Urinals should definitely exist because they speed things up a ton. If you're too shy to piss into a urinal just go to the shitter instead. But don't dare try to take the speed and convenience away from the rest of us, goddammit!
There are also flushness urinals which use zero fresh water, just a floating, replenishable barrier fluid. I want one at home.
Most I see these days are the flushless ones of one sort or other. Some of them have a bit of a smell but doesn't bother me since what do you expect, it's an urinal
Where else is my uncle going to tell me what should have happened at state if he got first string?
THANK YOU!
Do you think that you need to pull your pants all the way down and sit to use a toilet to pee, if not what are you doing in the stall that wastes a ton more time? It's not much slower from my experience just do it the way you would a urinal, with the only difference being that you have a door and real walls.
My trick for dealing with "blushing bladder" is a Palovian response on myself. I realized I had certain pee triggers. Long story short, there are certain places and situations that cause me to need to urinate. So I figured why not use a word as a trigger? While at home I began saying the trigger word just as I felt the flow begin. Every time I pee, I say the word. My blushing bladder went away. Some of the music venues i frequent have urinals literally elbow to elbow so it's awkward but there's no trouble when I say the trigger word. The only problem now is people look at me weird when I'm looking at my dick saying "shazam".
I do the same type of thing, but I just swish saliva around in my mouth. For some reason that gets my mind off it and next thing I know, I'm peeing.
Gomer, is that you?
Surprise, surprise, surprise!
I just push really hard and force the pee out like a fucking man.
Hey now that gives me an idea.. SHAZAM! SHAZAM! SHAZAM!
You gotta get up close and say it to his dick.
I read on reddit one time—years and years ago—that doing simple multiplication can help occupy the part of your brain keeping you from pissing. A sequence like 2x2=4, 4x4=16, 16x16=256...etc.
I've been doing that ever since, and it really helps. Usually by the time I get to doing 16x16 in my head, I'm already peeing.
This cartoon can't exist. Urinal etiquette requires:
That you should have one empty urinal between you and the next guy if at all possible. And always go to the nearest open urinal when you enter.
And that you look straight ahead and never look to either side of you. You must stare solely at the wall straight ahead of you. Thoughtful establishments hang pictures or current sales flyers at eye level to look at while peeing.
And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there. So there is absolutely no way this cartoon can happen in the real world.
if at all possible
I hate that I'm arguing the reality of a comic world, but we can't see the rest of the wall. We don't know if there's 2/3 urinals total, making it impossible to leave a buffer urinal between them.
Also, without considering it a "rule" I leave an empty urinal between as well, but I don't go as far as resorting to using a stall if I only have to pee. That's just silly...
A silly comic often leads to a silly discussion. Sometimes you just need to run with it. Or in the words-- Don't hate the playa, hate the game.
In fact we do know that there's someone else in the room - otherwise who is the old man talking to?
You're kidding yourself. The norm in American bars is to have two urinals whose porcelain touches, and everyone pees with their buddy while having a boisterous chat.
They are so close. It's actually better to put your arm around the guy next to you to make sure you're good and centered to the urinal.
You must spend a fair amount of time in bars to be so wise. Bars and even restaurants have limited floor space so they can often have just one urinal and you wait your turn. And I have never had anyone even try to talk to me in a bar or restaurant restroom. Why would they? We are there to drink and eat, not discuss philosophy.
Because everyone everywhere always follows etiquette without fail?
I cover big public board meetings as part of my job, and when I go on breaks, I tend to use the bathroom, because I am a person. Without fail, someone will come in and talk to me while I'm pissing. I don't personally care, I was in the Marines for a bit and they beat all of that out of you (i.e., a room with eight toilets and that's it, no walls, nothing, just eight toilets, four on each wall so you can face each other). Regardless though, I never walk in and talk to someone randomly, so it's strange to me that others do it to me. I guess I just look like a nice guy.
Jes it is an instinct, written into the Male DNA...
Dem's the rules.....Follow them or become the outcast.
And always go to the nearest open urinal when you enter.
I usually go to the one closest to the wall. It seems comfier
And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there.
I'm not stopping the chat with my bro just because I have a dick in my hand I'm pissing. I have shit to say
And most of all, you must never speak to anyone in there.
I'm not stopping the chat with my bro just because I have a dick in my hand I'm pissing. I have shit to say
I'd also like to say that some of the funniest things I've ever heard have been uttered by a random at a urinal.
I agree with all of this except the “always go to the nearest urinal.” I don’t think it matters which you go to as long as you follow the pattern that allows for the maximum number of urinals to be filled while leaving a one-urinal gap between you and the next person.
