person.

    Hell, I'd actually like it if there was a way to set up in person dates with asexuals. It's just difficult considering how rare asexuals are to begin with.

  • I have a stupid question...how does one date if you don't like new people and don't want sex?
  • My cousin has this sort of relationship with her husband. They actually are generally off doing their own thing most of the time. But their relationship is very healthy and they have a great life together. It's interesting seeing the spectrum of relationships that I see... with some couples seeming to be glued together at the hip, and some just coming together now and then. I guess I'm just a bit more of a standoffish type in general.

  • I have a stupid question...how does one date if you don't like new people and don't want sex?
  • It's interesting that people are suggesting that I just be alone forever or think that I need therapy to fix my orientation.

    I mean, surely I can't be the only person on the planet that can't immediately fall in love with people they just met, right??? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here that this is the answer. It takes me a long time to develop those kinds of connections.

  • I have a stupid question...how does one date if you don't like new people and don't want sex?
  • It's not that I dislike them. It's just that I'm not immediately in love with anyone. Otherwise, I have no affinity for them and socially it's incredibly draining. People are getting a bit of a wrong idea. I don't hate people at all. And I actually have the capacity to feel incredibly deep connections to others. It's just that it takes a long ass time to get there and is usually done passively over the span of many months. I don't see how any amount of therapy could possibly make me immediately fall in love with anyone.

  • I have a stupid question...how does one date if you don't like new people and don't want sex?
  • Yeah, I suppose I should try to join some sort of groups or something irl. Part of the problem is that dating-wise, I'm working with the small narrow group that are asexual people. You don't run across them irl. So I can't hope to just naturally find someone to date in person like a sexual person would. I could naturally make more friends maybe, but not date those that I find.

  • I have a stupid question...how does one date if you don't like new people and don't want sex?
  • Just curious on what you think this needs therapy for? I can't change my sexual orientation (or lack thereof) and I can't change my lack of social battery and I can't magically love people I've just met, no matter how much therapy I could possibly have.

    Haha I do think about getting a pet sometimes. Although they are a lot harder to travel with than another human being, for example!

  • I have a stupid question...how does one date if you don't like new people and don't want sex?

    Edit: People are really making me out to be an evil psychopath with no empathy. I get that you can only tell so much from one post, but it's incredibly far from the truth. I have people that love and adore in my life and would do anything for. It just takes me a long ass time to get to that point...and as an introvert, my social battery with new people wears down quickly. Online dating is just difficult. I am not rude to others. Conversations just quickly peter out and neither I or my match end up continuing for much longer. The "ghosting" I speak of is often mutual. These aren't people I've interacted with for months that I suddenly stop talking to. It's chatting for a day or several and then we peter out.

    If you think from this small post that I am such a psychopath as to discard a literal child, I don't know what to tell you. It's just leaping to such wild conclusions that I don't even know how to respond. I don't even necessarily want kids...I just want to be able to have the option to.

    ----

    I'm sorry if this is too odd or specific of a question, but I have a bit of a dilemma.

    I live alone. I have some work friends work friends, but they basically stay just friends at work. So I get lonely sometimes. And sometimes I just want to have someone around to do stuff with me. And sometimes I wonder what it might be like to raise a family.

    So I occasionally try dating apps. But when I finally get someone to respond to me, my reaction is first a little bit of excitement, but then I get annoyed at having to chat with someone I just met all the time. So I unfortunately act like a dickhole by then ghosting them soon after. Even if I manage enough stamina to chat back and forth for a week or so, it always just ends up tiring and a bother to me.

    The thing is, I don't really have much capacity to feel attracted to people. I'm probably somewhere on both the asexual and aromantic spectrums. So you'd think, why date? Just make a friendship then. But there are some things you can't do with a friend...like raise a family and such.

    Plus, I don't even think I could manage a friendship with how difficult it is for me to like someone. I don't like anyone I just met. It takes a long time for me to enjoy and appreciate people, and many never actually make it to the point of someone I really like. There have been a couple of times where I have tried hanging out with people as friends and it's just...kind of dissatisfying to me?? Yet I really like hanging out with certain members of my family. I don't get it.

