This has to be fake.
4chan posts are never fake though
Get a girlfriend, fap in her shower
I moved in with mine; now I can fap anywhere in the house. She likes watching me do it. I find it awkward but whatever. At least I don't have to pretend that the crumpled up bits of toilet paper everywhere are "snot rags" anymore.
Edit: What's with the downvotes?
Is she checking her own socks and underwear?
Anons mum isn't checking her own underwear with a UV light...
what do you mean by this
I'm saying anon should cream into his mum's panties.
Naughty America 💋
You fucking move out. That's not just abusive - it's sociopathic.
Just remember to jerk off on her pillow first.
It seems more controlling than sociopathic. Sociopathic would be if the mother received pleasure from hurting him and others in some deranged and unnecessary manner. For example, she would find a way for him to hurt himself and others while taking care of business, while she enjoys the pain he and others experience.
into the toilet???
also, why not toilet paper instead of tissues??
Jesus fuck man, what kind of plumbing blocks with jizz? I could literally eat prunes and tortillas for a week and still waffle-stomp my turd down a 40mm pipe
Semen is actually fairly similar to egg whites (it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes). This means that when it gets hot, it cooks, and basically becomes solid.
The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes. This is also why you should use cold water to wash it out of hair.
The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes.
100% untrue.
While you're right that proteins can caugulate a little, this is a common urban legend that was started with a prank note left in a dorm bathroom many years ago.
https://deadspin.com/will-semen-destroy-your-shower-drain-1795434004/
"Abraham Morgentaler, an associate professor of urology at Harvard Medical School and the director of Men’s Health Boston, debunked the rumor for us once and for all. In an email to Slate, Morgentaler says that not only is semen never thick enough to clog a drain, but that 20 to 30 minutes after ejaculation, it will become a runny liquid and slide away:"
I can't understand how we got to the point with this that people have written thousands of articles about it and consulted with medical professionals. We really need better education in this country.
The water from the shower head cools down about 10°C before it hits the ground (go sit down in the shower for once, it gets damn cold). Some more degrees gone before it's washed away. Proteins become solid above 42°C, that's why you'd die if your body temp goes over that limit. You're saying you shower in 55°C+ water? Damn, your skin must be so extremity burned after all those showers, you probably look like Freddy Kruger.
Mix in hair and you get a plumbers omelette
waffle-stomp my turd
Bruh 😂
I am definitely old. I no longer understand the internet.
Do your own laundry.
That's a bit extreme don't you think?
What kind of Wooldoor Sockbat cum clogs a shower? This is so idiotic.
But... but... people wouldn't just go and make shit up on the internet, would they?
There's STILL people who believe semen can clog showers because of a single prank at a campus years and years ago.
https://deadspin.com/will-semen-destroy-your-shower-drain-1795434004/
Oh you sweet summer children, I take it you were never in the army, or else you would know of the dreaded desert jellies, and what it means to be on shower detail
But that was many, many men and not a single one.
I'd rather be on the front line.
With how plumber quality is in some parts? That's believable.
what kind of semen clog the shower drain?
More like "what kind of shower drain is clogged by semen". And indeed, there are some. One at a place I've lived had a filter that had to be cleaned every now and then. No fapping in it was a given, but even some melted soap that re-hardens in it could end up clogging it.
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I'm not entirely sure that what you were cleaning was soap. 👀
what the fuck are you talking about
his mom told him.
There is either:
- A backstory we are missing
- Anon has a weird fetish
- mom has a weird fetish
- story is fake and straight
- story is real and gay
- some combination of the above
- The story is bisexual and has a quantum physics relationship with the truth
You really thing an anon would do that? Just tell a lie?
On the internet? In 2025? Surely not.
It's obvious fake, but this was almost the norm (it's overblown in the "story" ofc) in the nineties, you wouldn't go to the computer with a paper towel lol.
Before smartphones, people were spying on everyone else just out of boredom and keeping mental notes about the smallest things, also all the sex stuff was not really taught in school and everyone was interested in it but nobody talked about it.
Very different times.
especially since the computer was mostly in the living room, for all to see and use.
I came of age before smart phones in NY. We had sex education. We had late night fuzzy adult TV stations that had porn on them and we had porno mags and what not. I got my first phone at 14 and it was an LG flip phone where you had to press the numbers multiple times to get the right letter to send a text, so texts were short. No internet or camera on the phone either. The iPhone came out in 2007, the same year I graduated high school. There were some proto “smart” phones that came out before like the blackberry and the sidekick but their “smart” features like the internet were cumbersome to use.
