When a friend of mine was a little kid, someone drove past, jumped out of their car, and ran over and grabbed him trying to kidnap him.
He was just confused about what the guy was even doing, but grabbed onto a chain-link fence and wouldn't let go, so the guy was yanking him and yelling at him to let go, but he was able to hold on. Eventually the guy gave up and ran back and sped away. While he was being yanked on the fence, he was worried because the ball he'd been playing with was rolling down the hill, and he was worried it would go somewhere he wouldn't be able to find it and he would lose his ball.
When the guy left, he went and retrieved his ball, psyched that he was able to get it back. He thought no more about it and kept playing, and then later that day told his mom about what happened.
She lost her mind. For some reason, he thought she had also been worried about the ball, and he kept telling her he'd been able to get it back after, so it was all good.
Was his parents separated? Most likely it would be dad with a restraining order or some other family trying to "get him back".
When I was 13 I helped the local burnout mow lawns. He was late 20's and hung out with us teenagers from the same block. Got us weed, bought us beer. The 16yo guys I looked up to were friends (?) with him, he'd hang in the backyard fort of the lead 16yo, and he basically ran the local lawn mowing cartel of all us kids. I wanted money and it was easy and fun, hangin' with the boys. We shoveled walks in the winter.
One snowstorm morning he wasn't at the fort where we'd meet so I volunteered to run across the street to his house. Knock. Knock loud. Try the door, he didn't mind if we came in his basement entrance to his parent's house. It's dark, light on in the bathroom. 13yo me saw his first dead body that day; full bathtub with slit wrists and neck.
E: oh, reason for suicide seemed to be that he had a DUI wreck a couple months prior where a young girl (like 7 or 8) didn't die but wouldn't ever be the same... like couldn't walk or brain damage or something. He couldn't handle what he did, I guess.
Damn. You understood the assignment. Also, I was sure that story was going somewhere else horrifying.
What is a DUI wreck? Car accident and fleeing?
Driving under the influence [of alcohol or other] and crashing I believe
Driving under the influence. He was drunk and hit someone's car. I don't think there was any fleeing involved, he had broken bones and shit. Spent time in jail and was waiting on his trial out on bond.
I spent a year as a videographer for a local news station. Do not work such jobs if you don't want to see dead bodies because, as I found out, you're literally an ambulance chaser. One of the many reasons I only worked there for a year. And probably why I am now too squeamish to watch gory movies.
I'm just glad I've never seen anyone actually die. At least not yet.
When I was a kid (18?), one night a friend of my friend called us to come give this drunken girl a ride. They said they were at a party and the guy took some time to babysit her and take her home but he couldn't handle her anymore.
We went and picked her up and were going to take her wherever in the area she wanted to go as a solid for this guy. She got in the car and started berating us and trying to turn up the volume and complaining about the music. She said she had sucked dick and whatever other mess and wasn't going to put up with our shit this evening. She was much more intoxicated than I thought she would be. She requested to be taken to her car and she started giving us directions. She said she was going to sleep it off in the car so her parents wouldn't know. We planned to take her keys and come back later or something. We were honestly blindsided by how ridiculous everything got so quickly.
Turns out her car was parked at a local recycling center or something and when we pulled in there, there was a brand new Cadillac, lights came on car started. She said it was probably her grandpa. We let her out and started driving away so that they could figure it out, we wanted to be done. Grandpa didn't even stop to let her in the car or get her in her own car or anything. He immediately started following us. He tailgated us all the way down the highway back to my friend's house with his brights on. We drove normally but tried to concoct a plan. We pulled up the driveway at my friend's place about 15 minutes later and he stops short a few car lengths into the driveway.
I kind of lost it at that point and walked down the driveway to ask him what the hell he was thinking and he steps out of the car standing behind the driver side door. As I come up to him to give him a piece of my mind he raises his hands and he has a pistol pointed right at me. I guess being young and full of adrenaline I absolutely went off on him yelling what the hell did he think he was doing pulling a gun on this we were just trying to give his granddaughter a ride we didn't even really know her. I mean I got right up in his face. I can't believe I did that in retrospect, I would never do that now. After I yelled at him he dropped his hands and looked confused. Said "What was I supposed to do?" I'll never forget those words.He quickly got in his car and started to turn around. I tried to block his car so I could call the police but as I started to get on the phone he punched it and ran over my foot. Thankfully I moved to just enough to the side that it didn't really do anything. Cops showed up later and the officer stood around for a while talking to us and getting statements. He said that we have to go down to the magistrate downtown to do anything about this.
We went there and the magistrate asked us a bunch of the same questions. He did some paperwork stuff and essentially concluded that the guy who pulled a gun on me had already come by and filed a report that we were threatening him and that the two conflicting statements would cancel each other out - nothing would happen to either of us. Come to find out later on that the man who pulled a gun on me was a retired police chief from the area, very well known, who owned a local car wash. He had a sketchy past and I guess this was just another day in the life of a police officer abusing power.
I look back and think what the hell was that girl doing? Was she actually being taking advantage of? Did the friend of a friend know that would happen so he set us up to take the fall for it? Was he the abuser? Was she just being sloppy and shitty and he didn't want to get in trouble? How in the world did those things cancel each other out especially with no investigation into it. They couldn't have. I'll never forget that. I never talked to that idiot friend of a friend again and I never saw police officers the same either.
I'm aware your questions are rhetorical, but I'm going to answer them anyway. Your questions are just so spot on.
Was she actually being taking advantage of?
80/20
Did the friend of a friend know that would happen so he set us up to take the fall for it?
Maybe. It doesn't have to be that Machiavellian. Maybe he didn't know what to do and was just looking for an out. Not an excuse. Could be similar feelings whether he's the abuser or relatively innocent.
How in the world did those things cancel each other out especially with no investigation into it.
Cops don't like paperwork. Paperwork can mean accountability. If nothing's written, they can't get lectured for doing it wrong.
I half expected this to end with jumper cables. Quite a ride, though.
Nothing personal, kid. Alternator’s out.
Not ever having closure for shit like this is ridiculously frustrating. This drunk lady came to my door once and lied that she was a friend of a friend but she was really upset and may possibly have been hit by her boyfriend because she had a big red mark on her cheek and started crying about him. So I had her call her mother to pick her up. Then my wife came home and we hid in the bedroom with the door closed while she and her mom had a huge yelling match about the boyfriend. Eventually they left and we never saw or heard from them again.
You'd think they would have at least left a thank you note.
I'm, in fact, not a horse. I only pretend to be one on the Internet.
Nice try Ed.
Wow. How fucking dare you? I trusted you.
This is America, 1971
I happen to own this shirt and have worn it to a couple of IRL meetups:
Because you're a jackass? rimshot
I have scars around and on my genitals. When I was young my mom told me that I had surgery just after I was born. Now as an adult, I think I may have been born with some sort of intersex condition but I am afraid to talk to my parents about it.
