There was a 32 minute period from initial text to the first response, and then the whole thing was over by minute 3.
That certainly didn't kill an hour. That's like 35 minutes. Something's not right.
I'd go so far as to say OP is a liar. I bald faced full lipped green eyed strong jawed curly haired liar who broke my heart and will do so again.
I noticed that too but I think the meme is constructed by juxtaposing a twitter post making the claim about how much time it would kill onto a text of someone testing the claim on their friend, so the twitter person turns out to be wrong but no fault should be applied to the text convo.
Screenshot of a text convo in the screenshot of a Twitter post in a post on Lemmy- I'm holding you to account reallykindasorta. This rests solely on your broad, muscular shoulders. Quite frankly there's no way to wash your rugged yet tender hands of this mess, and I for one won't stand for it.
They told me the devil would be beautiful.
I could totally take a T-Rex, and if you don't believe me bring one here and I'll fight it!
We'll spare no expense!
Maybe a sloth.
We have worked with hundreds of sloths over the years, (both wild and human-reared) and they can all inflict serious injuries if scared or irritated. We have seen a sloth bite through a human hand leaving a hole big enough that you could look through.
In addition to their seriously sharp teeth, sloths are astonishingly strong. Due to their specialized muscle structure, their muscles are pound for pound stronger than a human’s. Despite their small size, sloths are 3x stronger than the average person. Meaning that if you are up against an angry sloth who wants to bite you, chances are the sloth will be the winner of that wrestling match.
When they reach independence (at the age of about 18 months), even the most gentle of hand-reared sloths just do not want to be handled any longer.
Damn.
With or without tools? Tools change the equation big time. The ability of humans (and other monkeys) to throw stuff is probably the closest thing to fucking bullshit sorcery the animal kingdom has ever seen. Even just being able to throw a kinda heavy rock competently can massively level the playing field between a person and a mid-size predator (obviously bears won't give two shits).
one of my favourite graphs ever dunno if it's real but eh it's funny
love the difference on geese
personally I'd say rat house cat and medium dog are my definite I'd win not even that difficult maybe maybe the big dog but I dunno the dog could win any of the others are a hard no I'd die
1/3 of British people:
Only a holy hand grenade could defeat a creature so vile
Have you ever tried to bathe a house cat?
American male: I'm confident up to, but excluding the large dog. Now I'm sure there's a good chance I could win against a large dog, but it's not a big enough chance to call it "confident" and that's the first animal on the list where I can see things going very poorly for me if I don't handle the situation just right.
With the eagle, I'd probably get hurt (badly) and regret it, but what's the chance I'd lose the fight? I mean, their bones are fragile and once a wing is broken, it's game over for them.
Geese? We have Canada geese, amongst other species. They have a well-deserved reputation for their disagreeable personalities (especially when protecting their offspring). They can make you hurt if they wanted to, but an otherwise healthy adult human male can easily win in a fight with them as long as the human doesn't lose his nerve.
their bones are fragile and once a wing is broken, it's game over for them.
Your eyes are also very fragile and once they're gone it's over for you, and big birds are very well equipped for that.
And geese can bite your nuts.
I am not confident enough about both of those.
Large dog will fuck up most of humans 9 times out of 10.we also have canada geese in the UK they're very common here terrifying beasts can break an arm
I guess Americans just have more experience in actually fighting those overgrown turkeys. Actually turkeys have spurs so they're a bit more of a threat to a human adult than geese are. I'd rather tussle with a goose than a wild Tom turkey.
I'd rather take on a goose than a cat/rat. Geese at least you can get a hold of easily.
bahahahahaha no
Ahh I love this graph, true to the stereotypes as an American male I have spent way too long thinking about the different matchups. I think I could beat a chimpanzee, maybe... I'd have a huge weight advantage and that's not to be laughed at. Although I think they are very strong for their weight... but humans have better endurance probably. I think once I see red and my killer instincts activate I'd wipe the floor with him.
This is great. I would never fuck with a goose! Although I think if you know how to grab it by the neck you'll be OK.
