Malicious Compliance
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So you want to know what I'm doing every minute?
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Tatymai on 2023-06-27 21:22:32+00:00. *** My work just instituted a new timekeeping policy last week where we must account for what we are doing every minute of the day(since we are remote and we 'shouldn't waste company time'). Me and my team really think this is a waste of our time, as we are now spending 30 minutes a day doing timekeeping instead of working. So we agreed to be super precise as possible. So all our timecards looked like :
8:01-8:14 Answered emails from Blah at Place and Vender
8:15-8:21 Peed, washed hands
8:22-8:23 refilled coffee
8:24- 8:26 Sneeze, got tissue
and so forth.
As Of today, we now just have a time entry for "unaccounted time" that we are supposed to just mark "Breaks" because "I don't need to know when you take a sh\*t, GDI!" And time entries can be rounded to 5 minute increments. A small win, but we'll take it.
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Oh so we're now making new policies to not pay me properly?
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/kitkat2585 on 2023-06-27 18:13:07+00:00. *** So quick backstory and apologizes in advance for the long story but I'm very thorough: A little over a year ago I did a major career change going from working in healthcare for over 10 years to finance. The idea of making my own hours plus still being able to help people on an individual basis really appealed to me, plus this company offers a pension (which is rare these days apparently).
I started back in April 2022 and never had any issues with the company in terms of getting the right commission for sales/pay until March 2023. I submitted 2 policies for two different clients and based on what is written in terms of the pay policy, the commission will be quite high. I was thrilled because I recently lost my salary portion and I was currently on straight commission with my paycheck being what was in my fund, which as a new sales rep for the 1st year really isn't much. The big plus was the catch up payout that I was set to get for hitting my previous quarter incentive and the current one which was approximately $6500.
Sounds great right? Wrong. I get 'paid' half of the amount for one and less than a 1/3 for the other one. I was livid. I went back to look over their compensation plan with a fine tooth comb and located the answer to what I should be getting versus what I received. They have it broken down on how the payouts are and underneath the pay chart it has it clearly written that 'First Policy Year commissions will be paid on the first Policy Year's Target Premium, regardless of when such premium is actually paid'. I don't know how much more straightforward it could be written. I submitted a dispute with the proof that I was not paid accurately and requested that the missing amount be paid, which is approximately 3K currently.
And this is where it goes s\*\*t hits the fan........They denied it in less than 30 minutes. How?! Did they even look thru what I submitted with the math showing the discrepancies? So I submitted an appeals claim with the help of my agency manager again but this time for the appeals my divisional VP has to approve it prior sending it off to the appeals committee. After we sent over to him, I began having issues occurring on a weekly basis. We get weekly registers and statements to show our compensation amounts and I was getting error after error each one I was getting on Tuesdays. I would reach out to dispute or question them on why this happened and I would get 'Oh that was a mistake, we'll get it fixed for the next register' and so on. Mind you this is all happening the last few weeks of me hitting that incentive to get a catch up bonus as well.
One time they pulled back the entire commission of that second policy that I was paid a 1/3 only (leaving my commission for that sale a big fat $0 earned) for and stated that it was because I was replacing their old policy. WHAT?! How can you justify the amount of time and work put it in to get something placed for a client to not only underpay me but then pull back the exact amount that I earned? Guess when they happened to pull back that commission, yup the final week where I was going to hit my goal to get my catch up. How convenient, right? So when my staff manager and I questioned them about it they admitted that they made an error and will correct it but instead of adding it back to the previous quarter, they added to the new one. WTF?!
At this point it's been almost 6 weeks when I submitted my appeal and still haven't heard anything from my agency manager or the appeals committee so I sent an email inquiring about it. Compensation never received the form from my divisional VP. This a\*\hole of a VP (nobody likes him in the entire division) never forwarded and told my AM that I would have to make some changes to my old claim since it doesn't make any sense with what I submitted. Mind you this d\\*k started also calling me by a different name even though up until this process started he never had issues addressing me with my actual name.
Prior to this response I was on the fence about filing a claim with the Department of Labor in my state against them. I even went as far as contacting two different lawyers and explained my situation to see if I had any merit to do so. Both stated that if I have proof on what I should have been paid per their own policy and what I received, they said go for it. So after getting that answer from the divisional VP, I filed it and technically I don't have to notify them but I wanted to see if they would cave at all seeing that they don't have the proof to back up their reasoning for the short pay. I even filed a claim with the Department of Human Rights against that VP and 'convenient timing' of all the errors that have occurred. I did ask my AM to let the VP know that I filed a claim to be still professional and courteous about it and hoping that going so far would make them realize how serious I was with getting my correct pay and settle it before an investigator gets assigned and the response received from the VP was 'Oh dear now legal has to get involved' and probably thinks I'm bluffing.
I began looking for work while waiting for a response from the state and I'm still working there, but this new company that I'm getting established with, already is 100% better. All of my clients that were either denied for the dumbest of reasons or if they refused the policy because it got rated and it caused their premium to go sky high, so I started writing them with my new company while still working at the old one and having been writing all of my new business with them just to get by. I plan on staying until I get my money back and then I'll leave because I'll be quite set with this new one hopefully and only because I went thru everything that in savings already so my $200 paycheck every 2 weeks is not survivable at all. I keep checking for updates on my claim and end up coming across additional information that if it is accurate my jerk company would also owe me a huge back pay for not paying the minimum wage since I lost my salary and only getting commissions, which is no where close to the minimum wage, so the employer is supposed to pay the difference that I would be short as well and changes the total amount owed from just under 10K to around 16K instead. Guess we shall see how this pans out...............
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Want to steal my lunch? Fine, but enjoy burning your mouth off!
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Organic-Yam7242 on 2023-06-27 17:44:55+00:00. *** I recently started a new job at a new office. Well, on the first day there, I learned there was a lunch thief in the office. We all store our lunch in the fridge in the break room. And I went to get mine in the first day, my food was gone. This went on for a few days, until I realized who it was. It was a co-worker who I’ll call Rebecca. She honestly gave off a Karen vibe. When I caught her, I asked if she could stop eating my food, and she had the nerve to say deal with it.
Well I was pissed off. So I decided to teach her a lesson. I knew she doesn’t like Spicy food. She isn’t allergic to it or anything, just doesn’t care for it. So one day I decided to put some of the spiciest hot sauce I could find on my sandwich. I put my lunch in the fridge as usual, and when I checked Rebecca took it as normal.
Well I sat near her in the Break Room that day, and she had a smirk on her face as she held my sandwich. When she started to eat it, I could tell her mouth was on fire. She went right up to me and asked why I would do that to her. I told her it’s what happens when you take stuff that doesn’t belong to you.
The manager walked in as she was berating me, and asked what happened. I told her everything. She took Rebecca to her office, and chewed Rebecca out. Turns out, she was always causing issues with co-workers, and always pilling through others stuff. While she wasn’t fired, HR told her that if stuff like this keeps happening, she would be fired.
She hasn’t stolen from me since, and I got an insulated Lunch Bag to keep at my desk to keep people from stealing it.
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Had to prove someone died.
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/strawberryprincess81 on 2023-06-27 16:41:36+00:00. *** This happened in 90s when I was a kid. A family members husband died in work related accident. The wife was paid a boat load of money because the company was using outdated equipment. So she paid off all debts of and her husband's. One year after his death she started getting harassing phone calls/letters about her husband debts she tried to pay they only wanted to talk to her husband. She informed them that her husband had died. She sent a copy of the death certificates (email and mailed) She was still getting calls/letters and legal action if they didn't talk with her husband. Her great grandmother said give me the phone next called she give them the name of the the address and phone number to the cemetery. Low and behold they showed there with a local police officer demanded to see this person. A worker at cemetery walked them to plot where the man's buried. The full name and his picture matched there records. One man responded he wife was telling the truth he's really dead. I was shocked when I heard that. The wife get a letter of apology for any inconvenience and the rest of the debt was canceled.
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Silly wholesome MC
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/thebluepikachu135 on 2023-06-27 10:32:17+00:00. *** So we had a Kahoot and we needed to turn on the projector the power button is on the bottom of it and it’s on the ceiling.
My PE teacher tried to tell my tall friend to“turn it on but don’t use a chair to climb up” implying he needs to jump to turn it on, since he is the only one tall enough to be successful if tried.