Let me explain:
🚽 = urinal, 🚹 = person peeing
You have the following setup:
🚽 | 🚽 | 🚽
Correct urinal to occupy:
🚹 | 🚽 | 🚽 OR 🚽 | 🚽 | 🚹
Incorrect:
🚽 | 🚹 | 🚽
Notice how the correct solution allows for a second urinal to be occupied while still maintaining the courtesy urinal between. The incorrect solution doesn’t.
There are plenty of dudes at the bars and ballgames who try to sneak a peak
Count the number of tiles in front of you, solve some math problems in your head, think about what to do next saturda- shit, some guy just moved next to me. Is he looking? Maybe I should pull out my phone and check lemmy. ...but then people will think I'm recording them piss, and the fact that I'm still not pissing will further justify their suspicions. Maybe I should just pretend to have a small coughing fit and that's why I can't pee. But then people will start looking, and maybe even worry I'll spray them accidentally. Oh the guy finished peeing. I'll just wait until he leaves the room then. Oh another guy just entered. Well, he doesn't know anything so I'll just pretend I finished peeing and hold it in for the rest of the day.
Look at the tiles and imagine the grout lines are an infinite grid of 1 ohm resistors. I wonder what the resistance is between two points a knight's move apart...dammit I've been standing here for hours again
This guy ohm's
I always look at the smallest distinct shape at the wall in front of me (spots mostly do the trick) and start imagine shapes in it, like looking at the clouds. The world around me then just zoom out and everything turns liquid. Don't even need drugs 😄 Though a couple of beers help immensly
The only solution that realiably has worked for years for me is to ignore the standing pee spots and just go the the pooper cabin and pee there. Done. Works every time. Sometimes it gets weird waiting for one to open when the standing pee spot is available but the alternative is worse.
Well. This comic certainly isn't making it easier.
Why are you reading comics at the urinal while you're trying to pee?
The movie 'Waiting' has a character whose entire arc is them trying to get over urinal anxiety while working one crazy shift at an Applebee's clone.
Early Ryan Reynolds. Some of the humor hasn't aged well, but it shines a light on the service industry for those that haven't worked in a kitchen/bar/restaurant.
I remember a movie called Caffeine from when I was a kid and one of the characters had a nervous bladder. One of his friends kept telling him it might be prostate cancer (while he was trying to pee) and it only made him more frustrated and nervous.
Later in the movie, someone is being mean to him and he just snaps and lies saying, "You know what? I've got cancer! So back off!"
"Waiting" is the most authentic movie about working in a restaurant as a waiter there ever was.
It's so true.
I lived in a house once that had a urinal and it was the best thing ever, especially for the first pee of the day. Normalize home urinals!
Use a urinal while wearing shorts and you'll change your opinion. I avoid them as much as I can preferring to sit, but sometimes that option is worse than the urinal..
Well, it doesn't work so well with morning wood, but at all other times I aim toward the bottom so the pee's hitting the back wall at less than about a 30° angle. I guess compared to sitting there's gonna be more splash back, but even with shorts I don't really notice anything. I'm sure it'd be different if you power blast the wall or base at 90°.
I just pee outside.
I sometimes think that maybe as a society we'd be better off relaxing nudity taboos or something.
I dunno even pets like dogs have to make eye contact with their owner while shitting to feel comfortable and they know nothing of our puritanical ways.
Most dogs view their humans as pack alphas, and in nature they feel vulnerable to attack while they're shitting. So they look to the alpha to see that they're safe. They don't so much want you to watch them as to look beyond and behind them so they can see your reaction if something starts approaching.
I upvoted, but mine's a sighthound and she don't care...
For me its the pressure of someone waiting to use it after me, especially when its a lot of people like a packed pub or break time at a show/live music/event etc.
The amount of times if have pretended to have finished, gone washed my hands a walk out only to wait 10mins to go try again...Only sometimes?
Totally agree. Or maybe there could be a little fig leaf dispenser by the urinals so all the shy guys can hide their junk from god whilst they micturate.
When I lived in Japan, I really appreciated how the women's public bathroom stalls often had this little button you could push to make a white noise sound.
So glad I got over that peeing in public anxiety eventually, though.
Why is this post full of people who are seemingly overtly defensive over the idea of urinals? Did I miss something? The comic is a joke. Every other poster here trying to make sure everyone knows they can and will always use a urinal. An ode of fragile masculinity.
Did I miss something?
Sounds like you missed the toilet OOOOOHHHHH
I'm here trying to understand what's wrong with urinals lmao
This reply makes me feel defensive and outraged.
It has nothing to do with fragile masculinity, and everything to do with the dysfunctional personalities of Lemmy users.
No disagreeing with the title or you have fragile masculinity!
If you don't like urinals, don't use them. If you say something shouldn't exist when many people prefer to use it over the other options, expect pushback, even if it's in a humorous context.
