I know it sounds like common sense, but I think a lot of us grew up with parents that made us finish our food even if we weren’t hungry. So eating more than we needed was normalized, and it became difficult to just stop mid meal.
Growing up with not much also conditioned you to eat everything on the off chance you can get a full meal. This has been a point of contention with my SO several times. They came from a well off family and they have no problem not finishing their food or not using some ingredients in the fridge whereas I've been conditioned to finish all meals no matter what and to be able to use up everything (not letting stuff expire) stored in the fridge.
Strong "you can't let good food go to waste" in the post-war generation, including in my own family. It's so ingrained even in the next generations that many of us will just "finish their plate" even though there's no necessity there. Some of us are quite well off now, but attitudes around food haven't changed. You have to finish your plate. You can't let good food go to waste. People elsewhere are starving. People worked hard so you could have this food. You don't know when you'll be able to have a nice meal like this again.
Like you, I realized the difference when I met people from different, well off, culturally food-secure backgrounds. They'd just stop eating, and throw the uneaten leftovers in the trash. Doesn't matter how good the food was. Doesn't matter how expensive the food was. Doesn't matter that you could eat the leftovers later.
I had a really hard time landing on some reasonable middle ground (you can save leftovers, but you're allowed to stop eating when you're full, etc.). Made me realize that it's so much more cultural than personal. Also raises questions about what we're going to pass down to the next generations, intentionally or not.
I was abused as a kid and while it stopped when I was 9 cause my grandmother got custody of me I still eat as much as I have. Im 23 that shit can get in deep.
Yeah, seems obvious but when your entire childhood is filled with shame because "there are starving kids in Africa so finish your plate", it's not so simple. Or when you realize that eating is the basically the only joy you have in life, it's not so simple. Or when you have to take medications for your mental health and the side effects are that you over eat, it's not so simple. Or when you have no time to exercise bc both you and your wife have to work to afford anything in this stupid economy, it's not so simple.
Simple doesn't mean easy. Running a marathon is simple, you just keep running until you get there. Yet the majority can't do it.
For each of the scenarios you presented, there is a simple solution:
- "there are starving kids in Africa so finish your plate" - put less food on your plate
- eating is the basically the only joy you have - expand your hobbies to find meaning elsewhere
- medication... side effects - count calories
- no time to exercise bc both you and your wife have to work - make exercise part of your commute
Each of those are simple solutions, but they aren't easy to implement. I get it, I don't do the above nearly as much as I should; I know what I should do, but actually doing them is another story.
Keep it up, you can do it. :)
My parents stopped with that line (but Siberia for some reason) when I asked them to mail it to those kids so it doesn’t go to waste then.
Still took me to around 10 years old I think.
Also if everyone around you is eating disordered in the same way, you might never figure it out because you have no contrast (like OP).
Also shift work messes up your eating too. So, so many ways for it to go wrong.
It is fucking simple.
If this is insurmountable you are a lost cause unless you go get therapy.
Figure out how to not impress this attitude on your children. If you can't, don't have children.
Simple.
hey man, people have struggles. just because you don't have those struggles, and i don't have those struggles, doesn't mean they're not valid struggles for the people who do have them. a bit of understanding can go a long way. or as one of my favorite musicians once said, "a little goddamn compassion never hurt a motherfucker."
and regardless of my personal opinion on having kids, i don't see what it has to do with this conversation.
You eat for hunger/appetite
I eat for dopamine
We are not the sameTime to find such dopamine from other activities. Food is fuel, nothing more, nothing less.
Easy to say but very hard to do when you don't enjoy doing anything, even things you used to love.
Quantity of food: weight. Quality of food: health. Remember you can still get diabetes being slim. Also I guess health can be quantity if you become morbidly obese.
Don't stop when you're full. Stop when you no longer feel hungry.
I like this a lot. The stopping when full thing has helped, but your recommendation seems better. It may require a higher level of mindfulness and self control, but so be it.
For me it requires self control to eat.
I have ADHD and can't remember shit. Regularly forget to eat, hate making food, eating is usually a chore I seek to finish quickly so I can get back to doing other things.
Kept me very skinny so far at 30 years old!
Fat people hate this one simple trick.
Well also being young and probably somewhat active.
But it's a great habit to develop so you don't put on a pound every year like the western world tends to do.
One thing that helped me tremendously since I'm a cheapskate is the realization that:
" wait, you're telling me I will stay healthy AND save money by eating leftovers every other day!? Sold!"
It's actually quite scary the amount of money one can save when they buy and eat food to stay healthy instead of using it to feel good ( nothing wrong with that, I just don't overindulge in this habit)
yep. I was a rakish youth despite pounding 12 beers and chips wrapped in Naan bread and slathered in curry sauce every Saturday. I didn't have to start watching my weight until my mid 20s.
