Asklemmy @lemmy.ml MajorMajormajormajor @lemmy.ca 9mo ago

What is a gender neutral replacement for man, guys, buddy, etc?

So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

405

405 comments

Cunts
- We can close this thread now. The question has been answered.
- instance name checks out
- Threadkiller
- Found the Australian
  
  In New Zealand of all places!
  
  They wish they could be our western island.
- Oi! You're a good cunt!
- I'd accept bloody beautiful bastards as well.
- Fucks
  
  Shits
  
  Turds
  
  Maggots
- Ah, finally! A worthy alternative.
y'all
- Y'all doesn't get enough love. It is gender neutral and extremely versatile.
  
  Vosotros agrees.
  
  I agree. It's the plural of "you" that should be the official standard, since it disambiguates "you." It can even be broadened to include larger groups via "all y'all," as in, not just y'all in talking to, but all y'all in the house.
  
  It can replace "guys", but not "man," though.
  
  It's become the go-to in my company
  
  It sounds cringeworthy if you're not American though. The standard way of saying it is "you lot" and other dialects, like mine, have "yous".
  
  I can't do it, I don't want to sound like I'm from the South.
- And, for larger groups, all y'all.
- I use y'all a lot and im near Chicago
  
  I've started using it and I'm Canadian.
  
  Me too, but I'm from 'round Minnesota so it's more like ja'll.
- you'uns
  
  Youse if you’re a Geordie.
- yinz
- For those not in the US south and afraid of being judged, "all" on its own is an option.
  
  "Hi all" is unlikely to raise any eyebrows
  
  "Hi everybody!"
- Bingo. I use y'all for everything. Even the singular. It's casual, neutral and relaxed.
- Scott the Woz on Lemmy? :o
  
  "Hey y'all, Scott here."
- yall sounds super trashy.
A lot of people use “folks” for plural.

I feel like “guys” is fairly un-gendered but people disagree with me. Personally, I haven’t used the word “guys” to refer to anything male in what seems like forever.

“Bud” and “fella” are good singulars.
- I used to have a maths teacher who called almost every number "guy".
  
  "And this guy goes to zero, while this guy goes to infinity!"
- I'm a cis woman in IT, I'm guy, dude, man, bro... I don't really care. You can change to make a specific person feel more confortable but most woman don't care to be dude or guy
- Bud is very rarely used for women (or at least for me), but it is one of my favourite things to hear tbh
- "Guys" is ungendered.
  
  Reconsider whether it's worth being friends with people that insist on fighting over the term "guys".
  
  And if you are surrounded by a lot of particularly sensitive people, just call them "friend" or "friends". It works for people you both like and dislike. Glorious.
  
  Sure, but as a professional (teacher) I’m not willing to put my career on the line by challenging a sensitive parent. A few years ago we were told not to use that word, and when it comes to things like that, I do as I’m told.
  
  Aw yeahhhh, everyone's into guys 🫦
  
  (well, except aro/ace people maybe)
  
  Modifying my language choices is literally the least I can do to make people feel more included, so anyone who can't fathom doing that is for sure, not worthy of being a friend.
  
  If you are in the Midwest, Guys is absolutely gender neutral.
  
  Edit: downvote me all you want guys, it won’t change the truth.
A wise man once said, "I'm a dude, he's a dudes, she's a dude. We're all dudes. Hey!"
- Strange though, that when you ask most men how many dudes they've slept with suddenly, she's not a dude...
  
  There's a very big difference between "dude", referring to someone you're talking to, and "a dude", referring to someone you were talking about.
  
  Ive generally always agreed with the former comment, but I've heard this argument a few times and it does demonstrate the disconnect well. I've switched it up to a simple y'all.
  
  That's just how our language works. You can also use the word "fuck" in many ways that have wildly different meanings.
  
  As a former resident of San Diego I have no problem sleeping with dudes. Because everyone is dude.
  
