Not another one knight stand!
I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD HAT
GET IN LOSER. WE’RE GOING DUNGEON DIVING
WE CAN'T STOP HERE THIS IS DRAGON COUNTRY
lighting bolt lighting bolt lighting bolt
You. I like you.
As a gentleman, I'd offer to hold the steering wheel so she has an easier time aiming her lance at oncoming traffic.
She’s in the passenger seat, you can see the car in the background is also right hand drive
Then I would definitely hold the steering wheel.
Oh, that makes it easier!
Let's be honest: she's probably not a very good driver. They didn't even have cars back then, this must be a lot to process for her.
Fall deeply, and completely in love
Become the damsel in distress naturally (I'm a 6'2 bearded man)
Wouldn't it be nice to be the little spoon once in a while?
Here, here!
The bachelor in distress then
I'm a 5'6 beardless man, we could make this a leaning Tower of Pisa
"I'm glad you brought protection"
what i'm told
Yep, she's a keeper.
It greaves me to say it, but I'd pull her into a warm vambrace and try to tap that cuirass.
I love this.
Now get out.
A duel it is then. Finishes last of my wine
What makes you think I'm not already similarly equipped?
(Any good excuse to trot out this heavy bastard, which I don't have occasion to do often enough anymore. It could really use a polish. There's a project for the weekend...)
What's the best way to polish that?
Give it to your squire.
Take it to Poland?
I usually attack it with a terrycloth and some Flitz. A little will go a surprisingly long way.
There are various methods of oiling, waxing, or otherwise preserving it afterwards. I prefer boiled linseed oil for that, personally.
In Ye Modern Times, you could also just make your mail out of something that doesn't rust. I didn't, though.
Clothes dryer and a bucket of sand would probably work.
Plus you can sell the self-dismantled dryer for parts after.
If ya liked it then ya shoulda put ring mail on it
If ya liked it then ya shoulda put ring mail on it
If ya liked it then ya shoulda put ring mail on it
If ya liked it then ya shoulda put ring mail on itEdit: before any nerds weigh in, I know that's not ring mail.
Wife
"Glad to see you brought protection." 😈
Laugh at everyone who mocked me for carrying a SAK around.
Except that's the bottle opener...
We take Jerusalem!
This is the right answer
CALL THE LOCKSMITH!!!!!!!!!!!
Sauce: Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)
Locksmith lawyering intensifies
I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith.
Take her to paladinner and a movie?
(Sorry.)
beg her to marry me
I hear women love being begged for things
Girl, you're dressed to slay tonight.
Marry her?
Marry her.
I sense one or two potential red flags.
You’ve got mail!
FE-mail. (Because Fe is the chemical symbol for iron.)
You might be juuuust nerdy enough to win this fair knight's favor!
NI!
WD40
Let her conquer me.
DEUS VULT
Looks like I'm in for a good knight!
One knight stand?
The last knight standing must be a good knight.
Get excited about where ever we're going because I know it should be awesome
I would think there's a fair chance she might be interested in hearing all about my 18th level Paladin!
Gosh, is it warm in here?
Plate armor? With chainmail links that bad? You trying to get yourself killed?
Get either a piercing weapon to exploit weak points or a bludgeoning weapon to transmit force through the plate, because she's clearly here to do battle. Dinner can come AFTER I've defended my honor.
If you want to horse around, I think I have two coconuts in the trunk.
I would let her pull my sword for sure
Unfortunately, you have an Ex-caliber sword.
Immediately go buy a can opener?
What's a can opener? Kind of NSFW - like not really, but if someone walks in on you watching you'll have some explaining to do.
Yeaaahhhh. This is definitely still falling under the NSFW Category. :D
Not porn per se. But definitely not something to have playing at work. ^^
Rejoice! She brought protection!
Pretty iron-clad, too.
You don't need to put a ring on it...
... unless she was going to expand on the chain mail coif; then you'll need lots of rings.
Do you really want to be the first partner not to add a link to the chain?
Take her on a crusade to concur the holy land, start a quest to find the Holy Grail, and show her how to slay the dragon.
I concur
She could wear a trash bag if she's this cute, I'm still going out with her.
Relevant username.
"Oh shit. Why didn't you tell me we were going to a ren faire/Medieval Times? I would have dressed up too!"
Ask her if the maille is butted or riveted
Is your armor as riveted as I am?
Is your armor butted? ...would you like it to be?
Time to get medieval on dat ass.
Marry her!
Ask if her father was possibly a little overprotective.
'No daughter of mine is going out on a date without a full set of protection!'
You can never know when you end up in a battle.
Enjoy the ren faire.
This is the right answer. Maybe put my own gear on before we head out!
They say dress for the job you want...
That's a long wait for sex
Take Jerusalem! Deus Vult!
The only right answer.
I guess "joust her right then and there" also would be acceptable.
"I said we meat at night, not as knight"
We going to Medieval Times!
Traditionally, thrust. Thrust hard, aim for the belly.
I'm underdressed and didn't know it.
You can hold her lance and sheathe her sword.
I'll let her sheath her sword any day.
That would be awesome, but I would be severely underdressed.
I would be anyway.
"Hey I got your two handed sword right here!"
*grabs crotch*
*she takes a look*
"Oh that's more like a little pocket knife isn't it?"
*makes sad hurt male ego noises*\
kneels down, bowing my head against the flat of her long sword
"By the Lady before whom this sanctuary is holy, I will be true and faithful, and love all which she loves and shun all which she shuns, according to the laws of God and the order of the world. Nor will I ever with will or action, through word or deed, do anything which is unpleasing to her, on condition that she will hold to me as I shall deserve it, and that she will perform everything as it was in our agreement when I submitted myself to her and chose her will."
Then I'd take her out for pizza and bowling.
Badass.
Ask her to take down my enemies cause God put those hands on earth for throwing...Jesus they are huge!
She can slay my dragon any time.
Suggest a first date that involves a mosh pit.
Or swing dancing.
keep my lance hid until the joust begins
Don't try to hide my erection
Smile and lube up
Take out the ring
Joust!
Her lance is bigger than yours, now what?
Tell her we don’t have to go in her Tesla if she’s forced to wear that.
She still looks good. 🤔
Do you even joust, bro?
act as if it was completely normal just to throw her and everyone else off
I challenge thee to a duel
Quest for some sort of cup.
Mawwage......
Mawwage.. Is why.. We aw gavowed.. heea.. Twwoday.
