violently cries and sobs

Are you a dad?

Groan.

I find cis to be an extremely useful term. It very clearly conveys what I am and who I'm interested in. Why wouldn't I embrace it?

More like if the room is lit its "normal." That seems to be how people see it, being "persecuted" becauae they cant be normal and call others abnormal

Well, there's also a different between "I have a weird visceral reaction to the sound itself" and "I think its equal to the new word" lol

What victim?

Wow, you really are delicate. It's got to be hard going through life being offended by such little things all the time

Hi. I'm happy to talk to someone who wants to have a reasonable conversation.

Just some context. My wife is bisexual, my sister is bisexual, my daughter is a lesbian, my son and daughter both have non-binary and trans friends who I regularly spend time with, I have gay friends and lesbian friends, I was a member of the wedding party at a same sex wedding, I am friends with a local transmasc, and I've had a pair of transfem friends for more than 50 years. I am very much an ally to the LGBTQ+ community.

I have always been straight and have always been interested in women. My experience with my two long time transfem friends colors my preference. Both have very serious mental health issues. One is post-surgical, the other will never be able to get surgery. I do not find Nava Manu attractive but that is strictly a funcion of what I see as vary sharp facial features. She reminds me of Theodora Elphaba. Jaime Clayton, on the other hand, I find very attractive. I'm not completely closed to the idea of a relationship with a trans woman but in my fairly broad experience with trans women I have never encountered anyone who I would be at all interested in having a relationship with. Thus, my preference is for cis women.

If someone says they're not interested in dating Republicans, it doesn't mean they are any better than the average person at picking one out from a crowd.

Can you go back and show me where I said that?

Of course. For example, this woman is obviously trans:

Man that number is high

Thank you for explaining.

41% is awful. I had no idea it was this high.

I think the Adolf Hitler suicide rate is too low.

In my experience? The people in modmail on trans communities. At least once a week.

Transphobia is the intersection of misandry and toxic masculinity and all of it is gross.

Kind of like asking if we can stop picking up stones and rocks and using them to beat each other and instead use them to build homes.

This isn't a new fight. There will always be people who take our tools and abuse them by using them to hurt others. That's what we're fighting against, people who use our tools to hurt people instead of doing good. Unfortunately, if we just let people who collect stones and sticks for hurting people be, and not push them out of our village, they will just grow in number and strength so we can't just block it out, we can't live and let live around those who would take your life if they grew strong enough.

If it's tiring and annoying to see people have to always yell at the club-and-rock-wielding thugs and throw rocks back at them, you don't have to get involved, but don't decry those who DO have the courage to throw rocks back. If they didn't do this, the rocks would start hitting you next.

They've already ruined a perfectly good mustache, forever.

in the US it's an anti trans reference to the % of trans people who had suicidal ideation in one study

Of course it's something horrific like that. Fuck those people. 41 goes on my dog whistle list.

I don't want to live on the same planet with anyone who would quote that statistic for any reason other than an emphatic demand for action to lower it

don't understand why I have to accept being called cis.

Because that's what you are. It's a statement of fact, not an insult

But why must I suddenly have a name for something I am

Cisgender isn't a new term. Also, it's because trans people are actually somewhat accepted now so we need a more mainstream way to reference people who are and are not. Really simple concept

What I do know is that the trans community is, in many cases, so unrelentingly hostile towards cis

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. You're not the victim here, stop it.

Bottom line for me is; were all human, and that is more a problem than gender. Jealousy, pride, ego, it's all part of a human and that goes for cis/trans and the lot.

Bullshit. If that were true you wouldn't care about being called cis.

And I think alot of cis people hate being called that because it's new and it feels aggressive.

It only feels aggressive to those who have been saying sht like "tranny" with bile in their tone, likely because theyre projecting their intentions.

Can't wait for someone to smack me down for my opinion

Glad I could help out.

You also have to accept being called "white", but noone gets up in arms about it.

You don’t have to accept being called anything. Doesn’t have much use outside the Internet anyway.

You don’t say “That trans person over there” or “That cis chick over there” or “That gay dude over there.” You say their names. (Or “that person” if you don’t.)

Because no one is really going to care about my sexual orientation in a formal setting or when they come across me or another random person at the grocery store.

You can call me a leaf for all I care. We most likely won’t be seeing each other the next day anyway.

I’m not trans but don’t understand why I have to accept being called cis.