  People think they're clever when they ask "would you sleep with the dude?" My response is " bold of you to assume that I haven't." Everyone is dude. You can try to twist things as much as you like but dude normalization reigns supreme.
- Out of the mouth of babes... 🥰
  
  I believe that sentiment was also uttered by another wise man. A man of his time. Mr. Jeffrey Lebowski.
In Australia the gender-neutral term is ‘Cunt’.
- While a great word, in my neck of the woods that wouldn't go over well.
  
  Be the change you want to see in the world.
  
  Yeah, I only call my friends cunts. Most Americans would not be too happy to be on the receiving end of this one.
  
  You never specified which neck (chin?) of the woods was applicable.
- I thought it was mate
  
  I stand corrected.
  
  There’s, cunts, good cunts, sick cunts, and shit cunts.
  
  Apply as needed.
  
  not for people you like
  
  It’s really context dependent.
  
  Mate can actually be far more hostile and negative than cunt ever is.
Try the following for groups:

Hey folks, how's it going?

Listen up assholes!

Greetings, gumshoes
- I say "greetings earthling(s)" but I also like gumshoe! Also definitely adding "listen up assholes" to the rotation, my coworkers appreciate your suggestions!
- Listen up assholes!
  
  Yo!
  
  Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  
  Yo!
  
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  
  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
- Hey white stains!
What's up, cunts

Works best if they're your friends and also you're in Australia
- I am pretty sure the "friends" part is optional in australia
- Or Scotland
Comrade.

☭
- Our tovarich
"Foolish mortals" is my go-to gender neutral form of address
"Fuckers" is gender-neutral.
- But it excludes asexual people /s
I’m AFAB enby, saying “you guys” and calling me “dude” is fine. Those to me aren’t gendered anymore. The people who get offended at general terms like these for groups of people need to touch grass.

But if you’re dead set on it, embrace y’all lol. Just don’t say it with a southern drawl and you’ll be fine. It’s a fantastic gender neutral term. You can also just train yourself not to add in the “you guys” to the “what’s up” phrase, and maybe just say “what’s up with you?” “What’s up with you all?” Etc.
- "Offended" is a bit of a strong word.
  
  Many trans folks are, understandably, bummed out when gendered terms that refer to their AGAB are used to refer to them.
  
  I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to avoid causing that brief moment of dysphoria. That just feels like a thoughtful and kind thing to do.
  
  It’s good that OP means well, but also there are so many of us who do not care and are not affected because we know the speaker is using a generalized term and isn’t (usually) being malicious with it. I call several of my cisgender girl friends “dude” and “bro” and I’ll call men “girl” as a joke sometimes (like, girl what are you doing?). Many of these terms simply have completely lost their original gendered meaning in a lot of contexts.
- No southern drawl? Y’all is like our one positive contribution don’t take it away from those of us who ain’t bigots
- Yeah I agree, bro, but I wouldn't use guys or dudes on old ladies
  
  Well no lol you gotta read the room sometimes 😅
- You can also just train yourself not to add in the “you guys” to the “what’s up” phrase, and maybe just say “what’s up with you?” “What’s up with you all?” Etc.
  
  This is likely the best solution, but also a hard one. Thanks for the perspective though.
The simplest approach is to accept language is inherently gendered, and at a certain point it is exhausting to either take offense to everything or walk on eggshells.

I’m southern, so I use y’all almost exclusively lol
- I'm more of a "be the change you wish to see" kinda person. I'll neutralize my language to encourage others to do the same, eroding the banks of the river of language in the direction I wish it to go.
  
  Nice picture
- Did you just assume my language?
Mortals
Fucker.
- Oi, stop being a cunt - some Auzzie
  
  Wait, I take back my suggestion. This is it.
- Sup fuckers,
  
  As per my previous email we should set a schedule for a meeting with the fuckers in the sales department.
Everypony.

