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Crazy boomer who sends crazy texts to her kids surprised nobody wants anything to do with them
  • She's still alive? I thought she died of a drug overdose.

  • WyR have a cupboard in your lower back or a drawer in your thigh?

    Let's say they have roughly the same usable volume.

    WYR: Be a professional snail trainer, but have a corner office with a view or be a rockstar, but have to wear a chicken costume on stage every night?
  • Snail trainer sounds like it pays shit. A corner office with a view could mean I'm in the back corner of a strip mall between a crystal shop and the screenprinter used solely by the local school district with a view of the dumpster.

    Chicken Rockstar sounds like the better choice even if the stage is at a "Cluck-ie Cheese"

  • What's the dumbest reason you've learned a programming language?
  • no other languages out there where you can just write some code in VIM directly on the server through SSH and immediately see your results without any further setup

    laughs in coldfusion

  • Tickling rule
  • Is this a study on the best way to handle a kid walking in on mommy and daddy during "grown up" time?

  • WYR a talking chicken that refuses to be house-trained/diapered or a talking snake that eats random items?

    They follow you everywhere and will mysteriously appear whenever you're sure you've shaken them. If they die while in your care then you turn into that animal.

    The hen's poop contains all the normal pathogens and smells, it also enjoys shoulder rides and isn't afraid to peck you. The snake will eat things it cannot digest if you don't stop it and will occasionally try to eat things it cannot even swallow.

    The hen enjoys talking about cocks while the snake is vocal about its rather questionable political views.

  • Surely the first option should include no electric washer/dryer since the second option includes no dishwasher.

  • Rule
  • And Dubya of course... Misunderestimate, "how is our children learning", "put food on your family", "mission accomplished"

  • WYR: have the superhuman power to find lost socks or the superpower to perfectly arrange desk drawers.
  • I don't have any desk drawers but I do have socks. And maybe one day my sockdar will tingle when I'm out and about and I'll find a sock with a grand rolled up in its toe that someone hid and lost after robbing a bank.

  • WYR: Have the ability to talk to house plants or the ability to shoot a tiny harmless puff of glitter out of your fingertips.
  • Talking to house plants could be turned into a new life as a spy or PI (albeit a very niche one). I don't imagine plants would be super talkative so it probably wouldn't get too annoying. Glitter finger farting doesn't have any uses I can think of besides pranks and crafts. So I'll go plants.

  • WYR: Have the ability to record all your dreams in video form or never forget a name again.
  • Definitely the dream one. That'd be so cool and useful for developing the technology to record dreams (get as many measurements as you can each night, then use the recording as the known good results to train an ML model). Or combine it with lucid dreaming to help film movies without needing cgi.

  • Underconsumption Rule
  • Have you checked if he's dissolving caffeine tablets in Brita?

  • WYR:Your girlfriend and your mom switch bodies. (Or boyfriend and dad, whatever sex you prefer)
  • So you either fuck a decayed corpse or an immaterial ghost. Either way mutual orgasm is going to be rough.

  • WYR: be able to run at 100 mph or fly at 10 mph?
  • Run. I want to really confuse a traffic cop.

  • WYR: be the same sex you are now but the ugliest person in the world, or the opposite sex but the most good looking person in the world?
  • Latter, might as well try something new. Plus I'd be able to offer a unique perspective afterwards.

  • WYR: have a vagina on your forehead or a row of penises down your back, like a Stegosaurus?
  • Are they... fully functional? Urinating as a stegopenus would be messy but bleeding from my face monthly would be worse. The risk of getting pregnant and having my brain displaced by a growing fetus sounds horrifying. So if they're wired up to the related anatomy I'll go with dick. If it's just the singular organ I'll go with vagina and get really into head coverings

  • WYR: have an itch you couldn't get rid of for the rest of your life, or the hiccups for the rest of your life? Neither deteriorate your health, they're just annoying.
  • I'd go with the itch. In the 1 out of 1 cases I know of where someone had chronic hiccups, they ended up going to jail for murder.

  • WYR receive $100,000 immediately in cash or $1.5 per every diamond you mine in vanila hardcore minecraft?
  • I'd go with the former. The latter is literally just a job. An extremely repetitive and pointless job. And from what I can tell from spawn probabilities after considering the time you'd need to spend playing the game enough to keep mining, we're only talking 3 or 4 diamond ore blocks per hour max so like 100k annually as a full time job. You could do it as a part time side gig but by the time you hit the 100k from choice 1 you'd be chasing the compound interest.

    Edit: oh it says $1.5 not $15. Make that hell no then

  • Pride unit rule


    I wish my body to be in peak human shape no matter what I do


    I wish my deck to be freshly cleaned and the fence painted


    What's the reason for high refresh rates?

    I was reading an article on the new LG display with a refresh rate of 7680Hz and it says:

    > While a typical refresh rate for a monitor might be 60Hz-240Hz, an outdoor display designed to be viewed from a distance needs to be much higher

    The idea that there's an intrinsic link between refresh rate and viewing distance is new to me and feels unintuitive. I can understand the need for high brighteness for far view distance. I also could understand refresh rate mattering for a non-persistent (CRT) display. But for an Led display surely you can see it far away even if it refreshes once a second?

    Refresh rate normally needs to be high enough to avoid pixels "jumping" between refreshes on high resolution displays, so wouldn't higher view distances allow you to decrease the refresh rate?

    Is the article just spouting bullshit? Or is there an actual link between refresh rate and view distance?


    SLPT: in a rush after a snowstorm? Skip brushing your car off by simply driving fast! The air will brush your car off for you.

    This can also save you shoveling/plowing your driveway, simply drive over the accumulated snow at high speed. Make sure to avoid getting stuck however.


    Who is a fictional character you most identified with?

    From TV, movie, book, fanfic, audio drama, cuneiform tablet, or whatever.


    SLPT: Stage a horrific death scene caused by a conventional household appliance. This will enable you to sue the manufacturers for millions of dollars for causing your death!


    SLPT: Experience world travel without needing to get off your couch by buying travel miles from your favorite airline!

    It only takes 25k miles to circumnavigate the world. No passport required!


    SLPT: Striking out on tinder? Use AI to make you look attractive and give you the profile of someone with an actual personality.

    Before your first date go to an MMA dojo and insult anyone walking out so you have a cover for why you aren't like your profile.


    SLPT It's Friday! Remember to Fry your enemies today!


    <SLPT> You can know which side of the gas pump to use by looking at the side of your car




    SLPT: Win your next boxing match by slathering your gloves in raw eggs and chicken so your opponent will get salmonella and have to surrender the fight.


    SLPT: Remember to do that thing before it's too late!

    Don't forget!


    SLPT: Sign up to Threads for all the hot new tips on knitting and crochet!

    Truth or Dare key

    Dare: Pretend to be a pirate suffering from scurvy until the next time you see a lemon (limes do not count)


    SLPT Unable to buy the fun fireworks in your state? Make your own by attaching a cardboard tube full of glitter, minerals, and gunpowder to a model rocket.


    SLPT Mortgage too expensive? Build an ugly wall around your house. Then charge your neighbors rent for the right to look at your house. The more they pay, the more fence you remove!