Gastronomical Masterpiece

What fucking godless heathen eats rice with ketchup

Americans. They would even eat old car tires with ketchup.
- I’ve never heard of anyone eating rice with ketchup before.
- Ketchup rice is a Japanese dish. https://www.chopstickchronicles.com/ketchup-rice/#recipe
- Lol, we really don't do this. But it's fun to fuck with people.
- Nah dude. Just a little bit of soy or tonkatsu sauce.
- more like people in America sometimes eat it. just like how people everywhere sometimes do everything and stupid nationalism only divides everybody more.
- I've never seen a fellow citizen that was older than 9 eat rice w/ ketchup.
  
  It's butter, salt & black pepper in the southern USA, at least.
- Only all-season radials.
  
  We got standards, you know.
- Haha I don't know many American adults who eat ketchup on more than a few foods. Maybe burgers, maybe hot dogs, probably french fries. Most of us hate how it smells too.
- Don’t knock it till you try it.
That's the joke
Agreed
Me sometimes when I have no energy for anything else :| been doing it since I was a kid
Have you never tried it? It's quite good, though I haven't done it since I was a child.
- As a kid I used to eat ketchup on baked potatoes. Probably not bad, but it still grosses me out to think about it.
  
  Ranch dressing was another good one for baked potatoes. I'm not interested in that now either, but ranch feels much more respectable than ketchup.

As an Asian this whole thread feels so weird and I can't tell if people actually eat rice with ketchup or they are tricking me into trying an abomination

French here. I admit I used to eat rice with ketchup when I was a kid. I'm disgusted with myself thinking about it now.
- you WHAT?
- I used to eat ketchup sandwiches when I was a kid. Just ketchup between two pieces of bread.
  
  I also liked yogurt and cottage cheese mixed together.
  
  Kids are weird.
- You frenchies do some nasty shit sometimes. Very high cuisine but the day to day sometimes is weird (I have some colleagues that told me this)
Mayonnaise
- Japanese comfort food frequently calls for either ketchup or Japanese mayo in/on rice. Omurice being a prime example.
I mean it's more like childrens' food so abomination is a bit of an exaggeration but it's certainly nothing interesting. It's rice with ketchup.
- Why can't y'all just make normal children's food like chicken curry with rice? Stop putting so much sugar and corn syrup in everything.
  
  If this continues we'll have to retaliate: see how certain East Asian countries make pizzas and burgers and see how you like it! (PS: it was flatbread with corn and ham as the only toppings)
  
  Oh and the original answer: since so many people have already answered soy sauce, I'd say chicken soup or pork broth.
I wouldn't say it's common, but I also wouldn't say it's unheard of...and I would never put it past Americans to try an odd condiment application.

Honestly though, when you look at the ingredients, it's not too drastically far off from the ingredients of a sauce you might specifically put together as part of a more traditional rice dish: tomatoes, vinegar, onion, garlic, ginger, coriander, cumin... bit heavy on the sugar but a lot of sauces in Asian cooking are even sweeter.

I agree it seems repulsive on the surface to me too, but now that I've been thinking about it...I kinda wanna try it.

Soy sauce

This is the only way tbh
Fish sauce and butter is nice too.
But like, with a bit of mayonnaise, right?
- If you must
Yo soy sauce
sesame oil
- Alright, now we're moving towards a stir fry, ngl kinda want a stir fry rn now.

Uhh.. Soy.. Soy sauce.

And furikake!
- Oh hell yes

If you're asking who'd put rice with ketchup - my sister used to put ketchup on her popcorn. Microwave popcorn. Pre-buttered.

I'm sorry you had to see such depravity, and so close to home
That was a difficult up vote because my thumb was just so disgusted with your sister
your sister might be swedish

Butter, parmesan, salt and pepper

Cheese with rice? Damn
Remove butter, put EVO, remove parmisan, put Parmigiano Reggiano, you have a masterpiece
- I tried searching for EVO but just came up with a pan/bowl type. Could you tell an uninformed fool (me) what is EVO?
- Agree, I dont have reliable access to EVOO or good parmigiana. If I had my way all the time it would be thyme and lavender and oregano infused olive oil with cucumbers as well as a three way mixed Parmigiana, Asiago, Oaxaca or dried mozarella.

Gochujang

1 billion dollars with a side of 1 trillion dollars, next question

But the only thing you can do is eat it. Nothing else.
- Not seeing the problem here.
- Is the money fresh?

Soy sauce.

Butter. Nuff said.

The ol' end of the month fried rice.

Who the hell puts ketchup in rice??

Stuffed bell peppers you can probably substitute the tomato sauce with ketchup, idk if it would be any good, but you could I guess.
Kids. I remember doing this when I was 8-10.

Sir, this is a wendys.

Ketchup would be one of my last choices anyway. Maybe with certain mains like fried chicken or chicken fried steak (ok, some people say that's weird but it's what we did at Furr's Cafeteria).

Right now, probably Marie Sharp's Beware Habanero sauce. Second choice, chimichurri.

Milk, cinnamon, sugar, raisins. Heat in microwave.

Yum.

Those bottles of chili crisp with the face of an angry/disappointed looking Asian lady on the label. So good.

Laoganma
So good! Ty their other sauces as well. I think there's four or five available in the US.
- Which one should I try? I think there is this one with beans in it, right?

None

🍚

Raw egg cracked in and beaten to temper and cook in piping hot rice. A little soy sauce. Maybe some sesame seeds.

Tamago kake gohan.

say the full name, coward
- Huh?

Butter and salt. Or soy sauce. Anything except ketchup really....

