Hubris

Biscuit in a tin

Is this some American thing I'm to European to understand?

They're self rising Pillsbury biscuits (or similar). Not what Americans call cookies that Brits call biscuits

And yeah, they come in a tube. The plastic/papery wrap is structural to keeping the pressure on them. It's pretty neat packaging design. This is the first I've heard of the little pop being considered scary though
- Hyper sensitive people can be terrified of them. It's kind of funny in a mean way, like tossing a firecracker at an unsuspecting friend.
- People with broken flight or fight responses (usually due to trauma, not always involving loud noises) hawe issues with the loud pop, even when you know its coming causes the flight or fight response and takes a lot of effort to calm yourself down.
  
  Its not scary per se, its aggravating a broken somatic response.
Don't think of a sweet dry disc (what Americans call a "cookie"), think of a thick round doughy scone, slightly salty and buttery, designed to receive either sweet (various jams or jellies) or savory (fried cured meats, eggs, cheese) accompaniment.
- It's funny that this distinction needs to be made every time biscuits are mentioned in the post. There were some very confused non-Americans in the comments of a biscuits and gravy meme the other day
- But we also have cookie dough in a tube too
- think of a thick round doughy scone, slightly salty and buttery
  
  If they're made right, they're close to cylindrical croissants.
I've actually seen these for croissants and pains au chocolat

If you like incredibly shit-tier croissants and pains au chocolat
I'm European, Swedish, and these have been common for over a decade. Most common here is in "pizza kits", you get one tube like in the post but with pizza dough and a glass jar of tomato sauce with herbs.
There are also a lot of dough based things in a tin sold in Europe. I know that a French company is selling everything in cans under the german brand "knack & back"; bread rolls, croissants and even pizza dough
American biscuits, closest you have are scones iirc
Funny. I’m American but I don’t eat cookies or biscuits. So I figured this was a British thing.

Did Guy Fieri, of all people, actually tweet that?

No. I’m sure that’s either photoshopped or a parody account.

I just smack the tube on the counter

Whop your wad on the counter!
- The pullout technique

Always thought they spent time designing the packaging to cause it to pop as a marketing gimmick. Only fun memories here

no it’s TERRIFYING!!!!

Be a manly man and twist the container open by rotating your hands opposite of the seam's direction. If you get in some real manly grunting and groaning you'll be pleasantly surprised to know that your manly courage won't be questioned because everyone will focus on the body.

Only way to do it.

Edit- apparently some people bash the can on a counter. Sounds even more fun I'll have to try.
Just give it a good scream like you're playing tennis
- Screams are right after the grunts in my opinion. They come uncalled.

We make our biscuits and cinnamon rolls in these parts. Worth the few more minutes effort. So no pop here. No judgment though, we are all busy.

I also make my own cinnamon rolls and it’s way more than a few minutes effort. Mix, rise for 1.5 hours, roll out, roll up, cut them all individually, another hour rise, and then you can bake them.

Granted, I do everything up to the baking and then freeze them, but it’s way more than a few more minutes.

Then again, now that I make my own cinnamon rolls I can’t stand anyone else’s.

(I don’t make biscuits so maybe they’re easier)
- Biscuits are way easier.
  
  There's a lot less steps
Sometimes you feel like eating garbage. I make some of the most delicious smash burgers I've ever eaten, but some days I gotta go pick up a $1.29 hamburger from Burger King to ruin my day juuust right.
- You can still get a fast food burger that cheap?
- I just don't understand smash burgers. I want my burgers moist and dripping down my mouth.souvide and sear, or sear a chuck steak and grind it if your super worried about food safety. I haven't done either but they should be good. safe a juicy. full disclosure, I'm writing this from the shitter and there have been many more times today so food poisoning might be an issue for me or its ibs. dunno. I'm probably not going to pass a strict food safety thing.

To all those afraid of opening a biscuit container there's a trick.

Gently peel the label off, then smack them on the counter long ways (long edge flat against the counter)

The scary part about opening them is using a minute amount of force and having them pop with many times the energy. When you apply a significant amount of force you're expecting the thud and the pop isn't scary at all.

Do people actually do the spoon thing? I always hit them on the edge of the counter.
- I never knew there was any other way until just now lol
- I just peel them a bit and twist
Is that no longer the way they tell you to open?
- They all say what the OP image shows. Peel it open and pierce it with a spoon.

Ask not for whom the biscuits pop; they pop for thee.

He who fights with canned biscuits should look to it that he himself does not become a canned biscuit. And if you pop long into an biscuit roll, the biscuit roll also pops into you.
- Praise be to canned biscuits.
  Amen.

Don't you whack the tube on the edge of the counter any more?

My partner makes me open these when we get them. They're so afraid to do it, it's like a jump scare every time.

Ditch the spoon. There's a reason they're called whomp biscuits. Whomp the side of the tube hard against the edge of the counter, with enough force to dispel all fear. It makes the pop feel right, expected, not scary. And the tiny violence gives a feeling of dominance.
- I just push on it with my hand

These things terrify the fuck out of me.

on more than one occasion i've had them detonate in my hand and launch biscuit dough out of the kitchen and across the next room, a distance that boggles minds and terrifies gods.

Doesn’t the dough expand in whatever you put it in? I wouldn’t want to open a pressurized can. A cardboard tube is much better.

Peel the outer layer, turn away, bang it on the counter. That way you're in control vs. having it explode in your hand.

That only works if the dough is fresh out of the fridge. If the dough has time to warm up then that outer layer is structural and beginning to peel it will explode the dough in one's hands. It is a nasty surprise.