An oft overlooked option that leaves no one indifferent.
- Cursed
  
  But very truly
  
  leaves no one indifferent.
Meatbags.
- Negative, I am a meat Popsicle.
Meatbags?
All the alternatives make me cringe.

If someone is insulted that you use the term "guys" for a group, they're not worth being friends with. That's a lot of exhausting mental energy to deal with. Ignore 'em and move on.
I find "y'all" works pretty well, so does "folks" or even better "Fellow Workers."
- “Y’all” is Texas’ greatest cultural contribution IMO.
  
  Texas does not get to claim that 100%, Georgia, Alabama, the Carolinas, Tennessee, and Mississippi own a good bit of that
- I've noticed people using these more but I hate them. It's a cultural thing. I'm a New Zealander and y'all sound American redneck to me and folks just sounds weird.
  
  Rich coming from someone who says ‘nor’ instead of ‘no’.
  
  /s
  
  Seriously, I love NZ and can’t wait to get back there. I’ve only met a few shitty kiwis and they were all here in the US lmao
  
  All it takes is using it for a bit, and it doesn't.
  
  good point, bro
'round here "guys" has become gender neutral. But "folks" is my go-to.
I mean buddy is already gender neutral.
"Citizens". It has the added benefit of implying that you're an authority figure and they're in trouble.
- Luckily service guarantees citizenship!
  
  I would like to know more!
- Comrades?
  
  ⚒️
- Not everyone is a citizen in the place they happen to be. In my country, more than 30% of permanent residents are not citizens.
  
  But they are still citizens (of somewhere)
Fellow kids
Folks.
- Chat
- This is a great plural term, thanks.
I say y'all. It's inclusive.
- It is, but I feel as a non-southerner (or even US), I feel obliged to go full Sandy Cheeks and it never ends as well as I think it does.
- Youens
Man, guys, buddy, etc

Just use them as gender neutral. Done.
- I'm not your buddy, pal!
  
  I'm not your pal, fwend!
- Tack on bro, sis, king, queen, and dude, and you've got a ton of words to choose from
- They specifically asked for a gender neutral option to these.
- How many guys have you had sex with recently?
  
  It's context-dependent. "They" as gender-neutral was also considered context-dependent until recently.
  
  "I met someone and they said..." would have been accepted generally
  
  "I met a woman and they said..." is only recently acceptable.
  
  Hoe isn't really a gender-neutral term. It's really rude to call someone a gardening tool.
Choom(s).
Y'all
- I love “y’all”. It is one of the only things that Texas was way ahead of the curve on. It is gender neutral, easy to say, grammatically correct, and has such a long history that it doesn’t sound forced or intentionally PC.
  
  Y’all is the way. Y’all is the future. Peace, y’all.
  
  And you can go one layer more and say "all y'all" when you really mean everyone. It's a great word, I just wish I liked how I sounded when I say it.
  
  As a Australian, I tend to shy away from USAisms as a matter of course, but I 100% agree. English lacks a formal plural form of “you”, and while Australia has its own informal variation (“youse”), I’m a big fan of y’all.
"My fellow great ape"
I use "folks" a lot. "Howdy folks." I am also a Tarheel so I can get away with y'all. And howdy.
- As a Texan, I officially give the entire country the “Howdy” and “Y’all” pass, but we’re keeping “there’s a snake in my boot” for ourselves.
Cheese bags.
Guys is always fine as it refers to followers of Guy Faulks and pretty much anyone has probably considered blowing up parliament at some point.
Dude.

I'm a dude. He's a dude, She's a dude. We're all dudes.
- Trans women sometimes feel uncomfortable when they are called dude, so if you're aiming for maximum comfort of people, dude is not a great choice.
  
  Well, to make a more serious comment instead of just quoting an old song from an old movie, it's definitely most important to call people by pronouns that they prefer. That's the number 1 priority.
  