Do you have the source of the graph by the way? I would love to share it.
sorry no source I just googled brits vs americans fight animals or something and a couple of graphs like that came up just this one had numbers so I picked this image as I said I'm not even certain it's real but it's low stakes and funny
edit: I had a look apparently yougov is the source
https://yougov.co.uk/society/articles/35979-which-animals-could-britons-beat-fight
I'm team "All animals must receive a pet"
I wouldn't fight a goose, but only lord knows how much would I fight to give the goose my headpats and to have it really tame around me.
I would bring my A-Game and armed to the teeth with peanuts, grapes, banana and pellets!
And this fight will be legendary taking many day and nights (actually, scratch the idea of taking nights. A healthy goose must have a healthy and undisturbed sleep)
Have Americans even seen what a goose does?
You’d have a hand around its neck, doing twirls for a shotput throw, and yeah, the goose goes like twenty-five meters back into the lake, and that’s fine.
But with a sinking realization as the goose fucks off, it stole your wallet.
There is a family legend about an amorous goose. I don't know it well enough to tell it properly though, I wasn't there when it happened. But I do not understand the Statesian confidence in goose warfare.
“But the horse gets it too” really sends it for me.
Not only "what is the horse doing in that time?" but that the dude knows that means no.
The idea that a horse could prepare is kinda whack. What is it gonna do? Get to an open field?
I don't think you could kill a horse in an open field without a long distance weapon. It's a flight animal, if you did any significant damage to it, you'd never come close enough to get it to fight you. Enclosed spaces, that's a different story (you still lose that, it's a horse).
I think the more important question is, can a horse prep? Like does it even understand the concept of prepping? I think if you could somehow tell a horse that a week from now it would have to fight a human it probably wouldn't do anything to prepare.
Suit up!
mine has diamond armor >:3
Put sharp shoes on, prance around celebrating your imminent death.
I did riding as a kid quite a bit and I don't recall ever seeing a horse put it's own shoes on. In fact, I regularly cleaned the shit out of theirs and they just stood there all high and mighty.
One even bit me once. Like a nibble. He liked me but I something pinched him while I was opening the girth (had to look up that word in English lol that doesn't happen often).
Horses are generally just so terrified that if you were given a basic weapon of some sort, with some range, preferably a spear (I'm assuming guns would be kinda op), you could take down a horse without much trouble, imo.
Don't think horses can carry HIV. PreP is not necessary
Ok Mr. Hands...
I could definitely beat the piss out of a salmon, especially if we were brawling out-of-water. A sheep too. I might get a little hurt, but I think I'd be evenly matched with an angry sheep.
Nah, a sheep would kick my ass. A salmon too probably.
I would say unarmed unprepared combat I could do a coyote. I would be super fucked up but I think I could take one.
See the problem I have with this is that sure, you could take a coyote one-on-one. When is that situation going to happen though? Coyotes typically hunt in duos at minimum. Maybe you're able to get your hands around the first, but you're not going to be able to finish the fight before the second attacks from your blind spot.
A lot of people judge their ability to win in a fight based on their 1v1 matchup, when realistically you should base it on how many you can expect to face at oncem
I mean this whole thought experiment is based on hypotheticals in the first place. I never go anywhere completely unarmed and with my knife that I always carry I could absolutely kill many coyotes.
Many people also conceal carry which would probably change the matchup to something much larger like a wild cat. I know handgun calibers generally only serve to piss off large game like bears and moose so it would probably top out somewhere around a mountain lion if we are allowing what some of us normally daily carry.
I heard of a grandma taking a bobcat once, so maybe that?
The biggest problem is that most animals will never fight to the death. I could take multiple coyotes if I just need to scare them off. I could take a bear or mountain lion if all I need to do is not die.
Checkmate liberals! 😁
Their bites aren't as bad as you might think. They can fuck you up, but they rely on pretty quick attacks, so the risk is more in repeated strikes(from what we've seen with the limited coyote attacks that happen).
Don't recommend going for a straight-on brawl, but if you can get behind one, you might have a chance. Bonus points, they're naturally pretty disinclined to fight a human unless given no other options, so you might be able to slip behind at a point?
What if I bring treats? Or maybe 5 kg of raw meat? What is the probability that I win?
Unarmed or armed?
A horse with arms is much more dangerous. No way I could take it.
They're called Centaurs you bigoted fuck.
I think for me the line is somewhere between big dog and wolf lmao
Eh, better question would be what's the largest animal or what kind of a predator you could take in a fight. With any animal you could just say a hamster or something like that.
