What are some silly ways to say you gotta go poop?

someone's faxing me a snickers

Dropping the kids at the pool.

In our language "sitting" is a synonym of "meeting". So in the office setting, I always say "I have an important sitting coming up".

Honk out a dirt snake

"Gotta use the sandbox"

Lay a sewer pickle

"I gotta go do some paper work" or "I need to get something down on paper" are my two go-tos

I've got shit to do

"I need to poo-poo in the pot-tay"

"I'm sitting on a cigar"

I need to go 3D print something.

i say “gotta go log out”

i do freelance work with technology, and the clients think i am going to do something work related and technical.

I gotta drop the Browns off at the Superbowl.

I'm gonna try and lose some weight

The chocolate bus honks.

Gotta paint the town brown

Gotta curl one out

Gotta pinch a loaf

My favorite is, "boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. I'll be back in awhile."

Gotta make a deposit at the porcelain ATM.

I'm gonna run for the White House

"Gotta see a man about a dog."

Had a coworker that would go the the bathroom and sit in there for 10 to 15 so I started calling it a "Tony ten-er."

I find myself quoting a line from Farscape a lot:

Must...Excrete...

A silly Dutch one is saying you got a fax from Darmstad, which is a city in Germany but also Darm=intestines and Stad=city.

I'm gonna go drop the kids off at the pool

Touching cotton, gotta go.

Turtle's poking its head out.

Farting freckles.

Making fuzzy rope

"All hands rig for dive. DIVE DIVE DIVE"

And my absolute favorite to use in the office or around older family / the youngins, "I gotta go make"

Gotta make room for dinner

"Gotta go read The Hobbit" after my dad claimed he could do it in one 'sitting'.

In Dutch or Flemish at least we say: Ik moet een grote boodschap doen.

Which is a literal translation for: I have to make a big message.

Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl

(the cleveland browns are an american football team)

"I'll be right back, gotta check if the bathroom still works"

Not exactly an answer to your question but hey what a coincidence

Gotta drop the kids off at the pool

I need to pinch a loaf.

Gotta send teal'c through the stargate.

I quote cars.

If I have to pee I'll say "I have to pee" if I have to shit I say "I have to go to the bathroom"

Gotta work my shift at the fudge factory.

There's a rumble in the Bronx

There's big trouble in little China

The spice must flow

Time to go take the Browns to the Super Bowl.

I need to practice the tuba.

“Drop a grumpy”

– Johnny Depp testifying against Amber Heard

Edit: https://youtu.be/O95wvE-9XJg?si=rk6_raHl-lMeyX6l

Hard insider, "Doing an Olli". We had a coworker named Oliver and when ever we were at a customer on site he not only showed up late but always went straight for the toilets making us wait even longer.

Not pooping, but whenever i have gas, I say I ate a kitten. Not many people get it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sjRO6BQFMw

"Gotta sit on my thinking chair for a bit" or "lemme go listen to my own shit for a while"

Usually in dutch tho, "ff op de denkstoel zitten" or "even naar m'n eigen gezijk luisteren"

Evicting a slug

For when I have to take a piss I like to say "I'll have to take a trip to the drinks return"

Works a bit better in German because of our bottle return system

I tell my wife I have to go blast a dookie.

It’s a Simpson reference.

Sorry im late for the meeting folks. I just took a massive bio break.

I have to see a man about a horse.

I sometimes say that I have to powder my nose.

Gotta run, I'm groundhogging!

Two of my favourites are:

• I'm touching cloth.
• Dropping the kids off at the pool.

Time to lighten my load.

My IBS is flaring up. Be back in 30.

I gotta go hang a mud snake.

Instant weight loss plan.

I have to turn a bolus

I'm gonna knit a brown sweater. If you guess what I'm gonna do, I'll let you have half of it.

I tell my dog "dookies get cookies" when she's taking too long to find the PERFECT spot to drop a giant soft serve ice cream cone.

Gotta go ponder the mysteries of the universe.

Gotta go release my fear.

Gotta go pop a squat.

Gotta go stop a penalty kick.

Toodle-oo (to the loo) as you leave the room. That's what I say to my cats at least.

Gotta unload

Gotta shake a tit.

I have to back one out

"I gotta see a man about a horse" Cowboy Curtis used this one on Pee Wee's Playhouse

Train's coming in to the station, I can smell the smoke.

I'm off to strain the spuds.

Do pardon my absence, for it seems my coffee has stimulated gastrin production, triggering peristalsis and thus motility of a log flume near my nethers.

Time for the most productive part of my day

I send out meeting invites in outlook for "office time"

I'm going to the field office.

There’s been a pileup on the dirt highway. This food baby’s breech!

Choke Jürgen or cook Jochen. Doesn't even make sense in German.

When I’m hanging out with the lads I like to announce that I’m going for an [insert friend’s name] out of my [insert other friend’s name].

I’ve gotta push a Steve out of my Bradley.

I got the plopples

Imma go look for some tile'd poetry

I'm kingly but I gotta get rid of this crown

(These were made up on the spot, enjoy)

I gotta go shake a tit

Though it's in Spanish, a good translation would be: The mole is poking out.

My go-tos are:

• I have to see a man about the pipes
• I have to make a long visit (usually say that one in Dutch)
• I have to do some paperwork
• I'm off to sit on the throne

10-2

I have a little piece of work to do

“Time for a reverse shower!”

(I have a bidet)

Pinching a loaf.

When I was a kid I would say I needed to "go ball-balls."

Touching Cloth