I know Mormons can't have alcohol, but couldn't they just dip their tongue in a glass of beer and not move it?

They're serious about following the rules because their entire social and community structure stresses conformity. If you break the norms of the faith there are serious repercussions and you can lose your entire family, community, and support structure. When they're alone with others who aren't of the faith they are definitely far more lax. I've drank beer and even had chocolate with Mormons before lol.

But do they talk the walk?

While there must certainly be some devout Muslims who try their best to keep the "rules", as I'd expect in any group, a lot of Muslims are not so different frombthe rest of us non-Muslims.

My coworker is a former Muslim who had to leave his home country due to persecution when he became a Christian. Here, he's made Muslim friends who regularly invite him over for dinner and they serve... Pork. They say because he is not a Muslim, they respect that and don't force him to eat halal. But why does not forcing him to eat halal equate to them eating pork?

They are genuinely his friends, but he is also their "excuse" to break halal.

it can't possibly be that you're more exposed to Mormons, right

How many Mormons have you met?

The poophole loophole usually means something different. They say anal sex doesn't count as "losing your virginity." So they can have all the premarital sex they want, as long as it's in the pooper.

I’ll bet you could even get a Supreme Court justice to help with that maneuver.

It’s capillary action. It just rams straight into your bloodstream, no dilution or waiting to go through stomach. It’s fast and effective.

Alcohol gets absorbed by mucus membrane much faster than by going through your digestive tract. And your anus is lined with mucus membrane.
It was a craze a decade or so ago where I live, cause teenagers did that to get drunk without having their breath smell of alcohol, and some of them ended up in the ER.

Additionally to what others have said it's also quite dangerous. You can drink a fatal amount of alcohol but your body will generally puke before it absorbs enough to kill you.

Using this method (boofing), you don't have that defense, it's absorbed too quickly and your body doesn't generally shit itself to expel poison.

Colon is part of your large intestine.

This literally was a trend in alternative swiss youth a decade or so ago, it works well and fast, straight into the blood 😂

you've never boofed ketamine?

Are your dumps really smaller than a tampon? If they aren't, why do you think your hole would need to be especially gaped?

I see this so often now, I can't tell if people are honestly that dense or they're intentionally pretending to be. In the spirit of Fry and Andy Dwyer, I'm not sure I want to know the answer.

Religion in general is crazy

My relatively limited contact with Jewish culture has painted a picture in which this kind of technicality is, in fact, part of the culture itself. It's great

Honestly, I kinda love the whole "lawyering with God" thing that Jewish folks have going on. For any religion with restrictive beliefs, there will be adherents who will try to find loopholes. I've been lucky enough to have an upbringing almost completely free from religion (except for a year drinking hot chocolate at a Unitarian Universalist church, which is almost not religion), but I also grew up in a super Mormon part of Utah. I've spent my whole life as a bit of an outsider, seeing people pick and choose which rules to follow and try to discretely find and exploit every little loophole there is. I've always found the hypocrisy a bit unsettling.

I think I'd really prefer it if the Mormons took the same argumentative stance with their god. It would make the picking and choosing a bit less hypocritical (which might lead to more Mormons ditching some of their religion's shittiest and most regressive teachings), and there'd be a lot less shitty sneaking around.

More than 200 cities around the world are partially encircled by an eruv.

Partially?

Apparently the God of the Old Testament is extremely pedantic.

TIL

Yeah, just like how black people were bad and the "children of Ham" or whatever. After the Civil Rights Movement, Morman God mysteriously changed his mind and said "black people are ok now".

Paul even writes in his first epistle to Timothy (5:23)

No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments.

This was because people were getting sick from drinking plain water (as they didn't have the same water purifying technology then) so it was common to add a bit of wine to cleanse it antibacterial. Grape juice in this context would make zero sense. Would also hark back to what Luke wrote in The Acts of the Apostles 10:9-16 regarding a vision Peter received:

The next day, as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the housetop about the sixth hour to pray. And he became hungry and wanted something to eat, but while they were preparing it, he fell into a trance and saw the heavens opened and something like a great sheet descending, being let down by its four corners upon the earth. In it were all kinds of animals and reptiles and birds of the air. And there came a voice to him: “Rise, Peter; kill and eat.” But Peter said, “By no means, Lord; for I have never eaten anything that is common or unclean.” And the voice came to him again a second time, “What God has made clean, do not call common.” This happened three times, and the thing was taken up at once to heaven.

Although, this doesn't really work in regard to the Mormon thinking that some guy can override the Bible and that the book of Mormon overrides it. Reminds me of a video a mormon made reading through John's gospel according to Joseph Smith or something where he adds in extra stuff through some claimed revelation/restoration. There were comments of people saying "okay but there are no evidence for these texts existing from the early church" and the guy just responded with "but Joseph smith said"