    Plus like...what are you even supposed to do on a date or on an outing with friends? What are you supposed to say when you're chatting with a partner? How long and often are you supposed to chat with each other? I feel like I need some sort of a step by step guidebook because I don't even know what the hell people are supposed to do with each other.

    Sorry if this is too specific. I'm just wondering if anyone else out there is as confused with human interaction as I am.

    82
    Home Improvement @lemmy.world dingus @lemmy.world

    Looking for some HVAC suggestions to better cool my stifling second floor

    Hi all. I have a 2 storey, ~1200 sq ft home in a hot climate. I have a single HVAC unit...central air and ductwork, electric AC/heat. There is no zoning to the system. The thermostat is downstairs.

    Everything is great in the winter months. But in the summer months, the upstairs is absolutely stifling. I don't have a thermostat upstairs, but it feels like it stays at least 10 degrees hotter than downstairs. I get that hot air rises, but considering the bedrooms are upstairs, it makes things unbearable.

    My HVAC air handler and condenser are from 2008, so they are rather old and I'm likely to have to replace them soon. When I do so, I want to figure out how to keep the upstairs more comfortable.

    Before I start asking companies for quotes, I want to figure out what I'm doing first. Some things I've come across...

    1. Install something like a Nest system with a remote temperature sensor. Place the temperature sensor upstairs and have the Nest use that to figure out when to cycle the AC on instead of the downstairs thermostat. I could install something like this myself instead of needing an HVAC company, though it isn't necessary very efficient.

    2. Consult with an HVAC company about having dampers/a zoning system installed. From what I've read online, it seems like people are saying this isn't really financially worth it. But if I'm at the point where I want a new system anyway, would it make sense?

    3. Window AC units are an obvious "solution", but I can't have them due to the HOA.

    4. I have read of suggestions of people saying to close the vents downstairs in the summer, but it seems like this is bad advice, as supposedly it will stress your HVAC and cause it to fail prematurely.

    Edit: Just found a new one...setting the fan on the thermostat to "on" instead of "auto". Although some people seem to warn of mold growth.

    Would love to hear any and all suggestions. Thanks!

    39

    I got a sizeable raise and am now officially making low six figures and have no one to share my good news with

    Hi all. Apologies if this is not allowed here. I know people out there are struggling, but I just want to share my good news with someone.

    It's a big milestone of accomplishment in my life, but I feel weird just telling family members or my online friends about it. The only other people who know are my coworkers because we all got the same raise. Money doesn't go as far nowadays due to crazy inflation post COVID and my area has higher cost of living than where I grew up, but I'm still very happy about this. I remember back when I used to only make minimum wage. All those years of schooling eventually made their way back to me. I'll never make as much money as someone like a doctor, but it's definitely enough for me to live comfortably as a single person.

    Anyway, I'll delete this in a bit (or sooner if it gets removed by a mod), but I hope you guys out there have a good weekend.

    Edit: Thank you guys very much :)

    Edit 2: Jeez there are so many more comments than I expected. You guys are so nice!!

    114

    How do you deal with two people who you are close to and have to spend every day with...but one of them hates the other one?

    I apologize if this isn't allowed, but I wasn't sure exactly where to put it. Just let me know if it's inappropriate and I'll delete. Thanks.

    I'm a loner, so my life is basically just work and the internet. Two of my coworkers are among my favorite people in the whole world, but one of them doesn't like the other one and will complain to me about how they don't like them.

    We work incredibly closely together...only a few feet apart for hours on end. Our job also necessitates that we frequently communicate with one another. In the beginning, I absolutely loved it and there was no conflict.

    Now, I often get my one coworker complaining to me that the other is lazy. And I'm not going to lie, the "lazy" one definitely takes more breaks than everyone and doesn't at all work as hard as the others. But that doesn't really bother me because she's a super incredibly nice and friendly person.

    But over time it has bothered my hardworking coworker more and more and driven a wedge into what I would have once considered to be a friendship between the 3 of us.

    It never gets to the point where there is yelling or arguments or anything, but it absolutely ruins the mood and then I hear about it later.

    I interact with these people for hours on end every single day and I'm just not sure how to handle it. I've been struggling to know how to deal with it for months now.

    To top it all off it gives me endless paranoia that the hardworking coworker secretly resents me and hates me too. This stuff never used to happen before, but know I feel like it's all that happens.