I handed him the remote, he realized the MC and he just turned it on, saying the there was no chair used in the process.
We all had a laugh and the teacher took it well, I love that teacher.
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I'm not authorized to go get water? Alright.
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/FrostDragon57 on 2023-06-27 07:54:35+00:00. *** Now before I start here's a bit of context for this situation.
I work in the boat industry as a engine tech and parts painter. I know, quite a broad range right there. Anyway, the company I work for is quite old and the building I work in is even older. The heating system is trash and we really lack anything in the way of air conditioning, and it's boiling outside right now.
Earlier today, I had started overheating really quickly as the temperature rose in the building. I have a medical condition where my body can't regulate temperature well, meaning I am at risk of passing out. I was going to go get a bottle of water from the fridge to help me cool down, when I was stopped by one of the company's managers. Let's call him Kyle for this story.
Kyle: Where are you going?
Me: I was only going to go get some water.
Kyle: You're supposed to be working right now. You can get the water during the coffee break.
Me: I.. I don't think you understand that I can actually be in danger from this heat right now. So, could I please go get one bottle of water?
Kyle: No. You're not authorized to leave your work before the clock strikes. Now shut up, and get back to work.
Me: Roger that..
Keep in mind that this conversation was held in front of my coworkers. Queue malicious compliance.
I got back to work, making sure to put on some extra coal, just to make sure I "made up for lost time". Basically I was forcing my body into shock and heat stroke was just around the corner. Fast forward around 30 minutes, I had to tell my coworkers through my strained breath that I don't feel too good. Which was actually even worse now, as I was working on deck of one of these boats, give or take 3 meters above the floor. When I made my way towards the ladder to climb down I only got out a very strained "Oh... Shit..." as I fell off the back, and was headed straight for the concrete floor below me.
Lucky for me, some coworkers reacted fast enough and managed to catch me before my head was split open on the floor.
I woke up in an ambulance around an hour later. The EMTs were checking my vitals and were actually helping me. My boss came up to the door and asked me what happened. I told him exactly as I told you guys, and I also told him to check with my coworkers if he didn't believe me.
Long story boring, I was brought to the hospital for a check up just to make sure I actually didn't suffer any kind of trauma from the fall. A buddy of mine came with me to make sure I got there and back safe. A few hours passed, and my buddy got a call, he picked it up, and it was Kyle. My buddy handed me the phone, and I heard Kyle on the other end apologizing for actually almost getting me killed.
The short version is that he was heavily reprimanded for what he told me and was put on watch. Didn't lose his position tho so I guess I didn't fully win. But he was liable for the medical compensation for my situation.
I did forgive him and just to rub it in a bit, I just had to ask him. "Am I authorized to get water next time?" And my buddy just laughed.
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You want to know where I am at all times? Your wish is my command.
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Dramatic-but-Aware on 2023-06-27 03:58:17+00:00. *** I've been lurking on this sub for a hot minute, and I saw a post that reminded me of my own MC story. Sorry for any formatting issues since I am on mobile.
This happened about 8 years ago, 1 year into just my first job / paid internship / clerking gig (idk what to call it). The firm that I worked for had a part time program for law students so they could work and gain experience while in school (very common in my country).
I loved my job, I was very grateful for the oportunity to learn and grow and I really enjoyed the work I performed. The thing was I had classes both in the morning and the afternoon / night and my school was at a different side of the city (about 8 miles away that could turn into hours of traffic during rush hour in a city with 8 million inhabitants). So my days looked pretty hectic, as something like this:
5:30-7:00.- get ready and drive to school. 7:00-9:00.- class. 9:00-10:00ish.- drive to work. 10:00ish-17:00.- work. 17:00-18:00.- drive to school. 18:00-22:00.- classes. Then I would try to study for 1 hour after class. And I would often eat while driving.
During my first year in the program I had more than prooved myself and earned my place. I was that 19 / 20 year old idiot, type A overachiver that knew no boundries. I had worked weekends, pulled all nighters, literally I would leave school at 10 fucking pm and go back to work, worked full time in the summers without more pay, anything I had to do to keep the associates happy so they'd keep teaching me.
As I was wrapping my first anniversary there, the perfect storm of aweful rolled around. On the academic front I started a new semester and twice a week in the mornings I had a teacher who was awesome but would finish class 20-30min late.
On the work front, a new partner joined the firm, lets call him AH and kind of took over as unnofficial managing partner. He was the typical old fashioned lawyer that should be extinct by now. He could barely use Microsoft Word to type a contract and would pass out at the sight of an excel sheet. He had this weird obsession with punctuality while simultaniously being late to everything. Plus he moronically believed that by having a bunch of people warming up chairs he would magically make money, so instead of investing time on client development he would just spend endless time and effort on bullying everyone around the office. To make matters worse since other people spoke highly of me he decided to pay special attention to me.
Unsurprisingly, shortly after AH joined the firm started struggling. Now he could've tried to get new clients, send quotes by the deadline and show up to meetings on time. But no, of course the firm was doing poorly because us clerks did not spend enough time warming up the chairs. So he became obsessed with us getting there by 10am, specially me. The issue was that i could not get there by 10 because my teacher finished class late and there was no way I could drive across the city in rush hour in 30 minutes.
So AH called a meeting with all the clerks and yelled at me in front of everyone because I was "always" late,more like 2x a week, but whatever. The fact that I had gotten permision form the program committee did not matter, the fact that I was working 6 or 7 hours everyday while I only had to work 5 did not matter, the fact that I would work weekends and late nights did not matter.
I tried to explain but he'll keep yelling at me and would not let me talk. Having had enough I left the conference room straight into the office of every member of the clerk program committee (1jr associate, 1sr associate and 1 partner) to say the same speech. "I am late because I have class, I have proven my commitment to the firm, but my education is important too, if 30 minutes late twice a week is too big of an issue feel free to fire me, but I am not leaving class early". Then went to my desk to do my work. I guess the committee informed other partners and word got around of what was going on (small firm) because as I was getting ready to leave for school AH came fuming to my desk and told me: "I know you are lying from now on I want to know were you are at all times, and if I catch that you were slacking off or lying, you are fired and I will make sure no one will ever hire you"
So que malicious compliance... The next day I woke up extra early 5:00am sharp, took a time stamped foto and sent it to both his e-mail and phone, since I could not risk him not getting it and him not knowing were I was. I sent a time stamped photo every 5 minutes captioning what I was doing like it was my own personal social media platform of 1 follower. The cherry on top was that my teacher had worked with AH in the past and obviously did not like him very much, so he let me take photos during the class and diligently send them to AH. I even went as far as taking a photo of the toilet door with the text "peeing", and then at at the toilet flushing "all done".
While driving since traffic was really slow I would send a photo and include how much I had moved during that time, sometimes it was something absurd like 100 ft. As soon as I sent a photo of me at my desk he shows up saying that he got the point and I could stop.
A couple weeks later he simply stopped bugging people and started working from home or locking himself up in his office. My guess is I was not the only one to complain and the other partner realized how dangerous he could be for the firm and asked him to back off.
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No Outside Beverage In Amusement Park? No Problem!
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/ErenJaegersLove on 2023-06-27 01:45:33+00:00. *** This is not my story, but this actually happened to one of my besties (we’ll call him Trey) who was recently at a trip with another bestie (who we’ll also call Deuce) and he gave me permission to post this here. Trey happened to be going to the amusement park with Deuce, but Trey had a bottle of water he was drinking before going in and he was stopped by the park attendant from entering because park rules don’t allow outside drinks unless if it’s an empty water bottle and the conversation went like this:
Park Attendant: I’m sorry we don’t allow outside beverages into the park unless if it’s an empty water bottle.
Trey: oh my bad I’ll make sure to finish it right now before entering proceeds to chug the rest of his water until the bottle is empty
Park Attendants #1 and #2: stares in shock with mouth agape how on earth did you finish that in one chug
Trey: you said no outside beverages in the park unless if it’s an empty water bottle, so I had to chug the remaining water until it’s completely empty.
As a result, park attendants #1 and #2 were still speechless, but lets Trey and Deuce into the park without any problems.