I...what the fuck! Exact same with me, and I've always kinda felt like I'm stuck between sexes.
I just never thought about this possibility...Might want to get hormonal blood work done. Are you female? You could have androgen insensitivity syndrome or something.
If your an adult you should be able to get your medical records. This is a pain in the ass with lots of hoops to jump through but you own the data.
Probably not, from someone who worked in pediatric urology and endocrinology. They don't tend to do surgery until you are older because you need to be old enough to determine what your gender identity is very clearly, which is not clear sometimes with intersex conditions. It's a really bad decision to make too early. Probably what you had was an undescended testicle or hydrocele or something.
They don’t tend to do surgery until you are older
Yeah, today. But not 40 years ago.
That was a really hard won battle for the intersex community. I'm 30 and if my intersex condition had been caught at birth (it was very minor and hidden by foreskin), I'm pretty sure they'd've moved from pressuring my mom to circumcise to pressuring her to "fix" it.
I (aurally) witnessed a kindergartener get run over by her school bus. I was on a different bus and our bus drivers were talking over the radio, then there was this ungodly wailing from the other bus. The other bus driver just kept screaming "I killed her, I killed her".
Turns out the little girl barely missed the bus, ran alongside it to catch up, tripped, and fell under the wheels of the bus.
Once we got to high school, students on the killing bus were offered counseling. I, not being on the killing bus, didn't talk to anyone about it until I went to therapy decades later.
Yellow school buses freak me out still, for that and abuse reasons.
I can't own a gun because the call of the void is too strong.
Same.
The only reason I’m alive is because I can’t make my kids go through losing a parent that way.
Samesies. Those darn intrusive thoughts!
I witnessed a fatal lathe accident. The kind that would have easily been featured in rotten.com back in the day. They shut the whole shop down and noone worked for a month. It was awful.
Yikes, remember kids no loose items near the violently spinning things.
I used to be a plumber and spent a lot of time running a pipe threader all I ever thought about while using it was if I mess up this thing will force my body through a 5 in gap.
if i mess up, this thing will force my body through a 5 in. gap.
I've never worked with a lathe, but PTOs on the farm were terrifying. I was taught to be afraid, and I was.
Not "Russian lathe incident"? Sounds like it might potentially be identical if it's not that one.
Nah, I'm in the US. And, honestly (this is painful to recall) it wasn't an arm stretched around the lathe chuck. It was mostly red mist that left some organs around. This was on a large machine that had a 30 foot long bed, and around 90 HP to drive it. The guy was trying to turn down a cam shaft for a ship at about 100 rpm. The forces involved are insane. He kind of... disappeared.
Lathes are fucking scary man. Sorry you had to see that.
We were shown videos during my apprenticeship and that was already horrible. I don't want to imagine what it's like to see it live.
My dad threatened to kidnap me and an... Uncle, i think, held me at gun point when i was a baby. I had a surprisingly violent childhood, don't remember any of it tho. Not many other 'scary ' or unsettling facts i can think of I'm afraid, if those even count.
One of my oldest and dearest friends was born in Indiana, but his Mexican dad literally kidnapped him after he divorced my friend's mom and took him to Mexico city where he stayed for 5 or 6 years. There was a full FBI search and everything. And he told me he recently found out that an uncle of his knew where he was, but couldn't tell his mom because his uncle was a CIA informant and it would help blow his cover.
This is not someone who is prone to lies or exaggeration. I 100% believe him about the CIA part and I know the Mexico City part is true.
Probably not as interesting, but I was woken up as a kid (teen?) by my mom screaming and running into my room/in my bed. Woke up to see my dad standing in the doorway with a steak knife. She had asked him to go to rehab. That was it. We're good though 🤙🏾
I was very close to either dying or having permanent brain damage due to a stun grenade in a protest in my country. While being a completely unarmed, non-violent and basically running away/hiding protestor.
I was with a friend and a bunch of people outside our campus. Everything was peaceful and then, out of nowhere things got bad, with stun grenades and tear gas everywhere. We were used to it, but that time the tear gas was so bad that the neutralizer we brought was doing nothing. We took cover with a wall (bad idea, but we were panicking badly), and I wasn't able to breath, so I wanted us to run away from there. I told my friend to let's just run certain way, and I was so full of adrenaline and ready to run, but he stopped me. 1 second later, a stun grenade fell from the sky just 1 m away of us, in the direction I wanted us to run; no doubt it would have hit me in the head.
After that I just took his hand and we ran away, not able to see nor breath. Me holding his hand was a huge saver for both of us, as we could, more or less, guide each other. We ran some 20-30 m and just fell to the ground, but in a somewhat safe place. We crawled some 10 m more and just rest there. It took us some solid 15 minutes to catch our breath. Never said a word to my family about the whole incident.
Fun times.
Since I most likely won't out live my wife, and she doesn't want to live without me, we have agreed on a murder/suicide when we are getting up there
✔️ Scary
✔️ Unsettling
Dunno. I kinda think this is ok. They’re not cutting their lives short per se, it’s seems like a situation where they know their (or one individual’s) quality of life is going to be bad, so they’re doing a mutual suicide. Grown adults should have this choice. I think the only bad thing would be if one partner were reasonably healthy and felt obligated or pressured into it even if they didn’t really want to.
Well I don't love hearing it, but I respect your choice. I just hope you do it somewhere easy to clean up. Put some plastic sheeting down.
And they say love is dead.
Once put one of those plastic wrapped potatoes in my uniform apron to put back in produce at my first retail job (got abandoned in the mac and cheese section). I then completely forgot and took it home. Took it out of my apron and put it on my desk next to my car keys because "I'll remember to take it back". I did not. Lived with me for a week or something when I finally put it in my apron again because I wasn't remembering. I took it to work. I completely forgot about it and never returned it. It made this trip several times. I put it back on my desk because this wasn't working out, surely I'll remember if I see it.
Then I forgot about it for like three months. One day I look over at my desk and it's a shriveled potato with a new potato growing from its own husk...
In essence, potatoes are amazing and horrifying. Just like my short term memory lol.
Then you plant the potato, determined to pay it back with interest. Months later, you harvest 5 potatoes that make it back to work but end up forgotten and back at home again. You even remember them at work frequently, but never when you're in the right section of the store.
You do remember to plant them the next year though. The first year, you just put them in a pot in your back yard, this year they get a small dedicated place in the ground. The 5 potatoes turn into 34 and no longer all fit in your apron pockets. But you do remember to return the 4 you have on you one day at work, and then forget to grab more before the other 30 are all sprouting the next year.
So the potato garden gets bigger year 3. You build a small shed to store the couple hundred you harvest. You're getting good at growing potatoes.
You eat one, not because you think you deserve it, but to make sure the potatoes you still want to return to the produce section are up to the high standards your employer's customers expect.
It's pretty good.
No, not just good. Your potato is amazing, the best you've ever tried. Wait, no, your work's potato is the best you've ever tried. You vow to repay that potato, hardening your resolve. You bring a whole bag in on your next day.
