[meme] I'm constantly dodging lesbian orgies whenever I try to find a seat in an Amtrak

I'm clearly taking the wrong trains :3

Come to Chicago, take the Red, Purple, or Brown lines to Belmont. Wait for what you are looking for and there you go.
- Thats the problem, im in New York
- If the brown line doesn't connect to Cleveland, my day will be ruined.

I think we might be able to guess something about the person in charge of Amtrak's tumblr page...

They probably don't work for Amtrak?
- But they should. Good marketing.

Everybody always like "fuck cars" but nobody can "fuck in car."

I assure you plenty of people have fucked in cars
- And that's how I was born. Well, it was a pickup, but the principle is the same.
That one particularly steamy car scene from Titanic says otherwise. 😏
- But they were also on a boat... Hmmmm. This gives me an idea about the auto train.
- There was a not great charlie sheen movie in the 90s called the chase where he has sex in a car while being chased by police.
Everybody always like “fuck cars” but nobody can “fuck in car.”

Is it only on the line to Chicago? Would they be willing to implement it on other services?

I'm fucking DYING this is so fucking funny to me

It's like one those corporate carriages at pride marches; the pride part is super wholesome, the corporate part is a bit strange. Well, riding (in) trains is endorsable - but passenger transport could also be public.

Also, steamy and trains...

I'd wink their carriage anyways.

They just need to run carriages with private compartments rather than airline-style seating. Problem solved.
- They already have those. They are offering steamy lesbian sex with a lonely butch; not a open show. 🤦‍♀️

A single ticket for a train from Austin to Chicago is like $150 and takes a full day. The same plane ticket can be regularly bought for the same price and gets there in about 6 hours.

But are there any hot gay women on that plane? Or hot gay tomatoes in your case?
- I hope to seduce all gay beings within a 100 meter radius at all times.
Bravo, you solved it. Solution-oriented. Climate breakdown averted.
I find it's highly dependent on the route. I can get from my hometown (Madison, WI) to Detroit by plane for a little over $600. Amtrak stops at a small town a little north of Madison (about a 20min drive for me), and can get me to Detroit for $150. Even a private room is a bit cheaper than a plane.

Train does take 16 hours, but it's 16 relatively pleasant hours where I can stretch out without being cramped. It would also be significantly faster if we invested in rail properly. Hell, maybe not even high speed rail; that route could probably be a lot faster if we just made Amtrak suck less.