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Ownership Says To Just Move $20m in Contracts, I DGAF How You Do It
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/gdwallasign on 2023-06-26 18:39:10+00:00. *** ESPN Sources: The Hawks are finalizing a trade to send F/C John Collins to the Jazz for Rudy Gay and a future second-round pick. Atlanta’s largely unloading Collins’ three years, $78M for some roster building flexibility and alignment with looming changes to salary cap.
The malicious compliance trade of the year. Got off $20m seconds after heated meeting with ownership mandating getting rid of $20m.
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Bad choice Karen!
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/feonixrizen on 2023-06-26 02:32:06+00:00. *** To be clear, I'm the father of u/feonixrizen..
I consider myself to be courteous to everyone. I hold the door open for anyone that is behind me.
One day I was going into a store and saw that there was a lady following right behind me, so I opened the door and stood aside to allow her to pass.
She looked at me, as if I was insulting her and said, "I can get my own door!!!"
So, I went through ahead of her and said, "OK fuck you then." As I pulled the door closed behind me.
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Boss applies policy, employee gets mad, CEO rips employee a new one.
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Eldon42 on 2023-06-26 00:45:07+00:00. *** Back in the early 2000s I was working for a local council in New Zealand. If you're not aware, NZ has a central govt, and a series of local areas around cities or rural boundaries, each run by an elected Mayor and Council.
The day to day business is, of course, done by employees in a typical business structure.
One of the things about this is that all computer systems are regarded as being "owned" by the council, and kinda-sorta by the populace. It a member of the public wants to see what's on the computers, they can make a request under the Official Information Act, and see pretty much anything, except private data. (Private data being defined by the Privacy Act as basically names, addresses, birth dates, phone numbers, etc.)
Also working in the council offices was a small business, that had an exclusive contract with the council. This group handled the more physical aspects of the council systems: maintenance of roads, sewer and water systems, etc. If the council said "we need a new pipe there", this small business made it happen.
Thing is, the Small Business leased (this is important) their computers from the council. The small I.T. team (three people, including me) built and supplied those machines. We owned the software that was on them, and they were connected to the internal council network. This meant they were subject to the same local govt and council policies as the rest of us.
Periodically, we in I.T. would clean out large files. (Early 2000s, when storage was expensive, and we were limited due to budget, etc.)
Now, the staff were fully aware of this, and knew to keep personal files to a minimum. If we, during a purge, found large personal files, we could delete them at our discretion.
During this time we found some... videos... on an SB employee's machine. It was pornographic, and not the nice kind of porn either. The words "fecal", and "mouth" apply.
Because this violated council policy in oh-so-many ways, we deleted it quietly.
The employee in question complained, claiming we had removed "personal" files. (I never saw the videos, happily, but my understanding is that he wasn't in them. They were stuff he had downloaded.)
We pointed at the policy.
He went to the CEO and complained.
The CEO came to us. My boss had figured this might happen (the employee in question was an... interesting... guy), and showed the CEO one of the videos. Which was on the backups, just in case we deleted something we shouldn't and had to restore it. (We were good enough at our jobs that we never had to do that, but better safe than sorry.)
I wasn't there when it happened, but by all accounts the CEO hauled the employee and the employee's boss (boss of the SB) to an out-of-hearing location and ripped them a new one. The only reason the employee wasn't fired was because he technically worked for the SB, and not the council.
FYI, we would regularly block porn sites. But, being the early 2000's, new ones popped up all the time. Unless an employee tried to access them, we probably didn't know they existed. It's not that we were prudes, it's just that most staff weren't stupid enough to browse that stuff at work.
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HS spanish class
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Opposite_Jury_6976 on 2023-06-25 21:18:00+00:00. *** I was inspired by <https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/comments/14ik6tu/the_accidental_mc_against_world_expert/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button>
Im unsure the orignal reason but i think the teacher said we had to write our homework out. I started on the back of a handout (8.5 x 11 page of paper). I wrote really small. I put 6 months of homework on the back of the page.
I think she just checked to make sure i wrote something down. When we played around the world i would usually make it the whole way round. There were 2 or 3 kids that could get a response as fast as me. The same for math class.
Around the world: two students are given a question and the winner proceeds on to the next student.
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My mom is the most maliciously compliant person I know
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Evening_Shopping_865 on 2023-06-25 17:59:16+00:00. *** As the title suggests, this isn’t my story, it’s my moms. So for a little background, my moms soon to be ex husband (they’ve been separated for years) and sisters dad is not a great guy. He’s treated all three of us like garbage basically since I can remember (I’m 21 and they got together when I was about 3). So a few weeks ago, he went over to my moms house to visit with her and my sister as it was supposed to be his night with her. My sister wanted to actually do something with him (even though he sucks, he’s still her dad). He had other plans though. He decided he wanted to go to happy hour at a local bar in my hometown. When my mom asked why he was gonna do that instead of hang out with my sister, he responded “Well I need to find her a mom.” My mother took that personally. Flash forward a few days, and my dad (who lives close by to my mom) was out with some of our family, and he sees my sisters dad there flirting with a girl who was probably at least 10 years younger than him. My dad thought it was hilarious watching him strike out, so he called my mom and told her about it. They laughed for a while and went back to what they were doing. When my sisters dad went back to my moms house that night (no idea why he went there instead of home) he greeted my mom and all she did was turn around and say “oh, did you find your daughter a mom?”
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Should I quit my Job
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/G-KynisKin on 2023-06-25 17:05:16+00:00. *** So, this isn’t exactly malicious compliance but I need some perspective and there are a lot of people here so… I am a Wax Artist at a local Waxing salon. I want to preface by saying, I love my job; I have been waxing for just over six months; I love my clients and the work I do. The problem with my job is… Drum roll Please 🥁 MANAGEMENT! I know this is very common everybodies been through this. Since it’s a family business and not a corporation I cannot complain to an impartial HR person, just somebodies family member.
So, here’s the deal My Supervisor (a. Not really a supervisor b. The Og owners Niece c. A royal pain who cannot take accountability for her mistakes without making boundless excuses.) Has repeatedly made scheduling errors and is consistently late (like up to 30 min) late for work! Resulting in us as wax tech having to do her job on multiple occasions. She only makes excuses for herself, and so does her Mother (the interim Owner).
In one instance I called supervisor girl, as she was no where to be found. To make sure there was some sort of emergency causing her to be late and that she was on the way. She says to me on the phone “dang you guys call me like I work for you!” I later addressed it with her and we resolved the issue but it wasn’t the first time she had snapped at me in an unprofessional manner. A few day after that she aloud a client to bring there NEWBORN in a carrier into her wax appointment! She told me she already had told the client she could bring her child, and to take her. Mind you it was not posed as a question. So performed the service as usual. My other older coworker who had worked for the OG owner chewed supervisor out about it as it is a liability nightmare to allow children in the salon at all.
A scheduling error a occurred where I had to call her again to se did she could communicate with the clients, that thing will be running behind due to her scheduling and eventually just had to do the services as is. I wrote up a long message at the end of the day about how it was not acceptable how I was double-booked and that is like to avoid this in the future. She was making excuses and kept saying it didn’t cause me to be behind (when it did). She then wrote a email visible to all staff (I don’t think she meant to do that) with screenshots of our text convo and incorrect detail regarding what had happened that day! Inaccurate timelines and even botching client names. To put a cherry on top she stated that Myself and my sister both claim to be okay with something and then turn around and have a issue and LASH OUT I was shook.
About my older sister: She has been beefing with this Supervisor because she’s a lot more vocal and confrontational about issues than I am. Ironically, to avoid them saying she agreed to something and switched up. She has now been fired after bringing issues to the interim owner (supervisors mom) about her daughter being unfit for the supervisor roll. I’m This convo she told my sister if she doesn’t like them “don’t work here”
There’s been many more issues and janky business practices, but since my sister was fired I have been staying out of the way and not talking to them unless necessary. I feel they will sink their business and if I don’t get out now I will be standing there without a job. I am making good money and the hours work well with me being in school. I just hate coming in here, I can’t stand them! My other coworkers are also saying they are leaving in a few months. So, Should I quit?
Also I can’t wax independently or go to another salon because there is a noncompete in my employee agreement saying I cannot wax within a certain radius for 24 months or something.
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The Accidental MC Against World Expert
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/HiReddit7685 on 2023-06-25 11:41:29+00:00. *** This occurred back in the 70's and before I start I want to emphasize, I was never stupid enough and will never be stupid enough to use my hidden talent.