I used to live in the US and a semi regular meal was a foot long chili dog, double jalapeño cheeseburger, tater tots, onion rings and 44 Oz cherry Dr Pepper from Sonic. I wasn't particularly active, either. Once I hit my mid 20s I had to give that up!
There are definitely high calorie low weight food out there that will make you exceed your calorie count without you feeling full.
That’s when you use your evolved prefrontal cortex and stop eating the fried chicken anyway because you’ve already had three pieces.
It's a depression-era holdover in the US.
I think it's also still somewhat related to what you eat. Over the years fast food has gotten a little less bad for you, with things like trans fat and sodium being targeted. But yeah everyone's grandma telling them to finish their plate all the time, or face punishment, definitely doesn't help. We teach our children to gorge themselves.
I lost 120lbs and have managed to keep it off for almost three years now. I came to the same realization as OP. Problem is I don't have that thing, I can eat so goddamn much before I feel full that calorie counting will probably be a lifelong thing for me. Wish there was a pill or something to help because it's a case of constant self-control.
I guess you just answered a question I had as I can't imagine eating past the point where I am full. It is aphysical discomfort to my body. I feel like I've got a large rock in my gut that takes hours for it to subside. Even thought we are largely the same, we are differemt.
Yeah exactly. It's like I'm more or less numb to the sensation of being full if it's supposed to be a physical thing. I've eaten to the point where it hurts but I really feel like there's nothing in between.
22 year maintainer of a 115 lb loss here. In that time I have come to know my satiety feedback mechanism is broken. Realizing this, and knowing putting my weight back on is unacceptable for reasons of health, the only choice left is to get around the faulty signalling. A lot of sorts of food are off the table for me. I find if I pay close attention to things like glycemic index, caloric density, and generally cooking and eating for satiety, CICO loses some urgency. Though it still bears watching.
Convenience/fast/processed food is generally formulated to circumvent the "fixed stomach problem" and motivate folks to eat way too much. It should be packaged with a warning like cigarettes. Congratulations! And good luck with maintenance. It can be done!
There's some interesting research being done on Semaglutide that supposedly does exactly this. It's showing really good results for obese people and enabling weight loss by reducing appetite.
Try slowing down your eating and consuming some tea or water at the beginning of your meal.
It takes about 15-20 minutes for your brain to register your stomach is actually full.
However, stress eating kind of derails all of this.
Eat more fats, there's an actual satiation response to fat.
Man, I feel like I could have written this at an earlier point in my life. I lost about that much a decade ago with strict calorie counting and kept it off for a while, always trying to ignore what my body felt like it needed and following what the math said I needed. It became so mentally exhausting that I fell off the wagon and gained it all back (plus a bit) over the past few years.
But... My doctor put me on semaglutide a few months ago (ozempic/wegovy) and man... It's like the switch flipped. When I've eaten enough, I just stop eating, no problem. Reasonable portions are actually satisfying and the urge to stuff my face is all but gone. It's like my hunger gauge has been broken all my life and this finally fixed it.
Not saying it's a miracle drug or anything (side effects can be a bit of a bitch), and talk to your doctor etc, but when you said you wish there was a pill...
Honestly this sounds amazing. I've heard of it, I think from Adam Ragusea and it seems like it would really help me finally control my over eating. I'll look into it.
So many people don't want to accept it really is calories in vs calories out. Yes, even if you have PCOS, or whatever the fuck else. If you are somehow a genetic anomaly that does not meet this rule, please donate yourself to science after you die.
Get the Lose it app, scan in what you eat and go for a damn walk. You'll drop.
I really hate CICO being harbored as the solution though. Diet AND EXERCISE are needed. If you do a caloric deficit, your muscles will also atrophy. If you do this multiple times (diet, maintain, diet, maintain), you will continue to have less and less muscle mass and as a result a lower metabolism, which will make it harder and harder to lose fat. So, I still say just eat healthy (whole foods, plenty of fruits and veggies, enough protein) and the calories will take care of themselves. And lift weights.
And that was me thinking you should just continue stuffing your fat face even though you're no longer enjoying the experience.
I'm now starting to think that it's possible that OP's problem is actually more of a neurological one.
Autistic ppl are more likely to have interroception problems
My autistic husband looks completely emaciated. He assures me he eats more than what I see, but yeah- this is a thing.
I've read its also a cultural thing. As in, in China it's considered rude to finish your meal, as that means your host didn't provide enough food. Hence you always leave something left over. Contrary to that, in western cultures, it's considered rude to leave something of your meal, as that means you don't like the food.
I'm Chinese and all my family and branches of relatives all tell us to finish our food and not leave any for waste, we always bag leftovers too.
