MAGA pastor claims Kamala Harris deployed "witchcraft" in Trump debate
MAGA pastor claims Kamala Harris deployed "witchcraft" in Trump debate
The pastor said the vice president was able to use "occult-empowered deception" against Trump.
This would be genuinely hilarious if it wasn’t so goddamn serious for so many indoctrinated folks.
So let me get this straight: she’s black, she’s south Asian, she’s a woman, she’s married to a Jew, and she’s a witch? I think I like her even more now…
To be fair, any technology you don't understand can be mistaken for magic. In this case that technology is coherence.
God damn, I should have worn sun screen, I didn't expect that hot of a burn!
The full quote is
Any SUFFICIENTLY ADVANCED technology can not be distinguished from magic.
Personally, I prefer to say technology that can be distinguished from magic is not sufficiently advanced.
See: Warhammer 40k
Found the ghost of Arthur C. Clarke.
I originally wasn't going to vote for Kamala since she was a cop, but now that I know she's a witch I've changed my mind.
I'd watch
Kamala: Democratic Witch Cop
I take it Tim Waltz is the folksy desk sergeant, but who plays the no nonsense Captain that doesn't believe in witchcraft? Sanders?
"Kamala, I'm once again asking for you to not place hexagrams on the crime scene."
So who were you going to vote for?
That dead bear that Kennedy dumped in the park.
Tax the churches! They are political Propaganda arms of the Republican party.
Tax the churches indeed.
But a lot of churches aren't the political propaganda arms of the GOP, you just don't hear about 'em.
"She knew she could speak 20 lies about Trump and not be contradicted. That was the arrangement," he wrote in a second post. "And that's why I call it witchcraft, because it has the effect of planting and reinforcing thoughts in the mind of the listener that defiles perspective. This makes it easier to manipulate people."
He's describing Trump and his cult. It really is projection lol.
What a weirdo.
Didn't this pastor get the memo, witches and Wicca are cool now.
Pastor defends his antichrist.
He's trying to counter witchcraft with whiney bitchcraft.
WHICH IS TOTALLY LEGAL BY THE WAY
Not just legal, it’s fundamentally protected as a right by the first amendment
That wasn't witchcraft! What she did was Headology, plain and simple. Far more efficient. All you have to do is make the recipient understand that the lies they tell themselves in the dark corners of their mind are flimsy untruths that everyone can see through.
So, Trump is "God's Chosen" and has divine backing. But despite God being on his side, a little witchcraft can completely overpower him. I would have thought God's power would be stronger than whatever dark sorcery the Demoncraft party could invoke, but apparently I was wrong.
Yeah, it must be that. It can't be that their orange messiah is just an elderly narcissist with no discipline or self-awareness, a rambling imbecile who can be easily manipulated by anyone that threatens his fragile ego. That would be crazy.
Obviously it must be God's will that Trump become President again, why else would He have told a small minority of believers to follow some rich asshole who embodies all of their most extreme political views? I mean, if he wasn't specifically chosen by God, he wouldn't have a divine mandate that negates the need to be moral or abide by any of that "love your neighbor" shit, and his deeply religious followers would have to choose between their faith and owning the libs.
Since they don't feel bad about their politics overriding the teachings of Jesus, it must be OK, which means it has God's blessing. Therefore, God is on their side and endorses their political views, and their preferred presidential candidate. Which also means that the other side must be working for the devil.
Thanks, I hate it
What happened to their defensive prayers?
Sadly they may have made things worse.
The problem is, when you open yourself up to spiritual forces anything can come through that door... Including your own paranoia... Which is more often attacking you more than demons are.
There was actually this cult, it's still around today, but is so small time it's virtually extinct, called Christian Science. It was not a league of Scientists who were Christians, it wasn't Science at all, it wasn't even Christian as it had more to do with shit on the level of Chris-Chan's Dimensional Merge than anything in the bible.
(Science was a newish term at the time, before they used to call what we call Science "Natural Philosophy", so calling their Group Christian Science was basically the olde timey version of when your Crazy Hippie Aunt watches New Age "Quantum Enlightenment" nonsense on Gaia)
At one point because the Church was grilling them about being called Christian but having nothing to do with the faith, the leader claimed she was the second coming of Jesus and that the powers Christian Science (doesn't really at all) gives you are the same ones Jesus had.