Background
I was taking an elective Criminal Forensic (CSI stuff) night course at a local community college. The best part about taking this course was the instructor, which meant an in-depth tour at the U.S. Criminal Forensic Lab where he worked as the Questioned Document Examiner, i.e, handwriting analysis, signature matching, etc.. Also, since computers were barely introduced into forensics at this time, all handwriting analysis/matching was done by hand and this instructor was one of, if not the best, in the world.
The MC, as good as I remember
It was a great course studying many facets of criminal forensics and taking the amazing lab tour. As the course was coming to the end the Questioned Document facet approached, the instructor's specialty. At the end of the class just before it started, the instructor wrote a paragraph on the board, and we each had two sheets of blank, lined paper. He told us to write the paragraph, only the paragraph, anyway we want on one sheet and then again on the other sheet trying to disguise our handwriting, "you are committing forgery". The instructor left and we all started writing. When done, one student (not me) collected all the sheets, mixed them up, and took them to the instructor. We all looked forward to the next class where the instructor would present matched sheets, then explain to us why our "forgery attempts" failed and how he would testify in court to prove it.
Because I wanted to go home I made it easy on myself. For my forgery attempt I wrote the paragraph in Print on one sheet and in Cursive on the other sheet, even though we were told that it is a failed way to disguise handwriting. Now for a little background on my handwriting, its bad, I mean really bad, and I have held pencils/pens wrong since I learned to write. The easiest way to explain it is I write with a closed fist, right-handed. In elementary school my parents hired a tutor to try to teach me to write again from scratch, including putting plastic things on pencils to make my preferred grip uncomfortable, it failed miserably. In high school I had a teacher tell me I would amount to nothing because I had issues writing legibly. Basically, my print is somewhat legible and my cursive, good luck, but that should make no difference? Now, back to the story.
At the beginning of the next class the normal happy, go-lucky instructor looked very upset as he walked in. The first words out of his mouth was if anyone played a practical joke on him he did not appreciate it. The whole class, ~15 students, looked at each other totally confused. The instructor then again tried to get someone to confess, but we all continued to look confused. The instructor calmed down a little and decided to continue with the class as he would normally have done so. From the stack of papers he was handed at the end of the last class, he picked out the top two sheets and said in "court speak" how he deduced that the same person wrote both paragraphs. Then a student would admit it was their failed forgery attempt and the instructor would continue with the next two sheets. When there were just two sheets left the instructor lifted them up for all the class to see. Looking straight at me he said, he could not testify in court saying the same person wrote both paragraphs. With a scared look on my face I said both sheets were mine and I wrote both paragraphs. So in front of the instructor and whole class I again wrote the paragraph, once in print and once in cursive. The instructor walked away, shaking his head and mumbling something like he had never seen this before. After that, the instructor looked at and spoke to me differently as my classmates created some obvious nicknames for me, e.g., "The Forger". I got an 'A' in the class and was very happy when it ended.
Trying to anticipate some questions
- Exactly why I could do this I have no idea. I figured if I was in school today I would be diagnosed with some minor learning disability.
- No, I cannot demonstrate this now. I have not written in cursive in 40+ years and too old to relearn.
- Cursive - Think loopy letters all connected together which thankfully is being forgotten
- I did make a new account for this post
- In the 80s I found a career that matched my handwriting skills, computers
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Buy a new one, or go home
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/HuffPuff92 on 2023-06-25 02:07:02+00:00. *** I used to work at sonic as a carhop. I usually worked 4/5 to close.
One day I was cleaning up all the drinks the day shift left around, and I found a can of monster. I grabbed it, and walked around and asked everybody who was working. The manager, Robert (like normal) was talking to his girlfriend on the phone (assuming based off all the sex talk).
When I asked if it was his, he looked right at me, shook his head and turned away without saying anything. After I finished asking everybody else, I dumped it out and threw it away.
30-45 minutes later he comes up front and went to throw away his trash and seen it in the trash. He. Was. LIVID.
Started screaming, grabbed it out of the trash and started shoving it in people face asking if they threw it away.
I told him they didn’t, I did. He cornered me against the wall and screamed in my face that I was going to leave and go buy him a new one.
Two things. The monster was probably half full (if that), and I HATE being yelled at. And I asked him!
We got into this huge fight about it, him demanding I replace it, me telling him to fuck off. This went on for two hours. It was slow because it was winter, so he sent everybody else home (he was cooking).
Finally he told me I was either going to go buy a new one, or I was going to go home. It was 7 at this point, we closed at midnight.
I grabbed my stuff and went and clocked out. He said if I didn’t go get him a new drink, I was fired. I said okay, see you never.
Not even five minutes after I left, the gm, Jeremy, called me asking why I left, so I told him what happened. He said the other manager can’t fire me as only the gm can and asked me to go back and finish the shift. I told him that I couldn’t do that with Robert yelling in my face like that, that I’d go back tomorrow.
So Robert was fucked the rest of the night. Nobody else (not even Jeremy) would come in. He had to cook and run orders for 5 hours by himself. Pissed a lot of customers off.
And when I went in the next night he asked why I was back since he fired me and it was a joy to tell him he couldn’t do that.
He held a grudge for three whole months.
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My work decided my sweater was sweatery enough. So here comes my new wardrobe..
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Devils_av0cad0 on 2023-06-25 01:15:13+00:00. *** I work at a huge warehouse store that you all shop at. I’m a cashier I ring you up for basic things. Our managers are switching positions constantly so they change the wardrobe rules on the fly. The other day I went to work and was basically sent home because I wasn’t going to buy a new shirt.. and I had worn this shirt a hundred times before over the past six years there. I even bought it there. So.. the rules say that for females it has to be a “blouse” (what the actual fuck even is that anyway?), a sweater, or a collared shirt. These are the only rules. So I’ve been working on my new, entirely dress code compliant tie dyed wardrobe. I’ve got at least a dozen blouses, polos, sweaters, etc now. I’ve done a few pieces for coworkers too. ✌️
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Cop Says Im tresspassed unless I get their permission again.. So I oblige
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/proser30 on 2023-06-24 17:01:09+00:00. *** So I was at this hotel lobby sitting there waiting to go to a resteraunt. All of a sudden 2 cops show up ask me for ID then tell me I have to leave as a lady had complained that she didn't feel comfortable with me there. It was a total Karen call. One cop was kinda a jerk too. He tells me I cannot return without police department permission per city policy or some bs.. They stare at me as I walk to my car. Not sure what it was i was wearing a political slogan shirt but nothing vulgar.
I call the hotel later and ask to speak with a manager who then explains some guest had called and she was kinda a Karen so they wanted to make her happy. The manager said I'm welcome to come back to the property. I was reluctant to give them business again but I could not let the cops or the Karen win.
I go back to the hotel and sit at the resteraunt. I call the police department and inform them I got permission to return. The dispatcher is agrevated and said he is required to send an officer to check. The same cop who was there earlier returns and gives me the evil look. He goes to the front desk speaks to the manager who waves me to the front. The cop pulls out a form that he has to fill out and the manager reviews it and signs it. It was a tresspass removal form. Both seemed very annoyed to have to go through the process but its the law. The cop storms out aggrevated as I smile and say enjoy the day. The manager of the resteraunt gives me a sorta smile and says I didn't have to call the cops back as it was just extra paperwork, but I wanted to comply with the policies haha.. I think I may have saw the Karen walk out giving me a mean look as I was in the resteraunt.
I enjoyed the rest of my meal!!
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I think you guys will enjoy this one
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/breadlee94 on 2023-06-24 08:25:51+00:00. *** <https://jalopnik.com/georgia-auto-dealer-who-paid-ex-employee-with-90-000-oi-1850565176>
Tldr: employee quit. Boss paid final check after being ordered to by the DOL in oily pennies dumped on the employees driveway. Now he has to pay that employee ~40k.
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You want me to speedrun the game so you have someone to talk to? Fine.
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/la_cROAissant on 2023-06-24 05:14:45+00:00. *** Originally posted on r/pettyrevenge but then I realized it fit here too.
I (25F) have a friend (25) who's been wanting me to Breath of the Wild for years now. It's not that I'm not interested in playing. Heck, I bought the game ages ago. I've just been more invested in other things. After five or so years, I finally cracked down to play and absolutely love it. My friend is equally excited and can't wait for me to get to their favorite parts.