It only takes you three days to remember to drop off the bag of potatoes with the others (after a colleague asks about the bulge on your back where you were carrying them under your shirt). But then you realize with horror that the colour of the bag you made doesn't match the others. They are beige while yours is a bright beige. You return home that day with your bag plus a work bag, just so you can match the colour properly.
It takes you two more years to finally master the potato bag making craft. It wasn't just the colour that was off, you also had to match the font and placement of the text and then noticed that your stitching holding the bag closed was pretty different.
Your potato garden had taken over your entire back yard by then and you knew with dread that you wouldn't have enough space to plant them all next season. But your neighbour lets you use some of their 50 acres in return for two potatoes a day. You feel a bit guilty because they aren't your potatoes, but you justify it because it's an investment.
You don't forget about returning potatoes at work anymore. You can't forget. Potatoes have all but taken over your life at this point. You bring in a bag and fill your pockets with them each day and take each chance you can get to casually pass through the produce section and leave some potatoes without anyone noticing (which is difficult because you'd been promoted to the deli counter).
You've grown strong from getting used to carrying a bag of potatoes while still walking normally, not to mention the slight of hand tricks you use to pull it out of its hiding spot and leave it with the other bags without anyone noticing.
But you're still gaining potatoes overall, filling the shed and the storage building that replaced it. You consider high jacking the truck that delivers potato orders to your work, but you know Ed in receiving would notice something was up if there was an extra delivery they didn't pay for. You had already heard some confusion about potato shrinkage being negative and worried you'd never be able to repay your debt.
Then a complaint came in and you thought it was all over. A customer bought a bag of potatoes and they were all trash compared to the last one. The store was going to trace the batch number, which you had just been making up and even having a bit of fun with.
You felt a confused relief when you heard that the trace had led to nothing unusual being discovered. Turns out the trash potatoes were from the usual source and you wondered if that earlier bag was the one from you.
And then one day your nightmare comes true. You had just stealthfully placed three potatoes with others--that were much smaller and didn't look nearly as good (you were considering sending some anonymous tips to the producer so yours wouldn't stand out so much)--and made eye contact with one of your colleagues who was standing by the carrots. She saw. It's over. My whole potato empire is about to crumble to nothing and I'm going to prison for theft.
She looked dumbfounded. A little too dumbfounded, actually. You were wondering if this was a bigger deal than you had thought when you notice a bright orange object fall from her sleeve to the ground. It was a carrot. And it looked significantly better than most of the carrots your work had on display.
I see you've seen my Stardew Valley games lmao thanks for the laughs this was great!
You might have ADHD lol
Potato: the traditional ADHD houseplant. (Reminds me, I should see if any of my bag of potatoes have volunteered to be planted/have sprouted yet)
I have definitely wondered the same myself lol I am also pretty shit with time management...
I stole some bullets from my workplace once.
I was unloading a truck at work one day, many years ago. One of the items on my trailer was a pallet of rifle ammunition. Whoever loaded this trailer on the other side of the country did a shitty job of it; plastic wrap was shredded, several boxes were torn open, the cardboard "do not stack" cone was crushed under the weight of a car engine, among other things. When I managed to exhume this pallet from the trailer, the plastic gave way, spilling dozens of boxes and hundreds of loose bullets all over my trailer and loading dock. While I was cleaning up the mess, I impulsively pocketed a few bullets for myself. Nobody ever asked me about it. I don't even own a gun. But I have a few bullets.
I gave a bullet to a friend in highschool while we were hanging out at the mall. Our lil dumb 9th grade brains thought they were sooooo cool. Well then friend brought it into school showing people and of course he gets expelled on the spot. But he never told the teachers where he got the bullet.
What a homie
I’ve been sick at home for a few days. I blew my nose into some toilet paper, checked, then tossed it in the toilet. Saw myself in the bathroom mirror and had snot all over my mustache.
Then it hit me. This isn’t the first time I’ve blown my nose with a mustache — it’s just the first time I’ve immediately looked in a mirror afterward.
Oh my god
Yea it happens if you have facial hair unfortunately. Went for a meal with my family last night and drinks after. Got home and realised there was quite a bit of dried soup in my beard. I do normally check myself after eating in my phone camera but totally forgot. Made me glad I've already made an appointment with the barber to get it trimmed.
out of all the disturbing facts in this thread this is the one I like the most
i notice that when im sick, it takes longer for me to get better if i have a mustache. Not that i walk around with snot hanging to it, i hope not. But i guess something sits there, and i breath it all day and stay sick.
I had half of my face ripped off by a dog when I was a kid. Skin and flesh was just hanging off of my face and I almost lost my right eye.
Doctors did a great job patching me up and you can't even tell that anything happened unless you know where the super subtle scars are.
Oh wow. They did great work then. My niece has her face attacked by a pit bull, has had several surgeries and some laser work, and you can still tell unfortunately. She kind of developed some transient anorexia about it unfortunately, which my asshole MIL went out of her way to aggravate. Glad you did well though.
After taking a car door to the head during heavy winds, I experienced immediate and recurring night terrors/sleep paralysis for two years. They started out pretty extreme, with me waking up on my stomach with some kind of creature pinning me to the bed. I'd struggle enough to lift my head a few inches, only to find my pillow was filled with distorted, open-mouthed faces stretching out at me from the material.
As time went in the hallucinations gradually waned in extremity, though never becoming anything comfortable. I would open my eyes to see a phosphorescent grid encompassing my walls, or millions of flies on my bedroom ceiling. Once my cat was staring up at them too, and I believed what was happening was real, only to wake up a moment later facing a different direction, and my cat fast asleep at my feet.
Eventually it's as though my soul became heavy or something. I slept on the top floor of a two-story home, with a very old colonial-era basement below it. I would constantly find myself one or two floors directly beneath my bed, all but glued to the ground and trying with all my might to crawl out of the damp, dark cellar toward the stairs, but too sluggish and/or paralyzed to do it. I felt terrified down there in the darkness. Eventually the adrenaline would wake me up safely in my bed.
Throughout the entire ordeal I would somewhat frequently open my eyes to see some sort of ghostly or transparent entity looming over my bed, leaning over or staring down at me. The last night I ever experienced an episode, I woke up to see that very entity, but I realized suddenly that the entity was me. It was me standing there, looking down at myself. I became angry. I felt like these episodes had ruined my life, and made sleeping something I no longer looked forward to. The rage came to a head. I activated every nerve in my body to try to break free of the paralysis. I gritted my teeth as I succeeded, groaning the words "FFFFRUUUUCKK YYRRROOOOUU!!!" as I bolted up from my bed and lunged through my own ghost. Then I never saw it again. In fact, I never had another night terror since. It's been years now. A decade at least.
I love your story. I overcome attempted nightmares in a very similar way.
I rarely get anything close to a nightmare nowadays, but I used to get dreams where someone/something would chase me. Then one night, I felt it was about to happen, and thought, "I'm so tired of this. You know what? I'm done." And... the thing disappeared.
