chaotic evil is for me

To anyone who does anything other than twist and tuck:

get a life

I use the clip if I can find it....

.... I mean, was RIGHT HERE a second ago...
- I use the clip until there's enough slack to do the twist and tuck.
- They're not as good since switching to cardboard anyway
I twist and roll the excess bag over the bread. Kinda like how you do socks
- This is the way.
Tie a knot you monster!
I'm with you!
I don't see what's wrong with it at all, solid foolproof method, I'd airlock my spaceship like that

Breadboxes are bullshit and you know it

They just make me forget about the bread.
- Sounds like an scp report.
- Free penicilin.
- Sometimes my mind needs a break.
You put the bread in the box, while using one of the other methods.

The box is there to look pretty.
- The only thing a breadbox has done for me is give me molded bread the next day. Every time.
Do people still use these? I haven't seen one since my great aunt's house in the early '90s, and I'm certain it was never used for bread. Still remember the smell of that kitchen. Picked up the early, mineral tones of her weird, dank basement. God damn, I played a lot of Megaman 2 in that basement.
Depends. Do you have adhd so you forget to take your meds if they're in your messy cupboard but also have a cat that might pee on it if left in an open basket on the kitchen table while you're not home?

Because in my experience, a breadbox is great for that 😂
My gram used to put the bread and crisps in the oven when the oven wasn't being used :)
- We used to do that in my old tiny apartment until one of us forgot and turned the oven on.

My brother liked to tear open the bag in the middle, then leave it as is in the open.

I guess he's Chaotic Evil Demon King
- It's just chaotic evil.
  
  Leaving the bag open should be chaotic neutral. It's a sign of somebody shifting focus with neither good nor bad intentions.
See, this is more like chaotic evil. Most of this chart is just normal behavior.
Satan fears your brother
Is your brother a cat?
I'm hoping your brother was 3-5. Anything after that should have been slapped out of him.
- He did that as a teen...
Chaotic Breadhitler

Put it in the freezer.

I didn't know humans are capable of such monstrosity
- Why are you booing me, I'm right!
  
  Big bread just wants you to throw away bread and buy more.
- It's bread. Bread is freezable. Same with cakes. You have definitely eaten defrosted bread and not even known it. You can freeze it 100 times and you won't be able to tell the difference.
- Once upon a time when toasters didn't need high tech computers, it was possible to get a perfectly toasted piece of bread from frozen. There was a bimetallic strip that sensed the temperature of the bread, so it would always be consistent. This made freezing bread much more practical
- It'll stay fresh much longer
- All the beead in the supermarkets comes from the frozen section. They take a big patch every night for the next day to defrost before adding it to the shelves.
This is how I keep an eight pack of burger buns fresh. Also freshly cooked freezes flawlessly.
I usually buy bread from Sam’s Club/Cosco and it comes in 2 packs so that’s usually what I do with the extra loaf. I don’t refreeze a loaf or just grab a frozen slice and microwave it or something though. I have standards
- You can just throw a frozen slice in the toaster and you'll get good at timing whether you want a thawed or toasted slice before you know it.

Chaotic neutral for life.

For people who value time as much as bread freshness.
Seriously, why anything else, it is the best seal and it is the fastest way. As long as you're not going to travel with your bread, you don't need an attach.
I switch between chaotic neutral and neutral evil based on how much bread remains

I've started making my own bread and keeping it in a bread box. This alignment is called "lawful insufferable"

Bread boxes promote mold growth.
- I haven't found anything that isn't akin to old wives tales backing this claim up. Got any sources?
- Mine is just a foodsafe plastic bin which gets cleaned out every week. My loaves scarcely last long enough to go off anyway 🤭
  
  See? Insufferable.
- Free penicilin.

I worked at a restaurant that was big on breakfast for many years. When our manager needed to open a new bag, she would tear a hole it half way down the bag and start pulling bread from the middle. The only option we really had was to put it into another bag.

Satan

I am lawful and chaotic neutral.

yeah, we all know air can‘t twist, chaotic neutral is sufficient
Twist and reuse clip? Absolutely.

Chaotic neutral. Only way to live.

I don't understand why the twist and tuck is seen as a bad thing. It's a tight seal that is effortless to both do and undo.
- Cuz it can fall apart if moved or slid. Needs to be redone when picked up.
I agree
I do that if I lose the original bread tag.

If I still have the tag, it's twist and tag.

Though with modern cardboard tags, it's a bit more difficult and the tags wear out more quickly.

Lawful neutral. I'm surprised more people don't just use the clip that came with it. It's kept the bread fresh the whole time up to you acquiring it, so why not keep using it?

