How much for cuddles?

Luckily for the male, the sociopath woman gives fierce blowjobs

Honestly that's a 50/50 shot between fierce and dead fish. I have proclivity for crazy, and a good half the time it's all for show and a real disappointment at game time. That all said, always test drive the car before signing the paperwork.

Wtaf did I just read, and why god does it have so many up votes. Please let this be a copy pasta.

Why did I read that with the David Attenborough voice in mind?

Lad should just whack it to succubus porn like the rest of us.

Look guys, I've spotted the incel!

You may be right in general, but none of that is a good excuse for a transactional sex life.

If I wanted to exchange services (labor) for sex, I could simply take the money earned from labor to purchase it from a prostitute. That is not what a marriage should be like.

Wow. What an incredibly sexist comment.

You are making a lot of sweeping generalizations that are wildly inaccurate. Some of those statements (hell, maybe all of them) may be true for certain socio-political subgroups of our society, but I absolutely do not agree that that’s the dynamic through which most heterosexual people view their partners (or more accurately, the idea of a partner).

You’re basically just regurgitating the “atomic family” ethos from back in the 1950s.

women tend to

I'm gonna stop you right there dawg

Reminding him to care for his kids

by treating him like a kid will not help. Yes, making clear that you expect him to share the care work with you is important. Making rules together can be a way of doing it, but he needs to do it because he is the dad and her partner and a reasonable adult that takes their responsibilities serious, not because he wants a BJ at the end of the week. They both need couple therapy, because he isn't a responsible adult and she infantilizes him on top.

Unfortunately, women tend to want partners, men want caregivers.

Thank you. Nobody's seeing that. All the comments saying the woman is mean, instead of talking about how irresponsible the man must be that he needs a reward system to do what he should be doing on his own* for his family.

*I'm not sure if it's the right expression. I mean by his own volition and out of responsibility.

Edit: I won't acknowledge the rest of your comment because, honestly, it got confusing.

Men tend to trend more irresponsible, women more neurotic, in my experience. There's plenty of exceptions, but on the whole that's what I've seen. Neither is good, both can collapse a relationship. In straight relationships this can result in women taking on everything. Even where she's overcome (or not originally had) any neuroticism, a sufficiently irresponsible man can still put the problem on her shoulders.
What I think you're omitting is that this can happen in reverse.

Even when a man overcomes (or didn't originally have) any irresponsibility, a sufficiently neurotic woman can still put all the problems on him. He has to pull the tasks away from her because she thinks only she can do it 'right'. Only then can he pull his weight. But he then must also do the dance of convincing his partner that he's doing a good job, or she'll just feel compelled to do the work again herself.

Of course most relationships are somewhere between these extremes. And some even see the roles reversed. People are, of course, extremely diverse. But this is a common pattern I've seen.

I'm really surprised this got downvoted... don't get me wrong, I downvoted as well, but... this is not what I expected.

I was in a relationship with a controlling partner who made something very similar to this back in ~2016. I can't remember exactly what was on it, but there was definitely a sexual favor reward for some amount of chores (it was like I had to give her X hour-long full body massages or smth) 💀

true mvp

Imagine the French and Italian retaliation if they had said wheel of cheese.

I do all that, and yet, it's still not enough... always expected to do more and nagged about not doing enough.

Said her name was Bambi

I mean, yeah. I love stickers!

It sound good till you actually experience that and realize how degrading it is.

Look, I'm a male and I completely get the "I'm horny all the time" aspect of males, but... if she did this, that's a complete downer for me. Mind you, I love sex, I would have it a few times a day if I could.

Someone else answered but yes it's a boomer expression. Basically to mean you're in trouble with your spouse. (They aren't letting you in their bed so you go to sleep with your dog in the dog house.)

Yes, I've never heard a real person use it but I've heard it on TV enough to know what it means. I think it's a boomer expression.

We live in a post Trump presidency, post Covid mandates world. Nothing is pretty clearly a joke anymore.

if you think people like this don't really exist then... lucky you!

The comments are really weird. Not just about the chart training and prostitutional aspect, but also that people who argue about it still seem to have a shared opinion that stererotypical men won't do these tasks.

So, even if they acknowledge that the meme is crazy in one way or the other, they're still reinforcing the negative stereotype of the bumbling sitcom dad and that these tasks are not manly or something.

This joke is quite toxic even when understood as a joke.

As has been pointed out before, Lemmy is mostly people who up and left Reddit.

There's a variety of different archetypes that did that.

And it explains a lot of the more head scratching experiences I've had here.

Oh, you're right. Also: oh God, you're right. :(

Unless the throw up he's cleaning and blown out diaper he's changing are hers, probably not. Also "rugrats" he bathed.

no shit, are you illiterate?

I can pee and throw up 10 times per day, no issues.

Am I the only one alarmed that he's cleaning up so much vomit? I mean I get that he wants the BJs, but is he feeding the kids syrup of ipecac sandwiches?

Yeah, but I wouldn't call my relationship with my mom "love" either.

Do you feel smart just because you are quoting Einstein?

- Abraham Lincoln

I assume it's fake, but there's not much to talk about in that case, so I look for the people who think it's real and then engage with them since their opinions are based how they feel about this very fucked up situation if it were real.

You say she "has to create" this and that he "apparently needs parenting". Did you have some additional context that informs that opinion?

Couldn't there be other reasons, such as she just doesn't like doing those particular chores?

Ummmm can't she just put it down. He had to pick it up.

That's much bigger leap based on the info we have

Where in there do you see there being a need?

Sometimes, the latter is easier for the children's sake. I can confirm from experience.

Maybe that's his fetish

You can't just assume all kinks are exactly the same. Even though, in actuality the OP is fake.

He married his Dom though. It's no longer a kink but a lifestyle.

How exactly do the gays transact for sex with their spouses? Like, do they pick one who will withold sex from the other until chores are done? Or do they swap roles monthly? How do they decide which one will be the begger and which one will grudgingly submit to their clumsy, sweaty defilement?

that guys looks like he had his soul sucked out through his nose after enduring a 10 round prize fight

That's the result of the best BJs on this side of the Mississippi

They've definitely photoshopped it to make it look worse for the Internet rage machine

y'all taking literal boomer humor at face value. That's embarrassing

I literally asked if it was real lol.

Thanks for answering.

Thanks!

Kinda yes though.

Marriage is a partnership, and both parties need to be contributing. If one person is expected to work 8+ hours a day outside of the home--plus commute, etc.--then the other person needs to be doing the things that keep the household operating. The gender of the people don't matter; if my wife works as an attorney, and I am a househusband, that means that yeah, I'm doing the cleaning, the laundry, paying the bills, pet care, and all the other things that need to be done while she's at work. Because housework is my job.