  That said, I have some trans friends who don't like gender neutral pronouns in general. One in particular has explained how much she has gone through to be able to identify as a woman, and using "they" instead of "she" makes her feel like she still isn't a woman.
  
  So the real answer is there's no one word that will make everyone happy. They best way to do that is to ask people the pronouns they prefer.
- Yep, especially your mom, she's probably the best dude
- Hey !
In the words of Kel Mitchell:

I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, 'cause we're all dudes.
- I heard this comment
- Doooooooude
folks, y'all, youse

friends / friend

comrades / comrade
- folks, y'all, youse
  
  The redneck trifecta!
Earthlings is the only valid option
- Earthicans
  
  Earthletes.
- I prefer humanoids. One can never be too careful...
Folks or Everyone tend to be my go to.
"Guys" is gender neutral already...
- Yeah, as long as it's what's up guys. Used in a plural sense. If you say you're a guy or this is my tech guy, ehhh not fun.
- They asked for an option to it.
- Yet is isnt. Y'all however is.
  
  But y'all makes you sound like an idiot.
- Lol no it isn't. How many guys have you had sex with recently?
  
  How many groups have you had sex with lately? ಠ_ಠ
"What is up, my mammals?"
cousins

friends

y'all

neighbors

folks

party party people

fellow-travellers

and, of course

fam
- You forgot "comrades."
- cousins
  
  Step-cousins for extra pizzaz
Fellow Earthlings
- Or earthers if you are not from here.
for singular use boo works, and plural you can say "hey, fuckos"
English is sorely lacking a second person plural. Y'all fills that gap well and should be adopted over other regional suggestions such as the Jersey youse guys or the dreaded Philly... yinz.

I'd avoid using "dude" as I've heard this specifically as an example that bothered some women.

Y'all is great. I use it often in the North East and only one schmuck ever said anything about it.

Buddy works, but comes off kind of aggressive towards strangers, same with pal or pals, but that may be my own regional affectation showing off.
- "Buddy" elicits so many conflicting feelings in me.
- Yeah, I'm trying to avoid dude for that very reason. I just haven't found a suitable replacement for it yet.
Guys is 100% gender neutral.

Also, can't go wrong with the old standby "Stay Fresh, Cheesebags!"
- If you said “I brought some guys back to my place last night”, do you really think people would be imagining a mixed gender group? Do you think they would ever imagine you brought a group of women back with you when you said that? Guys is masculine sometimes used to generalize across a group that includes non-males. It only applies when at least one male is around.
  
  I would probably use gals in your specific example, but personally, I would use guys if addressing a group of girl friends, but that's just how I perceive the word. I guess once you add 'the' or 'some' behind guys, I perceive it as masculine, but it feels totally neutral to me in other contexts, such as "C'mon guys, let's go X!" or "Guys, check this out."
- can you explain how guys is gender neutral? or did i miss the /s?
  
  Probably because people have been using it since the 90s for either gender. Same with dude. I was in high school over a decade ago but back then I remember dude and guys being gender neutral, both guys and girls used it that way. Funnily enough this same conversation was happening back then too among my peers, and we all agreed it was already gender neutral at the time.
  
  Coming from a Midwestern state in US, guys, is a very common word. I would say GenX/Millennials use it most, can't speak for GenZ much, or Alpha as I never know what they are saying anyway.
Fellow bipedal meat-things.
You're asking about a collective and also a singular...

Just in general I'd say that if you're trying to quit a habit around trans women, go the extra mile and quit it around cis ones too. For the collective "hey guys" I have no one-word replacement ("folks/folx" sounds equally southern and somehow more cringe), but you could replace the whole phrase with "hey everybody", "hi gang", "how are you all", or just "hey".

When speaking to any woman, I would advise against calling them "dude" or "man." Full stop. No further thoughts necessary on that one.
- Just in general I'd say that if you're trying to quit a habit around trans women, go the extra mile and quit it around cis ones too.
  