Ever since then, if any scary shit starts happening in a dream, I just tell it to fuck off. Sometimes that moment leads to a small bit of lucidity, and I go, "Oh hey, I can fly away." Run, jump, take off, and it's pleasant dreams from then on out.
The power of the mind is incredible.
I actually just had a moment like that (sudden lucidity during a dream) in my last sleep. Probably would have lost that memory entirely if this comment hadn't reminded me. Even still, I can't remember the context, just that something was happening that was mildly annoying and I realized I was dreaming.
I just said, "wait a minute, this is my dream, I'm in control here" and then I think the dream shifted into something else or something because the memory fragment ends there.
It's weird, as soon as I became aware of my sleep paralysis I became able to control it and I've never had another either
I still experienced it after I knew what it was, but not nearly as often. The last time I remember it happening, I dreamed I was at work. Laid down in a hallway to nap. Woke up from the dream nap with one of the execs standing next to me, looking down his nose. Couldn't move. "Hell of a time for sleep paralysis," dream-me thought.
Then real me woke up with sleep paralysis. At work, with my head down on a conference table at 3am.
I do not miss those sensations.
I grew up deeply religious. Mom used to cast demons out of the house when I was little, and that ain't the half of it. Needless to say, I entered puberty with some fucked up perspectives. I started getting night terrors soon after I started masturbating, which was an accidental discovery of mine. The fact that I couldn't stop freaked me out. I thought it was demonic and no way was I gonna talk to my parents about any of it.
Fortunately for me, I was always fascinated by science and sci-fi. I loved sharks, astronomy, history, and Star Trek. For middle school I attended private Christian school or home school, but for 9th grade I demanded to return to public school. My parents relented. The demonic night terrors still tormented me nearly every night, but one day I read an article about sleep paralysis in a science magazine in the school library. It explained everything I'd been going through for several awful years.
That same night I experienced another episode. I felt lucid enough to remember the article and realize what was happening. Instead of impotently begging Jesus again for help, this time I simply thought, "fascinating." Then immediately woke up.
It has never happened to me since.
The people who fuck with libraries can all burn in hell. Libraries save lives, from exactly those same people.
That reminds me of the first time I did shrooms. I looked in the mirror and my head turned into a demon head. It made me laugh because I don't believe in such things and I was aware I was on shrooms, but I bet it would have freaked a religious person out. I can definitely see why some religious people use psychedelics because they think it gets them in touch with the spirit world or whatever.
I have always had hypnagogic dreams but no paralysis. The scary hallucinations only happened when I was stressed
Normally the hallucinations were benign
Sleep paralysis is so terrifying. I get episodes when I'm under incredibly severe stress, so I've only had about 4 episodes. When it first happened, my heart was thumping so quick and fast that I thought I'd for sure have a heart attack.
Okay, so I have a mechanical heart valve. One time, while I was in the basement of my childhood home with one of my brothers, I was close to him as he was playing The Godfather PS2 (I'm pretty sure it was that game). It was pretty quiet, so he somehow heard the ticking of my valve and his mind went to some sort of explosive like a pipe bomb being close by.
If you don’t mind my asking, how do you deal with the ticking? I understand it can be very audible internally, and for some recipients can be incredibly difficult to deal with. I have a friend who has one too, and he says he doesn’t even notice it at all anymore. His brain tunes it out unless he thinks about it.
It's just something that has become constant internal background noise over the years. I don't know about anyone else with mechanical heart valves, but I'm constantly aware of mine and am so used to it that it doesn't bother me. I assume my brain tunes it out, but I'm not sure because I don't think about that.
I used to be Mormon
I used to be jehovas witness. Hello cousin!
Used to be seventh day Adventist. I hear jehovas witness branched out from that originally.
Heck yeah!! I used to know quite a bit about jw from the exjw subreddit but it's been years since i frequented it. Now i just know there are a lot of similarities
As the child of Jack Mormons, I feel for you and hope you've found healing.
Thanks! I'm mostly healed these days. It's been a over half a lifetime and I'm just glad I got out when i did. Hope the same for you and your family
I have the suicide disease. The worse, TN2 version. That is not a sly term for mental illness, it's a nerve disorder that has pain so great that people kill themselves rather than face yet another day of it. I am rarely below 3 on the 1-10 pain scale (at 4 right now) and I've reached 10 more times than I can count. This is with medication keeping it at the level where I can function.
I am such a bad judge of pain that the trauma from my not realizing for half a week that I had kidney stones and not taking any painkillers and then being stuck first in a clinic and then the ER for 14 hours writing in agony until they finally decided I did, in fact, have kidney stones and gave me some fentanyl, caused severe trauma and gave me an eating disorder called ARFID, unrelated to body image issues, and I have not eaten solid food in a year and a half.
Explains a lot, doesn't it?
https://arizonapain.com/trigeminal-neuralgia-suicide-disease/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant/restrictive_food_intake_disorder
Hey, you asked.
P.S. If you try to give me medical advice over the internet, I may just block you. I am so fucking sick of that. And no, "I know you said you didn't want medical advice, but..." does not count as a way around that. And I am fucking sick of having to say that and having people ignore it too.
Damn. You know flying squid, I've always looked up to you around here. I see you in a lot of posts and comments around and didn't realize you are in agony for most of the time.
Yeah, gotta love it.
I wondered how things were for you. I'm so sorry. I do know of a new treatment for trigeminal nerve stuff simply because I work in neuro I can tell you about if you want but I most certainly won't give you advice. I just know someone who is using it and it's new.
I know you said no advice, but have you tried jerking off a bunch?
Blocked so I can go look at porn uninterrupted.
Damn, so sorry you're having to go through this. May the days be kind to you, friend.
Thank you.
Damn, that blows. Thanks for sharing, I didn't know that was a thing.
I'm here to try something different... Instead of recommending a medical thing, how about you go on https://loops.video/ and share it with the rest of the world?
Shit, that's some crazy symptoms! Fight on!
I actually did make a video about it once which has helped others, so I'm glad of that. But I don't want to doxx myself and link to it.
I am impressed with you.
Thank you.
Sorry to read that. But in some way I am almost relieved that you seem to finally know what caused your insanely severe case of ARFID. I remember when you were posting about your time at the Mayo clinic and the awful mismanagement there and was very sad and disappointed (not by you) that you were bombarded with enough armchair diagnostics to stop updating about your case.
When did you get diagnosed with TN2? And how long was the gap between the kidney stones and your last bite, if I may ask?
Thanks. I don’t really feel relieved by it, mainly because it’s kind of irrelevant to the future, but it is what makes the most sense and it’s better than having no idea.
When did you get diagnosed with TN2?
I think about 10 years ago. Maybe 11 now. It might be genetic because my dad had TN1. But he got it in his 70s. It usually manifests itself at that age. I was in my late 30s.
