Pink and I would dedicate the rest of my life to making Elon Musk shit himself literally every time a camera is pointed at him.
just Elon? What about Nigel Farage? pls?
Doing god’s work.
No gods or kings. Only poop.
You're nicer than I am. 24/7 if it were up to me.
Gold made me think of this forgotten greentext.
Pink, you can control any situation with that.
You got some dude coming to attack you with a knife? Point finger guns at him and say "Poop", they poop instantly stopping them in their tracks, confusing the ever loving fuck out of them... Then you do it again while they stare at you, slowly working out it's you doing this.
You walk up to them as they slowly try to retreat from you, you hit them one more time and walk off into the distance, leaving him to try to get home without anyone noticing he pooped his pants, because who's gonna believe him?
He tries to run, but you slow-walk towards him, chanting "poop!" with every step. His pants are heavy, and blood starts to show through his jeans. "I'll cut your guts out!" he helplessly bluffs. Soon, he crumples up and screams as his guts start emptying into the street; his denim is no longer able to hold the carnage. You see him lying dead at your feet.
You turn back towards the United Healthcare headquarters, and resume your march.
Now, it is finally time to see at what point explosive diarrhea is covered...
What I want to know is, do I have control over consistency, force, and quantity? Is there a limit to the range for this power? Do I need line of sight or is it more of a "Death Note" thing? Can I cause defecation syncope? Can I make someone poop themself to death?
Why would anyone choose anything but the magenta one?
I cast Power Word: "SHIT YOURSELF"
Because you have the soul of a puppy and you can’t imagine harming another?
Screw that! I wanna make boom boom in others pants!
I'd take blue maybe, I could use a friend 🥲
We'll all be your friend here. We just have to avoid all things that could potentially cause strife, because we are on the .world server, after all. No real discussions, no delving into topics that unnerve cowardly mods. Everything is surface level and calm, just like any casual... friendship... without feeling....
You took the blue pill already, didn't you?
If blue is not already the case (I would question how they became your crush) that seems like a good option. Otherwise pink is the only useful one.
Assuming I could force somebody to poop on command with little effort beyond sheer willpower, I would absolutely take it upon myself to dish out petty justice with that power.
I see you being rude to people working in a service job? You get poopy pants.
I see you playing music on your phone or otherwise being obnoxious on the bus or some other public space? You get poopy pants.
Are you driving like an asshole? Following too closely? Cutting people off? Honking the moment the light turns green? Words can't express the satisfaction I will feel in knowing that you're now sitting in your car with the poopiest of pants my power could possibly muster.
Okay, but at all times there is a mass of constipated people surrounding you, lining up in a queue in front of your home, begging you to relieve them! And obvioysly many havent really thought about where to go about it if you help them...
I hope you're on your very own watch list :S
Who tf is choosing anything but pink?!?
I mean the weed gummy isn't that bad
But of the rest, pink is the only one that does anything fun. And it could technically be useful. If you need to distract someone during a heist, for an example.
Also you'd be immune to constipation.
Yeahh I already have the blue pill. I mean I'd like to try weed some time but with some friends too. And it's not like it's super expensive, so that's always an option. Pissing loud is useless, and making shitheads get shit pants actually sounds fun, so that's what I'd go with.
You’re a beta pisser
Maybe I already piss so loud I don't need it 😏
Pink all the way. Rude to some service worker? Poopy pants. Didn't return the cart? Poop. Drive like an asshole? Poop. Politician spewing hateful garbage on national television? Oh you bet you're getting the poopy pants.
I would be The Punisher, only with poop instead of guns.
Poop Note
The Poo-nisher. 💀💩
Jeez. All you mean people.
I'd take the pink pill and help people with intestinal blockages and stuff.
That's the best answer.
spoiler
I feel you've got a good personal reason behind it that most don't. I haven't seen anything from you about your health recently, so I hope you're doing great, and that the move to the UK goes swell!