Later in life when her health started to fail, she stayed in a compound and got progressively worse... Because the fear that her "enemies" were "attacking her with Animal Magnetism!" was making her so paranoid that it was destroying her health.
She had live in members of her cult in constant meditation to shun away the sickness.
It got to the point where she'd claim her food was poisoned by "Evil Vibes", resulting in the Chefs having to cook two versions of the same meal in order to get her to eat. One that looked "eh", for her to say it was poisoned, and another that looked fresher to be "After the food was cleansed with psychic powers", if they didn't do this little LARP session of "psychically cleansing the food" and have the right props, she would not eat.
Basically claiming a defensive stance when there's no real threat is a bad idea in certain cases, because the result is you getting so prepared for an attack that you're tense and believe the attacker is everywhere.
But not being defensive at all leaves you open.
Balance in all things.
Before I go, my favorite funfact about Christian Science is the founder of it was a woman who practiced Homeopathy and Phrenology to understand her own illnesses (Likely just hypochondria if history is to be believed), which at the time were considered legitimate forms of medical practice....
But that's not the funfact
And neither is the fact that Homeopathy was highly praised at the time because REAL Medicine was so poor it actually caused more problems than it solved. So because people didn't know any better, it was believed Homeopathy was "The biggest game in town", even though today we realize Homeopathy literally doesn't do anything at all. (Yes, No Medicine was better than Any Medicine at one opint)
What IS the funfact, is after various alleged religious visions, Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of Christian Science, while treating a patient of hers withheld Homeopathic Medicine in place of sugar pills... and her patient got better anyway.
Instead of coming to the conclusion that Homeopathy is an absolute sham, she believed she had successfully and secretly taught a man to cure himself with magical science....
She was so close to a groundbreaking discovery, just not the one she walked away with. It'd be hilarious if Christian Science wasn't responsible for murdering so many children through intentional neglect.
Obviously, her witch magic was more powerful. She gets a lot of mana from eating all those cats and dogs.
I'm glad you left out, "thoughts" because we all know that was never a factor in this.
Slightly more plausible than Bluetooth eatings where she had a full team of writers instantly coming up with her responses, all agreeing on it, and relating it to her with zero delay...
The bluetooth one is crazy because have you ever tried to talk while you have a voice rambling in your ear?
It's not easy to focus.
Even then, like, am I the only person who isn't against candidates having an earpiece and a team helping them? When do you ever think the POTUS is alone and making split-second decisions? They'll always have an advisor or some type of council around them.
This is supposed to be a presidential debate, not a president and team debate.
Also at the end of the day it's the president that makes the decisions, not the team. You're supposed to evaluate them, in part, on their decision making capability.
W was alone for a while when deciding whether to put down My Pet Goat…
Man, if this had been the case I could have seen Biden doing much better in that first debate.
As improbable as the latter sounds, the former (supernatural powers) I consider to be impossible. And when you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
.. which in this case is just that Harris is competent and the other guy is not. No supernatural witchcraft or impossible earbuds required.
where can I get my pointy hat that says "witches for Kamala"
hahah yes ! I'd buy one of these
Well, she did conjure up a can of whoopass
So she is a witch with no backup real except a few leftist woke idiots?
Trump on the other hand is chosen by god and has the whole country behind him...And he says this one witch is stronger than god and all his followers? Alright, who is he rooting for? I don't get this. They never think about the implications of what they say, do they?
It's one of the core principles of fascism. The enemy is at once weak, feeble, and inferior yet simultaneously powerful, cunning, and insidious.
Such is the way with "magical thinking"
Did she turn you into a newt?
He hasn't gotten better, but he might if true believers buy enough AI generated NFTs!
"She knew she could speak 20 lies about Trump and not be contradicted. That was the arrangement," he wrote in a second post. "And that's why I call it witchcraft, because it has the effect of planting and reinforcing thoughts in the mind of the listener that defiles perspective. This makes it easier to manipulate people."
Holy projection, Batman
It really does have "No fair! I had it first!" energy.
Yeah that's what they say about women with knowledge.
#"Burn her!"
The witchcraft of facts and common sense.
LITERALLY 1484
I’d vote for a witch.
Christine O'Donnell has entered the chat.
I… take that back.
Yeah but not just any witch
Imagine considering not voting for a witch who could literally fix the country with magic lol
Weatherwax/Ogg 2024
Dude says its occult witchcraft and then goes on to define collusion and conspiracy. Like, that didn't happen either but those are what he's describing.