And how long was the gap between the kidney stones and your last bite, if I may ask?
That’s kind of complicated. A few weeks after it happened (January 2023) I started dry heaving every morning. That has been almost daily for me. Occasionally more than once. Then that March, I had this issue for about six weeks and then I was fine again until August. And other than at the Mayo Clinic when they totally numbed my mouth with a lidocaine-based compound, when I was able to manage a couple of bites of egg salad, that was the last time I had truly solid food. I’m also the smelling equivalent of a supertaster. I can smell cleaning fluid inside stores from when the custodians mopped the day before.
Working with a psychiatrist and doing RO DBT therapy, I am at a place where I can eat pretty much anything if I don’t have to chew or use any utensils and I have conditioned myself to just deal with the smells even if they are awful. I’m even able to cook for my kid now.
So I am in a much better place than I was even six months ago.
That's a raw deal. I always thought a 1-10 pain scale was a dumb Idea. Pain is pretty subjective and someone who hasn't experienced severe pain doesn't really have a way to understand what constitutes a 10. (I would answer differently before and after my cycling accident for example) Personally I think that setting the scale as 1-10 where breaking a leg is a 6 (or something) would be more diagnostically relevant. I trust your judgement, although what you call a 4 would probably be most people's 8.
That must be the toughest condition I read about in a long while. It's amazing that you kept going. It's also amazing that you decided to share this!
Thanks. I have definitely had my very, very low points, but you just try to keep going when you can until you have no reason to do it anymore...
The guy who first showed me D&D when I was a kid went on to rape and murder a 90 year old woman who lived down the street during a botched robbery.
That's because D&D is how you let the demons in, duh. How's your possession going?
Tom Hanks told me that!
I bet he was searching for material components.
I was kidnapped (by a parent) as a kid.
Story? Don't feel pressured if you don't want to but since you brought it up I'm guessing you're OK with talking about it
I was 7, my dad woke me up at like 10 pm, told me to come with to the neighbors across the street. I'm gonna stay the night with my friend. Get there, we hang for like 2 hours, it's after midnight and he tells me we're leaving.
"You said we were staying the night"
"it's after midnight, we did stay the night"
My dad is a big fan of technically true statemelies like that.
He put us on a bus, and took us from Chesapeake, Virginia to Columbia, South Carolina, where we're originally from. We were there for about 2 months. I was with family, and cared for, and not abused or anything. But it was still scary. I knew my phone number, but it was the late 90s, and you didn't need to know the area code to call local, so I didn't know it. My dad had instructed everyone not to tell me. I couldn't talk to my mom or brother, and that scared me really badly. While I was there, my mom and brother both had a really terrible flu, no money (and by no money I mean none. They delivered papers for income, and my dad did tree work when he felt like it.). They couldn't afford the gas to come get me, even after my cousin helped me figure out the area code to call them.
From my point of the view at the time, it was framed as like, a trip home to see Grandma, but being away from my mom and brother, and not being allowed to speak to them, was really scary. Not to mention frustrating. I knew I was being lied to, and having things kept from me, and I didn't appreciate it. I started having panic attacks at night when it came to go to sleep, and they lasted until my late 20s. Like, almost every night. I had to learn breathing exercises and shit to deal with them in my teens. It's wild the shit that can be traumatic. I was safe. I was with my father, and my grandma (although, she was whole other piece of work), and I got to hang out with my older cousin who was good to me, even though her sister was a complete bitch. But it seriously damaged for a long time. I still have unresolved issues about it, and pretty severe separation anxiety and shit. I'm like a shelter dog sometimes. Lmao When the panic attacks started my aunt told me it was because I ate chocolate, and no one would believe me that it wasn't just, like, heartburn or something. They were real, and I didn't learn what they were until I was like 16, because panic attacks aren't, like, typical presentation. They're weird. Everything feels the wrong size. Like my hands feel tiny, or my teeth feel enormous. The bed feels like it's the size of an ocean, or the phone I'm using to distract myself feels like a matchbook in my hands. Just a whole bunch of shit. I guess I never really got past it.
But my mom got us a hamster when I got back, so that was cool. They found it in the driveway, and we named him Clyde. Later a neighbor rehomed theirs with us, and we renamed her Bonnie.
... Then Bonnie chewed through her enclosure and Bonnie ate Clyde, so altogether pretty shitty. Lmao
Oh wow, I just told a story above about my friend who was kidnapped by his dad.
https://lemmy.world/comment/14534609
Also I know you're not him for anyone who asks. He's not on Lemmy even though I keep telling him he'll like it. He won't get off Reddit. Drives me nuts.
That's wild!
My story isn't that crazy. I feel weird/kind of guilty talking about like sometimes, because I know how much worse situations like that are for most people who have been through it. But you can't help the shit that fucked you up in childhood. Lol
Does your buddy still have contact with his dad?
How did his wife take it?
She was petrified
sorry
Mortified.
Through a tube.
By coincidence, I inherited the RAM and CPU from the work computer of a guy who later shot up my workplace. Luckily he was the only one killed in the shooting. I still use the kit from the shooter to run my home server.
Aren't you worried that the ones and zeros that sent him mad could still be hidden as a transient memory just holding on inside a part of the RAM that you have up-to-this-point not made use of? What about if it's just biding its time hiding, waiting for the right moment to come out?
Thanks, Stephen King
I'm sure I've already used every bit of that RAM over the years. ZFS loves to use all the memory I throw at it. If there's any killer virus hiding in the ones and zeros....I guess I already have it.
Look up a 80's movie called shocker. Bonus the bad guy is Skinner from the X-files.
When I used to be spiritual I had a very small cult following of 12 people whose extreme believe in my lies actually showed me how frigthening Religion is.
Go on...
Okay, found some time. First some background, what actually happened at the bottom.
Background on me
At the time (before smartphones and useful Wikipedia) I subscribed to some vague new-age gods-and-auras-and-spirits-and-energy beliefs loosely based on Germanic Neopaganism with some modern Druidry flavors. But I knew I was just going through the motions. I wanted it to be real and I wanted magic to exist, but I was also quite educated and no matter how much "knowledge" of the subject I acquired, I was still a little bit conscious of the fact that I was just a teenager/young adult lying to myself.
Background on the situation
I was charismatic, convincing, a compulsive liar and a horny teenage asshole. I was also the leader of a big guild on an active Ultima Online roleplay server that had quite a couple of attractive female players which I, through some very convenient coincidences, had convinced that there must be something true about my beliefs and my claims of shamanism.
For example: I often had long talks with one of the players, often deep into the night and one time she asked me to pay her an astral visit, if I was able to astral-project, and tell her stuff about her room, so she could verify. I now know that what I did then was basically cold reading her answers and being vague enough that she could interpret everything I said as accurate. She was impressed.
The piece de resistance was a lucky coincidence. To scare her a little and impress her more, I made something up about there being somebody with her in the room, not necessarily in the physical world, but that there was a presence there with her. She denied that for some time, got even angry as she caught on that I might be lying to her (I actually tried to imply it might be a spirit)... until the cat that never, never enters her room appeared behind the curtains and meowed at her.