It was definitely different times but by no means were we living in the dark about sex, and society pushed sex pretty hard because it sells. Now I guess with the constant screen bombardment it feels inescapable but that’s tech in 2024 for ya.
Slightly unrelated, I’d be thrilled to get a blackberry similar to the one I had in college only add todays cameras, gps, spotify and snake for boredom and I’d be set.
I dont remember that.
Eh
No.
What? What the fuck are you talking about mate? What kind of weird ass place did you live in the 90’s? Like did porn magazines and late night cable TV not exist where you were?
It's nonsense bullshit, maybe bordering on fetish-bait.
The semen clogging the drain part is a dead giveaway, because that's not a thing.
It became an urban legend because of a college prank years and years ago, and since then many young guys with limited critical thinking or reading comprehension failed to connect with the part of the prank that made it a prank, IE: that it's not true.
anon is larping his mommy dom fetish that's all
Well it's definitely not 5 on either count
Just eat it you coward.
Face glows when mom turns on the UV.
Start watching sissy hypnosis videos to condition yourself into eating it, obviously. It's the only undetectable disposal method.
Time to break your hands
OH NO
Arms.
I think you need to fuck your mom…
Blow your load on her bedsheets
Why not simply overflow her with your cum tissues? She’s your mom, so you should know her inside and out, so her buffer should be accessible. I ask for 257 tissues every day and my mom has no idea
I like that this implies that OP's mom uses an 8 bit counting system
I'm imagining her at a super expensive restaurant getting a bill for like $547 and thinking "wow, this only cost $35!"
Mom uses
uint64sorry
I don't know why people are a) taking this even jokingly half serious and b) suggesting all sorts of weird and complex solutions when surely a 22-year could just buy whatever.
If his mom is doing that, it's likely he doesn't have a job because she won't let him.
You genuinely believe a 22-year old to be on such a tight leash that they cant' stuff their pockets with a bit of paper anywhere? If if he never has the money to buy a roll of toilet paper, which isn't the most expensive item honestly, he could just walk to a fastfood joint and take some napkins.
Stop buying into the stupidest shit people write, sheesh. You're the type to think reality TV is real, aren't you?
Buy a small area rug for the front of your bed and move it before bed, then Roll over on your side and cum on the carpet. Problem solved.
Bro wtf
i'm smelling some human rights abuses here
I don't know how you can smell anything over that massive pile of bullshit.
you have no idea
some parents do be like that
Use her panties and socks.
How can you be 22 without your own money. Go buy tissues and tell your mum to mind her own business.
There's this apparatus called washing machine.
This is how incest porn originates
Get a chastity fetish.
His mother already seems to have one. Maybe he can borrow it from her.
Or break your arms.
Did you try to grow up and move out?
buying a house? in this economy??
Easy solution: wake up from the delusion. Its made up.
The answer is incest
That's always the answer
Does uv light actually do that? I thought they had to spray some stuff to make it actually detect fluids.
Body fluids can be detected just with a UV light yes.
Watch Gordon do it to a gross hotel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ4ZAZJphx4
The stuff youre talking about where forensic scientists spray stuff, they're spraying Luminol to detect trace amounts of blood because it reacts with the iron in the blood traces and makes it luminescent enough for it to be photographed in a darkened room even without UV.
Luminol is a chemical that reacts with hemoglobin to glow where very small amounts of blood might have been. That's usually sprayed, for detecting much smaller concentrations than what would show up under a UV light. That might be what you're thinking of.
I know from personal experience that splooge does not fluoresce under uv. Pee does however.
If my son was living NEET I would take away masturbation privileges too so he would move the fuck out.
and become homeless I guess
What? No. I’m not kicking them out into the streets. But I will absolutely incentivize moving out. You can’t just do NOTHING about having a NEET child, that’s bad parenting. So is forcing your children to be homeless.
And what about when they call your bluff and turn "semen inspection time" into a "guess where I came this time" game?
Then combine it with the "release numbered animals" and say there was n+1 to find when there's really only n.
Ahahahaha well I guess then I’ll have to kick em out. Can’t outsmart me when I hold the trump cards.
What a culture!
So you would rather protocol and document your child's masturbation behavior than just telling them to pay rent or get out? Both would be a lot less awkward, but thats just me i guess