Also, just throwing it out there, if the pastor ever made a birthday wish before blowing out candles then that would be witchcraft. Spells are basically intentions combined with ritualistic actions in the hope of a stated outcome.
So yeah, Harris didn't commit witchcraft at the debate but every American does on their birthday. Fun fact 😛
but every American does on their birthda
Not this one! But does looking up appropriate Latin phrases for my sorcerer’s spells when playing D&D count?
What’s funny is he described the sort of thing religious witches do
What? Trump is so weak his plans can be foiled by simple witchcraft? I thought Trump big, the best stronk? /s
Face it, dude. Trump is an easily manipulated idiot. Harris demonstrated it live on TV.
Why wouldn't you deploy your own warlock instead of complaining?
This is clearly voodoo witchcraft, and MAGA doesn't have a lot of black women - they're all too... uppity. Klandace Owens is too busy playing Goebbels to make the pivot to office, so this is all so unfair!
...God emperor Trump - the world's greatest negotiator who will end the Ukraine and Palestine conflicts before taking office can't possibly be expected to debate a black woman - she's far too powerful.
She played him like a fiddle. She herded him from place to place like he was halfwitted livestock.
She herded him from place to place
like he wasas the halfwitted livestock he is
Hear me out now, what if she did?
What if Kamala's witchcraft is just being a good person?
Like, that's some amazing witchcraft.
What fucking year is it in these people's minds? 1600?
Sadly no, there are people and even whole communities in 2024 that kill people (usually) women accused of witchcraft. On multiple fucking continents.
Yikes 😬
Remember when they AId Harris as a demon and she the result looked hot as fuck
lol i hadn't but google showed me this
Is this poster for DC's Zatanna?
"And that's why I call it witchcraft, because it has the effect of planting and reinforcing thoughts in the mind of the listener that defiles perspective. This makes it easier to manipulate people."
Huh ...
This fucker wouldn't know witchcraft if it anointed his dick
So we have a choice between a president with magic powers or a president who gibbers nonsense while wearing a diaper filled with yellow hamburder shit. Not a hard decision to make, really.
Okay, so she’s a witch, but she isn't a hag, so we’re good.
insert Geralt of Rivia grunt
Hey, Geralt could tolerate witches. Even had his way with a few. Not so much hags.
"MAGA Pastor" is an unholy sounding combination.
Sounds like a contradiction in terms to me.
Sounds illegal. They're not supposed to endorse candidates while not having to pay taxes. IRS should end this church.
I s2g if Dems were even half as cool as MAGA says they are...
s2g?
Swear to god.
Damn, I can’t wait for her to shut down autocrats and strongmen with "occult-empowered deception".
I wish she was that cool
It's true, I saw her give him the evil eye during the debate. Now he's cursed with ineloquence until he makes a pilgrimage to his fatherland and burns a wreath of holly under the full moon.
They are really running out of real arguments.
On the other hand, this is one of the more creative explanation of Trumps utter f-up. What's next? Were the aliens providing Trump with mental energy having reactor trouble in their UFOs?
"Newsweek has contacted Harris's campaign via email for comment."
This would be funny if it weren't incredibly sad how many supposedly grown adults still fear words like "witchcraft" and "satanic".
That’s so rad. Love me some witches! 🧙
Those fingers in my hair
That sly come hither stare
That strips my conscience bare
It's witchcraft
I will always hear that in Bart's voice.
The biggest criminals call themselves "pastor"
“She’s a witch!”
“Yeah, but she’s OUR witch.”
~Capt. Malcolm Reynolds
Black magic, no doubt.
She was always of Indian heritage, and she was only promoting Indian heritage. I didn’t know she used Black magic until a number of years ago, when she happened to turn Black, and now she wants to be known as a Black magician.
Obviously Haitian Voodoo.
Honestly, as a cope, I find this infinitely INFINITELY more satisfying than the "3 on 1 debate" weak sauce.
That's funny because a few times I spied her hands, held out in front of her, fingers outstretched, looking like she was casting a spell! Lol. Nevertheless, they were all thoughts for funsies only.
Talk about extreme...
As a Thelemite, I approve these tactics.
Usually is accuse them of being dumb as fuck but these dolts are obviously much dumber than fuck. Poor fuck, I didn’t mean anything by it😘
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