I don't get it. Where is the joke. (Seriously, I'm lost)
The link has extra panels and a comment from the artists that explains it more. This isn’t a joke so much as it is explaining their situation in a joking manner.
Amicable divorces are apparently funny?
I don't know. It's an odd one.
I do think amicable divorces are kind of a little funny
Comics don't have to have a joke, they can just tell a story. This is a nice story of two people who care for and support each other in spite of discovering their selves and life goals don't sync with continuing the original relationship. They manage to break up the romance with each feeling freed rather than dumped, so they can continue to be friends. Hopefully their eventual new partners will appreciate this.
The artist / writer literally mentions their joke in the bonus panel and they'd "die if they stopped being funny".
The funny part is supposed to be: my wife is single.
Pretty sure it's that they were a lesbian couple but one realises they're a guy and the other realises they want kids so they break up but remain besties and try to set the other up
That's pretty wholesome, tbh.
Part of the humor comes from subverting the expectations. You might expect this kind of conflict- that one wants kids the other doesn't, that one wants to change their gender expression into something the other doesn't like- to cause conflict. Fighting. Anger.
Instead they just fully support each other.
Further, it subverts the mainstream possessiveness of partners. It's very typical for people to be like "don't be interested in my partner!" Or to be very uncomfortable with their ex seeing other people. Instead, this person is being very supportive of their person.
A lot of behavior in typical monogamous relationships is really shitty and selfish.
It's not the funniest thing ever, but that's how I see the mechanics of it working. Subverting some relationship expectations.
Instead they just fully support each other.
The driver saying they don't line up with the passenger's preference is the driver thinking things should end for the benefit of the passenger. I'm pretty sure the driver is still into the passenger, so breaking up is for the benefit of the passenger.
The passenger wants kids and the driver doesn't. Breaking up is for the benefit of the passenger, not the driver.
So the driver is supportive of the passenger, but it is not reciprocated within this comic, including the extra panels.
It is still a positive outcome that is most likely a reflection of past support for each other that would add context, but if someone has only seen this one comic then it just looks like an amicable divorce with the driver hyping up their wife because the driver no longer align with their wife's wants and needs.
I expected a comic strip to have a decent punch line and actually try to make the reader chuckle.
Boy, were my expectations subverted.
To all of the people saying this is sad, not all relationships have to last forever.
It's okay to get separated, even if you are married. It's actually good to realize your differences, decide that you work better apart, and provide support to an ex-spouse emotionally while you move on with your life as well.
I'm not sure that I fully agree. I mean, to each their own etc., but what you're describing seems to be more suited for relationships without marriage. The whole idea of being married is that your discuss this stuff before your wedding and then don't just get separated because you "don't feel it anymore". The idea is that, if you feel like you drifted apart, that your work on that and don't just get out of that relationship on a whim. That's the promise you give. And even if you agree with your partner to just go separate ways (yeah yeah, consenting adults can do whatever the fuck they want, sure), a divorce has the significant chance to screw you financially for decades. I mean, I don't know how it is in the US, but I've seen too many people who got their finances completely fucked by partners that they consentingly parted ways with, who they swore would treat them fairly. Too many houses repossessed, too many careers ruined.
Is it okay to get separated? Sure. It's obviously also okay to remain close and support each other, of course. But this comic promotes a lighthearted approach to something that deserves a much more careful and serious take that I don't agree with. Those first few panels should have made them get counselling, not divorced.
Ok, I mean if you're getting financially screwed by your partner in a divorce, it's probably a good thing that you're getting divorced.
Lol why? what moral ground are you coming from to suggest that other people should be serious about what you think is serious? Nothing is serious, we're all just meat bags. If you want to get counseling go for it. For most people it's better just to divorce quicker and not prolong your dissatisfaction because of some weird social or pseudo-religious adherence to norms.
The whole point of marriage though is for it to last forever
The whole point of marriage used to be ownership, not anymore. Things change. Divorce is better than the alternatives. Cold bitter resentment that lasts until one of you dies and then just the feelings of what might have been. Or murder.
It's ok to change your mind. To grow apart. To recognize that and to act on it is a blessing.
Alright... So lesbian relationship. One of them decides they're not a woman anymore. They both decide to devorce..................
Maybe I'm missing something, but is there supposed to be a joke somewhere in here?
Their mutual regard for one another transcends what they want from the relationship, which contrasts humourously with hetero norms of trying to change one other to get what you want
The humor for me is that you kind of expect something like this to end in bitter tears and a sad goodbye, but they're both actually totally fine with a divorce and even hype each other up for new relationships.
A lot of trans discovery/coming out stories don't end very happily, so it's nice to see one that does.
This isn't the "jokes" community, it's the "comic strips" community
There’s a weird feel from this comic for me. I’m glad that these two people could have an amicable divorce. I think the thing that feels off is how casual the decision feels in the comic. I suspect this might be why some people are having a negative reaction as well.
