Fast for 24 hours then use an anal douche. This should completely clear your digestive track.
Now eat for the next 24 hours while measuring everything you eat. Every time you poop make sure to measure it, either my measuring the poop directly (poop in a bowl?) Or by measuring the difference in weight after you poop (be sure to first pee as to not measure liquids)
Now fast for another 24 hours while continuing to measure your poop. By the end of it you should have to total weight you eat and the total weight you pooped. For most foods you can probably reduce the weight by half to account for liquids (most will be pee, some will be in your poop, this will depend on the liquidness of your poop)
Now you will probably notice a few things:
you poop a lot less mass than you consume, this is because you turn a lot of it into energy.
there is a lot of water in food
you probably poop more than you think (one dump can be quite big in comparison to a meal when removing liquids)
Your output, is incredibly, incredibly, incredibly, dependent on your input.
People who eat a strict carnivore diet, famously, have very little and infrequent poops.
People who have a fiber-rich diet, and eat spicy food, think about curries, have frequent and powerful poops.
People who eat a lot of fat, more fat than they can process, will have more fatty poops. In fact, this is one way to determine if you are eating enough fat in your diet, if your poop is dry and clumpy, you need more fat. If your poop is fatty, you need less fat
All of this is also moderated by your gut biome, whether it's changing or fed. If you make any serious diet changes, you can expect an odd pooping schedule for the first week or two. Until your gut biome completely adjusts. I've seen a paper where it indicates total gut biome adjustment to a radically new diet can take up to 9 months
A lot of modern processed food, in order to try to be "healthier", is difficult, or not impossible, for the body to process. That means it goes from the input to the output very quickly. Lower transit time, is healthier because you're absorbing less of the nutrients when you're eating a bad diet, but it means more poop
On the whole: fat, and protein, are almost totally absorbed by the stomach. Grains, carbohydrates, fiber, anything from a plant, The domain of the intestine... And since these are not perfectly absorbed, they have more outputs.
Fun fact, poop is brownish, because that is your old blood cells getting removed!!!
if your poop is dry and clumpy, you need more fat.
Ok, I'm gonna need info on this. Because it does appear to check out, but I've always been told it's lack of fiber and not enough fluid (which is impressive because I drink my 3-5 liters a day).
Which also makes me wonder, what am I not eating that has fats in it?
Typically super dry poops mean something is deficient in your diet, so your stomach / gut is really wrangling every last drop it can get from your food. Make sure your eating some highly bioavailable food like liver, eggs to ensure your getting all your micronutrients.
Fiber can help, but its not necessary, its famous for reducing transit time, it doesn't fix the first problem, but the poops will be more frequent. (natures broom as some would say)
If your eating more fat then your gall bladder can provide bile for, the excess makes it into the intestines, resulting in lubricated poops. This is one possible scenario as well.
If you have other gut issues, like ibs, chrones, lactose intolerance (which happens in lots of adults who don't even realize it!!!), etc - just removing the irritant can fix the issue. Elimination diets are good ways to experiment with different foods (carnivore is the gold standard elimination diet - often used by people with severe / chronic gut issues)
I'm not sure how drinking water would really help, assuming your not dehydrated.... Perhaps the theory is the water can overwhelm the intestines ability to absorb? Maybe... depends on transit time, overall electrolyte balance, sweat, etc... if your pee is already clear and not yellow at all, you have enough water
(Again not a poopologist - I swear it on my endoscope, not medical advice, just spit balling)
I can confirm that gut biome is big... Back in my 20s, I seemingly wiped mine out halfway through a course of antibiotics, and it took years to get back to something somewhat normal.
I usually have to poop 2-3 times after I wake up, the 1st time is usually a dud, then the moment I step out of the bathroom is when things loosen up and I can actually go.
Then sometimes a 3rd time after I've moved around a bit more getting ready.
Unless you are celiac, its likely FODMAPs your body hates. There is a correllation between the amount of gluten and FODMAPs in food that makes watching gluten get part of the picture, but you're missing the whole picture and thus likely not completely regular yet. FODMAPs are in most things. Onions are concentrated FODMAPs and so is tomato sauce.
I have to admit. Onions, garlic and mushrooms were haaaaard to remove. Ive turned to Miso and a lot of japanese and thai food with the onions removed from any recipes to get this right.
I’m about to try this diet to get to the bottom of it, but I think onions/garlic seem to be a problem. It’s not that bad a condition, but I’d like to at least be able to know when I’m signing up for indigestion.
Most people don't have issues with every type in that umbrella. A full FODMAP diet is usually too restrictive for people to get the most out of their diet, and isn't recommended for most. Ideally you go full FODMAP for a month, then start reintroducing foods until you know which kinds bother you.
Sometimes it can be as simple as eliminating sugar alcohols for the lucky.
I admire your abilities. I still have to learn how to cook without garlic or onion. I keep saying 'this is the last one' but now I'm feeling like one of those smokers who can't quit.
Everything from 3 times a day to once every 3 days is normal. It depends on how much you eat, how much of it your body can absorb, your fiber intake and some genetic variance too.
Your intestines aren't a conveyor belt, things don't constantly move. There are multiple muscles acting as a valve between different sections. Based on the factors above your body decides when to push stuff to the next section including the exit.
Who is "we"? Speak for yourself, I usually poop after most meals; if I've eaten a lot or very spicy or fatty things, I might even poop more than once for the same meal.
Id agree. Swapped all my carbs to higher fiber carbs a bit ago and I'm still upset when I have to shit twice a day, I could be happily wasting that time instead of having to shit again.
Maybe you poop only once. Everything between three times a day and every three days is in the normal range. If you find yourself within this range, congratulations, you are a boring pooper.
Humans have a really good digestive tract for getting nutrients out of food. So you take a lot of the mass of the food you eat and use it in your body as energy or building material. As such your poop has significantly smaller mass because it's made up of all the stuff you're body can't use after it's pulled out so the good bits.
As for dogs my understanding is they have a shorter digestive tract to allow them to eat the nasty stuff does seem to like without getting sick so they are probably less efficient at removing nutrients and poop more proportionally to what they eat.