What ever floats your goat.
From the TV show Angel.
Harmony, vampire ex-cheerleader
"You're preaching to the horse's mouth!"
It’s like finding a needle in a camel’s back
Which is to say: a whole hell of a lot easier than a camel going through the eye of a needle, to quote JC.
Does the pope shit in the woods?
No, but I certainly do
"#makepoopwhilethesunshines"
Ricky-isms. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3dYMQgopIY
You can't crack an omelet without making eggs.
i like to say "das leben ist kein ponyschlecken" and "das leben ist kein zuckerhof".
You would say that.
Not the brightest knife in the tool room.
Who told you that?
Daffy Duck one said, "You buttered you're bread, now sleep in it." And 10 year old me couldn't stop laughing.
You can give a man a drink and his thirst will be quenched for a day, but if you show a man to the water source, he will be quenched for the rest of his life.
That's a really tough nut to swallow
Lmao
You won.
A bird in the hand is worth its weight in gold.
Icarus flew too close to the man in the moon.
Find a penny, pick it up. Would you like some making fuck?
BERSERKER!
Outstanding, friend. Got a laugh out of me.
Does the pope shit in the woods?
But nobody is around to smell it, does it have an odor?
Are bears Catholic?
And which one would you rather meet in the middle of a forest?
I've made my omelette, now I've got to sleep in it. If you lead a horse to water, you can make it fish.
I'd rather "if you lead a horse to water, teach it to fish"
We could workshop it, but if you're bad at something, never do it for free
The fish one is making me laugh
Glad to hear it. You know what they say, you miss 100% of the shots you take
I used to say "we'll burn that bridge when we get to it." all the time! People didn't like it though.
Those who dig others a grave shouldn't throw rocks.
I like one from a They Might Be Giants song, you made my day, now you have to sleep in it.
You're barking up the wrong metaphor
i'n not the brightest bulb in the shed, but i sure am the sharpest!
one of my favourites is "the sharpest bulb in the box"
I had a boss who said:
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck his ass to make him drink."
I... I just... Can't.Okay, you win the internet for the day. 👍
Those that live in glass houses can throw the first stone.
Don't throw glasses in a stone house.
This makes me so happy, thanks for teaching me a word
Malaphors? I call these Rickyisms.
Rickyisms are modern day malapropisms, named for Mrs Malaprop from the 1775 play The Rivals by Sheridan, rather than malaphors.
The difference being a malaphor is a mixed up idiom like the examples in the post and a malapropism is substituting a word in a common saying or idiom for a similar sounding one. For example, "finding an escape goat" or "I resemble that remark".
"Why don't you make like tree and fuck off, Lahey!" -Ricky
(I know the difference, I was just attempting to be silly with it all.)
A toad a sow.
Worse case Ontario I get to tell you I toad a so, I fuckin a toad a so.
This looks like ai slop
You made my day, now you have to sleep in it
She looks like she's been through the run of the mill
For those of you speaking German: Hast du enen Scherzkeks gefrühstückt?
You can't have your cake.
You can lead a whore to water, but you can't make her douche.
I spit my drink. Oh well, it's water under the fridge.
🎵 Under the fridge downtown is where I chewed some cud!
Me when I say I'll meet new people: we'll burn that bridge when we get to it.
It's raining cobras and mongooses.