Even if you think marriage isn’t forever, it’s still a promise to love and care about someone, to cherish them and share your life with them. I think if you’ve been in a marriage and seen your loved one through hard times together, this comic just feels capricious. A discussion about ending such an important component of your life happening in the span of two panels in a car ride just feels abrupt and unserious.
I imagine in real life the conversation was more serious and the impact of changing you relationship from one of romantic love to friendship weighed on both parties more than the comic has space to show.
If you’ve loved and supported your spouse through difficult and unexpected change or been the recipient of that love and support, this comic can feel dismissive. If you’ve gone through the heartache of losing your special person, even if they are still a part of your life, the celebratory tone sounds wrong.
I am happy that they can separate and still care about each other, but I also understand why people feel like something is wrong about the comic.
Sometimes big life decisions come easy. Sometimes small life decisions come hard (no double entendre intended). As long as they're both on the same page when it comes to commitment, hopefully the concerns you mentioned don't apply to them and we can feel happy about it as a third-party spectator.
I liked that about the comic.
Our society has adopted this expectation that once a relationship has turned into love, it must remain that, and if its not eternal soul mates in total devotion, it's not true love. You're not allowed to dial it down, take a break from it or return to being friends, or it's a "failed" relationship.
The message of the comic subverts this, showing that without such baggage, you could just change the relationship to something else and still be happy.
Instead, we assume from the beginning that the relationship is forever, throw our households together, and when the point would be right to return to normal friendship, we force ourselves to stick close until we can't stand each other anymore.
The comic isn’t talking about love, it’s talking about marriage.
I’ll preface this with the fact that I’m a straight male atheist, and I’m married. My wife and I have had rough patches, as every relationship does, but I made a commitment to her. I swore an oath that I would support her through whatever happens in this life. I didn’t swear this to God or anybody but her and myself.
I’m a very principled person, one of those principles is that if you say you’re going to do something, you should try your level best to do it until it becomes clear it’s not possible. I don’t make promises I don’t expect to keep.
The thing that strikes me as off about this comic is the fact that they are married. If they’d just been partners, then that’s one thing, there’s less commitment there. But marriage is a commitment to a person. It’s not a promise to having sex or feeling romantic every single day, but just a promise that you’ll be there with them during the good times and the bad times. That you’ll support them in what they want to do. There’s no need for these people to divorce if one of their sexualities is changing, because marriage isn’t about the sex.
If my wife told me out of the blue that she thought she was interested in women, or might be trans, I would never offer divorce first. We’d have a conversation about what that means for our romantic relationship, but I still respect and care for her as a person, and would feel like I’m failing as a husband if I wanted to cut and run during a hard transition like that. I made a commitment to her, and if that’s what she wants to do, then I’ll ride it out and make sure she has as many resources as she can for a major change like that, and I know she’ll do the same thing for me. Hard times and changes don’t mean the end of a marriage, it means it’s time to buckle down, come together with your partner, and come up with a plan on how to face it together.
I also respect that nuance like that is impossible to fit into a single page comic like this, and there does seem to be that message of supporting your partner in their decisions. I just have issue with the flippant call for divorce. Relationships and people do change, and it’s good to talk about that and acknowledge that that we should support people when they change, but divorcing them is not supporting them. The comic would have been just as good if they left out the panel about divorce and just went to “my wife is single” because an open marriage is still a valid marriage, it just means you’re not devoting your genitals to one person.
I agree with you that our society puts a lot of importance on love, maybe too much. I’ll always love my wife, eventually. Believe me, marriage is hard, you’re not gonna feel the warm fuzzies every day, or maybe even every week, but the point is that you try. I promised myself to her because I love her. But my takeaway is that I loved her so much for years, that I promised I would always be there for her even if we’re both sick, or I’m mad at her for something, or if she’s changing as a person, and she promised the same thing. That commitment is more important than the love, because love is temperamental. You marry someone because you love them so much, you promise to be there even when you may not be feeling that love.
I guess not all comic strips have to be funny or you know make sense.
Can't believe this out of all things completely confused Lemmy. When I saw this I thought it was sweet, not funny. Not every comic has to be haha funny. I can just hope for half of this experience if I ever feel like I'm no longer compatible with one of my partners.
Holy hell. I saw your comment first, then the rest. My favorite is the genius claiming this behavior is a symptom of narcissism.
If it stopped at the third or.the fourth showed each of them selling each other then it probably would've been a little less confusing to me. The ending makes it seem like she's more upset with him or something, idk. Then again it's 5:30 AM after bass music woke me up at 4:30 AM and I can still hear it through ear plugs.
What the fuck is this bullshit
I can't tell if the author was serious or trying to be funny.. I know I laughed at how dumb their dialogue sounds
inevitable consequence of the democratisation of publishing
What?
whomesome comic
Lemmy: where's the joke tho?Very nice though, amicable breakups/divorces are good.