Cis is literally just a root term meaning "not trans" I.E. "identifies with gender assigned at birth. I.E. full correlation between sex and gender, biologically (i'm using the interpretation that in trans people, there is a biological desync somewhere along the line, separating physical sex, and mental sex, causing the "trans-ness" to exist, you probably shouldn't disagree with me, because the research and lived experience behind this stuff supports it)

It's like me talking about your ethnicity. There is literally nothing you can do to have control over it, it's a fully observed concept, there is no "applied" conceptualization of the term cis. Just like there is no active conceptualization of the term "human"

My gaming friend who’s m-f is a female now, sure, whatever works for her. But why must I suddenly have a name for something I am. I didn’t choose any of this?

yeah, none of us did, i didn't fucking want to be born, i didn't decide to exist, and even if i did, it wasn't here on this hell hole of a planet. Who gives a shit that people call you cis, because you are literally, objectively cis. You are arguing the most fundamental aspects of philosophy here. You might as well engage in nihilism if this hurts your soul.

Is it actually made to anoy me, it doesn’t.

no, it's not. It's not supposed to. It's a mechanism for classifying your existence in a broader, undefined society, that is experiencing challenges of definition more broadly across the whole of the field this term specifically resides in. In fact, healthcare in general, is experiencing a minor revolution.

if you're curious about why they exist, have a look into social gender expression, or gender identity more broadly, modern or historical (historical being 1950's) hell you can even go into ancient human history and see the same thing, though it's often different from how it is now. There were still clear distinctions in how things worked.

Things change, as they always have, and will continue to change, Change is good, it signals technological evolution, and social progress. There is nothing inherently bad about change. I mean sure there's bad change. Like hitler, for example. But if hitler didn't exist, there is no guarantee that we wouldn't still be fighting like the british were during the revolutionary war.

What I do know is that the trans community is, in many cases, so unrelentingly hostile towards cis, because many don’t understand. Even against trans people, some communities create so many rules. My friend had trouble trying to fit in because she wasn’t trans enough for her discord group. Wtf?

in defense of the internet, you are asking a pretty stupid question. It's like being mad when someone refers to you by your proper honorific title. It's just, fucking weird.

and infighting in the queer community is a thing, it's a big problem as of late, although that's a different story and nobody really knows how to classify it or what to do about it at this moment.

And I think alot of cis people hate being called that because it’s new and it feels aggressive.

yeah, you're correct about it being new, people are apprehensive to change. It's normal, doesn't mean you need to express it though. Also, it likely feels aggressive to you because you haven't been classified before in your life time, to this degree at least. Chances are, you don't like it now, even though you've probably done the same thing to other people, and you've almost certainly seen this done to other people throughout your life, aware or not. Gay people were considered mentally ill up until the 70's and it was only really more normalized in the 90's.

BTW, i recommend you do some reading on the Schizoid personality disorder, and do some thinking about how it feels to be classified. It's better than being socially shunned, consciously or not.

If you feel like your life is crumbling because you're being called cis, you might want to think back to what red lining was like, or what the pushback against the gays was like, or what it was like being japanese in the US shortly after pearl harbor, or being muslim in the US any time after 9/11, or jewish, just in general. Or like a minority in an oppressive state/regime.

To sum it up here, you're complaining about being called cis. It's not a slur, it's not an insult, it's not degrading, it's just a classification term. And this is apparently, the most important problem in your life right this moment, judging by the fact that you left a comment about it. You're not worried about putting food on the table, or being sane, or fitting in with society, or being able to function within it, putting gas in your car, getting to work, having work, being able to do your job, and being able to live in general.

It's a rather privileged problem to have, and you should think about how good your life is, rather than how bad it is.

Can i just thank you so very much for that amazing etymology summary you just made? I can't even grammar right now, love it!

I try to make this as exeggerated and stupid of an example as possible if I got it right:

So… let’s say if a 37 year old man, born male, with a wife, born female, who is married with kids with a house in suburbia and stable income, calls some regular thai ladyboy a “fag”, while said ladyboy counters “pretty harsh tone for a cis” and then that 37 year old man gets angry over the fact that he’s being called “cis”… That man is being angry about the fact that he is being called non-trans?

Thanks for the clear explenation! Further comments say it's a pretty neutral identification, but to me it sounds like there's two sides of it and one is bad. I presume this feeling is incorrect?

Ohhhhh. I wish that were explained more. My only problem with the term "cis" is that it seemed to come from nowhere, a made-up term out of a random syllable that was suddenly being applied to people.

Ooh, thanks for the insight!
So does that mean one could be Cis and Gay for example? As in feeling like a man and born male, and also attracted to men?

Yeah I mean I definitely don't understand the whole non-binary thing, to me it seems silly. But they aren't hurting anyone, or affecting my life in any way, so why care?