Well, how would you use ketchup if there is no ketchup, silly

Roundup herbicide

Teriyaki and Sriracha

Mayonnaise.

is lazy person risotto ._.
- Not even approaching risotto
Excellent! I thought I was the only deranged person who loves freshly cooked rice with some mayo. I've noticed a lot of people really look down on mayonnaise for some reason, when all it is, is some egg and oil, salt optional but great IMO, and some lemon juice to complement, also optional. I feel that just goes really well with a starch like rice!
- I don't want to entirely pull the rug out from under you, but you may still be the only person who loves that. I was making what I intended to be an obviously disgusting joke. I'm sorry. :P

Butter, salt & black pepper.

Japanese barbeque sauce

My 9 year old literally eats steamed rice with ketchup and if given this choice he would just it to die.

Your 9 year old just offended countries where rice is a large part of their food culture
- They tend to do that. 9yo humans are just naturally offensive creatures 🤷
- The sad story is he was diagnosed with Celiac at 3, and as such has grown up with a lot of food issues. It's developed into like a fear of new foods, and his crutch is ketchup, which is the lesser of evils at this point. We think it's crossed into ARFID, and he's in OT.
Oof, has he tried soy sauce or teriyaki?
- Copying my reply to someone else, the sad story is he was diagnosed with Celiac at 3, and as such has grown up with a lot of food issues. It's developed into like a fear of new foods, and his crutch is ketchup, which is the lesser of evils at this point. We think it's crossed into ARFID, and he's in OT.

KEWPIE Deep-Roasted Sesame Dressing and Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce

This combo hits all the right flavor notes.

An egg

Raw.

With a drizzle of dark soy sauce and a sprinkling of toasted sesame seeds.
- You know what's up.
  
  I usually throw a bit of miso in before cooking and add avocado if I have it
How would you eat an egg without ketchup?

salted butter

Teriyaki sauce

Garum, obviously. Ave, Imperator!

There's a company claiming that they analyzed rests of garum found in some ancient vase and reconstructed the recipe. You can now buy Garum supposedly same as the Roman one. https://www.amazon.com/Matiz-Flor-Garum-Premium-Spanish/dp/B07CRMQZP5
- I don't know if I'd actually be brave enough to try it, but I'm tempted.

Femboy cum

That's disgusting. Where do you source yours? So I can avoid it of course.
- I can provide you with some locally and ethically sourced. For testing purposes of course

Tabasco.

Blood, blood! Gallons of the stuff!

Salt may not be sauce, but it's the only answer

Garlic sauce and sambal oelek

Sweet and Sour, makes like a pseudo-dessert thing. That or soy dosed with wasabi~

Sweet chili or Tonkatsu.

I'm probably going to be slaughtered by an angry mob for mentioning this, but pesto also works.

Satay I think

Rice seasoning and soy sauce.

Taco Bell hot sauce packets

Can't believe no one's said spritz of lemon juice yet. That was my go to as a kid.

Lemon juice and Sriracha is also amazing

Sesame Seed oil

Good rice, well prepared, needs no sauce. Ketchup wouldn’t even enter my mind.

Do you really believe that people who have sunken so low that they consider ketchup would have either used good rice or would know how to prepare it properly?

Mashing feta cheese into hot rice is amazing

Sweet & Sour

alfredo sauce. brings me right back to big family nights out at olive garden when my dad would slip the waiter five bucks to pretend like they just ran out of pasta

With egg fried rice I see no problem with such proposition.

Just recently I ate rice with some sweet soy sauce, kewpie mayo, and spicy chili sauce. The chili sauce can be replaced with some ketchup instead if it's out.

Anus? Or?

It rhymes…

Rice is perfect. I'm not putting anything on it.

Tamago-kake gohan. Mix up soy sauce and a raw egg and pour over the rice. If it's piping hot it will slightly cook. Great for a hangover!

apple sauce. seriously, try it.

don't mix them together right away, but scoop them after each other with a fork.

True, but isn't that just a classic milk rice dessert?

lao gan ma

Flavor incarnate. White food has no equal

Curry. Or season it with pepper, curcuma and garlic.

Kewpie and Maggi seasoning

Okay but if you've never had rice with sesame seed dressing you're depriving yourself. Shit's like magic.

homemade chili sauce, likely some soy sauce and tomato paste

🫘🫘🫘🫘 (beans)

Sweet chili sauce

Melted cheese or coco milk with curry

Molé, I put that shit on everything.

Chocolate Quik or Maple Syrup

Mustard

Sour cream and sugar.

sugar and fat like ghee

Shirachea sauce

I have a friend who puts ketchup on ANYTHING. I've seen him order $30 medium rare steaks at nice restaurants and then smother them in ketchup. People we don't know at all have come up to us just to ask about it, and they've all left just as confused and angry about it as we (his friends) are.

Mayonnaise

I did a bit of that vomit noise reading this. Touche!

Kool-Aid. Sharkleberry Fin.

GOOD soy sauce, not that brown salt water they sell everywhere as "soy sauce". The wasabi situation is even worse.

Fish sauce and sriracha

Garlic cock sauce

Teriyaki Mayo

Why use a sauce? It just needs a bit of cilantro and peppermint.

Yum, soapy toothpaste flavour.
- Lul, add some coconut milk for that added skin cream effect.

peanut butter

Ranch salad dressing

straight to jail

BBQ sauce. It's like ketchup but better.

Raw egg. Seriously, it's awesome

I, obviously, would mix ketchup mayonnaise and mustard like some fucking baby.

There is no ketchup. In any form.
- Man, no banana, no ketchup. What a deprived life!
  
  I could definitely do without ketchup though. I already don't use it lol
- In that case I'd use sweetened tomato puree and vinegar.