Not my intent to question the efficacy of medication, for sure. Just engaging with the reality that many people are medicating against factors that aren't caused by brain chemistry.
I know I should go to therapy but then I feel bad burdening a therapist with things like, "I'm so angry that the only thing that helps me sleep is imagining the entire current administration getting hit by a very localized meteor," because like, this shit is too big and we all have our coping mechanisms, right? At least mine isn't substance abuse or self harm.
My sister is trans and getting all of her forms of ID because she's 18 (and needs a job), and we lost it in a move across the country. I have to be there along with two other people to prove she's a person. She just wants to exist like anyone else, and people are shitting on her because she's a girl. I want to strangle the world.
OMG yes, I soooo wish I could, but my brain needs input! Not knowing does not compute. I originally had the plan to block all the news/political communities as soon as I knew the election outcome, but not knowing what is coming feels worse than the emotional weight of knowing good people are being hurt as a distraction by some shit heads so that they can rob us for all we have (as a country).
I see a therapist who mostly specializes in trans and queer clients (and is non-binary themselves). This last session was a worry fest of my anxieties and them going "honestly? Same" so it was validating, but I'm not sure how much therapizing we got in, lol. Not to say they don't do a good job, just like, there's only so much y'all can say or do right now.
And we're not even American so I cannot imagine. Hang in there.
Been in therapy quite a bit for most of the last 8 years. I just canceled my future appointments because I'm actually doing OK at the moment, but I've seen the toll the last few months have taken on my therapist (since the election) despite her best efforts to hide it. I feel terrible for these wonderful people that help shoulder the burdens of others. They are the shock troops bearing the brunt of defense in the current culture war.
My wife is a mental health therapist. It is a very high turnover job due to the emotional toll it takes on them. For the good therapists it's not something they can do indefinitely. It's also not as high paying as many seem to think. The majority of the money goes to insurance and then insurance a lot of times strings them along and it can take months sometimes to actually get money from insurance.
Thank her for me. I don't know how they do it. I talked to my therapist about my fear of causing her emotional distress working with me through my issues, and she assured me that where she is, they have plenty of resources to get their own help when they need it. But that doesn't mean it isn't hard as hell on them.
As a person long overdue to get some mental help. I've been really motivated to get myself better since early last year. Had some events happen where I was like, yeah I need to handle my shit.
I'll say the process so far is my biggest hurdle. Took ages to get a referral, once I got the referral took ages to get seen. When I finally was seen it was the wrong fit. Now I'm waiting until next week to start again and push for different referrals, all so my insurance covers some of it (maybe).
Meanwhile I'm doing the best I can, but certainly think about just throwing in the towel and drowning myself in drugs again. Which worked a long time until it really really didn't work. But the thought of finally getting my foot in the door to spend months and thousands trying to even find a root cause just feels utterly pointless. Also now raw dogging life without anything to dull it but some doctor prescribed sleeping pills is challenging to say the least.
Still the worst part is explaining the laundry list of my past trauma to strangers just to get them up to speed. Hopefully to help pinpoint where I need to focus my efforts on getting better. Last fellow just had to say "well you made it this far and seem to be doing better than most of my patients". Essentially call me back when you have a full blown meltdown, because I only deal with extremes. That shit was deflating, sorry for being proactive and trying to get help before I get committed somewhere?
I've spent a really long time keeping my issues in check, I've become very good at what to say or not say that is bouncing around my skull. Now that I can't do it anymore it seems to throw a lot of people for a loop.
Anyhow feels like some sort of shitty race to see if my mind breaks first or I get help before that happens. Than when I do get to the right step 1 there will be this slow trial and error I need to go through. Which I completely understand is necessary, but it's not giving me much hope.
That person on fire is probably like that because the healthcare system just kept dosing it with gasoline before they stepped foot in the office.
Idk if it will make you feel any better, but you're not alone. I have a few people in my life who struggle the same as you are, and it emotionally fucks with me. As someone who is somewhat put together myself, to see these people I care about genuinely try to get help and do the right thing to get better - all to be mistreated and counted as another number hurts so bad. I can see it in their tear soaked eyes, and I can hear it in their cries and desperate pleas for help that they feel so helpless and feel like nothing is working no matter how hard they try. I try to listen, to comfort, and to maybe give advice and motivation to keep trying, but it's all so hard.