The comic feels like a joke here but the title feels like there's some serious sentiment behind it, even if it doesn't have any real intent to actually ban urinals.
Well I stand facing AWAY from the urinal and pee over my shoulder!
"I personally don't have a problem with urinals, I don't think they should be removed"
"FRAGILE MASCULINITY"
lol
I don't mind urinals. It just sucks when you have to double or triple up on them. Sharing with someone else just isn't fun
I agree with that, it's not the urinals that are the problem it's people standing next to each other to pee. Something that wouldn't even happen if you were pissing outside on a tree or behind some bushes.
You may be joking, but the ones that are just a trough with no barriers at all between them I always hated. I don't want my shoulders touching 1 or 2 other guys while holding my dick in my hand trying to convince myself I am not to nervous to pee.
They were common in country themed bars for a while, I would have to be drunk and NEEDing to pee to be able to go. So usually I just stopped going to those places.
A club popular with 18-year olds in my city had the most effective piss-room I've ever seen. Troughs on three full walls and they were always busy. You'd wait for 1 second and then get a spot where you could squeeze in, shoulder to shoulder with other guys. You'd feel the steam rising up and washing past your face. 10 seconds later, you stepped out and another guy would instantly take your place.
It was incredible. I've never seen such efficiency anywhere else.
This hits me deep. I will often walk into a bathroom and walk right out if I see too many people. I'll either find a quieter bathroom or just hold it because it's physically impossible for me to pee if I can sense anybody within close proximity. Sadly, that applies to stalls too.
Something I've been doing as a kid is just counting slowly. I don't know if it's distracting to be thinking of counting or what but usually by the time I get to like 8-10 I'll start going. That and no one wants to stand next to someone just randomly counting. Lol I don't really do it out loud, I do count in my head and it seems to work.
Kind of a double edge though because if I get to 20 I start thinking like the comic lol
Lol when holding it is not an option, I'll try singing the ABCs in my head and similarly when I get to Z and have to repeat it is when I start to panic.
Just don't shake it more than twice while its in your hand and the police needn't be involved
I don't understand why they don't just install partitions. One that goes from the very bottom to the very top. A thin plank would do it. Not these 50cm pseudo partitions. That's why I prefer to use a cabin when a lot of people are peeing.
Come to our uni. Each toilets at our faculty have the first cabin be a urinal for some reason. Real nice if you a re a shy pisser.
Snowflake. Need more urinal troughs and communal showers.
The first time I took a communal shower was one of the most socially awkward moments of my life. Feeling like, "Oh god, they're staring at me." But they actually were staring at me because I was the only white person there. Got over it quickly, though.
no, not partitions. Urinal booths. I want to be isolated from other men when I have my dick out.
Well...I have paruresis and it was a struggle when I used to go to nightclubs and use the urinals, for some reason there was always only one toilet and a bunch of urinals, so I had to get drunk fast to be able to use the urinals like a normal guy. Most of the time the bathroom door didn't have a lock, so I'm glad I never had to do number 2 there.
You do know it's not a requirement to use the urinal, they also have private pee booths as well.
Us normal pissers also listen to the booths when we suspect a weener-holder.
That's why I act like I'm pooping. I'll sit down and make grunt noises while aiming my piss at the side of the bowl so no one hears I'm actually peeing. Because that's less embarrassing than knowing you all think I'm too afraid to piss in front of you. I even pull toilet paper out and wipe it on my thigh so all you actual Weiner holders believe I'm wiping my ass. Who's the fool now? Not only was I too afraid to pee in front of you, I convinced you I was taking a manly shit while you probably nodded in approval at the other Weiner holders next to you. Check mate.
That's why randomly drop change into the bowl to make people think I'm doing a twozy.
Yeah if you want to wait a lot longer
Nothing comes free
That's where they get ya
Legend has it that alpha males stand in front of each other when they pee, looking straight into each other's eyes and sometimes arm wrestling with their free hand.
I've pissed into these at student events. Everyone was just chatting while pissing and having a good time, it was weird but also pretty great. It also made things really fast for men, women lined up up to 20 minutes.
That's pretty thoughtful to put drink dispensers next to portapotty's.
I need both hands to control my alpha male fire hose. The girth of my manly urethra is enough to fit an average penis. I can empty my bladder in 3 seconds, but it is an intense 3 seconds. You'll be damned sure I'm staring you straight in the eye from across our opposed urinals as I do. And I expect a small kiss, out of respect, before I leave.
I've definitely stood next to guys who pee in about 3 seconds, sounding like a gosh darned race horse, while I'm stuck there for 3 minutes. Gosh darn it!
The only evidence of the "grand gay conspiracy" people keep talking about is the existence of bath-tub (multi-user) urinals.