Because bread is stocked daily, so the clip hasn't done much, and many of the methods are a tighter seal or just faster
Because those little fuckers are fun to flick across the room, then get lost under the couch.
Canada Bread has switched to using paper clips. They deform and break after so many reapplies. The twist and tuck is the next best option.
- I haven't had a problem with them so far, but I can see how they are more flimsy compared to the plastic ones
I haven't seen a bread clip in what? 15 years.
- How is bread packaged and sealed where you are?
Where i live the plastic is actually kind of stuck together and clip just makes sure it stays that way. Once you open it the first time the clip won't have the same effect anymore

You guys don't have a bakery every few streets ? I buy a few baguettes daily, several times a day.

Edit : a few baguettes for several people, am not some kind of 400lb duck monster.

No one needs that much bread.
- I think you’re responding to a large duck, or perhaps several regular ducks packed into a long coat.
- See, that's what the king said ..
- You know how in asia they eat everything with rice ? Here, we eat everything with bread. I never thought of it before but does seems a bit weird. Most our food is home made and we somewhat eat a lot of soup. You can make more than dozens of different recipe by throwing stuff and seasoning into boiling water. You can then eat it with some bread or pour it over other stuff.
Baguette bread is terrible though. Way too hard. Anyway most Americans live further than a mile from somewhere with bread, that's far too much work.
No, far cheaper to buy in bulk at the superstore

Wait, what’s the “bottle hack?”

I scrolled through so many comments to see if anyone was just going to let that one go un-asked! I started reading the chart from the bottom and got to chaotic good last and went from leaning back in my chair to fully forward when I read it. Was like car tire screech "What the fuck is the bottle hack?!?!?" lol
I think chaotic good should be you tie it with a loop. It's firmly tied closed, but you just have to pull at the end and it comes open

Proudly Chaotic neutral.

Efficient and lazy, that's my way!
- Good enough is good enough for me

My bread last so long because I twist and tuck in a bread box.

What about the knot that pulls apart effortlessly? I've been doing those all my life

I tighten bread bag knots to punish people for their hubris.
I am so grateful to the person who taught me that. I didn't forget about you, Alice.

imagine tying a knot on the end of the bag, as far from the bread as possible, and just cutting it off and retying every time you want bread

every time you want bread

And now I wonder why did I even stop at this thread at all.

What is this "bottle hack"?

Cut off the top inch or so of a plastic bottle and put the top of the bag through it. You can then twist the cap back on the bottle to seal the bag

https://youtu.be/yQsEd7m38Iw?si=vgDBwJlSyU6SwcTt
- That makes sense for beans, but bread?
- The original DiWhy, at least for bread

I dont understand bread bins. How do they not just make the bread stale

They do, you should always use one of the other methods to close up the bag, then put it in the bin
Depends on the bread and the bin. My parents have a pottery one, it keeps proper bread perfectly fresh. Of course you do need to eat a bit at least every day/every other day, because the cut side will dry out eventually.

Maybe that's mostly the bread doing all the work though. I don't know how you can store toast for any practical amount of time without consuming more preservatives than bread, lol
If you leave bread fully enclosed in plastic, all the moisture from the crumb moves into the crust and makes it soggy. But it doesn't dry out.

If you leave it just open, it dries out.

That's why (real) bread is best stored in a paper bag or in an unglazed ceramic bread bin. Those two materials allow for a slow exchange of air, therefore keeping the crust crunchy and the crumb soft.
- I guess I dont have to think about this for my loaf of bleached supermarket bread
- what if i like soggy bread

Flip lawful and true neutral, otherwise good chart

lawful neutral, then chaotic neutral when i lose the thingy

I appreciate any effort to “close” the bag.

Does nobody else buy bread that has a twist tie instead of a clip?

chaotic evil is tying a not because theyre impossible to get open again

It's evil, but not chaotic. It's closed after all, so I'd say this fits lawful evil perfectly.
- Chaotic evil is throwing the bag away and leaving the loaf out.

I'm a cross between lawful and chaotic neutral. I use the clip, but also twist and tuck.

Why use many thing when weight of bread will do

Not to gripe at a funni meemee or anything but it's interesting how 2 out of 3 the "good" options revolve around straight up consumerism.

"Think about how organized you would be if you had a special box to store your sliced bread!?! (Nevermind the fact that this totally unnecessary as the bread already comes in packaging that is both more airtight and likely more sterile)"

The environment weeps.

Also bag clips break. A rubber band or a knot (one you sure you can untie).

I usually use "just tucking", though.
People put bread just loose in a breadbox? That's disturbing. Keep the bread in the bag, but put it in the box so it doesn't get squished.

Chaotic neutral here. The twist tie that comes with the bag immediately goes in my twist tie collection.

twist tie collection

twist tie collection

Are you a crow?
- Possibly.. 🐦

Neutral evil and chaotic evil bread bag practitioners are NOT invited to my house.

Neutral evil.. Too lazy to twist.

The twist keeps the bread thieves away. The equivalent to wearing a blanket as protection against monsters.