  Sorry if it wasn't clear enough, I'm looking for general terms to use for all people, regardless of their gender, not just trans people.
  
  There have been some good examples for groups, but nothing that fits well for talking to one person directly.
  
  My personal recommendation is to drop the extra title entirely. For everybody.
  
  E.g. instead of saying "great work man" just say "great work." It could help you prevent flubs later.
  
  I do wish I knew some non-binary singular terms I could use, but none come to my mind
Is buddy really a problem?

I'd be more worried that someone thinks I'm treating them like a dog, than a man.
Dipshits
Fellow humans
- This is how you get a visit from humans at AARO https://www.aaro.mil
I bit the bullet and was the cringy person at work who said "peeps". After a few months of do this, it was amusing to see the word spread until my boss's boss started saying peeps in meetings.
Later Cheesebags!
- *Stay Fresh Cheese Bags
  
  That’s the one!
Greetings, Programs!
- …User!
"What's up everypony?"
Peeps

Note: You will sound like a tool if you say this.
- Sup, peepums.
My darlings, tell me everything.
Peeps
Buddy is masculine?
- Could be. Depends on a bunch of factors. But as a trans person I’ve never encountered someone who’s trans and feels that it’s masculine.
You could copy Scooby do and refer to the group of people as 'gang', 'team' works too
Comrade
Gang
I just omit the unnecessary words or use their name. That works OK, although I'm awful with names so usually it just becomes "Good job!" or "What's up?".

Funny story time: in English I find this is not so bad. In French it's worse. In Vietnamese it's awful. We have dozens of pronouns. They're not only mostly gendered, but contain information about their age and perceived status relative to you. It's a 3-dimensional matrix where the axes are approximately gender, age/hierarchy, and degree of relation (inlaws/blood relations/strangers). You even get a different word for yourself in some of these situations. Then sometimes there's a numerical rank inside each pronoun e.g. male uncle, my spouse's family, 3rd oldest.

The language is already at maximum pronoun burden. Honestly it would just be easier if we called each other 'human' or 'comrade' or 'citizen' or something equally encompassing. It's exhausting as a non-native speaker (and you are not ever allowed to use their names, that's considered super rude).
What's poppin primates‽‽‽
Guy:innen
- I loathe that I get this. Ugh...
- guy:ки
cumsplats
"Mate" is always a good option, I wish it's used more universally in the States, too.
My go-to is folks, but 1000 others have mentioned that already. So I will throw in "people".

"Hey people, how's it going?"

That works for me
"Gentels and Ladymen“
Peeps
"What's up dog turds?"

"How's it hanging, dingleberry?"

"Nice job, Captain Hazelwood!"

I do actually know someone who speaks like this.
Folks for groups and friend for individuals is my go to. Comrade if you want to be spicy
Friend
I've started using "hello chums"
- Chaphop increases
What's up carbon based earthlings.
dawg, home skillet, my glip glops, folks,
hydrogenated oil
- You can't say glip-glop! That's their word!
  
  it's really all about context
i find myself using "friend" a lot lately. dunno if that's a great replacement.
- I'm not your buddy, guy!
all friends everyone folks peeps team

If you're only addressing one person then it can be left off entirely.
Whenever there's any question, I usually open with "sup, dogs" in my most serious voice, then continue to deadpan refer to everyone as dog, such as "and you, dog, I need to check the grist mill, thank you dog". Fifteen years in and no complaints so far.
Bitch or bitches
- Come on, bitch is as gendered as dude and guys /s
It depends on who you’re talking to. Many people don’t care about saying “guys” as it’s so universal. However, if you’re unsure or meeting new people, that’s where you’d likely want to change it up.