No, literally, they can't wait.
Almost daily, I'm hounded with DMs asking how I like the game. Did I meet A yet? Have I done B yet? Have I finished C quest? Why is it taking so long for me to finish C quest????
I prefer taking things on my own time. With a game of this scale, I want to take my sweet time exploring and finding things as I go. I feel like I'm progressing the plot at a decent pace (50 hours into a game that other people have spent 300 on) and I'm doing side fun side quests. Also, I have other hobbies and I've been playing the game along with the other things going on in my life. I've told them as much, and they're not very happy about it.
At first, they were supportive if not a little pushy for me to play the game. When I'd talk about certain plot points and gameplay that I enjoyed, they'd brush off my gushing and say things along the lines of "Oh, you haven't seen anything yet. You're not ready. Keep going." As I juggled between the game's two main missions, they pushed me to do one over the other because "it's where the good stuff happens". Despite me saying multiple times that I wanted to go at my own pace and do both missions together, they hounded me with more messages about how I wasn't playing right and I need plot.
I talked to them about it probably dozens of times, and they explained that they were so pushy because they needed someone else to talk to the game about. No, they wouldn't stop hounding me. I needed to keep going. For them. For our friendship. I'd thank them later. Speedrun.
So I thought, to heck with it. They want me to speedrun, then I’ll speedrun. I used guides and read up things to finish the game as quickly as I could. I honestly have no clue what I did or how I finished, but I did. I eventually sent them a screencap of my finished game file and gave them my honest opinion: I hated it. There was no build up to anything. I didn't know any character well enough to be invested in their struggles and the puzzles ranged from stupidly easy to unnecessarily complicated. That part of the game that they couldn't wait for me to find? Skipped over the dialogue. It wasn’t worth the extra time. After all, I needed to finish the game as soon as possible, right?
Needless to say, we’re not friends anymore.
Now that I’ve returned to my original save file and am playing how I want, I can say that BotW is one of best games I’ve played. Since I skipped over so much for the sake of being petty, a lot of things still feel like new. I have no shortage of other friends to talk about the game with, and thankfully, these ones encourage me to take my time. They can’t wait for me to get to their favorite parts.
But not literally, they’ll wait however long it takes me.
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My friend's mom accused me of "taking her baby away from her", so I did.
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/NationalPicture2498 on 2023-06-24 02:49:26+00:00. *** I have been friends with Sam since I was 6 or 7 when he moved in next door. He had an older sister, Carly, who, reasonably, moved out as soon as she legally could. Sam's mother is what you consider a "boy mom". She always clinged to Sam, and told me I couldn't date him (I was around 11 at the time!!) I always rubbed it off as being "overprotective", but now I'm starting to doubt it. Our families grew close, as I also had an older sister the same age as Carly, giving us all good friends. Because of this, we spend many holidays together, including birthdays. On my Sweet 16, Sam confessed to me as soon as I blew out the candles. It felt magical and unlocked feelings I had buried long ago. Apparently, him and my mom had planned it in advance. Sam's mom witnessed the whole thing, and started a huge tantrum. She started crying and THROWING THE BALLOONS like a toddler! It was completely staged. While doing so, she ended up ruining many decorations, breaking a few dishes, and even ruining the frosting of my proud, homemade cake. She accused me of taking her baby and being EVIL!!! To this day, it still sets me off. That night, Sam snuck into my window, a habit he had started since my room was on the first floor of our house. He came and apologized, saying he would rather never see his mother again than never see me. I was never a pretty girl. My hair was frizzy and I had braces for most of my teenage years. He was very handsome, with fluffy brown hair and charming, blue eyes. He confessed the abuse he had gone through with his mother, and even showed me evidence of text messages and audio recordings. I won't get specific here, but it was definitely good enough for CPS. The next morning, (he slept on my floor), we showed my parents. Fast forward a couple of months, and they gain legal custody of him. We moved a few states away and cut all contact with his mother. She was arrested for his abuse (unfortunately, she was released 8 years ago, I am now 26.) Me and him ended up finishing high school together and we both went to the same University. After University we moved in together. A few days ago, my parents were sent a letter from his mother. We do not plan on responding, but she was threatening us legally LOL as if. He's still going through therapy once a week and I'm helping him heal with me from his trauma. I'm planning on asking him to marry me when we go to Disney Land for the first time together. Revenge is sweet.
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Bring it to your Supervisor... ok
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/ShoulderTight3154 on 2023-06-23 23:48:03+00:00. *** I am a F, and work in an office, there are several men there. For the most part they work with us side by side with no problem.
This one guy has been slowly harassing me, for what reason i am not sure of. I didnt do anything which i know of. I am courteous to all. I even used to joke with him, but his jokes started to draw the line. He was harassing me on a daily basis.
Basically, i have disengage myself from him and stopped joking around. Which i have begun to believe, why he started getting more aggressive with me.
Last week, i vowed to myself that i would approach him if he continued to be aggressive with me. (He isnt like that with anyone else) Low and behold he acted out again. I took a couple of minutes to cool down, and i approached him.
Right away he blew up at me, and said "Bring it to your Supervisor" He wouldnt even listen to what i was saying.
Here is the Malicious Compliance, i didnt just bring it up to our Supervisor, i did one better, i went to the head Supervisor.
I told the HS all the things he was doing to me. They just looked at me and said, "don't worry, i will take care of it from here"
I did see he was pulled into a meeting, through the door i could here a raised voice, it sounded like him. But after that meeting, he is finally behaving as he should.
Maybe he shouldnt have asked me to talk to the Supervisor.
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Customer found a return policy loophole. Or not.
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/griffyn79 on 2023-06-23 20:04:20+00:00. *** Going back 20 years to my best buy days when hd-dvd and blu-ray started duking it out.
As a customer assistant supervisor, i would occasionally help cover other supervisors or some manager duties. During a custer service manager lunch break, a customer came in and wanted to return an open dvd. Policy at the time was that we are unable to return those as piracy was a thing back then that people somewhat cared about.
I let the customer know that I was unable to return the DVD, but I could exchange it for the same item if it was defective or he was having an issue with it. The customer said he'd like to do that and got a sort of grin on his face.
When I came back with the replacement movie, I took the plastic wrapper off in front of him as the grin slid off his face and his mouth went agape. Handing him the DVD, I wished him luck that it worked better than his last copy. The customer retorted something that slips my mind, then tossed the opened DVD back at me and walked away.
I still feel a small sense of satisfaction knowing the customer thought he would then be able to return the replacement "new" dvd.
I just made sure that he got an exact replacement. How was I to know that this wouldn't be good enough?
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Coffee Karen
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/javiba64 on 2023-06-23 13:24:01+00:00. *** Dear daughter (15) works casual at a kids recreation centre and only just started behind the kiosk counter, enter a mum Karen who orders a coffee ($4.40) and wants to pay by card. DD apologises and explains minimum card payment is $5 and she can either pay by cash or can buy something extra to take it up to $5.
Karen gets angry and demanding, says this has never happened before and insists she's paid by card a 'hundred times' before. Eventually Karen demands to 'see the manager!' Enter the manager who takes over the transaction and cops the wrath of Karen. Manager swipes the card and hands over the freshly brewed coffee.
Karen, having won. walks off with a shit-eating grin and a narky comment of "you ought to train your staff better". DD quietly turns to her manager and enquires if it's okay to charge less than $5 to card? "Nah, I charged her $5 for her coffee, she does it all the time but I just over-charge her every time but she think she's won". Miss 15 never felt so satisfied ever.
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My boss's boss told me to spot clean the lot... I brought a pressure washer to work.
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/HellxHoundxX on 2023-06-23 02:10:04+00:00. *** To make a long story short, my boss's boss is a very interesting lady. We'll call her Tracey for this story.
Tracey is a very interesting lady. She is very much the "If you have time to lean, you have time to clean" kind of person.
For those of you who do not know, I am a gas station attendant. I pump gas into your car and keep the store and lot cleaned.
Tracey has a habit of smiting down on those who have free time. It has been a problem since I have arrived. But I am a more what you could say "efficient" kind of person. I try to EARN my free time, and I prefer to keep it that way.
