It's almost like one of those things took place in public, on bloody TV no less, and the other took place literally on a secret island. Weird.

Comfy bed.

I recently got into armored combat so, knights. If we're gonna kill each other, let's at least be civilized!

No, I'm saying the police are no better, arguably worse, than a gang. They're pretty much a state run gang. They left a life of being a gangster, to be a state run gangster.

Again, did I say she did things perfectly? Nope. In fact she did them pretty fucking bad. Go back to my first post and read it again, please. I said those things were bad BECAUSE she was doing them.

I only ever had an issue with the person I replied to saying that you have to engage in the conversation, possibly before you're ready. No. That's wrong. You engage with the conversation when BOTH PARTIES feel comfortable.

Both people can be right, or wrong. They both handled it pretty badly. I'd say she probably handled it worse. Again, the ONLY THING I'm commenting on at all is the implication that someone MUST engage with a conversation before they're ready to.

Nuance and reading comprehension are hard.

Edit for clarity: the only thing I disagree with from the original comment I replied to is the bit that I quoted. The bit about engaging outside of a timeframe comfortable to you. I feel like some people are thinking I'm defending the GF - to be clear, I am not. Again, I am JUST disagreeing with the bit I directly quoted.

This post mirrors my own life way too eerily close. Roommate I lived (still do) with transitioned from male to female. I've always been pretty feminine and have, naturally, had the questions. Their transition really opened my eyes to what it all means, and helped me to realize that, nah, I'm fine with the body I have (well, okay, I still have some body problems, but it's just cause I'm fat) and just like the things I like, and that's ok.

I didn't say he couldn't also choose to pick a better time. It's a mutual thing. They both need time to process the new information, get into a more healthy state, and readdress this thing. That can only happen when both say as much.

I'm pretty sure I said as much in the rest of the post, if you want to go back and read the other 80%.

Whether she realizes it or not, refusing to engage or talk about it, except in her own time frame- is not a good sign for a healthy relationship,

Haaaaaaaaaard disagree. People need time to process and self regulate before engaging with things like this. The silent treatment isn't the right play, and neither is stewing in it, not trying to reach an emotionally grounded state, and reapproacing the situation.

A much more healthy response, from either individual, would be to set a timeframe for when they can reengage. Either him saying "clearly you don't want to discuss this now. That's okay. How about the morning?" or her saying the same, essentially. It's healthy to admit that you just do not have the emotional capacity to have a conversation respectfully.

There's a pretty good chance the questions asked were only asked because she was still very emotionally high. The fact that it occurred in the middle of the night, suddenly, after OP being asleep, says that she has probably not been regulating. Not good times to be having emotional discourse. Every person has said weird, gross, or straight up untrue things when they're emotionally charged. Stuff you don't believe or wouldn't act on, and never would have said in a normal state.

None of this is to excuse any of the actions or words said. She clearly has some emotional issues, and needs actual, professional help. I'm just picking at the "refusing to talk" bit. There are healthy ways to refuse to talk, and many benefits to not just butting heads immediately.

Edit for clarity: the only thing I disagree is the bit I quoted. The bit about engaging outside of a timeframe comfortable to you. I feel like some people are thinking I'm defending the GF - to be clear, I am not. Again, I am JUST disagreeing with the bit I directly quoted.

It's true enough advice, though. She has an emotional problem, not a rational one. She probably knows full well that her response isn't rational, but she still feels the feelings she has. Explaining the rationale and logic she seems to be missing is only going to make her more upset. Versus, instead, figuring out what her actual problem is. Maybe it's a long standing issue, having texts ignored. Maybe she has some past trauma, or something specific happened that day that just set them off.

It's not always about being right or wrong. Her response, we all agree, was a wrong response. It's one that I'd be considering the relationship for. But it's also one to learn from, for all parties. Someone having a problem stemming from an emotion often isn't going to be made better by logicing the situation into submission.

Found their way out to... What, a more official gang? He's not doing anything good here. None of them are.

Ok now THAT'S a weird one to censor.

You're asking people to describe a qualic phenomenon. This thing, the feeling of being trans, isn't really something someone can describe to someone who hasn't experienced it.

Ultimately, what you're describing to me is less trans, and more along the lines of how I am. I'm a cisgender male, but I'm also very feminine in certain areas. I paint my nails, I enjoy dancing, too, and I play female characters in games where I can make the character. I enjoy teaching, and nurturing. I have no desire to change my gender, or to conform any more strictly to one set of gender norms or the other.

So often, you'll hear trans people say they always knew. I think that's both the case, and a bit off. My guess is that they've always had a feeling SOMETHING was amiss, but weren't really able to nail down the exact feeling until, well... They started considering transitioning.

I would love to read the whole study you're referring to with the theory of mind. That sounds fascinating.

Came here just to note this. So close!

I was talking about the phone lmao.

Oh, man. My mother had cats who would just attack tp or paper towels. We had them both hanging the 'correct' way, got tired of it and flipped em. Now, though, I stick to dogs lol

Something would get turned off really quick.

The proper way to hang it, if you have cats, is the other way so they don't bat it all off if the get access. This is why I do not have cats.

I dunno, have you seen the drivers out there? Pretty sure some of them are watching movies.

Sure, you don't need to stress eat while you're bored. But eating is already a thing you do, it makes you feel good, and it's there.

Imagine if you actually had to smoke a cigarette 3 times a day. The smoke is a requirement for your body. It makes you feel good, but you can go to excess and it's bad for you. This is MUCH closer to food.

You HAVE to eat. You eat daily. Not doing so is a disorder. So you can't just not eat, you have to develop a healthy relationship with food. With this thing that tastes good, makes you feel good, and you have to do anyway. Well, that's okay. We can have a healthy relationship with it!

Oh no. You're sad. Something bad happened. You need something to help you out. Well, how about some food? It's usually pretty enjoyable. You eat every day anyway, so like... It's not a HUGE deal, surely, and you're fuckin SAD man. Fuck it, whole pizza it is! Let's get happy!

Rinse and repeat, because life is inevitably a big series of bad things (and good, but we're not focusing on those) happening. Now your emotional coping is tied to food. It's not as addictive as nicotine, but it is a requirement for life. It's a lot harder to change THAT than it is to just say "don't smoke." It's like going to a smoker and saying "smoke, but only 3 times a day."