Putin’s much-feared ‘Satan 2’ nuclear missile failed 4 out of 5 tests
Putin’s much-feared ‘Satan 2’ nuclear missile failed 4 out of 5 tests
High-resolution satellite images of the launch pad at Russia's Plesetsk test site, where the RS-28 Sarmat ballistic missile exploded shows extensive damage.
Russian President Vladimir Putin has suffered an emabarassing setback as his feared Satan 2 nuclear arsenal failed four out of five missile tests, according to arms experts and satellite imagery from the launch site.
High-resolution satellite images of the launch pad at Russia's Plesetsk test site, where the RS-28 Sarmat intercontinental ballistic missile exploded, shows extensive damage.
A crater approximately 60 meters wide at the launch silo at the Plesetsk Cosmodrome in northern Russia, along with visible damage in the surrounding area that was not present in images taken earlier in the month.
I’m sorry the hwhat?!
I know that a nuke would literally create a hell on earth but there’s no way you can name the fucking thing Satan and not be the bad guy.
They didn't. They named it "Sarmat".
NATO also had reporting names for Soviet weapons. IIRC surface-to-surface missiles start with "S". A few are rather...less-than complimentary, "Satan" -- the name used for the weapon that this replaces -- probably being the most so.
This missile doesn't have the reporting name "Satan 2" for NATO, though. The only link it has with the original surface-to-surface missile with the NATO reporting name "Satan" is that it's supposed to replace it and so Western media, which very much enjoyed mentioning "Satan" wherever possible, dubbed the new missile "Satan 2". But it's not an official name with NATO or Russia, just something that the media uses for the clicks.
The original missile:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R-36_(missile)#R-36M
The new one:
Sounds like NATO should name it “Stupid”
But really we should name all nuclear weapons Stupid anyway.
The Kremlin is probably happy to hear it called Satan. They're getting desperate and empty threats of global nuclear war are one of the only cards they have left.
Extremely angry at my military for naming it's unlimited genocide machine "Big Evil Monster" rather than "Widdle Fuzzy Bunny Wabbit".
Almost don't even want them to use it anymore.
You should work for the Royal Navy.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Dainty_(H53)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Tickler
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Cockchafer_(1915)
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flower-class_corvette
Just to name a few.
That's why he named it Satan 2.
Everyone said I was daft to build missile in Russia, but I built it all the same, just to show them. It blew up on the launchpad. So I built a second one. That blew up on the launchpad. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then blew up on the launchpad. But the fourth one stayed airborne! And that's what you're going to get lad, the stupidest named missile in all of Russia
What, the [Iron] Curtains?
I wonder how China feels having a North Korea on both sides of its country.
Meh, ij mnay ways China IS north Korea, I doubt they have issues with it.
its north koreas all the way down?
Hey, north Korea’s nuclear missiles work
Who would have thought that simply robbing an entire nation and giving all the proceeds to your corrupt friends would lead to an inability to manufacture practically everything? TIL
And I bet the ones who had an issue with corruption tended to be more competent than those who were ok with it, biasing those who sent to gulags or slipped out of open windows towards those who could compensate for the corruption.
Front fell off
hopefully it gets towed outside the environment. before it removes the environment.
No more cardboard derivatives.
Try to copy Ukrainian missile from 58 years ago
Fail
Second greatest military in the world!
Try to copy Ukrainian missile from 58 years ago
When both Russia and Ukraine were part of the USSR?
Second greatest military in the world!
The USSR hasn't existed for >30 years, since then, Ukraine and Russia have done little but feed on its corpse. Does anyone honestly think modern Russia has a better military than China?
Ever consider rooting for a team that isn't fascist?
It can be great fun, trust me.
Really hard to adhere to quality if money is being pocketed at every corner and then spend outside the hellhole you created.
I'm sorry, the what missile? I know there's already "hellfire" missiles, but proclaiming a sequel to Lucifer Morningstar seems a bit silly.
ok slightly unrelated but the satellite pictures have an insane resolution for having been taken from, you know, space
Just imagine what the government has if that's what's available commercially to the public
We know from Trump's heedless shitposting that they can get the theoretical maximum resolution out of whatever aperture they have. For the US ones with the Hubble-clone mirrors that means not quite enough to recognise a face.
The heedless shitposting for those who don't remember: https://www.npr.org/2022/11/18/1137474748/trump-tweeted-an-image-from-a-spy-satellite-declassified-document-shows
for one thing, it's mostly just lensing, and for another, it's also partially due to the atmosphere of the earth actually working in tandem with the lensing of the satellites themselves. Dont ask me how it works but from what i understand, seeing out from earth is harder, but seeing in from space is easy. Something to do with the way that light refraction in the atmosphere works or something.
the weirdest thing about telescopes (essentially what these are), is that you can just put a hole in them, and they'll still work just fine. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harlan_J._Smith_Telescope#Vandalism_damage
i imagine a bit of that is a software trick
Article including the satellite imagery of the site where the RS-28 Sarmat missile exploded:
It only needs to work once.
Not so sure. What if these 4/5 nukes explode on the launch pad? Even if this is in a remote area you'll cause some damage to your own country.
Yeah, this is the wildest headline. "Don't fear it, it only works 20% of the time!" Both the US and Russia have somewhere around 1700 known deployed nuclear warheads able to be launched from air, land, and sea. 20% is still 340 nuclear bombs, all of which are substantially larger than the ones dropped in Japan.