One of Tracey's favorite things to do when someone genuinely has run out of work to do is to tell them to clean the lot. So I saved up my money. I worked my ass off to become indispensible, and I honestly would say I have.
Cue malicious compliance. I just last week bought a pressure washer. One of Tracey's jobs is to go from store to store at least twice a week. And I bided my time with it. I waited until a day where she came to our store while I was working, and my direct boss warned me ahead of time. I busted my ass that day, and got the store clean, but hid the pressure washer away for the sole purpose of this spiteful act.
She arrives. Store is in immaculate condition, she is doing her job, but notices me sitting around and decides to ask me to spot clean the lot. I pull out the pressure washer.
"What are you doing?" She asks with confusion visible on her face.
"What you asked. I bought a pressure washer." I said, with a smirk on my face.
She looks at me, looks at the pressure washer, then back at me and says "Nevermind. Keep doing what you are doing. I have not seen a complaint about you in a year, anyways. Nothing worth firing over."
Anyways, anybody wanna buy a pressure washer? 3000 minimum. 🤣
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Wasn't allowed to leave the bathroom until I took my meds
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/sarra-sagesse on 2023-06-22 18:36:21+00:00. *** I've been giving my dog a cookie when taking my meds in hopes that he will eventually remind me, it's been about a week (I don't always wake up at a consistent time so instead I am teaching him that it's the first time I go to the bathroom after waking up).
A few days ago I forgot to call him over so he didn't see me take them and he wouldn't leave me alone until I pretend took them even though he got a cookie.
Today I wasn't planning on taking them I just needed to run to the bathroom but he blocked the door until I took my meds.
Not how I planned him to alert me but he is making damn sure I take my antidepressants every morning and I am a proud dog momma.
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I want to start of by saying that I work as a housekeeper. So there was this lady. That would constantly piss on the floor and then ask me to clean it up. Some times even up tu 3 times a day. And ...
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/ass_eater- on 2023-06-22 16:21:10+00:00.
Original Title: I want to start of by saying that I work as a housekeeper. So there was this lady. That would constantly piss on the floor and then ask me to clean it up. Some times even up tu 3 times a day. And there clearly wasn't any attempt to get to the toilet on time. *** And eventually I got tired of cleaning it up.Not to mention her shitty personality wasn't much help. So one time i just dipped my mop in it and dragged it throughout her room. Safe to say she learned to use the ducking toilet after that. And when she left I disinfected the room thoroughly.
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Boss tried firing me when pregnant
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Wanderlustchaser on 2023-06-22 07:36:55+00:00. *** This was for my previous company, an Australian Listed Tech / Logistics company in Singapore, where I was the EA to the Co-Founder. We have pretty strict laws protecting pregnant workers from dismissal and it must have really good grounds e.g theft etc. Note: said Co-Founders wife was also pregnant at that time
It was April last year when he gave me a raise for good performance but surprise surprise, after my pregnancy announcement in May, I come into our usual 1 on 1, surprised to see our Global HR joining us on video call. Mind you, everyone in the office could see we were having this meeting as the meeting rooms were glass and transparent.
They then go on about how poor my performance has been, and you know its complete BS when one of the things I had to "improve on" was to sit near the Co founder. We were already all in the office and it wasn't even a big office to begin with. Anyway, whole meeting, I kept quiet while they explained my Personal Improvement Plan and at the end, the Co-Founder says "we really like you, it's nothing personal".
Little did they know my husband is a lawyer. I took said PIP back and went over with him everything in that document, specified all terms that I had to meet in order to pass said PIP, scheduled another meeting with them and went through my points one by one. Husband coached me exactly what to say word for word so they can't use anything against me.
After that meeting they realised they don't really have much grounds to fire me. I was already 5 months pregnant and just had to pull through 2 months before the Co-Founder himself went on paternity leave.
I took the full 4 months and resigned on the last month so I never had to go back to work for him. Found a new job almost immediately because there's high demand but low supply. New job paid 40% more, completely Wfh with the nicest boss and colleagues. Meanwhile, said Co-Founder is still searching for an EA replacement for the past 6 months since I resigned. Guess Karma hit hard.
TLDR: Co-Founder tried and failed to fire me when I was pregnant. Couldn't find my replacement even months after my resignation
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She must go on leave and I won't hear any excuses!
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Oncewasaworker on 2023-06-21 23:05:01+00:00. *** So this happened a few years ago. I was a union delegate at a large firm. We had a manager called Karen (I've written about her before on this subreddit) who was appointed to her role by a director of the company. Let's call the director her "uncle". Karen wasn't very clever. She hadn't finished high school and previously worked as a receptionist. She once told me 40 was half of 100.
Karen is struggling in her job and basically does nothing. Her desk is a mess of paperwork. She also looks after all the small departments like records, security, stores etc. If anyone takes on Karen, the director steps in and Karen gets a get out of jail card. There were a few occasions when Karen got yelled at by a manger for making costly mistakes and Karen was put on stress leave and manager got a warning.
One of paralegals Sally from records comes to me to say she thinks Shes in trouble. Sally recently had six weeks leave. She was forced on leave due to having too much annual leave. Once you have more than six weeks you are forced to go on leave until you have no more than two weeks. Sally tells me that HR and Karen enforced her on leave and she submitted a paper leave form the same day Karen was put on stress leave. Sally went on leave came back the same day as Karen. Sally's leave wasn't. docked. She just got paid as per regular.
While Karen was away they replaced her with Paula who found Karen hadn't really any work for 7 months. I found Paula and asked casually about what happened. She told me on day one she threw all the paperwork out and started over again.
So I attended a meeting with Sally, Karen and HR knowing there isn't a record of Sally's leave. Karen starts the meeting on a verbal rampage about not doing as she told Sally to do. Sally needs to go on leave now or else and she doesn't want to hear excuses. I interject at this point and point out to HR that Karen behavior is unacceptable, but we agree ( que MC) as Sally has over 8 weeks leave now, she will go on leave effective tomorrow. Sally submits a leave form to Karen, and we leave the meeting. Sally leave is reduced on her pay slip this time. No one questioned a thing.
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I Once Shot 2 People At a strip club for saying I’m gay
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/AdWorth5222 on 2023-06-21 19:58:57+00:00. *** My name is Charlie I’m 34 years and one day I shot people at a strip club here’s what happened. Couple days ago I was in my car and my friend called me and asked me if I want to go to the strip club and I said yes because I never been there. After I said yes I drove over to the strip club and wa thinking if I should bring a gun in for protection. I started thinking ways to sneak a gun in and I found a idea. Sticking a gun up my ass. I grabbed my gun and stuck it up my ass. It gutted so much I couldn’t walk for a minute. After finding a way to endure the pain I walk towards the club and show them my ID and get in the club. while in the club I saw my friend with a bunch of girls so I walked towards him and started chatting. While we were chatting she asked me if I want drinks so I said yes. After I got my drinks I started drinking and got drunk. While I was drinking a couple of gay people walk towards me and starts chatting with me. I didn’t mind because I was drunk at the time. We chatted for a couple of minutes till I had to go to the bathroom. The gay people followed me into the bathroom. While I was using the bathroom the gay dude pushed me back from the urban and started stroking my dick. He was enjoying it but I wasn’t. I told him to stop but he said “Come on gay boy don’t be a bitch” I got angry and pulled down my pants and took the Glock out of my ass and loaded the gun and shot at him and his other friend. They were both screaming in pain and the people started in the club started yelling and rushing to leave. I hid the Glock and pulled up my pants and left the bathroom and left the club and drove off.
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Company wants paper or email to remove me from listing
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Pattoriku95 on 2023-06-21 19:31:25+00:00. *** hey guys, I've been lurking on these posts via their Facebook renditions. So this is my first post.... I got (and sold) my first vehicle in 2015. Having grown up in foster care, i had no idea i had to report that sale. The new owners ran a red and I've had collection agencies holding me ever since. Im disabled so money is limited. If i ran the light myself i would have just paid anyway. But i won't responsible for others mistakes. So i call the damned company, and they want to either be paid, or be sent proof it was sold almost a decade ago. That apartment i lived in caught fire, and i had to move within days. So many valuables were left behind... Including important documents. They wont take no for a fucking answer. 🤬🤬🤬 so i warned them, stop emailing and mailing me, before i respond in kind. So, denizens of reddit, how can i sign them up for hundreds of weekly newsletters and emails quickly? I warned them to leave me alone, they deserve what happens next. Im sick of the anxiety attacks....