When I lived in China, my gf always insisted I don't waste any food that we cooked. We're both pretty thin so that could be a struggle at times. But part of the reason for this attitude is because she was raised in a village area without proper refrigeration available so not finishing most cooked foods meant risking illness from food spoiling later.
Well, I could be wrong.
Artificial sweeteners and highly processed foods can shut off your "I'm full" safety valve.
Read the labels on the foods you eat, educate yourself.
Corporations want you to eat to excess, it's profitable.Which artificial sweeteners do that? Sounds interesting
I think it's just sugar. At least I've heard that sweet things can kind of bypass your satiety. Most of us know the feeling of being full, but "having a bit of room for dessert"
The "I'm full" safety valve is also genetic. Some people have stronger ones than others.
IMO it would have a lot to do with parents teaching their children to "finish their meal" even if they're full, you know, as if there's no such thing as refrigeration.
I'm a 100 pound they who's always - always - had trouble eating past the full feeling.
Like to me. Eating 'one more bite' past being full is worse then going to the gym and putting 20 extra pounds on.
Exceptions happen for holidays where we graze all day on many different foods. Variety being the spice of life n all.
But if it's a 3 course meal. I'll eat until I'm full. Pack it away. And eat later.
All you can eat places are completely wasted on me.
Sometimes with North America potions I get meals out of a 20/40$ take out.
Something that stood out to me in the post is the part about "even if they're eating something delicious..." The reason why we stop when we're full is that food stops being delicious when we're full. I'm not sitting around with half a pizza in my gut thinking about how delicious another slice would be, I'm thinking about what a chore it would be to choke down another slice.
That happens to me very quickly with most foods. Even addictive snacks that other people can finish a whole bag of I find tedious to eat more then a hand full of.
A really good dessert that isn't to rich and sugary can manage to get me to eat till I'm regretting.
the funny thing is that chinese food in america is like mcdonalds here for china
Exoticizing women makes 4fat realize eating too much food is related to weight. They're not gonna sheath your katana, get over it.
What specifically about this post triggered your hatred?
The whole point of the post is a snide lol. I'm just joining in the fun.
hey, sometimes you have to put things in a language your audience will understand
Haha ya
An easy way to do it: when at a restaurant eat no more than half of what is in whatever you order.
That's easier in the US. It should cover roughly three or four days' requirements.
My dad's always praised me because I'm the only one in my family who does this naturally. Still, I was always a bit of a chub.
I got down voted to fuck in another thread for saying this lol
The amount of excuses fatties come up with is actually depressing. You don't have to swap every meal for a boring salad, you don't have to run ten miles a day, you don't have to meticulously count every calorie or commit to fad diets etc etc etc.
All you have to do is eat less. It's simple, it's easy. No one gives a fuck that you're busy, or a super taster or that you comfort eat, or that you feel super hungry before bed time. None of that is stopping you from eating just a bit less.
There are a minority of fat people who have significant mental or health issues of which I empathise, but for most, it's a combination of greed and the inability to delay gratification.
You need only two things to achieve and maintain a healthy weight;
- Be honest with yourself
- The will power to not consistently over eat
Edit: and here come the downvotes again lol you know I'm right, it's just that the truth hurts.
I downvote you, as a thin person, because you are an asshole. And this is kinda stupid:
There are a minority of fat people who have significant mental or health issues of which I empathise, but for most, it’s a combination of greed and the inability to delay gratification.
Perhaps think about it more. Or don't comment on other people's bodies.
It may be simple but certainly not easy. Food can become a serious addiction.
Recovered from BED, can confirm
I'd put food addiction under mental health issues which I did say I empathise with, but these are a minority of cases. Not every fat person is food addicted.
It is easy. There's nothing hard about recognising that you're overweight and then looking at the amount of food on your plates and saying "from now on I'll have 20% less than that", then weighing yourself a few months after that to measure your progress and adjusting the amount you eat further if necessary. You do not need a PhD in food science or biology, nor do you need the will power of the most mentally strong human that's ever lived to be able to commit to eating a bit less.
The will power
That is usually the problem that is not easily resolved. If you don't have enough will power, you're screwed.
Absolutely true
Your vitriol hatred tells more about yourself than you want to admit. You should show this comment of yours to a therapist, you might have some issues to work out.
Vitriol hatred? Where have I said that I hate fat people?
I can think that some one is fat and or weak minded without hating them.
I upvoted you because you're absolutely correct and you're getting downvoted by the majority of tubbies who are addicted to sugar, salt and fat and refuse to admit it
Ah, so this is a general 4chan community then
One line was green, it still counts!
"see me after school" - the comments
No this is a Lemmy community where 4chan posts are discussed.
Right... What I meant was it's not exclusively for green text stories.
