Patch this Bish!

Eternal life is p2w coming with season pass

These days it ain't looking like a bunch of us ought to live forever.

How do you picture it? Like a spider monkey, a fox, or like one of those hippopotamus's who helicopter chops their shit everywhere?

One sounds useful, one sounds cute, one sounds like your asserting dominance over unexpecting persons waiting in queue

A lot of Bioluminiscence, but Infrared light as almost in any living be, which we can't see without special devices.

Structural weakness not only in the lower back, but also in the knees. The human being still has many reminists of an quadruped, as one of the younger species. He still has a way to be optimized as bipedo. Lower back and knees are still not optimized for this, apart of some other static and organic problems. We are still in phase beta.

TIL
Thanks for the link! This is really awesome.

Thank you, I came here to say the same thing. The problem isn't that we don't glow, it's the fact that our eyes suck.

There's also the weird decision to put a bunch of easily-bruised bones in your butt which would normally be used for a tail.

I once had a creationist defend the coccyx as being necessary for keeping muscles together. That was fun.

You're just supposed to bite that bit off. Otherwise it's just going to keep happening.

on accident

Rather than by purpose? #54%

Exercice helps but 3rd party tool are often still needed.

They just need to eliminate diminishing returns that they introduced back in the beta.

The engineer solution: back to egg laying, which also fixes menstruation

Agreed, that shits rough on people. Impacts of teeth and post-partum. Yet a funny thing there is that we can tell you down to the day you were impregnated by the growth of the fetus.

Next person. Sir drink this stuff to make you shit your brains out and I'm going to shove my finger in your ass to see if we can get a scope of what your insides are like.

Just divide at a cellular level, nature has already solved this problem! Upstart life forms these days thinking they can reinvent the wheel.

Remove hangovers

I'd like to be able to alter body hair density based on climate.

For some reason when I read this I read "Reticulating Splines" instead of reinforced spines. I was like wow random sims reference.

What's the laryngeal nerve and what's wrong with it?

I like baldness and body hair! They should be optional too

Let’s also reroute the ulnar nerve, thx

added ability to change biological sex

PLEASE

i'm not sure i want to know what the first point would look like, moving either the genitals or the anus sounds horrifying, and i especially don't want to imagine where penis wielders would urinate or ejaculate from if those functions are separated..

..perhaps we'd do like octopi, reach under and fetch a sperm package that we present instead of a wedding ring? Or maybe let's just leave it like it is and not create horrors.

Reabsorption of uterine lining is called being "in heat" in dogs and cats. It's quite common in the animal world, and it makes all the males very rapey.

One of the prevailing theories about why humans pair bond is our males can't tell when our females are ovulating/menstruating so it's advantageous to be kinder and stick around for more sex.

TL;DR: I think that's not a great idea.

Would that fix our carbonmonoxide weakness?

Yeah, it's crazy to me that people believe we were "intelligently designed" when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.

This is actually a result of changes to our larynx and stuff, which allows us to make such a variety of sounds when speaking. In other animals (and human babies), the air and food tubes are physically separated at rest. But in humans, our epiglottis can't properly keep things separate because our larynx is further down in our throat.

So, I'm gonna have to deny this request on the grounds that it will necessarily break the speech feature, which many of our users depend on heavily.

Wasn't this a compromise that allows speech? Babies can drink and breathe at the same time.

"left user note to pause breathing while swallowing to prevent esophageal trespass when backup breathing interface used for food consumption. No change recommended to emergency breathing access. Closing DOC_UPDATE"

Wait, you can't eat and breathe through the same hole?

We used to do the vitamin c but then were like its too easy to get elsewhere why bother.

And radio waves!

Apparently a lot of males are still in alpha.

ironically we may well have been the only somewhat intelligently designed animal for a long time, since there's a pretty good argument that we're self-domesticated.

so like, we're not just a prerelease, we're a fucking fork of a prerelease

Don't body-shame.
(Unless it's part of some shame kink, but otherwise the 'tiny vampiric penis' folk easily takes offence & can swarm you.)

I'd like to add depression and anxiety to fixing ADHD as an individual can exhibit all three.

This can be split into several patches if necessary.

Or, like, at least a caffeine gland or something.

No, you just get a new set growing in the gums.

You clip them like nails.

Maybe we could get rows like sharks

An ass-needed thing?

I want to know at what wavelengths. Did I miss it?

It bugs me that they say 'it's not infrared - it's photons!' (paraphrasing).

It'll be fixed when we starting storing element counts as 64-bit integers (instead of 32-bit).

I think that's just kidney 2.0 right?

That’s going to take some time, it’s a kernel bug.

We'll start the carcinisation tree in 3.0.

or, as I've taken to calling it "hu plus man"

This needs the confused screaming meme with KERNEL PANIC text, haha

Yes, too many of the current subprocesses are just straight up cruel (most often directly to the local machine root loser user). It feels like someone wrote it as a placeholder/prototype or a sadistic joke & they just went with it, no revisions.

We require too much power for it to suffice alone, but it would be nice to have as a hybrid source of energy!

I think life would be a little better if we cranked up the gay gene. Y'all know how to party.

All eugenics is pseudoscience garbage.

Well if we want to get pedantic, adrenaline exists.

And x~gamma ray to prevent nuclear radiation burns.

And some electromagnetic field sensors to prevent magnets from 'being magic'.

just slap them on the humans

You don't just want to fix one human, you want to fix all the offspring as well.

I've read a while ago that the only vew spiders who occasionally eat them don't really like them either, because they have low nutritional value. In short, mosquitos are pretty much useless.