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Don't want to sleep near a black guy? Sleep in a field instead!
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Halo_3_Is_Awesome on 2023-06-18 16:24:15+00:00. *** So this story isn't mine, it's my great-grandpa's. For some context, this was during the Korean War. This story specifically takes place in 1950. Also, my great-grandpa was in charge of a project, which I won't say what it was for privacy's sake, but one of the other people working on it was a Tuskegee Airman. Also, this story is not very long, because I don't remember many details.
Story: So one day, a racist old guy (I think he was a sergeant) was supposed to stay at my great-grandpa's air field. They were gonna put him in a tent on a cot like everyone else. However, when it was time for bed, the racist old guy found out that the guy on the cot next to him was the Tuskegee Airman. The racist old guy had a freak out that he had to sleep near a black guy. He demanded that his stuff be moved somewhere else. So, his stuff was moved about 50 yards out into a field. He was obviously mad, but he just stormed off, got his stuff and went to the other airfield nearby. They never heard from him again.
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I have to set a SMART goal? Okay
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/yolkofficial on 2023-06-21 18:48:52+00:00. *** I've been reading through this sub and I think I've got something close enough to the point, but I understand if it's not exactly what this sub is about.
So I've always hated SMART goal setting, the most influential/traumatizing years of this being middle school, but I recall the first run in I had with them was elementary school, fifth grade to be exact.
You know Read About? It was this computer program with some adapted paper lessons to go along with it, I believe this was about 2015(?). I hated Read About. Let me say that again, I HATED Read About. That damn condescending Nick always correcting me and just existing. Do I have good writing/reading comprehension now? Yes. Was it because of that program? I don't know, I clicked through a lot of it because I just had a strong irrational hatred for it(maybe it messed with my ADHD, maybe I just hate learning information by being told I'm wrong instead of just telling me what I'm supposed to get out of it).
What's all that for? To explain my first frustration that caused my supposed MC. The second is the teacher herself. She was prim and proper without balancing books on your head and with my troubled attitude at the time, we didn't see eye to eye all the time(one time she had us do a creative writing assignment acting like we were pilgrims to the new world and I went in depth about life on the boat and when I got the assignment back she had crossed out a lot of it), but we still got along.
So, she tells us we have an assignment about setting goals. I can tell from the formatting of the paper it's a Read About assignment. And here's the thing about the assignment and any goddamn time after I've been forced to be around a SMART goal worksheet, the expectation that isn't written is this is supposed to be a goal about being successful or doing good specifically in school. Now I am a suck up at times, but I'm not going to lie about "yes I'm gonna do my best in school and get A's and go to college" because no. That's how I feel now and that's how I felt then. They don't tell you this, but they will hand you back your goal and tell you it isn't good enough if you aren't being an academic suck up. I had a superstitious force about this even at 11, and so when I'm given the paper, I give her a damn goal: not die. To the best of my ability (I'm 18 now), I believe this is what I wrote:
S, specific: my goal is not to die.
M, measurable: yes.
A, achievable: I can achieve this by being careful and not dying.
R, relevant: dying is bad.
T, time bound: it is forever.
Along with that, there was a section for what do you do when you reach your goal, and I remember this very well, I wrote: each time I almost die I will throw a party to celebrate my life.
I handed it in and some days later I got pulled out of class by the counselor whom was very concerned that a fifth grader would write this(back in 2015 this would be out of the norm) and I cried and just said I thought the assignment was stupid. I wasn't in trouble, howmever I wasn't made to do the assignment again. Sigh, if only middle school me could've figure out a way around it like I did in elementary school.
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Husband who dumped me now pays me not to file for divorce
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/BlacksmithOpposite47 on 2023-06-21 17:47:18+00:00. *** My husband of 25 years decided he wanted to split up. I unsuccessfully begged him to change his mind, and spent a lot of nights crying on the bathroom floor.
One thing to note is that I carried the health insurance for the family. He is self-employed.
When he wouldn't change his mind, we filed for legal separation and he moved out. In the meantime, I got a BANGIN' new job that covers 100% of the health and dental insurance premiums for the entire family, with a $100 deductible. Sweeeeet.
He is still allowed to be on my insurance, since we are legally separated rather than divorced, and it costs me nothing to have him on my insurance. But I am petty as hell. So I charge him $400 a month for something that costs me $0. He of course is welcome to get insurance on his own in the marketplace, which would probably cost at least 2x that amount for an equivalent policy. I make sure he knows it costs me nothing, nada, zip to have him on my insurance, and that his $400/ month payment is funding my upcoming trip to Spain.
If you have a legal separation, getting a divorce in my state is just a matter of filing a form and paying $60. If I did that, he couldn't be on my insurance anymore. So he is basically paying me $400 a month not to file for divorce, after not wanting to be married anymore. I love it.
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Bring it to your Supervisor... ok
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Salt-Butterscotch-79 on 2023-06-21 17:39:32+00:00. *** I am a F, and work in an office, there are several men there. For the most part they work with us side by side with no problem.
This one guy has been slowly harassing me, for what reason i am not sure of. I didnt do anything which i know of. I am courteous to all. I even used to joke with him, but his jokes started to draw the line. He was harassing me on a daily basis.
Basically, i have disengage myself from him and stopped joking around. Which i have begun to believe, why he started getting more aggressive with me.
Last week, i vowed to myself that i would approach him if he continued to be aggressive with me. (He isnt like that with anyone else) Low and behold he acted out again. I took a couple of minutes to cool down, and i approached him.
Right away he blew up at me, and said "Bring it to your Supervisor" He wouldnt even listen to what i was saying.
Here is the Malicious Compliance, i didnt just bring it up to our Supervisor, i did one better, i went to the head Supervisor.
I told the HS all the things he was doing to me. They just looked at me and said, "don't worry, i will take care of it from here"
I did see he was pulled into a meeting, through the door i could here a raised voice, it sounded like him. But after that meeting, he is finally behaving as he should.
Maybe he shouldnt have asked me to talk to the Supervisor.
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Dominant
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/goddesssama22 on 2023-06-21 13:05:47+00:00. *** I am a DOMINANT woman, who enjoys training men on how to be a loyal and submissive man, ready to please his partner and how to live the alternate BDSM lifestyle. I’ve led the BDSM lifestyle for years now, i am not into blood or scat or any form of permanent markings or bruises, i am not into much pain at all, rather, i like the kinky role play, bondage play, pussy worship,foot worship, and other special ways at pleasuring one’s partner.
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Boss wants me to cut internet to employees. I comply.
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/mdlapla on 2023-06-21 10:02:53+00:00. *** When I was at the university, a friend landed a part time job doing networking for a really small company and asked me if I wanted in because he also had other customers and was worried he wouldn't be able to handle them all.
It was easy money, 12 hours per month, to basically mantain the network infraestructure, upgrade firmware on routers, check logs, run antivirus software and install some shit on computers, so I said yes.
The company used to fix and sell printers and printer related stuff.
It was run by two ladies that were friends, let's call them May and June, but the CEO in functions was May's husband, let's call him CEOPeter, who was also June's husband best friend.
The rest of the company were AccountantPeter, that shared the name with the CEO, some technicians that were never there and two hardworking sales representatives.
Basically, the accountant, technicians and sales reps were the only ones doing work there.
Even though May and June were also, technically, sales reps, they hardly ever made a call.
May spent all day browsing internet for things to buy (her thing was shoes), June spent all day chatting with another guy (not her husband) who also shared the name with the CEO, let's call him ThirdPeter, and CEOPeter spent all day watching pr0n, yes, at work. May appeared to have no problems with CEOPeter habits.
I spent most of the time there trying to clean CEOPeter's computer from the myriad of viruses that he would install browsing sketchy sites, and even when I complained a lot about it to him, he said that he didn't know why there were so many viruses and kept doing it every single day.
The place was full of drama, and after a while, me and my friend would pretend to have work to do there and spent time there just for the LOLs.
One day, May approaches me furious, saying that she caught one of the sales reps browsing internet instead of doing calls, she wanted to disable internet for the reps. I checked the logs, the rep browsed the specs of one of the machines she was selling, a newer model she wasn't familiar with.