The mental health care system in the u.s. is abysmal, it's gut-wrenchingly bad. It fails people every day. Every day people relapse because they feel like it's the only way to cope with whatever it is they're dealing with. I wish I could help more people, I wish I could help you all.
I'm sorry you are going through that. If you're unaware psychologytoday.com is a great resource. They let you search based on insurance, specialties, in person/virtual, any preferences one might have,
and the professionals also might include info about them maybe even a video.
I hope you get the help you have been fighting for soon.
I made the mistake the first time by just taking my family doctor's opinion because I'm newer to the area and have no idea where to start. He sent me to the group who had asshole #1 and I found out afterwards that guy had a lot negative reviews for the same issues I had. The group was ok, but he was the worst and I got placed with him because everyone else was full. I was ignorant and was just desperate to get "somewhere". Boy was that a mistake.
Bigger problem I'm finding is there is a very small list for my area. Once I popped in the filter for non-secular it gets barren. I live in a very religious area, I'm not anti-religion. But I am an atheist that doesn't want to go to someone who tells me to confide in God to heal myself. Been to one of those before, just doesn't work.
Just started with a therapist after a decade or two of mistrust in them, and yeah, getting them up to speed on all your past and trauma is time consuming, especially when you only get an hour a week to walk through your life story and try to get techniques that help you feel less like shit.
i have a referral on the table to begin sessions with a new therapist and have been putting off making the appointment because of the tedium of "getting it all out there" only to find out months from now that (for whatever reason) it was a wasted effort.
i honestly don't know what progress would look like. does it make sense for me to get my expectations in order before making the appointment?... or should i just jump in?
I feel like this the blind leading the blind. But I settled on trying to push for a psych evaluation instead of jumping into sessions. I've also been journaling my mental state and sleep daily, so I can be prepared this time. Roughest thing I did was physically writing out my past trauma/history, but figured I'd have that on hand too so I had a checklist of things I can remember to talk about. Maybe disconnect it when I talk about it.
Figure with all that at least I can get a baseline opinion out of it and if I don't like the person this time I have some actionable items I can plug in for people that specialize in what might crop up.
My issues though are not clear so I'm just struggling to find the right path. I hope you keep at it, just as much as I do.
In my experience therapy is something my therapist and I do together. My therapist isn't giving me water. The two of us together are finding water that was always there.
A therapist is not here to help you, they are here to help you help yourself. You cannot expect someone who you see once a week to fix your life, only you can do that.
Therapy is essentially gaslighting. They are not here to help you (of course, because they are charlatans and not real doctors), they are here to make you believe everything is fine. If you ignore a problem, it's no longer a problem!
Looks like you need a psychologist to put out the fire then go to the therapist to tame any random flare ups.
I went for years of therapy and they would take the dropper and miss me completely. I don't know what the fuck I did but this angel dropped out of heaven claiming to be part of my benefits and started checking in on me every week to help orginize my healthcare needs. She got me in therapy, then got me to a psychologist. The psychologist was able to treat me within a few sessions and everything got easier.
I honestly could never get the therapist part to work, I don't really need someone to give me advise. I need someone to make me feel sane and stand me back up. I haven't found that yet.
As for the angel, she found a new job, passed me off, and the new guy wasn't as concerned with me.
I don't know, really it was the work of that random benefits person that saved me. It's so overwhelming to have suicidal idealation and constant anxiety/panic attacks and then have to deal with a broken healthcare system. What ever that fuckkng service was I cannot praise it enough.
That is so awesome. I love that you called her an angel because that's what these people are. She might not even know how much of a difference she made for you, she was just doing the right thing because it was the right thing.
Had to look it up, name of the program was On Trak Health. Can't vouch for this ai stuff they are advertising now but like I said first care coach saved me and second one was meh. The second one was probably fine but I had been spoiled.
Psychologist and therapists have very little overlap. Some therapist can diagnos and prescribed but that's all psychiatrist do. I'm no expert though, so you'd be better off asking the google.
hi, i have problems in the most complicated organ in all of existence that I have accumulated for my entire life, complicating it every day for the past 20 years. I'd like you to press the off switch for it please.