This completely turned her anger into awe.
She hadn't know the cat was there, the cat never got into her room except that night, I had "known" something about her room that she didn't... she could not explain that. So her explanation was: He really visited me, he really has some magic powers. And she told the story to everyone in the guild, earning me more awe from the other players. I on the other hand knew that I had completely made that shit up and hit the jackpot through sheer luck... but the taste of all their awe felt soooo good. So I, with more lucky coincidences, more cold reading, more confident lying and just being charismatic slowly got into the heads of my guildmates and enjoyed all the attention of the girls. My character basically acquired a harem for naughty roleplay and I would try to do the same.
My chance arrived at the IRL-camping trip meetup.
What happened
It was supposed to be a fun trip, a weekend of camping with friends and guildmates, meeting the people we only ever interacted online with, some booze, some barbeque, a warm summer night under the stars. It started out great, we talked and talked and had lots of fun, drank a lot, smoked (no weed), danced around a fire. Sometime around evening I found myself surrounded by my guild talking about spiritual bunk that I mostly just made up on the spot. Viking pyramids, Ley lines, my ability to sense dark and bright presences, shit like that. My goal was to impress the girls and maybe scare one or two a little, so I could later protect them from evil spirits by inviting them to my tent... again some lucky coincidences lent me a hand.
We saw a meteor that night, and I don't just mean like a tiny falling star, we saw a big-ass chunk of rock break apart in the atmosphere and burn up in a bright orange fireball.
Later we had a stroll around the local lake and I kept insisting that there was some bright energy coming from the lake but that a dark presence was gathering at a little wooded area in front of us. I don't know what actually was in there, most likely some roe deer or maybe wild hogs, but when we got close a wind from behind us blew towards the forest and made it shiver just a little, we made two steps more and then the little forest started shaking violently. I think whatever animal had hidden in there just fled, but the others were instantly convinced that I had known there was something and that we should not go that way and that it would come after them.
This was a breaking point for some. As the night fell, booze and crowd dynamics took over, mass hallucinations set in as the mood turned from a relaxed, happy, cozy evening to frightened paranoia. I can't tell you how scary it is if you make up a neat little ghost story and feel in control of the things people believe, try to (mildly) scare some girls into your tent when suddenly people take it seriously, take it up and absolutely massively run with it, starting to create their own narrative. They suddenly started seeing things in every little thing. A crying fox to them suddenly was the death cry of a women who had drowned in the lake. We actually didn't know if someone had ever drowned in it, but they just as ready made things up and believed them as I had made them up... only I had known it was bunk, I was in control... they were not.
It was scary, I was suddenly left the only sane person around, they clung to me, asked me a thousand things and every answer I gave, no matter how reassuring it was meant was turned into something frightening. It was very Life of Brian ("I'm not the messiah!" - "Only the messiah would deny to be the messiah!" - "Ok, I am the messiah." - "He said it, he IS the messiah!!!")... No matter what I did to get it back under control their beliefs had escaped me and group dynamics meant it spiraled out of control. The evening was lost. Two people just left and I spend the night with 3 guys and 8 girls on the (apart from us) empty campground, the mood was bad, frightened, my idea to get girls into my tent had worked but there was no thinking about anything naughty. All of them shivered, were deathly afraid, paranoid and some were sobbing... And I was the only one who knew that I had caused that, with lies. I had ruined their weekend, frightened them to the core, I had hurt people who believed in me, looked at me with awe and I myself spend the rest of the night and some of the next morning afraid that some might start hurting themselves.
It was the most impressive example of group dynamics I have ever witnessed, it was extremely scary and I am absolutely certain that this is exactly how religions start... somebody lies and suddenly everything gets out of hand as others take up the ball and run with it, only they don't know that it's all just made up.
His name was Derek. But he went by 'the Prophet' when times were good, or 'the Law Giver' when times were bad.
I moved onto his prayer farm with 45 other members of the Salvation Star Boys, who died in a mass suicide. But not me. 'Cause I don't like root beer. And I only drink what I like.
After it was all over, I called Lois to pick me up. She was mad. But she's what Derek calls an Oppressing Doubter.
May the light of Derek's Invincible Diamond shine through you.
My joints slip out like that's what they were meant to do. My hips will dislocate during sex, it's a not at all fun-for-me party trick
Joint hypermobility!
This is probanly way too boring and mundane for this thread, but I can't feel hunger or fullness. (Never had a doctor look at it because it doesn't make my life worse)
My mom when I was a baby asked the doctor how much baby food I should be given after breastfeeding time was over. The doctor said "just give him enough, he will stop". After many jars of food, my mom had to stop because I wouldn't stop.
To this day I can feel my stomach expanding before I will stop. At my university all-you-can-eat cafeteria (back when I was super fit and tracked every calorie) I ate about 10kcal and didn't feel full so I stopped. I also did a 21 day water (and salt+vitamins) fast without that much trouble (but my mouth would still water and I would still have taste cravings)
Fucks up my relationship with food though because I eat when I am bored, just eat whatever is in front of me without realizing it, or if I am busy I will just forget to eat.
As I said, probably not really unsettling or scary, but not a fun fact lol.
Neither can I anymore. No hunger, no thirst. I have an eating disorder that's not related to body image called ARFID. Here's my post about it in this thread: https://lemmy.world/comment/14558547
I think I have this to some degree. I never feel hungry/hangry if I haven't eaten by specific times. I just eat because I'm bored and it kinda heats me up. I can go days without, I just don't because of habit and because sugar and caffeine have effects that help me concentrate
I would think like Prader Willi syndrome but usually those children are intellectually delayed.
The most fun I've ever had in my life was when I was young lighting off fireworks and a nearby patch of grass started on fire. My father and I ran over and meticulously stomped out every bit of fire as it spread, and managed to beat it handily. It was exciting.
I was in a locker room three months ago minding my own business when this oddly looking guy next to me struck up a conversation. He looked old and incredibly skinny, but you could tell his face was younger. Maybe it's a skin condition like Ehlers-Danlos, I thought.
Well, the guy was in his early thirties and said the reason for his condition was that he had been recently freed by a cartel. He had been kidnapped for years, kept without food or proper hygiene, basically working as a slave. And then he showed me a picture of himself from three years ago on his phone. He has the incredible phisique of a Greek god, beautiful face, with a six pack and well developed muscles. And there he was, skinny, thin as a pencil and with loose, aged skin.
He recounted how he had used his smarts to survive. He had been forced to kidnap others, forged friendships with his captors and even made important suggestions to the leaders to create alliances with other cartels. He was damn good at the job making people fall into the trap, schmoosing the right people and getting out of situations. He said he was honestly one of the best they had, according to him.
He went on about how he had been tortured, kept in a cellar, worked tirelessly from dawn til dusk, and then released one day. And then he told me he he still had friends in the cartel to this day.