So, queue malicious compliance. I disabled internet for the whole company.
About 2 minutes later, May, June and CEOPeter came running to the server room, shouting about what the hell was happening to their internet. Accountant and sales rep pretty much never realized something changed, because they were hard at work.
I told them that May made me do it. She said "but just to the reps!" and I told them some bull that I couldn't block a specific IP because they were assigned dynamically, so they were about to change and blah blah blah...
CEOPeter was red as a tomato. He demanded to reinstate internet for everyone. I looked at June, she noded. I looked at May, she said "are you sure you can't just for them?" I said no. She exhaled. "OK, them, Internet is back up".
TLDR: Owner that spent the day browsing internet asked me to disable internet for the hardworking employees, I disabled internet for the whole company, and the only ones that complained were the slacker owners and CEO.
PS1: Company dissolved when June sent an email meant for ThirdPeter to AccountantPeter while he was looking at a thing with CEOPeter, who saw the email. That day I think we spent like 4 hours in the company, the only thing lacking was popcorn.
PS2: CEO Peter made hilarious attempts to hide his pr0n usage. Once he had a CD named something like "big breasted gals" and told me it was a kid's movie.
PS3: June had a post-it note with her password at one side of the screen.
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My boss continues to descend...
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/RealityBytes2023 on 2023-06-21 01:47:33+00:00. *** Thank you for the outpouring of support. It makes me feel good to know that I am not crazy for feeling this frustrated/amgry. Because of this I wanted to share an update.
Today my company's engineering manager, a contractor and golden child of the CTO, quit today. My parents asked me to help find them a replacement.
I explained to them that they needed to pay enough for that person to have a 1BR apartment in the Bay Area at the very least, which made their heads go 🤯. They want to ask one of my best friends, a very qualified recruiter to find someone - they used him before but now since the CTO has rejected so many candidates and selected his own inept cronies, he doesn't want to help anymore. They also thought they could turn me into an hourly employee ot simply atop paying me so they can hire this purple squirrel - given their track record, they might get someone, but they will quit once they learn how dysfunctional thus company is.
Meanwhile, I spent the day working on my business and lined up a nice contract starting on August and lined up.some other work.
This is getting painful.
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Punched in the face...long story but hilarious 😂 (I think)
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/MineThen5353 on 2023-06-20 22:54:29+00:00. *** This was long ago and far away (Pittsburgh Pa.). I was fresh out of the Marines in the early 80's and qualified for very little that did not require a vertical butt stroke to the face of an opponent. I was young and raw, but looking for work.
I was fortunate to land a bank job as a "repo" guy staffed in an old bank branch in Dormont. The place was filled with crotchety old men who were nice, but best described as "dead enders". They knew their careers were finishing in the collections department working in the 20+ member bullpen.
My immediate boss was "Bill". An old Army vet who trained me and took me under his wing on what to do and what to avoid. Now Pittsburgh in the 80's was a tough town. The steel mills were closing and the bank was crazy busy being dicks with foreclosures and repos at record levels. Most of the time I was as nice as I could be, trying to empathize with people losing their cars and such.
One customer was a pain in the ass. An aluminum siding and windows salesman who hadn't paid in over 6 months. I was under a lot of pressure to find the car. One night I approached his neighbor (little old lady) who told me he came home once a week on Fridays and then stayed at his girlfriends house. I had her permission to hide in her bushes with a key in hand from the dealer. So Friday found me in her bush 😉
Anyway, around 2000 this guy pulls into his driveway and scampers into his house. It appears that he was coming right back out as the car door was left open so I took off and jumped in. I put the key in and...nothing...the car was turning over, but wouldn't start. I look up at the house in panic and see the blinds jerked back and this guy screaming. I said, don't panic give it some gas and lo and behold the car started...I backed out the driveway as this guy came roaring out of the house. He chased me for bit as I came to a stop and gave him the finger (this part of the story is important to remember.
I took the car, which was full of siding samples and windows to the repo lot, filled in some paperwork and enjoyed my weekend knowing the accolades i would receive on Monday morning.
MONDAY MORNING. As I entered the bank I was approached by the "big" boss Don who told me to follow him to his office. I knew something was wrong as he was very gruff. As soon as I entered Bill (boss man) was in my face. Like literally in my face jabbing my chest with his spittle on my glasses. I don't know what came over me, but I punched him. In the face. Broke his nose..blood gushing. I turned and left the office, the bullpen staring at me, completely silent with their mouths open.
I went home expecting the police and job termination. Needless to say, my wife was not happy. At 10 the next morning I got a call from Don asking me to come in to his office. When i got there, Bill was there with his nose all taped up and his eyes beginningto blacken. I started to apologize, but Don interrupted and said no "Bill has something to say to you.". Bill went on to apologize to ME! Can you imagine? I was dumfounded, but Don said Bill should never have assaulted me as he did(?)
I retained my job and did apologize to Bill. Apparently when I repo'd the aluminum salesman car, he had a heart attack chasing after me in the street and immediately sued the bank claiming emotional damages. Bank management wanted everything swept under the rug and I benefited from the chaos.
Lesson learned: punch your boss in the face and everything will be 👍 ok!!!!
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Teacher lost it
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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Domo_Attack on 2023-06-19 19:51:02+00:00. *** So, my best friend loves everytime I tell this story. So, I thought I would share with all of you. In high school I had an AP English teacher who was very opinionated in her grading. If she loved a book the class had to read and you didn't, you didn't get a good grade on your report when you turned it in. I was an avid reader. In fact I cleaned out my school library in 3rd grade. So, lets just say I wasn't a fan of her literally selections.
She was also the kind of teacher that thought her class was the most important one you had. Due to this the work load was quite substantial. Coming up on our final exam she gave the class a talk one week before the final. She would be weighting our grade for the sysmester giving 60% of it to the final. She explained she was "preparing us" for college. However, since she was giving so much weight to the final, she would give us an opportunity to earn extra credit. For every four lines of the epic poem "The Rhyme of the Ancient Marinor" you could memorize and write verbatim on the back of the test you would receive 1 point of extra credit. "Goodie goodie hands time😁"
I had a rough year due to her grading style. So, I was getting a B in the class at the time.
HOWEVER, THIS WAS MY MOMENT TO SHINE!
I have a knack for remembering things. In fact as a freshman I learned all the lines for the lead role of Neil Simons "Rumors" two hours before opening night due to the lead dropping out. I then preformed the role for 3 nights without dropping a line. So, this opportunity seemed made for me and I wasn't going to let it pass by. I got home and looked up the poem. It was well over 400 lines. I got to work.
The final exam finally came. I sat down confidently in my seat and egerly waited to receive my test. We received our 15 page final and were told we had 3.5 hours to complete it. I put my name at the top and immediately flipped it over to the back. For the next 8 minutes I ravenously wrote out 400 straight lines from the epic poem verbatim. That step complete I decided to look at the questions she intended for us to answer. It was filled with multiple choice, essays, and fill in the blank questions. I took a few minutes to fill in the blanks I knew, guessed at the multiple choice ones I didn't know, and completely ignored her biased essays.
Now for the fun part. After a grulling 15 minutes total into the 3.5 hour final,😂 I walked triumphantly to the teachers desk. I flipped the test on her desk and said, "Have a great summer." She said, "Very funny it's a 3.5 hour final. Sit down and finish your test." I responded, "No! I'm finished I got over 100%." She said, "Let me see your paper!" She looked through my test. She saw the empty essays and empty fill in the blanks. Now even more annoyed with me she said, "You haven't answered half of these! It's a 3.5 hour final! Sit down and finish your test!" I wouldn't be denied. I said, "No! I'm finished I got over 100%!" At this point she is getting very upset and her color in her face is starting to shift. "How do you think you have over 100% when you haven't done half the test?" she demanded. With a big smile I said, "Look at the back. You said for every 4 lines of the rhyme of the Ancient Marinor we memorized and wrote on the back, we would get 1 point of extra credit. You will notice I have written 400 lines from the poem. By my math the equals 100% of extra credit. Anything I answered in this nonsense is gravy. So, I got over 100%!" She turned beat red, her knuckles were white holding my paper, and she stared at me with hate in her eyes! I said, "Have a great summer!" As I walked out feeling like I had just dropped Mike Tyson with a single blow.
I got an A in the class. My final was 145% out of 100.