I don't think ill of therapists, but the fact so many issues come down to money doesn't endear me to the idea of therapy needing to take another chunk of it for dubious gains until you find the right therapist for you, and possibly even after that. Again, blame the system, not people, but hearing folks tell me I must pay people to fix me as the system grinds onward is tiring.
Not sure what you were expecting, here. I support universal healthcare, and mental health is part of everyone's health. Still paying if I want any, though, and that's not changing anytime soon. Sucks to suck, severely sucks for suckers scoring less than me on the income lottery.
How many of them have to swim through kerosene uphill both ways to clock their time at the kerosene factory so they can afford to have a little food and a kerosene-soaked roof over their heads?
Maybe everyone being anxious and depressed is healthy in a dying world.
I tried doing therapy for a while, just to realize everything that stresses me out are totally valid stressors and the solution isn't to go to therapy but to change our economic system.
im so sick of this attitude. human history -- no, the history of LIFE -- has always been on the brink of destruction. the universe is cold, harsh, and awful. the challenge has ALWAYS been to find a way to live a meaningful life with the time you have here. i'm so sick of attitudes like this exploiting the fact that this isnt a utopia to excuse themselves from making positive changes in their own lives.
how the fuck are we going to create a society that isn't soul crushing anyway?! is the first step to shit on all the therapists? systemic, societal issues are real barriers in our lives, but they are just BARRIERS. they make the job HARDER but not impossible. how do you think modern existential therapy came out of fucking AUSCHWITZ of all places? do you think they had it peachy?? was Frankl just scamming them?
the current president won the hearts of these magats by selling them the exact same fucking story you're memeing about. "your misery is society's fault" and then points the finger at a specific demographic. and these idiots eat that shit up. they never learned how to find meaning in their own lives so they turn to some charlatan who sells them a fantasy. do you really think Trump would have gotten elected if the populace were happy, healthy, and afraid of nothing?? do you really think Trump would have won if the magats went to therapy? THIS is the problem. THIS is why we're in this mess.
i swear i just find this so absolutely disgusting, so insulting, to say that mental health is just "pills that trick your brain into thinking you dont hate it here". this nonsense has NO place in a MH affirming community. go back to 4chan
I don't know about healthy, but yeah it's a totally reasonable reaction to what's going on around us to feel despair, if you have any shred of empathy in your body. Therapy does keep me mostly sane from month to month but at this point I'm putting it on hold. I truly believe we're going to be at war (real war, not culture war) with each other in the US within 5-10 years, so might have to start shifting the therapy money to physical fitness expenses, gear, and ammo. And I intend to start training like-minded people how to 'protect themselves' from the aggressors.
the solution isn’t to go to therapy but to change our economic system.
how's that working out for you? the economic system hasn't changed and you're still miserable, right? what if you had more capacity to fight by effectively managing your stressors? wouldn't that be preferable? or is change just too difficult and this is an easier story to tell yourself? my god this MH community is getting my blood boiling as bad as r/conservative.
Maybe everyone being anxious and depressed is healthy in a dying world.
Nope, humans are normally very emotionally resilient, so all spikes in mood end within 3-4 months at worst. So persistent depressed mood is to be worked on
Anxiety is not the same as being stressed out about some stuff in life. Anxiety is catastrophizing very little problems (like thinking "they hate me" when someone replied 2 minutes late) until you are worn out and the day is ruined
Nope, humans are normally very emotionally resilient, so all spikes in mood end within 3-4 months at worst.
I'm picturing someone giving this speech at Auschwitz.
It can actually get bad enough that constant despair is the completely normal reaction to your circumstances. And in case you haven't noticed we're building concentration camps RIGHT NOW. They just aren't installing ovens. Yet.
I don't know man. Humans have lived through some pretty harrowing stuff in the past, but I'm pretty sure this is the first period in history where humans know they're teetering on the edge - hell, multiple edges - and not in a metaphysical way, but in a very real, tangible fashion that is essentially visible from day to day and getting worse all the time.