Bread box? I haven't seen one of those in decades. Maybe they have changed but they are just to make the kitchen look nice right? They don't actually preserve anything right? If you live in a humid environment that bread is going bad immediately unless you put it in an air tight container. Mold loves water.

I use bag and twist tie or clip all of the way. If I am going to use it fast or freeze it if I am not going to finish it within a few days.

Ours is in use to keep the damn cat from eating through the bag.
I use a breadbox for homemade bread and it keeps it good for a while.
- Does it seal the bread or anything? From a pure preservation standpoint does the bread last longer outside of a bread box vs inside?
  
  Does blocking the light prevent bread from going off?
I put the bag in the bread box. It does look nice.
I was always pro-breadbox until I moved to an area with lots of roaches. Now, it's sealed boxes all the way

True neutral and chaotic neutral should switch

I am lawful neutral but my mom's lawful evil and she throws the fucking thing away so I can't even do it :((

I’d have swapped true and lawful neutrals. True neutral is using what came with it, surely? Even though a band is better.

Lawful>chaotic isn't about better>worse. If anything, using the gear that came with the product is the definition of lawful in this context. Lawful is more about following the expectations of society. That's not the full meaning, but close enough for this post. If anything, I would swap true neutral and chaotic neutral.

Lawful neutral until the last 2-4 slices then neutral evil

You mean until the plastic bit breaks off from the bigger plastic bit

It depends a lot wheter you live on your own or with your parents.

You mean my kids?

I never expected to be in the neutral evil segment here...

I honestly don't see the problem. I'm not putting that little bread clip back on the bag once it's off.
- Who folds without twisting??
  
  (Ok I do sometimes, but I know it’s wrong.)
You look good tucked though.

Normally I'm chaotic neutral, but sometimes I forget and end up being chaotic evil lol

Lawful neutral, moving to chaotic neutral when I get down to a few slices.

Brother.

Usually chaotic neutral for me, I've never seen a. Rubber and on bread before tho

neutral good most of the time

sometimes lawful neutral

if I'm lazy, neutral evil

i do chaotic neutral cause it's essentially neutral evil but with at least the illusion of a more secure seal

What does it mean for me that I would twist and tuck into the bread box....

Wait, I do a similar one to the twist and tuck but what I do is that I twist it and then partially re-cover the remaining breads, would that put me with the twist and tuck people or an I something else?

'fraid so. Chaotic and all that

Im consistently suprised how often i emd up on the neutral side in those memes. This time lawful neutral

Chaotic neutral

Usually neutral good, but if I can't find the clip, I'm neutral evil.

Chaotic neutral. Who knew that bread was such a sage.

I used to be a chaotic evil, but then I learned how to actually tie things. Not a joke I'm autistic and couldn't get the hang of tying until well into my adulthood when it became required for my job that I get tying down.

I just leave bread on the table and throw out the bag.

And what is just tucking in a breadbox?

Where does leaving it out in the open fit?

Neutral Evil for me. Almost the laziest option, but willing to put in the barest amount of effort.

Chaotic evil, we keep the bread in the fridge.

My wife does this for some reason.
- That just makes it go stale faster

Slipknot all day everyday. Fast to tie and untie nothing to lose like a clip or a rubber band. Plus it's just a small bit of fun

Haven't heard that song. Did they drop a new single?

What is the bottle hack? I do the old twist and tuck, but I store it in the oven, which is just a big bread box.

I am lawful evil, future me has been cursing past me ever since

No love for twist ties here

NG. Maybe LN. But I had a housemate who was pretty much CE.

Clothespins for me. I hate plastic. Yearning for non plastic bags now.

lawful neutral

I try to be lawful neutral but just end up doing chaotic evil. Anyway who wants stale sourdough as hard as a rock?

Chaotic evil ಠ_ಠ

So I’m neutral good and my wife is lawful neutral. At least we’re partially aligned.

Never been called NE before 😄

Knot with a little loop pushed through for easy opening and tuck.

Chaotic evil if I can get away with it. Otherwise either neutral evil or chaotic neutral.

Chaotic neutral, except I don't tuck it

I know this kind of post is not supposed to be taken seriously, but they're so haphazard and forced that I don't find them funny. I'm getting sick of these billions of poorly-thought-out "moral + lawful alignment" charts for things that have little to no morality or lawfulness attached, trying to tell us what kind of person we are if we do what, and being wildly off-the-mark. For this one and most others, most of the entries are "lawful good/neutral", because they are valid and effective ways to protect your fucking bread, done by someone who sees it important to do so. If you really want to start categorizing the way tons of different people do shit, find a more appropriate format.

Every time one of those charts comes up I'm somehow always marked chaotic neutral.

I switch between chaotic neutral and neutral evil.

lawful neutral until i lose it then chaotic neutral. both times i put it in a bread box bagged unless the bread box has a piece of junk mail i left on top of it.