What's your version of "I DON'T like it but I do like people who do like it"?
Someone just asked the opposite of this question here and I was wondering if there are cases were you're just not interested in something but you know the community is great nonetheless.
I don't care for sports so much, but a ton of my friends play rugby. Several of my exes play rugby. I've got cousins who play rugby. I live in the States and, while rugby is popular, it's no where near the levels of enthusiasm where like 90% of the people a person hangs out with plays it (and you not also play or have any real interest in it). Mostly to support people I was dating, I've been to like ten games in my life and, while I understand how the game is played, I'm just completely uninterested in sports and following sports as a hobby or interest. I don't know why, but rugby people love me and I love them.
I have always been a liberal leftist but I actually really enjoy being around old school, fiscally conservative Republicans, when they aren't talking about politics. They tend to be softies on the inside - they value strength and tradition and care deeply for their communities and families; often more directly demonstrating that care than liberals tend to. They also don't accept the victim mentality and tend to shoot straight with their words, and can be hilariously harsh. They are responsible and tend to follow through with their commitments.
The problem is, I can't really stand being around them because they can't help themselves bringing up the dumbest opinions of all time and they typically don't like digging into fact based thinking.
Same now as 20 years ago, when they would say shit like, "pretty cold out today - don't seem like global warming to me! Hahaha" etc etc
Something about the horseshoe effect I'm sure. I'm the same way, I make the best of friends with conservative assholes. They care about family, water is thicker than blood, blah blah blah. It's just the policies they vote for that I hate, which is also why I love just chatting about them. Gives me an opportunity to "know thy enemy" and have a chance to change their mind
That's all well and good, until they vote for literal fascists who believe trans people shouldn't exist.
At some point you need to draw a line. And even if they don't say that shit out loud, or they pretend to disagree, they still vote for it and most of them will refuse to ever admit they were wrong for that.
I am not a fan of the hardcore heavy/death metal music itself; but the metalheads are awesome people. The more unintelligible and scary/evil sounding the music, the nicer the crowd. It's weird and cool and funny.
Gimme a stoner any day. Better than trying to talk a roided up jock half way through a bottle of tequila out of punching his nana. I don't consume myself because weed just puts me to sleep. I guess I'm mellow enough.
Sex. Neurodivergent/nerd social circles often have a lot of kink/BDSM and otherwise sex positive people, so my friends group is pretty open about sex.
I’m on the asexual spectrum and would rather forget that sex is a thing, but I love my friends and as long as everyone is consenting and safe, I’m happy for them. I sometimes get awkward when sex convos happen around me, but hey, I get awkward with many other convos too.
Boardgaming. I play an occasional boardgame with my friends, but I'm not searching youtube clips for strategies, importing first-print Euro games in the original German and printing English-language stickers for the boards, or watching Essen livestreams every year.
One that’s less relevant now, but throughout my life has been relevant: Juggalos.
I was a big metalhead in school, and i had a bunch of juggalo friends. I liked a couple of their songs well enough, but I found the “culture” grating. Still, those mothafuckas were the most accepting and tolerant people I knew. Tolerant of anyone’s way of life, except they fucking hated bigots. In the 90s, being accepting of queer peeps really wasn’t in vogue (to put it lightly) but juggalos welcomed queer peeps as friends with open arms.
This. To be clear I have absolutely no problem with furries existing and I believe anything less than letting y'all be would be tantamount to treason.
But God damn I just cannot understand it. I don't get it. And it weirds me out.
Like I said, I would actually fight to defend your right to wear your fur suit out in public. But I'm also going to make fun of you because man it's just weird.
Although I did have a coworker (I work in IT so this isn't actually that surprising) who was a furry and he tried to meow at me one time when I called his name. Don't do that. That was weird. Just tell me what you did to fix the computer man.
Although I did have a coworker (I work in IT so this isn't actually that surprising) who was a furry and he tried to meow at me one time when I called his name. Don't do that. That was weird. Just tell me what you did to fix the computer man.
He did. What you don't understand is that meowing at the problem is often the solution. If meowing doesn't work, try barking.
I like furries because I appreciate modern technology. If all the furries went to lunch at the same time, we'd be eating each other in the streets before they made it to the diner.
For me it's Metal music. It's just absolutely not my genre but an overwhelming amount of metalheads I met were just the nicest, most wholesome and fun people all around.
We trash and bash in the mosh pitts, and get out our aggression. But if someone falls, you YANK them up. Many times I've fallen, and then suddenly felt myself lifted high into the air by the hand of god. Then I can see who lifted me, and it turns out it wasn't god. It was a long haired, bearded, tattood muscleman. Which makes sense. I'm like 300lbs. If you're suddenly yanking me up effortlessly, you're a big muscle man. And then there's other times I see women fall. I yank them up. I'm doing the right thing, I KNOW I'm doing the right thing, but the whole time I'm just like "Sorry sorry sorry sorry." because you don't aim where you grab. You grab and yank up, by whatever you can. You don't want the pitt to come her way and stomp her head, not knowing she exists down there. So yank, but also "Sorry sorry sorry sorry". I've yet to have any women mad at me for doing it, they get it, but MAN it feels weird just grabbing a woman like that.
Pushing, shoving, looks like a massive fist fight but it's all love. We're trusting them with our life. They're trusting us with theirs. We all get super violent, and have a good time. Then the show lets out, and we're like "Oh, you wanna go get some late night eats? Anyone know a good gyro spot?", and we're just friendly for the rest of the day. We're like the Canadians of music genres. Violent when we play, and friendly the rest of the time.