Hey friends! (This can be used for strangers too) What’s happening my peeps? Hello everyone! Hope you both have a good weekend

Or just What’s up? Hiya! Hey [insert their name]
I sound even more southern than I am because I say "y'all" frequently to avoid gendered pronouns. People, you, and we are often good. I think my favorite is "you folks".
I like what they use on the Bananas Podcast. "Guys, gals, and non-binary pals."
Matey/mateys, scallywags
- As much as I so dearly love the word scallywag, it already has an extremely rigid place in my vocabulary as a cat-exclusive term.
Chooms
People here are not understanding that language changes with location
- Exactly. As great sounding as some of these suggestions are, if I were to call an acquaintance or a stranger cunt I would be crucified.
"YOU PEOPLE" 😂 I'm kidding
Potential litigants
I've found a lot of success using pal for the individual and folk for the group. Such as "Jesse is my pal", or "Hey folks."

....oh shit. Palworlds a thing now. Don't use pal.
Guys is probably the most neutral of the ones you mentioned.
Dude its OK for me because you Know, the dude.

Pacifist as fuck, its a good name then. I don't feel it like man, etc. Even the majority when using it don't think about lebowski.

If i name someone dude, there is more than "man" behind. But I'm maybe wrong ?

Edit : oh sorry realized plurials.

People fine for me, its just an habit to change really. Or hey guys and girls or better, hey girls and guys 😂

But as non English speaker I could use dude for the group, and a my lady for her, if there is an fellow trans with me. Not others ofc. Will check thé answers for real lol
- Dude isn't quite there yet. The phrase "I fuck dudes" has only one interpretation still.
  
  There are still lots of reasonable women who don't want to be called dude as it is still associated with masculine people.
  
  Mistake ive edited. Bad reading at first. I've respond imgining me self speaking to a dude of me. Not at a group. Individually, no way I call a miss "dude".
Mate Cunts Dickheads
Dude
- So I've seen this a lot, but I'm Gen-X and dude was always masculine to me. I support use of dude as gender-neutral, but it's hard for me to do it naturally because my brain is so locked into dude as gendered.
  
  Aerosmith ain't helping the situation.
  
  (Also - some of the recent comments on that video are annoyingly predictable swipes at current issues. You have been warned.)
  
  Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  
  Aerosmith ain't helping the situation.
  
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  
  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Earthling...Terran - I don't care how awkward it sounds. It's awkward for me to change might as well make it awkward for everyone.

Edit: just me being cranky... Normally I go out of my way to make people feel accepted.
- I support this
You could go with the classic Appalachia (Pittsburgh more specifically) … “Yinz”
- yinz is new to me, is it said with some kind of accent?
  
  No accent, it’s a derivation of the Scots-Irish “yous ones.” Here’s the Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yinz?wprov=sfti1#
I tend to use "folks" for my usual gender-neutral collective pronoun.

I don't think "dude" is a real issue, is it? Here in Australia, I'll happily use mate for any gender, and I often hear other genders do the same.

Of course, we also tend to unnecessarily shorten (or lengthen) people's names here, and those always get used:

Darren = Daz or Dazza

Josh = Josho

Dan = Danno or Danny-boy

Adam = Ads

[first name] Thompson = Tommo

[first name] Johnson - Jonno

Even our Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, is Albo. You get the idea... ;)
"Hello, losers"
Alley cats
You people
Remember, non binary ppl exist too! (in reference of "both genders")
- The term "fucker" covers all bases.
  
  But what about asexual people?
- Would all genders be a better way of phrasing that?
  
  Yep!
"Buddy" is gendered?
- Yep. It's a name for teen boys or for men that are significantly younger than the speaker. Typically said by men rather than women too.
  
  No one says "Hey buddy" to a teen girl, or to a woman a couple of decades younger than them
  
  Interesting, I use it pretty much interchangeably with "friend".
  
  I do
  
  I'm not no one. Buddy can be used for pretty much anyone. You're definitely right about it addressing younger people though.
- i only use buddy for dogs and puppies
"Hey, y'all."