I haven't seen one of those since I was a kid when my redneck racist homophobic dad would drag us to the dirt track to watch other drunk rednecks race each other in their first track cars... Hang on...
Yea nah, that is not a sexy situation.
It's very sexual. All that pee in the trough where you can dip your bread. It's very elegant, very European https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soupeur
I would have thought trough over tub... but i guess that depends entirely on the type of multi-user you're going for...
Basically my nightmare.
What was the movie/show where there's a bunch of urinals and a guy comes in and stands right next to the only guy there, and the guy already there moves over (peeing on the guy's leg as he does) to get to one that's a space away?
I'm glad I never had the shy bladder thing.
"Nice watch"
I've never used a urinal. it's weird and also some of them are disgusting, they almost guarantee splashback
edit: are, not ate
If you're eating at a urinal you're doing something wrong
What are you talking about. They even have that cake there for you to eat while you pee.
lol
"Nice watch!"
This would be more realistic for me is the guy next to me had to squint
Is there a rule that men can't go into a stall and pee?
I’m a stealth trans man and use a stall. No one gives a shit. I’ve had “I have a medical condition and need a stall” prepped for years, but never has anyone even gave me a passing glance. It’s annoying to wait when I’m about to piss myself and someone is camping in the lone stall, but the only real rule of the men’s bathroom is “don’t acknowledge anyone’s presence.”
No, maybe, I don't know, if there is it's unspoken and unenforced because I've been doing it for years and no one ever complained to me.
Some people think they're saving a bunch of time by using a urinal over a toilet but honestly it's 5-6 seconds at most if you use it the same as you would a urinal, no sitting down, no pulling your pants all the way down, etc.
There's a concept of a "shy guy" that isn't "confident enough" to pee comfortably at a urinal so it's not so much that you can't pee in a stall, it's that for those that are already concerned about the issue in the comic they'd be concerned about being thought of as a "shy guy" too.
I feel this comic so much that of all the things I've seen on the internet this really got a good laugh out of me. I know no one really cares about you peeing, but there's a part of me that thinks kind of like what is displayed here.
For me it was if there wasn't barricades I knew kids that used to try to slap their friends in the nuts while while they were peeing. Needless to say it only ends in more messes and needing to find new friend groups.
I said. I can't HEAR YOU PISS!
Too real, too real.
Yes this is way to real.
i don't understand urinals, i just pee in the toilet like i would in my own bathroom
Lmao, of course there's a relevant SNL
I can’t get the ur-eye-nal pronunciation from disco elysium out of my head
Whoever drew this, had never gone to an urinal in his life
Oh my god, they've died???
Do people really struggle this much to urinate? It seems crazy to not be able perform a basic bodily function like this. I honestly had no idea. Though, I do question why one of these two isn't following basic urinal etiquette. One stall between, otherwise use a toilet, otherwise wash your hands first and then, if no one has moved, you're allowed to ride side saddle.
Some dude used a urinal right next to me with five urinals available, and I stared at him until I finished. He never looked at me. Come to think of it, I don't know if he started peeing until I was done, but that seems like an edge case. His fault though.
Edit: wow, given the quick downvotes, it looks like it's more common than I thought here on Lemmy, and it appears I touched a nerve! Lol
I'm going to start bringing a stopwatch into the bathroom and very obviously start it when someone sidles up to the urinal. 😆
It's not a choice. It's like some primal instinct or something.
Edit: urinals don't typically bother me but if you try to talk I'm done. Can't do the troughs. It's not insecurity it's just a little privacy and peace is nice.
I don't know what age you are, but if you're too young not to have known, some people have medical conditions that make them struggle to pee.
I don't think this is medical conditions. I think it's just people shy about urinating. I just didn't realize how common it was.
Questioning is also not allowed.
Lemmy is a silly place.
It's proving to be Reddit without the random intellectuals.
Also never had an issue with urinals. I can also talk to others while peeing. But I'm also used to be nude at the sauna. If there's sufficient urinals available I keep at least one free but if someone stands next to me, I don't care.
stopwatch
Try it at home, too. It takes 21 seconds to pee. It's freakishly accurate throughout the animal Kingdom. My theory on shy bladder is that our brains know how long it takes, so when we take a while to start, everything compiles and we get nervouser and nervouser as we approach that 21 second limit.
I just use the stalls, but that's mainly because I'm self conscious about my peeper, and I've seen enough cruising in the men's room porn to be worried about Looky loos /s
While I've said no one is paying attention to you if you're not peeing -- and I think it's largely true, I've never really noticed if someone doesn't start peeing; I guess I would just assume they were stealth peeing against the side of the urinal -- I have to admit I do notice those old guys that stand there for like five minutes leaking it out a spurt at a time. They seem to defy the 21 second rule.
