Littering.
When someone carelessly throws their trash on the ground, that says a huge amount about their respect for other people, their feelings about the environment, and even their views on social equality.
It's a tiny thing, but an immediate dealbreaker.
People who throw their trash on the ground are the same people who yell and get mad at minimum-wage staff, while those staff hold back tears. They are the people who take more food at a buffet restaurant than they could ever even eat. They are the people who think the world and everyone in it owes them whatever they want, but without ever giving anything back.
I bet we all know a person whose car looks like a scary biohazard of old drive-through cups they haven't cleaned yet, but I'd much rather date that person than someone who throws it all out the window.
I think whether or not they litter and whether or not they return the shopping cart are two good ways to judge someone's character.
For me its probably someone who uses tiktok.
During my last relationship my ex started using tiktok and for the few weeks she used it i had to listen to the dumbest "facts" as well as borderline malicious relationship and life advice. The bad misinformation is nothing compared to the repetitive nature of the music. She stopped using it on her own accord I didn't force anything.
I still live with someone who is a heavy tik tok user and almost every time she says "i saw this tiktok.. " I know I'm about to hear some dumb bullshit.
The app manipulates people, wastes their time and is full of undeclared product advertising. For my sanity I cannot date someone who thinks it's OK to use that app.
My partner totally asks me questions she hears from TikTok trends. Man vs bear, etc.
There's some funny questions for sure. I laughed when I got asked the Rome question and I said probably every day.
I don't use tiktok, but some people have unusually based tiktok feeds. They can get direct footage from the genocide happening in Gaza, for example. I never get that recommended on YouTube, despite my very obvious socialist leanings, watching pro-Palestine content, etc.
This is the actual reason tiktok is being banned (if they don't sell) after the election. One of the largest lobbying groups in America, AIPAC, in probably the most well-funded policy categories (pro-Israel policies) backs most of Congress. They've determined tiktok has far too much influence on American youth, and has made the Israel/Palestine divide a young/old divide more-so than a left/right divide.
There's already a strong correlation between political leaning and age, which is problematic for the future of the fascist movement in America, but this issue falls outside the norm. You'll find a lot of young conservatives calling for an end to the needless killing of civilians. They won't call it a genocide because admitting Israel is a genocidal apartheid state is too far for them, but they can at least admit killing tens of thousands of children is not the right path here.
That kind of extremism (e.g not greenlighting any amount of culling of "human animals" Israel feels it needs to do) is unacceptable to the pro-Israel lobby, and they're not used to getting this kind of pushback from the American public.
everybody's feed is an echo chamber. each person has access to something like 1% of the total videos posted, so two feeds will be unrecognizable. all the videos I get are about how to help Palestinian families, or short history documentaries, or a published linguist talking about interesting words, this guy who collects license plates (I don't care about license plates but his channel is great), this guy who collects stamps and helps people evaluate the sets that they find in grandad's closet (I don't give a shit about stamps but the history that he talks about alongside them is great). the Green Brothers, if you're still into them. plus all the major news outlets are on there, as well as quite a few politicians. woodworkers, clay artists, stonemasons, glass blowers, all showing their art daily
I've been blocking anybody who does undeclared advertising for like a year, and they just don't show me that shit anymore
Smoking.
Not at all trivial!
For some it is. Sadly
Cigarettes
I just can’t do it. They’re trashy and they smell terrible. Almost universally friends/partners I’ve had the smoke cigarettes ash wherever they want- like my patio or door step. I had an ex that would chain smoke, ash in front of the door, then put the cigarette out and leave it on the steps.
So now everyone that walks by sees our entryway covered in ash, cigarette butts, and burn marks. Just looks and smells like shit.
That same partner kept an ash tray in the patio. It filled up with water when it rained, and she just… left it. So now the patio smells like soppy wet shit too.
Ever since then cigs are a deal breaker for me. If you don’t respect your body how can you ever respect your environment or relationship?
Anyway.
Massive red flag about multiple issues from hygiene to risk-taking to basic scientific literacy to propensity for addictive behavior. The list goes on and on.
100%. I get headaches really easily with the smell of cigarette smoke. Absolute no go from me.
10000000%
Uses spaces instead of tabs.
As someone who has primarily used spaces, I still use the tab key. I sincerely hope most space users understand that your editor can expand your tab key into spaces, and people aren't genuinely going around spamming their spacebar 2->16 times for various indentation levels.
Spaces are kinda better, because tabs are not consistent across editors/platforms. Just please use the tab key to indent, don't press the spacebar x times like a monkey
I prefer tabs because they aren't consistent
I personally find 2-space indented code harder to read than 4-space. If I'm working on someone else's codebase which is indented with 2-spaces then I have to cope. But if it's tab-indented then I can just edit the setting in my editor to display a tab char as 4 whitespace chars
Uses tabs instead of spaces.
But once they go through the compiler they're essentially the same!