    27

    Looking for music with specifically rapidly ping ponging right/left stereo effects

    Whenever I come across a song with specifically rapidly switching and ping ponging or warbling right/left effects, I get chills. But it's hard to find exactly what I mean.

    The only two songs that I know of that exemplify this are:

    • Such Great Heights by The Postal Service
    • Slow Me Down by Emmy Rossum

    I heard the latter song first and I'll never forget that moment I was sitting in front of the stereo and hit play, not knowing what to expect. I kept repeating the beginning of the song over and over again to hear that effect in the intro, amazed at what my ears were hearing.

    There are a few more songs I've listened to that do this, but I've lost them and can't remember what they were called sadly. I've been combing through my music library but haven't found them again.

    An example of songs that do NOT fit this criteria are Left and Right by Charlie Puth or Runaway by Kanye West. I don't really care that the lyrics switch ears. It doesn't provide that indescribable experience that the songs I posted above give.

    ----

    I'm finding that this is such a hard thing to Google. A lot of people link to songs simply with "right left stereo effects", but I'm looking for something more specific as in the above. I'm specifically looking for rapid right left switching effects, and NOT just instruments occasionally played in a different ear.

    My genre of choice is pop/EDM and modern pop, but I'm open to others. Thanks all, I'd really appreciate it.

    ----

    Edit: Sorry I haven't been keeping up with the responses, guys. There are so many songs to wade through. Thanks!

    46

    How can I deal with not being able to help with other people's problems whom I care about?

    Hi all. Apologies if this isn't the right community for this type of question. Just let me know and I'll remove it.

    Recently I've been struggling a bit. There are a few people in my life right know who I care deeply about. They are going through some very rough times right now. (Ex: money issues, sick relatives, etc.)

    I am very frustrated because I hear about what's going on all the time and I am powerless to do anything to help. The advice I've had in the past is "just be a friend and be there for them," but there is only so far I am mentally and even physically able to go with that. All I want to do is to fix it and make it better for them but I can't.

    And it's been making me go a bit crazy tbh. It's pretty narcissistic of me to be reacting this way, but I can't help it. I don't tell these people that I am stressed out because of them and I don't tell them that it is affecting me in any way. It's such an asshole move for me to be feeling this way but I just don't know how to get out of it.

    I try to be nice and friendly all the time, but it's killing me. I just want to be able to help but I can't. I'm completely and totally powerless.

    Surely there are those of you out there who care about others and have run into this issue before. What the actual fuck am I supposed to do? "Just be a friend" doesn't help my mental state or do anything for any of the issues that any of us have.

    Thanks all.

    22
    Home Improvement @lemmy.world dingus @lemmy.world

    The water from my faucets suddenly smells like stagnant pond water. How can I tell if it's safe to drink?

    Hi all.

    This happened several months back as well in June. However, at the time, I had an incredibly old water heater that had not been serviced. I replaced it due to its incredibly advanced age (not due to the smell) and the smell eventually went away.

    But this week I noticed my water has suddenly developed the same smell again. However, my new water heater is only a few months old. Surely it doesn't need to be serviced already? It is still outputting very hot water. I have it set to 130F, which is above the temperature that it was set at by default. (I think when I got it, it was set to 120F at first, which I found too cold. So I upped it not long after).

    ALL faucets and things with a water supply within the home (ex toilets) exhibit the smell when the water is running. It is not limited to one spigot, floor, or room. Hot water makes it worse (as in showering), but I still notice it with cold water (as in flushing the toilet or room temp water from the tap...I can't get my water super cold where I live though).

    The smell reminds me of when I used to swim in a lake or pond. It doesn't smell like sewage and it doesn't smell like fish, but it is not overly pleasant.

    Is there a way I can investigate this easily enough without hiring a plumber? And how can I tell if it's safe to drink.

    I have city water, NOT well water.

    Thanks all.

    19
    Home Improvement @lemmy.world dingus @lemmy.world

    How the hell do I clean/vacuum carpeted stairs?

    I know this is a cleaning request than a home improvement one, but I would appreciate some advice.

    Some months back I moved into a place where the only carpet is located on a staircase. The carpet is thick and maybe considered to be medium to high pile??

    The entire time I've lived here, I've struggled to figure out how to clean the damn stairs. The carpeting seems to be a magnet for every particle of dirt and strand of hair.