That's when I found a break 20 minutes in of this guy trauma dumping on me and I noped the fuck out of there with some bullshit excuse. Never in my life have I ever been so scared, sad, sorry and flabbergasted of someone recounting their life story.
I hate conversation hostages. They just dont let you exit, and don't really care if you're listening. I can understand their loneliness, but christ they need to develop the skills of: a) summarize your bullshit, and b) gauge my reaction to see if I'm interested.
Yeah, I don't think he was too aware or didn't want to be. The moment I saw his picture I did the whole "no fucking way this is you" face. I think he really needed to talk about it, which I understand, but it wasn't the place or the time. He caught me completely offguard.
Lost one of my testicles when I accidentally got hit during bandy practice. Scrotum turned into the size of a handball before it got better. No surgery or drainage, was told to let it be and it would fix itself.
Had a cup and everything so just got unlucky.
Wait, hold up... so you're testicle just what? Vaporized? Like... there's excess material there and if it's no longer receiving blood it's going to rot and decay... How did you not go septic and die?
A friend of mine lost a testicle to cancer. When he recovered, he told me that it just made the other one twice as potent.
My eye doctor murdered his boss's wife and waited on the couch beside her corpse for him to get home. He got beaten the shit out of before he could kill his boss and the cops arrested him shortly after the beating.
My orthodontist had been high school band buddies with my parents, so when I needed braces 6 used him.
A few years later, his wife suspected him of cheating, so she hired a PI firm to follow him. They made the very stupid decision of telling her her was cheating on her in real time and where.
With her stepdaughter (his child) in the car, she drove to the hotel, confronted him, then ran over him 3 times. It was national news, and she got out of prison a few years ago.
Didn't see that coming
Working in IT, I see far too many of your passwords, and you suck at passwords.
With that being said, if you use Windows and your hard drive isn't encrypted, it is ridiculously easy for me to break into your account, access all of your files and take full control of your computer.... Provided I can get physical access to it.
Stop using the same passwords for everything. Do you want to get "hacked" because that's how you get "hacked". Disclaimer, this isn't hacking, it's social engineering attacks with extra steps. The people trying to exploit you and steal your accounts put little to no effort into getting your stuff specifically. You just happened to get caught in their net.... Good luck, you're fucked.
Probably should have had a backup, and used a password manager huh?
Also it's ridiculously easy to lock yourself out of your own accounts by enabling 2FA/MFA. Most people have zero idea what is even involved in 2FA/MFA and the vast majority do everything in their power to turn it off. They would rather expose their account to the risk of it being taken over by some scammer, than be bothered to enter a six-digit code sometimes.
The reality is, as an admin, I can, with a fair amount of ease, monitor everything you do, when you do it and for how long you do it. The only reasons I don't is that 1. I'm pretty sure there are laws about it (but you'd have to prove I did it to have those laws enforced... GL, YF.) 2. Morally it's "wrong" to do so. And last but not least, I wouldn't give a single shit about what you do with your computer, whether it's a work machine, or personal system. Just don't make it my problem and we'll get along splendidly.
Also, the number of you people who use company laptops and cellphones for your personal correspondence and/or your only computer/phone is kinda ridiculous. Understand this: any company assets, and all the data held within, are wholly, immediately, irrevocably and perpetually, property of the company. So any texts, including sexts, dick pics, nudes, lude messages, personal banking info, emails sent to you personally,... All the data that is sent to, and stored on, the device that work provided to you, is property of the company.
Given that, and what I've seen when these devices are ripped from your hands when you inevitably leave the position, whether voluntarily or not, you all should be more ashamed of yourselves.
Y'all need Jesus or something. IDK, I don't believe in the guy, but you need something to straighten you out. Holy fuck.
My funny times years ago was running the domain through 'have I been pwnd'. Don't use your work email to cheat using an online service
With that being said, if you use Windows and your hard drive isn’t encrypted, it is ridiculously easy for me to break into your account, access all of your files and take full control of your computer… Provided I can get physical access to it.
That's a big if there. If you can get physical access to my home computer, I think you "breaking into my accounts" is the least of my concerns.
Working in IT, I see far too many of your passwords, and you suck at passwords. [...] Stop using the same passwords for everything.
While that is generally not so bad advice for some people, there's also a legitimate use of shitty passwords - for about every stupid resource that forces an account on you for trivial shit. Also, throwaway accounts of anything.
2FA is scary - if someone grabs this phone, I can't do any work, can't log in to email to change passwords, can't log in to the bank to report stolen cards, can't even buy another phone online.
This is the issue with the current state of 2FA. It's either text driven (SMS) or it's app driven, like the Microsoft authenticator, as an example.
Often "backups" overlap. Like people will use SMS as a backup to the Microsoft authenticator, when the MS authenticator is on the same device as the phone number for SMS verification.
Real, actual, good MFA, only has the problem that people don't keep backup tokens around. If you use a Fido2 keyfob, you really should have a second one that authenticates the same systems the same way, but stored securely away from the one you carry with you.
In that context, backups are actually valid, because if the authenticator is on your keychain and you lose your keys, you have access via a backup on your phone (TOTP or similar).
If you lose your phone, you still have your Fido2 key as primary authentication.
If you lose both, you go and retrieve your backup security key and use that.
It becomes much more difficult to lose access if you're aware of the limitations of the systems you use. For me, I use a password manager, for login I have biometrics from my PC, biometrics from my laptop, two security key fobs, and a backup TOTP code stashed away. I also got recovery codes and sent them securely to a trusted friend.
The only things not using a password from my password manager is my main email, which is used as a backup/recovery email for most services, my password manager itself, and my primary bank. For all of these I use unique, memorized passwords that are not short. Any service that can use MFA has MFA set up, with the only exception being those that only support SMS as MFA. Fuck that. If fido keys are allowed, then I set those up If not, I use TOTP.
The TOTP keys are backed up and stored securely in an online system built for security for this kind of data.
I have contingencies on contingencies for my own access, but many people don't even have one, or even a plan on what to do if things go sideways.
It's a phenomenon I've noticed a lot, it's like Rose colored glasses for getting things set up. People like to see how it works and get everything operational and happy, with absolutely no thoughts towards what happens when it fails? How will it fail and what will we do when it does? How do we recover? How do we continue to operate until everything can be put back together?
They see it's fancy and works for them, and they're super secure because they have MFA, but it's only one kind of MFA, and they only have one of them. But they feel good because they have it.
Then they act shocked when their single MFA method breaks and they lose their accounts because they're stupid.
My coworkers make fun of me, but I bring in laptop with a LTE card to work to do any non work stuff. I don't do anything non work related on company machines.
I do assume IT has too much to do that track what any of us do on our work PCs unless someone gives them a reason.
You're correct. We're too busy and couldn't possibly give any less of a shit what you're up to.
The only time we care, at all, is if someone makes it our job to care. Usually management cracking down on some bullshit, looking for a reason to give someone the boot.