// think people missed the reference
I'm using both a the same time, one tab, two space, another tab....
This way everyone is happy.
You're a maniac- in the best way possible.
Drinks Tab in Space.
who does this?
I couldn't date a cop
That's just a safety tip
Just the tip.
My sister in law is a cop when she's not moonlighting as EMT or Fire. Met my wife Through her as the mutual friend. Her whole family is great.
I just don't know where this toxic generalization comes from.
Do you actually not know where the generalization comes from, or do you just not like it?
Probably just salty about the tear gas. Maybe they just can’t get over being beaten to near hospitalization with a bicycle for protesting peacefully.
What you want to do is hit back, and read a few headlines. I guarantee you'll figure it out. I have faith in you.
Celebrity/billionaire worship. Just no. It means their values are wildly erratic.
Mixes spaces and tabs in the same line
That's not a trivial thing, that's a war crime
So really any tab user in any language requiring alignment then?
Some programs aren’t sophisticated enough and require this to make satisfactory alignments.
I have an ex with the same name as one of my sisters. You do that once, and it gets confusing and awkward. Twice? People start coming to really odd conclusions.
My brother's last three serious relationships all have hadthe same name. It's not his fault that name was popular 3 years after he was born. The girls are nothing alike.
That said it's a struggle not to call the current one New "Sarah"
Kinda sucks, because I occasionally come across really women I would otherwise pursue for a relationship. But then they have the same name as my sister or my mom - NOPE.
Tammy One
Tammy Two
Tamara
What's wrong with names? What if it's a different name but the looks are exactly the same?
Red neck approves
If they smoke
My buddy said this for years ... until he found an exception. Oh, was she gorgeous and kind and just a joy to be around when she wasn't smoking. The universe has a sense of humour, and it's mean.
Your buddy: I can... fix...her...
Narrator: he started smoking 2 days later.
Incapacity to discuss random topics just for the fun of it. Taking herself too seriously.
I married an Irish/Scottish girl. I should have seen the gorgeous red hair and green eyes and run for the hills, but no.
She'll debate anything, any time, anywhere. Trump during a commercial? Sure. Abortion over a muffin? Totally. Raisins (scourge or sweet snack?) in an airline security line? All day.
Find yourself a good scot and you'll converse until you die. Violently.
Red hair green eyes and conversable ? You might have unlocked something in me.
Talking abortion over muffin is unironically the most hilarious idea I've read today.
She said "lol"
Like actually said "lol". As if it was a word.
Didn't laugh. Like, she replaced her laughing with this, saying "lol" when she found something funny.
I say lol occasionally, only for things that are dumb funny. Equivalent of a snort I guess?
"Hey did you hear Steve bought a jet ski? Where does he think he's going to use it? The local pool?"
"Really? Lol. What a dumbarse"
Like that. If shit is actually funny I laugh like a human.
Lol
Lol, or el-o-el?
Horniness mismatch. You'll never synch up exactly, but if you aren't at least in the same ballpark, everyone just comes away frustrated.
that's not trivial that's really important
That's what polamory is for! I would hate to miss out on an emotionally meaningful relationship just because pp goes hard to often or pp not go hard often enough.
My home theater. I love movies and if someone said I couldn’t have it hooked up to the main TV I’d walk. I’d rather date someone who either enjoys it or at least it’s neutral on having there.
Also I don’t care if they have a garden. But it will be classified as a hobby, not as yard work or house work when they work in it. Because I’ll never work in one.
If it's something you want and your partner doesn't care one way or the other about, it shouldn't factor in.
If you want to make the candles you use around the house, maybe they smell nice, maybe they get used, maybe they're cheaper than store-bought, but that's a hobby.
If you do a bunch of baking, especially for people outside the home but even inside it, and your partner isn't all about you cooking, that's a hobby, and you clean up your own mess. That's not chores (unless you're getting paid).
Chores are necessities to keep the communal house going, not anything that takes effort.
I agree with the basic maintenance thing being a chore, but I understand where OP is coming from. So if one person out of the pair decides with previous warning that they want to plant a bunch of stuff then it's their responsability to take care of them.
In my situation for example, I live with my partner in an apartment, and the vases are his to maintain and take care of. We've talked about where we would live next and my parter wants a yard and I don't. So I've forewarned him that if we have a yard in a future house it belongs to him, and any decisions to move to a house with a yard come with that agreement. This is all very different situation to living in a house with a yard already, or not having the choice when moving for some reason.
Exactly. I fully agree
I don't expect help in the garden on an everyday basis, no way. I do what I want with it, don't take requests, so it's mine and my responsibility. But since everyone gets food out of it, they do help occasionally with bigger things; carrying dirt from front driveway to garden, building planters.
Home theater, who cares? Wouldn't everyone put that on the biggest TV? We have only one TV but if there were two of course the bigger one would make the most sense.