Realizing all of this while also struggling for your own survival seems like more than whatever our minds are meant to be able to cope with. I'm of the opinion that 'depression' in its myriad forms is a totally valid reaction to a dying, hostile world in which the future seems uncertain at best and positively dystopian at worst.
It just hit me, I think it may be more appropriate to think about (actually helpful) therapy as placing those drops of water into a bucket, and there are times when that accumulated water doubles itself (breakthroughs, realisations, etc.) More like an investment of sorts.
At least, that's how it felt as I went through it. It never had a regular progression, it was always about leaps and bounds, then falling on my ass again for a couple of weeks, then snapping out of it when something I'd discussed 6 sessions ago finally clicked into place.
This is definitely true in “regular” times. Meaning when my country is not on political fire. Lately most conversations with marginalized clients revolve around “what do I to stay safe?” and “how the hell can I leave the country?” It’s very sad.
I have heard that schools in my area have begun the process of making "code red" plans if ICE or someone shows up to schools looking for students/parents. It is being done by small groups and no details shared outside of the people they are contacting to share the plan with. It's all scary as hell and I HATE that it's even a thing. =(
Edit also thank you for helping those adrift right now!
Heck, my favourite therapist (a very, very empathetic and honest person) retired from psychotherapy before hitting 30 during the Pandemic because they couldn't take the influx of destabilised people. I can't even imagine how much more horrible and immediate the situation in the States is right now...
Sincerely wish you and your clients as much peace and safety as humanly possible in these conditions!
Sometimes it's a never-win, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't go if you need it and are able to afford it.
There's no therapist on the planet that can help me 'fix' myself completely, far too many decades of trauma and paying attention to what's going on around me, but they do help me maintain and cope. Worth it.
The financial gatekeeping of basic necessities is a big reason why many of us are in the position to need therapy in the first place. I wouldn't trade my therapist for the world but the fact that there's even a qualifier really speaks to the whole systemic vs individual debate.
You’re absolutely right—therapy often feels like putting a drop of water on a raging fire. As mental health professionals and advocates, we find ourselves treating individual symptoms while the systemic causes of suffering—economic exploitation, discrimination, state violence—continue unchecked. But what if therapy itself could be reimagined as a tool of collective resistance and liberation rather than just individual adaptation?
The Limits of Individual Therapy in a Dying System
Traditional therapy, rooted in Western individualism, focuses on personal pathology rather than the oppressive structures that create distress in the first place. It helps people survive, but rarely challenges the conditions that make survival so difficult. As fascistic policies escalate—targeting marginalized communities, undermining democracy, and deepening economic inequality—our role cannot simply be to help people “cope” with injustice. Coping is not enough.
Therapy should not just help individuals endure oppressive systems; it should equip them to dismantle and replace those systems. We need a revolution in mental health—one that shifts from isolated, clinical solutions to community-based, justice-oriented healing.
A New Vision: Therapy as Collective Resistance
1. Worker Cooperative Mental Health Practices – Breaking away from profit-driven therapy models and creating mental health collectives that serve communities rather than corporations or insurance companies.
2. Radical Group Therapy & Mutual Aid – Encouraging healing circles, community networks, and activist spaces that treat mental health as a shared struggle, not an isolated condition.
3. Politicizing Therapy – Acknowledging that capitalism, racism, and state oppression are core mental health issues and helping people engage in direct action as a form of healing.
4. Revolutionary Care Networks – Moving beyond institutions and creating autonomous, grassroots mental health support systems that are independent of the state and its oppressive mechanisms.
Collective Action is Therapy
The mental health crisis is not just personal; it is structural. And the only real cure is collective liberation. Healing doesn’t happen in isolation—it happens in the streets, in mutual aid networks, in resistance movements. Therapy must evolve to be part of that fight, not just a salve for its wounds.
We don’t just need better mental healthcare. We need a revolution in how we understand and practice healing.
I'm reminded of the scene in Office Space where Peter goes to his therapist to "transfer" his negative energy, and the therapist has a heart attack on the spot.
Good therapy should hand you the bottle and tell you not to dump it on all at once but to start dripping it on and check in for refills with the refill being a bit larger each time.