Pink would be politically beneficial. You could legitimately make major progress in the world with that power. Someone who disagrees with you tries to speak publicly? Time to poop. Hell. Just harass them with explosive diarrhea until they notice the trend that whenever they do something political, the diarrhea returns.
They'll just take a page from the Trump playbook and start wearing diapers.
All diapers have their limit
Do they have to have poop in them or does it spawn some inside them? That's necessary information.
I think it would be just enough to go for those massive diarrhea spasms where you no longer even have anything to expulse but your body keeps pushing. Although I guess it would be cooler to have a Tarantino level spray, choco edition.
Our intestines are so long we always have poop in us.
I like that it's "Forced". If it was just "make people shit themselves", it would just happen and then they'd wonder what's going on But Forced implies they're fighting it, it implies resistance. That's kinda messed up.
Imagine being surrounded by cops and just saying "get sharted!" And running away while the cops cry and moan in excremental pain
The Sharter strike again
I mean, it’s not even a contest
I’d choose yellow as well. I imagine sound will reach like 90 dB!
Choose One?
That question mark ❓ suggests the option I could take them all instead if I wanted...
I'd take all but the blue one. Once my powers become known, my crush would love me! Together we'd run my campaign for mayor. I'd win on the promise that the browns will win the superbowl. Yes, I'm making a fecies joke about the BROWNS wining the SUPERBOWL.
I just gotta make the other team shit their pants at the right times.
Force people to poop on command - I'd have xin jinping on speed dial
I would give this pill to a million Chinese and Russian dissidents.
Xi and Putin would just be constantly shitting. There would be no moment in any day for as long as they lived that they weren't shitting.
the pink one, thenbevery oligarch will never stop shitting.
If it's "only on command" too it can also be very good against oligarchs
yeah, never shit again would also be useful.
Allow me to introduce my little friend:
It's only chaotic evil if you use it as such.
Could work as a televangelist for constipated people.
Teledoctor*, unless you're planning to only use it on people if they convert to your religion.
May the spirit of the lord cleanse thy bowls. Hallelujah hallelujah!!!
Definitely pink, I would be the most powerful man on Earth.
My Super-name would have to be Shitstorm
People with chronic constipation constantly bothering the guy who took the pink pill.
old neighbor recently had surgery because his poop reached his throat
He should have gone into politics instead
Well, what else did he expect to happen when eating shit?
Oh sure, "his" poop
I will just make every single human on earth poop every day at exactly 14:56 UCT
I wouldn't say anything, and just enjoy seeing how people tries to figure out what's going on. And maybe how a new religion is born of such a miracle.
That would destroy most places sewage systems lol
magenta be like "IM GONNA SHIT YOUR PANTS"
How does that work... spoken command? Is there a cool down on you/the victim? Can it be recorded/broadcasted? Does it has to be consciously be heard and understood or is it like the brown Note from Southpark?
Based on this, that power varies from nice/annoying trick to weapon of mass defecation.
I already have all these powers... Maaaaan...
Are you the person who keeps materialising in my home and screaming "DEFECATE" then disappearing in a puff of fart-cloud?
I've had a leg injury lately and I can't make it to my upstairs bathroom that fast. You have destroyed my stair carpet. The cleaner said it was "unsalvageable" and "honestly shameful". You need to stop.
You could probably use that power to kill someone. Pooped to death.
That's called dysentery.
It's only Chaotic if you use it carelessly, OP, rather than to build your Lawful Evil Empire of Poop.
I have a debilitatingly shy bladder in public washrooms, and I don't know if pissing loud as fuck would be boon or a curse.
Is the poop something that has to be done in-person?
Does it have to be assigned to an individual, or can you decide that everybody who uses the word 'rizz' regularly will now poop?
Or is it like Death Note where you have to have a specific person in mind? I would totally be down to be the Kira of pants-shitting. I'd be the God of a stinky new world.
Problem is that in the US I'm fairly certain our leaders are already forced to wear diapers. The President who was elected 32 years ago is younger than the President who was elected 2 months ago.
To be fair, the president elected two months ago is the oldest asshole to have ever won the office.
The last 3 elections were the oldest ever
Pink!