There is research and papers showing that heavy music in general can actually be therapeutic and make someone calmer, rather than the perceived opposite effect. It can be a great outlet. I listen to metal, heavy music, all the time but when I have used it as a coping mechanism, i.e. an outlet for stress, it has definitely allowed me to release such tension. Not only that, but singing/screaming to vocals along to the music surely does release all of energy, and while there are outsiders who might perceive the music as 'angry' the incorrect connection they're making is that anger is an energetic emotion, as in unreleased energy/tension. Metal isn't angry music, it is energetic. That is why it makes such good workout music. It stimulates and satisfies that part of our lives, letting us be some of the 'nicest, most wholesome and fun people all around'.
I'd believe the research on a heartbeat. I don't listen to metal very often and I'm pretty picky about subgenres, but when I'm in a horrible terrible mood, I'll slap on some of the hardest most pig squealing, swallowing the microphone, quadruple bass pedal stuff I can find. After an hour or so of that, I usually feel much better.
That's funny. That was the first thing that popped in my head. I don't know how to pronounce any of your favorite Scandinavian bands' names, but I think we'll get along just fine.
This is gonna be just like my buddy at my old job where it became an office-wide (joke) rift and everybody took sides and anytime someone new joined we'd ask them which side they were on and there was much hemming and hawing on Slack.
Smokers. They have decades of being able to strike up an angry conversation in a street with an absolute stranger, whilst never letting it escalate, because, fuckit, brotherhood of smokers.
Plus a healthy appreciation of nature. Sure you can smoke and look at your phone, but you still have to be outside and that means glancing up from time to time to look at the scenery, the night sky, to wave at your neighbours, etc.
Good people smokers, filthy habit.
(Vapers dont count, cos you can't really share a vape concurrently. Also a lot of them take pride in their devices which I find weird. Real smokers have a decent sense of self-hatred at their habit)
Not sure what kind of smokers you meet. The ones I have to deal with blow cancer in my face right next to children, get aggressive when I ask them not to, spit on the floor every 5s, throw their still lit cigs into trash bins or into nature and cant stop coughing on the train.
yeah and I have to say even nice smokers seem to have no issue with flicking their but when they are done. Anytime I see a smoker hold onto their but when there is not some sort of enforcement I am like. That person is the rare saint.
Ah yep, my people. The good ones can cast an indignant parent/kid-free zone up to 15m away. Solitary creatures by nature, they hunt in packs, and if you manage to friend one, you friend them for life.
Fuck yeah, I miss it. Smokers are my people. Risk takers, nihilists, indulgers, hedonists, adventurers, rebels, fun-havers… but I’ve gotten domesticated and want to live a long and clean life. Sigh.
Old school vapers at least, ones that still roll their own coils and rewick their rebuildable atomizers, would almost always have a device that they have customized themselves, or gotten a very beautiful custom mod.
Also vaping is a bit different in that you could vape using a device akin to smoking, or you could be vaping up a storm cloud like a shisha or bing would, or anything in between.
It's a personal thing. At least in the opinion if this vaper.
My wife is a huge Rush fan. I've been to two concerts, I don't get it. It's loud, it's screechy, I can't understand the lyrics, but they're her favorite band.
Bought her the "Rush 50" set for our anniversary next month:
I worked with some people from Chile once, and they ALL loved rush. there was like 30 of them, they had in common where they came from, and rush. Like it's a thing. Even the ones whose English was so-so knew every word to every song. I miss jamming with em. Fucking epic air drums!
Marijuana Aficionados. I've been straight edge my entire life but always hung out with them. Now, it is more common since legal restrictions have been lifted. The community in general is well, chill.
My dad gave me advice a hundred years ago, and it's probably a George Carlin bit or something, but there's a difference in philosophy between drunks and stoners. A drunk will pound a beer, or sip from a personal flask, or bring their own six pack to a party. A stoner's first impulse is to light a joint and find someone to pass it off to. It's communal, and it brings others into the circle, where alcohol is isolating. Obviously it's a generalization, but it sort of fits.
it's communal, and it brings others into the circle
As a big pot head I think this is the big point. If you see someone smoking, there's a damn good chance they'll let you take a smoke. But you gotta be careful, cause then you're gonna be stuck into a 30 minute convo about nothing haha
I didn't say "perfect chance" because one time I was in German outside a club and smelled someone smoking a joint so I mimed the smoking gesture and he called me a selfish American and then they all laughed at me haha. But then later that night they called me over to do a couple shots with them so ¯\(ツ)/¯
That sounds like Carlin, but Carlin dispensed much wisdom in his time.
My favorite story from Jack Marigold's A Child's Garden of Grass goes something like:
A drunk, an acidhead, and a pothead are walking through the woods. As it becomes evening, they come to a city surrounded by a wall, and in the wall is a closed door with a sign that reads: "This door is only open 9-5". After knocking and getting no answer for a few minutes, the drunk shakes his fist and says, 'let's smash the door down!" The acidhead peers at the doorknob for a few minutes and says, "let's just float through the keyhole." The pothead shakes his head and says, "naw, man; let's just sit here and wait for it to open in the morning."
I can't handle pot; makes me super nauseous for the entire time I'm high. Always has. But I love the people.
I agree. I used the term 'marijuana aficionado' because I hang out with those who exclusively smoke bud straight up from the dispensary. I don't get involved with other types of users.
I don't like it and I don't necessarily have to like the people either who also happens to like that thing. It is a possibility. Just don't go around trying to find these people with the excuse of upsetting what they enjoy. Enjoy what you enjoy, shut up and go back to your damn corner.
Anyways, mine happens to be EDM. I don't mind it, I always just held the opinion that it is way too same-y. There's thousands of remixes of this song and that song and they maybe change the tone, the tune or add a few more sounds. But more or less, it is just same-y. I know lots of people feel and love this kind of genre, I just only like it but I am not really losing my mind to it whenever I hear a few tracks.