Oh, on that - TV in the bedroom is a no for me, too. Doesn't matter for casual, but if I am living somewhere I never want a TV in the bedroom. Music speaker yes, that's fine. TV no way. Thankfully we've had space outside of bedroom for gaming and TV and computer, that is very important to me.
Incompatible taste in music. My taste is the benchmark they have to meet and I will not compromise, obviously.
this is why i like to date people who don't care about music.
Music is incredibly important to me, and the music tastes of me and my girlfriend could not be much more incompatible. We have a great relationship though, it can be a strength: we challenge each other to broaden our horizons. But it does lead to suboptimal car rides haha
Picky eater or stuck on music from their youth.
Someone else mentioned libido mismatch, I don't consider that trivial.
I will say on the picky eating habit, that can be a common behavior seen in autistic folks. With me my picky eating stems from texture - if a food feels weird in my mouth I get nasty gag reflex or vomit. Doesn't matter how often I try, there's foods and ingredients that, if I chew on it, I will vomit. It fucking sucks. I have to swallow my edibles whole with water cause most gummies make me vomit if I chew them.
Obviously not all picky eating habits are autism related, but myself and the other autistic picky eaters I know are just as frustrated, if not more, about having those habits.
Being stuck on music though, that I can understand. Even with me having my comfort zones, it's always an occasion worth celebrating when I find an artist or album that absolutely SLAPS me silly from how rad it is.
This makes sense but would be such a mismatch with me. Also I think kids who do not get early exposure to flavors and textures can also develop into picky adults. It's not a judgement exactly, but a hard no nonetheless.
I am opposite and enjoy novel textures and smells and flavors, enjoy cooking and eating (and cocktails!). It's nice to share that with people. Obviously nobody likes EVERYTHING, I sure don't, but just having that open mind about flavors is important to me.
Music, same - I just enjoy it so much, finding new songs, going to concerts. It's not that I don't like old - we went to see Foo Fighters, lol, and just recently Thievery Corporation, but the list of what I like has expanded so much since I was young till now. My husband listens most to basically dad rock but will come out to see new bands and quite often is so impressed and loves the music and performance, and he will hear stuff me or the kids are playing, ask about it and add it to his playlist. His mind is not closed.
It's surprising how being stuck on music from your youth is common. While I do listen to new bands, I was reminded the other day that Futures by Jimmy Eat World is almost twenty years old.
music from their youth
You mean Sesame Street or Nickelback? What kind of 'youth'? What if it's Nirvana or the stones?
If it's the SpongeBob squarepants theme then it's ok. In fact that's a bonus.
Pointy shoes with high heels.
They destroy your feet, make walking long distances impossible and show me she values unhealthy beauty standards over her own body.
Also, shaved and re-drawn eyebrows, for similar reasons.
Guys, I don't necessarily agree with what OP said (I didn't downvote him, though), but why are you downvoting him for freaking answering the question?!! The question says "a trivial thing," (not "a reasonable thing") and OP answered with a trivial thing. Vote accordingly.
This is like downvoting unpopular opinions in a thread about unpopular opinions.
The shoes I get but what’s unhealthy about shaving and redrawing eyebrows? Just curious, if you just don’t like that then that’s valid ofc.
Eyebrows keep the sweat out of your eyes during sports. I want to live an active outdoor life with my partner, if she shaved her brows off chances are she isn't into that.
At least to the people around me, frequent substance us.
I would argue that doesn't qualify as trivial.
What my friends would say to me is "who cares if they do a bit of weed (understatement), or get drunk once or twice a month?"
Personally, if you need substances to have fun, you're boring.
How do you feel about caffeine?
No passions or hobbies.
No, traveling isn't a hobby.
I get that but why is traveling not a hobby?
It's just blowing money to go exist in other places. Some people do it to simply avoid boredom. I'd argue it could be a hobby if they are putting effort into learning or collecting things or something.
Traveling and just being there is not a hobby. Traveling to, for example, visit certain types of sites or museums, maybe build a collection of photos or memorabilia, could be considered a hobby.
Fake nails. I have nothing against people who wear them, but for some reason it just instantly makes me think we are not compatible at all.
Is bad breath trivial? True story.
No
Nah. It's a health thing, a hygiene thing, and a lack of social awareness. Nothing trivial about it
Being unnecessarily wasteful with food. Not even attempting to save it or tossing all away over some easily resolvable issue like "I'm not hungry right now" Throws in trash.
If they aren't vegan.
Or, hear me out: if they are
Yeah fuck people who are against animal abuse and actually live out their principles.
Like you could at least say "preachy vegans". This is still problematic, because it ignores that everyone is preachy about issues they understand are immoral (we're all preachy anti-racists, anti-rapists, etc.)
But just saying "vegan" is wild.
wearing makeup or earrings
turns out i just don't like that
Uses spaces instead of tabs.
Username checks out
Motor mouth