And I'm not Southern. I get funny looks around Boston, but, I love "y'all".
- I live in the northwest and I use y'all and other people I know use y'all and nobody bats an eye. Nobody here says it with a drawl though, it's snappy.
gamer(s)
"Yous badly-aimed batches of ejaculate"?
chum

comrade
apes!
- Danger if you are white and speaking to folks who are not. Lots of history in that word, use carefully.
- Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  
  Come on you apes! Do you wanna live forever
  
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  
  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Pal, bud, friendo, sport, tiger, chief, boss.
Carbon-based life forms
- Meat bags
Everyone, you all, y'all
I just call everyone "man" and "dude", irrespective of gender/sex ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
All, team, friends, everyone, folks (preferably prefixed with “howdy”)…
It depends on the group and setting. I use folks and y'all a lot, but don't put a heavy southern drawl on it. Sometimes I say homies or party people. Really, in an unprofessional setting I try about anything I can that could be considered a term to group people. I jumped in a Discord call the other day with two of my buddies already in there and opened by referring to them as bromosexuals. I try to have fun with it but professionally, folks or everyone is what I use most.
Dude
- Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
  
  Dude
  
  Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
  
  I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.
I'm just going out on a limb to remind people it's totally ok to say sup man to legit anyone. People that care about that stuff are people you can choose to change it for if you want to be around that type of person.
lemmies
Youse fucking wallopers!
What I use is y'all or folks for plural, and dude for singular.
Dudes is fine - folks and yall also work. I use yall all the time even though I'm now in Canada and have never lived in the US south.

Guys, I think, is still a bit too gender associated but it's borderline. Man is often used in a gender neutral manner but it is very easy to misinterpret and a transwoman could reasonably assume you're trying to troll them.

You've also got fella and feller, I think the latter one is more gender neutral than the former.
I worked at a restaurant in Ohio in the early 2000s. Had a group of ladies come in once, probably in their 50s. Got super offended when I gave the standard "hi guys!" greeting. However, where I grew up, that had become a gender neutral greeting.

If you want to remove gendered pronouns entirely, "y'all" is what I would go with. I think the UK frequently uses "you lot", but that probably does not sound great to most in the US. I suppose "folks" is one that might work, but seems to rub some people the wrong way.
Is this bait?
- No, I am genuinely asking.
"What up, gangstas?"
Esteemed personages.
I typically go with something like, "howdy, folks".
Why are you trying to solve a problem that doesn't exist? Linguistics don't care about genders in biological sense.
The south is objectively better than the rest of the USA (from my experience as foreigner). Just go with y'all.

Also I use dude with my NB friend pretty habitually.
Both my partner and I use "dude" interchangeably for all genders. They're NB for context
amigo
Fellas

edit: please correct me if you believe I am wrong, I am open to discussion.
I feel like "guys" is definitely colloquially gender-neutral in most contexts.

"Fireman" is clearly a patriarchic term that literally has "man" in it. In English "firefighter" is commonplace nowadays, but in my native Finnish, a lot of professions have "man" in the term, much in the vein of "policeman", "ombudsman", the Finnish equivalent of "janitor", roughly translated directly as "building/house-man".

We've replaced loads. Most of them are good. Some new terms feel natural and get taken into use, but replacing "man" with "person" rarely works for us without feeling incredibly awkward to use.

So my point is that we can reclaim those terms as gender neutral. Context matters. N-word being acceptable among black people is completely acceptable (and actually a very nice tool for emphasis when properly utilised), and it's even in songs without anyone accusing the artists of racism. (Well, for pop songs at least, no racist hillbilly songs made it to that level.) That being said, it definitely doesn't take away from it's power as a slur if someone uses it in such a way.

So I suggest we'll just use "guys, bro, dudes" as gender neutral and rely that people will understand from context when they're actually used to address men/exclude women etc.

Also, isn't "buddy" sort of neutral already? *goes to check* OoooooOoOooooh, it's from "brother" originally. Guess it's not as neutral originally.

Well that's s new one for me.

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