Never have an unexpected poop by scheduling them!
You could just drink water. Eat late. Drink coffee in the morning.
Start smoking.Shit easy every morning.
Green'll do just fine, thanks
But imagine all the weed gummies you could pilfer if you could threaten people at pink-pill-point.
"I take a couple uppers, I down a couple downers, But nothin' compares to these blue and yellow purple pills."
If take the purple pill, can I do that to anyone anywhere on Earth? Or just people nearby? Anywhere on earth, the purple. Just nearby, toss up between purple and a weed gummy. Do I know the strength of the weed gummy?
Even if its nearby... I'd visit every trump rally out there.
The pink pill is so silly yet can be so useful.
Is there a range limit on magenta? Do they have to be in my presence, just able to hear my voice, actively be paying attention? These are important factors!
Pink would come in clutch if you’re a doctor on a surgical ward.
Pink is the only good one there, especially since I don't need yellow
Bobbity bibbity - your pants are now full of shittery
Pink please....
I've got a shy bladder, a wife, and plenty of weed gummys.
I'll take the purple pill. Took forever to potty train my youngest and that seems like a useful skill.
I'd probably use it whenever I get road rage. Oh, you wanna cut me off? Fuck you. Shit your pants.
I have IBS and I do wish it on my worst enemies. Gimme that pink pill.
Pink one definetely, the green, yellow and especially blue are useless.
Why is this so funny? It's fucking stupid 😂
Having your crush as your legitimate wingman is a fucking superpower beyond all superpowers.
So I would clearly take the pink pill if necking them all at once isn't an option.
I'm gonna be the world's loudest pisser!
blue, so I would finally have a friend
I'd take yellow because nothing would change
So take green then maybe?
Nah, I don't like weed or any of the other options
My first instinct was pink, but on second thought blue. There is no saying that because the pill makes them my friend that it couldn't ever change. If not, I could always use more hot friends who could hook me up with their hot friends.
Man crush on Keanu or Cavill and have them be your friend. That could be great.
You'd have to choose your celebrity crush with care.
I love that ability. I always want greedy billionaires and hateful politicians to be made a fool of. Now I can do it with comedy.
No violence and death, just lots of dookies. Oh this is so fun.
PowerRanger colors explained.
The green ranger was pretty dope, so this fits.
What if I already have the blue pill power? Does it cancel out in some sort of strange overdose condition?
Purple but myself. Please myself. Dear gods myself.
Only if you’re a people.
Do what I tell you or I'll give you nonstop diarrhea for the rest of your life.
Do you have to have the person in line-of-sight? Is awareness of them enough? Do they need to hear you? Do they need to see you? The "on command" bit is what makes me think they need to be able to be given a command, so at the very least have a speaker nearby. It's a great bluff though. Who, after all, would actually question it once you've made them go several times.
The diarrhoea bit is an idea though. Can you make them poop in different ways? If you can make them have loose, watery stools could you also go the other direction and make them shit bricks? Take 100 men, make them shit bricks, and now you have an industry of adamantium-strength building material. Scale it up as business grows. The world would design around the piddling side effect that the hardest material in the universe is fecal matter. Masks with jasmine would become standard. People would wear skintight bodysuits that are easily removed and recycled in the intimate parts of their homes/offices that are made from non fecal material. Cleanliness would take over the world by necessity. You could be the start of a beautiful, shit-built world...
make them shit bricks
Talk aboit having a shitty job.
yay weed and friendship my two favorite things
This is among the shittiest color combinations for colorblind. I only see two colors of pills: something magenta-ish and something yellow-ish
I think that’s why they have words along with them? 🤪 (sorry)
Silly me! That is convenient. Btw I'm torn between "Make your crush like you but only as a friend" pill and "Forcing people to poop on command" pill, though I'll probably choose "Forcing people to poop on command" pill because it is sillier than "Make your crush like you but only as a friend" which fits silly ol' me
Jokes on you, I'm aromantic!
I choose the weed gummy
I must have taken that blue pill at some point.