    I have a full size vacuum with a hose. The hose doesn't actually seem to vacuum up anything from the stairs and the main part of the vacuum is too large to use. So the vacuum does fuck all for it.

    I'm thinking I maybe need to use something like a wire bristle brush and a lint roller to actually remove dirt and hair??? Is there a best methodology for something like this?

    Also of note...I was gifted a Bissell Crosswave recently. It doesn't seem like it would work well on thick carpeting, but I'm wondering if there's a technique where I could maybe use it for that???

    I appreciate any advice! Thanks!

    16

    Is there a way to disable haptic feedback?

    Somewhere within the last few updates, it seems that haptic feedback has been added to whenever you swipe over a post.

    I know a lot of Apple users were asking for this, but I really don't like it as an Android user who doesn't have haptic feedback for apps normally. It's annoying for my phone to be vibrating every 2 seconds when I'm doing things. Is there no option to turn it off?

    Thanks! Loving the work you guys do!

    17

    Happy Friday!! Are any of you doing anything fun this weekend??

    I am having some family members visit my place for the first time since I moved in and I'm pretty excited. It's a small thing, but yeah. I have a tendency to work most weekends because I don't have a social life so it's a nice change of pace. Do any of you get to do anything fun? Hooe your Friday goes well!

    21

    What do you do personally to find happiness in your everyday life?

    I know the question is a bit vague, but I'm hoping people will interpret this however they see fit an give their own experiences.

    To be honest, I'm struggling a bit with this right now and would enjoy reading others' experiences.

    62

    What brand and type of milk alternatives will froth in an automatic milk frother?

    Hi all! Don't kill me but I'm a heathen that just uses a Keurig. I recently got a new one that has an automatic milk frother and it's been fun to use with regular milk.

    I think milk has been hurting my stomach though so I thought I'd use a milk alternative. Supposedly alternative milk types can froth, but I found out the hard way that it is dependent on brand, water, and fat content. I've heard of milk alternatives having special "batista editions" that will froth up better, but I'm unfamiliar with what those are.

    I tried picking up some almond milk at my local Aldi and it doesn't froth at all.

    Are there some more readily available and prominent brands out there that I can pick up that will froth? I have access to Publix, Aldi, and Walmart. I do NOT have access to places like Costco or Trader Joe's. I am not picky about what kind of milk alternative it is at the moment (oat, almond, soy)...I'm just looking for a type and brand that will actually froth.

    Thanks all!

    20

    wefwef completely died for me all of a sudden and will not work at all. Anyone else having issues?

    I am no longer able to log in or view any content with wefwef. I deleted the app and tried to navigate to the website with my phone.

    I am technically able to access the website, but any attempts to login in say "connection error". Any attempts to view posts say "problem fetching posts". I have tried multiple instances and none of them work.

    Is anyone else having this issue? I am an android user. Thanks.

    16
    Home Improvement @lemmy.world dingus @lemmy.world

    How do I get rid of the hard particulate matter embedded within my window screen

    I moved into a place with one very hazy window screen that is difficult to see through.

    I have tried scrubbing it with a brush with soapy water and blasting it with the hose. But I cannot get rid of the hard material buildup. I even tried dipping a brush in CLR and scrubbing the screen.

    When I Google how to clean a window screen, I just run across people telling me to do what I already tried. But I think the people touting these methods simply have screens with dirt in them.

    This doesn't seem like simple dirt buildup. I enclosed a close up photo of what it looks like.

    I bet if I poked all of the holes individually with a toothpick I could clean it, but that would take eons. Any advice? Thanks.

    57

    "Gallbladder's Last Day" - by The Awkward Yeti

    Original credit here: https://theawkwardyeti.com/comic/gall-bladders-day/

    2

    My little Baphomet statue says hello :)

    Sorry for the quick post and then delete. Uploading through Jerboa rotated the image for some reason!

    11

    Why is it that sometimes I can see the exact number of upvotes and downvotes on a comment, and other times I can only see the overall karma?

    The vast majority of the time, I can only see the overall karma score on my comment. But occasionally, I can see exactly how many times it was upvoted vs downvoted. This happens across multiple instances, not just a single instance, but it is very uncommon.

    4