I'm slightly confused, was this a lesbian relationship where the driver came to realize they are more gender fluid or a trans man? The rest I get.
I was confused too, but the blog mentions his pronouns as he/him, so that's the interpretation I also arrived at.
Seems like it, they are announcing that the wife is single to the ladies after all.
That’s my take on it, they’re lesbians and the driver realizes they’re more into men
No. The driver is still into women, but is realising that they prefer to present as mostly male, despite whatever their biology might be.
In oversimplified terms, you could say they're a straight man in a biologically female body.
The implication is that when they were dating and married, driver was presenting as more female or androgynous, and non-driver, presumably, has a preference for that.
However, it's not really that preference that's causing the real rift - if you love someone, you love someone - it's the desire for kids. Driver doesn't want them. Non-driver does.
They're both able to deal with this like adults. Win-win-win. (Third win is the eventual kid(s) who might get to have a cool uncle rather than a grumpy, distant dad. Assuming "uncle" and "dad" are terms driver would use anyway.)
They start discussing how to split their assets and suddenly it becomes less peaceful
That's amazing someone did that, and now we know they were all worthless anyway so it was even more ridiculous.
That's not funny that's just sad
But they are both happy now? They can still be best friends.
My brain hurts
Cringe
we used to call it caring
Why is it cringe?
It's making it out like such a revelation wouldn't be damaging. Being a single woman and not being young is not easy. Her taking it in stride like that is unrealistic.
Ask yourself how you would feel in that situation after investing years in a relationship. Would you be that thrilled to be on the dating scene again and having to start over with someone new?
Not saying it couldn't be amicable like it has been portrayed, but this strip makes it out like there is nothing sad or difficult about the situation, only focusing on the perspective/agenda of the trans person.
I feel like the fourth panel is what throws me off and left me scratching my head. Based on the previous one I'd imagine both of them to hype each other up, not just the man saying his former wife is single.
Is this supposed to be...a good outcome? I'm sad now!
I think if you're able to stay good friends with an ex-partner after a divorce, that's a good outcome.
Ending a relationship it's always, at least, a bit sad. But if that means that the people involved can continue to pursue happiness, and they can do that without resenting each other, that's cause of celebration.
I liked it. I think its sweet. They can still be besties (best friends) because they realize they aren't compatible romantically. I think its a sweet comic ❤️
I'm sure someone finds this relatable
Tossing relationships like this away is a sign of narcissism. It's fine to move on but it's definitely maladapted to be giddy about it.
"Several months ago" ... Not exactly suggesting it would happen over night. Recognizing a schism and supporting eachother through the changes in life is preferable to doing so depressed and hatefully, no?
Why should you have to be miserable about it? They still have a relationship, it's just no longer a romantic one.
I can hear that picture
really shit
I’d get a divorce if the person driving on the highway took both eyes off of the road.
You'd get a divorce if your partner checked the speedometer?
Yeah, I mean what is that shit
Forgive my ignorance, but what exactly is a boy side of the spectrum? I’m not familiar with the phrase.
It means they are transgender and possibly non-binary and identify as more masculine than feminine. So they are closer to "guy" than "girl" (but might identify as neither).
🤣🤣🤣
Reverse U-Haul uno card.
I know the original artist isn't in this thread, but I just wanted to say, artistically, they express a level of dynamism that's lacking in a lot of artists.
I can see a favorable comparison to somebody like Kyle Baker who is just a freakin' MASTER of dynamism.
Shouldn't it be "My ex-wife is single"?
This would have been easier to follow if they kept the same outfits throughout the comic.
It took me a second to work out who was who in the last panel.
People are getting way too weird about this post. Sure, the decision seems kinda flippant but sometimes that's how life is. It's also a short comic. I kinda relate as a gay man because when I got married to the love of my life, I felt like it was a permanent decision and I stressed out about it big time. When I talked to my then boyfriend about it, he seemed so unworried about it and made me realize that if we needed to get divorced, it wasn't the end of the world. We respect each other enough to be able to communicate our needs and work things out. People in the comments here making out like divorce is inherently tragic and should be avoided at all costs. The connection that you have with and individual that you love transcends that.
Wholesome AF.
I hang out with many queer and poly people that this didn't even seem unusual. Sometimes I forget how basic and unexamined most people's relationships are.
Kind of a missed opportunity to examine other relationship models, but can't have everything.
My guess why this comic is confusing people here is simply due to the fact that the Lemmy community is primarily made up of middle aged straight men, many of whom have probably dealt with bitter divorce and find the base concept of this comic impossible to relate to.
Man, that is not my take on the lemmy community lol.
Are you a middle age straight man?
If enough people don't understand it, chances are the joke wasn't fully flushed out. I understand it I just don't think the punch line hit as well as it was intended. Maybe the last pane could have them having coffee and saying those things to an obvious suitor. Just an idea.
I disagree with the idea "you need to make your media as stupid as any potential audience". Sometimes, people are too dumb to get something, and that's okay.