Unless management tells me that I'm supposed to care, I don't.
Just please, for the love of all things digital, do not do anything illegal on work computers. I still don't give a shit that you can or do, what I don't want, is for you to get caught and I have to do a forensic investigation of your system. That's a whole pain in my ass that I don't need.
In general, do not do illegal stuff, but if you're going to do anything illegal, think of your IT guy and do it on your own devices.
You store passwords in plaintext?
Also, I was asked to unlock a former employee work layout. I did expect to be able to do it, but it was fast to easy
I don't, but the windows SAM is laughable "protection" at best.
I knew someone whose death was ruled a suicide. I also know their roommate wasn't where they said they were the night it allegedly happened.
And that's all I know.
Actually I had something like that happen when I worked in the ER. It was thought the boyfriend killed her but nothing they could charge him with. I was in the room with him and he acted weird.
We also had a patient with Munchausen's syndrome and apparently she killed her child but nobody could prove it.
That's not about you. Tell me about who you've embalmed.
Aw crap.
I beat somebody into a coma with their own gun.
I feel like you did he right thing.
The rest of the skeet shooting club didn't
Sometimes I depersonalize and can barely taste, smell, or feel pain
Can ypu normally taste pain?
I do this, I blame the dentist.
Here's a disturbing story involving pain and the dentist:
I went to some quack dentist when I was a teenager to get my wisdom teeth extracted. Novocaine just does not work very well on me, which I tell dentists every time and they just don't listen.
So I felt a shitload of pain when he crushed my tooth to extract it, but I was also on nitrous, so I basically couldn't move.
Many years later, when I was in my late 30s or early 40s, I was having intense pain in the back of my jaw. I thought one of the molars had gone bad and I needed a root canal or something. I made an appointment for an orthodontist, but he couldn't get me in for a few days. And then a day before I got to to the orthodontist, I felt something in my cheek near the back of my jaw and the pain was gone. I pulled it out: it was a sliver of tooth he missed when he crushed it that had finally worked its way out.
I haven't thought of either of those things in a long time. Believe it or not, I don't think what happened at that dentist had any lasting trauma. It's not something I ever dwell on.
Is this similar to out of body experiences? I'll feel far away from myself but on the inside, if that makes sense.
Just a few
- a childhood friend and neighbour got killed by his mother, his sister managed to flee the scene and call the cops
- my elementary school's director got arrested for paedophilia, he killed himself in his cell before getting judged
- my sister in law died in her sleep less than a meter away from me (a wall was between us still) and my partner and I were the ones to find her, I've had to call and tell her parents
I am unsettled indeed
When I was a kid (like 14-15) I would go on gangstalking forums and try to convince schitzophrenic people I was following them.
That's just based tbh.
When I was a kid I found a bunch of puppies that had been skinned alive, I think I scared off whoever was doing it, one was half skinned and still alive and there was another one that had not been gotten to yet
I had a friend a few blocks away growing up and we'd walk over to each other's house all the time. One day when I was 9 or 10 I was walking home and there were a dozen cop cars outside a house. Next door to them was another kid we knew but who was a grade above us so we weren't close.
When I got home I told my parents about all the police at this house. They did some digging around and turns out the guy who lived there was a child molester. I didn't really know what that meant at the time other than it was bad.
I still hope that the kid who lives next door wasn't one of the victims.
When I was in the emergency services, I was first or among the first on scene to serious mass casualty events on multiple occasions. The most any of them got in the news was local papers and traffic disruption reports, because unless it's terrorism the nationals aren't interested. If any of us died in a car crash tomorrow, the world wouldn't care.
I have stupidass heightened perception and seem to repeatedly find myself in extraordinary unbelievable (and often traumatic) situations which no one believes at first, because the situations are so absurd, and my silly brain rights itself so I seem "too okay" in spite of it all. Then I have to deal with it on my own until it directly impacts others and they cannot deny the situations exist. Then they act like shocked Pikachus (which is massively infuriating at times). This has been escalating throughout my life—in spite of the fact I do everything possible to keep my stupid little existence low-key and healthy. I'm working on accepting this.
You could just say they act shocked.
Oh shit! You're the main character!
I'm so sorry that some people in this thread have much worse nightmares than I have. I don't recall having any nightmares that you might call visually grotesque.
When I was in High School, I apparently discovered that looking at a person signals interest in the person, and that it's possible to look at something in this way on accident, or at least without conscious planning. From this I concluded into a mild obsession to basically be conscious of what I am looking at at almost every point in time. In hindsight, it feels kind of like the "you are now breathing manually" meme. This basically only happened with two people, along with it slightly reinforcing my bias against looking at girls, because I'm probably gay anyway, let them not get any ideas.* (this thought is completely stupid in any other way than being moderately considerate. it probably didn't do anything anyway, because I'm not very socially active and had approximately 1-2 friends.)
- The girl who sat on the mirror-opposite side of the room from me in math class, which, If I didn't change seats on purpose, which I did when possible, basically put her in the center of my default field of view when not looking at the teacher. (Seating and desk arrangements in my country are very exciting.) She was really good at staring back, which is basically why I noticed that people care when they're being looked at. I don't really know whether she did this on purpose. I had nothing in common with her that would count as knowing her personally, but we did look pretty similar, so much that some people just told me this without being asked. She's the only person wearing a tie on one of the photos from graduation. I didn't feel a legitimate reason to care much, but basically, I cared because of how much I was constantly thinking about not looking at her. To my friend, I expressed myself as being kind of scared of her, though I never really said that I was scared that anyone capable of critisizing me would find out how much space this bullshit took up in my mind sometimes, or misrepresent this as being attracted or something. I also remember believing at some point that she was behind me on my way to school, (in some parts of europe, people bike to school,) as well as just actually seeing her on some paths beyond doubt, and thinking a moderate amount about what path she takes the least, which might just have been all of them, because of how rarely I saw her on the way.
- The other guy isn't really at fault or anything. He's still really nice to be with now that I've gotten over this somewhat, though I see him rarely, which probably contributed to the brainworms spreading.
*(I cultivate an off-internet bonus genre of brainworms where being asexual reinforces my faux-antiquated fear of being perceived as attracted to someone, which may or may not make sense)
One day, I missed a train. The next one had to stop one short of my home station due to "personell damages" or something similar, which I didn't really grasp, but I was annoyed that I had to take a detour to get home.
I later found out that a guy at my home station jumped in front of the train I was supposed to get.
This whole thread could use a whole lot more of spoiler tags and Content Warning. And I shouldn't have read all these stories. Luckily, I noticed my anxiety soon enough and just stopped.
I'm a 51-year-old married man, and I have owned multiple online girls jn BDSM relationships over the past 4 years. I've controlled their food and what they wear. I've had then send me videos of them spanking and hurting themselves at my my direction. My wife has no idea about any of it.
You sound like an example us irl folk give to draw people away from online only