The fucking audacity to downplay nuclear war.
Putin, the limpest dick in Russia.
Satan 2? What is this high school missile competition?
Almost. It's NATO propaganda.
I'm always curious about anti-NATO people. What is it about NATO that you don't like? I'm not very familiar with exactly what they do, but my understanding is that they are a defensive organization. They wouldn't exist if it weren't for Russia's expansionist goals.
Maybe I'm misinformed. Why the NATO hate?
Calling something that's not good to have delivered to you after a figurative evil being.. yea buddy that sure is some propaganda.
You act as if the actual 'weapon' is designed to re-seed old growth forests and clean aquifers instead of vaporize a sizable chunk of people/buildings.
is russia testing nuclear arms again?
US tested a Minuteman III missile out of Vandenberg earlier this year. It was not carrying a nuclear payload. It's fairly common for countries to test missiles. Some countries broadcast their intent publicly so as not to accidentally trigger a retaliatory launch. Others don't broadcast publicly, but they do communicate via the good-old-boy net for the same reason.
Hey Russia, we're launching a nuke missle with the nuke removed in your direction. Just testing we swear!
This may be off topic, but I absolutely loved reading about Minuteman III guidance system.
And unlike all those "missiles by subscription and good behavior" that many big countries sell to smaller countries, it doesn't rely on any satellite system or external corrections after launch.
BTW, I wonder what's inside Russian ICBMs. People often say that all the Russian big cool projects in defense after breakup of the USSR are just finished Soviet projects. If that is true, there must be an awfully complex, but geek-porn-ish thing inside, possibly with analog and maybe even mechanical elements. If that is not, it's still interesting. Right now yes, Russian military engineering relies on many foreign (NATO countries produced in fact) components. But that didn't become a thing immediately, so I wonder how did they solve problems.
Thanks Satan
But it passed one, huge success
The question is, did it pass the first one or the last one
No one wants to be at the receiving end of the Russian roulette.
That’s one to few failed tests
How many L's is this man giving himself?
why don't they just copy-paste the soyuz?
That's not an ICBM
it's a modified R7 ICBM.
Yeah, real scared.
I heard the success one got 35 kilometres, anyone can confirm?
for a ballistic missile 35 km is pretty ass. I think even ATACMs gets pretty close to this, upwards of like (edit 300km, i think i'm thinking of gmlrs lol) And that's just a missile.
Ballistic missiles should really be able to go intercontinental, that was kind of the point of them.
for a ballistic missile 35 km is pretty ass.
Extremely ass.
Howitzers can shoot like 30km.
edit this cannon can do 41 km https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/155_GH_52_APU
edit2 we in Finland have like 700 howitzers and 56 of those linked cannons, plus tons of heavy mortars etc etc
How many kilometers is one stick of dynamite? By one stick, I mean like the size of a soda's height with a diameter equal or Greater than an A in chemistry. The internal composition being 37.3 grains and the .3 grain was cut and licked properly....so yeah, how many kilometers would that be?
sadtrumpet.wav
And I thought RS-32 was old!
That's a Russian clean sweep! Get out the smuggled Champaign.
Pls better source
They could ask help from their north Korean buddies
The good thing is that Cern will sending them a bunch of great scientists soon. They should figure out how to make the other failures go!
Right? Or in the US not smart enough to go get all those scientists and give them a grant each to go save the south African penguin?
What
Last time, they invented modern rocketry and turbojets. So, you know, can't let that happen.
They already invented it before, ahem, "leaving" though.
It can carry multiple warheads, including nuclear ones, with estimates suggesting it can deliver up to 10–15 independently targetable reentry vehicles (MIRVs).
Oh good, if only one single missile in Russia's entire arsenal goes off, we'd only loose 10-15 cities.
MIRVs have been a thing for like 50 years.
The US even took them out of submarine launched missiles, because they made the soviets so nervous we had to promise that we couldn’t delete half of their country in 15 minutes.
But don’t worry, nuclear war happens so fast, and diplomatic channels are so slow, if anyone launches anything, everyone is practically forced to launch everything or risk losing it. So even if Russia did just launch one to destroy 10-15 cities, all of the cities everywhere would be destroyed anyway.
The only winning move is not to play
I would hope that cooler heads prevail, as they have before.
This is the most famous one but I believe there was also one by NORAD in the 60s https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1983_Soviet_nuclear_false_alarm_incident
☝️
Just more empty sabre rattling from the Kremlin
Ah yes, the moral military, the anti nazi military, the apparent good guys, according to tankies, use a weapon called the fucking SATAN
RS-28 Sarmat is the russian name, satan is what nato nicknamed it.
Well, you can't pin that on Russia though. Their name for it is "Сармат". (Samaritan). The name Satan 2 comes from the predecessor R-36 missile, NATO nickname "SS-18 Satan".
Newsweek - News Source Context (Click to view Full Report)
Information for Newsweek:
MBFC: Right-Center - Credibility: High - Factual Reporting: Mostly Factual - United States of America
Wikipedia about this sourceSearch topics on Ground.News
https://www.newsweek.com/putin-russia-ukraine-nuclear-missile-1957836
Nobody would care if NATO hadn't named this thing Satan. Propaganda works.