I had to pay the trash company to take an old couch. They sent over a special truck that ate that sofa bed in seconds and all that was left on the road were some wood splinters. That was when I knew how I wanted to be disposed of after I die.
I've always said to dump me in a ditch somewhere, I'm not gonna care, I'll be dead. If anybody pays for an expensive ass coffin for me, I will come back and haunt their ass.
Burial Pod baby: https://8billiontrees.com/eco-friendly-natural-products/tree-pod-burial/
I would have liked a sky burial or something.
This is basically what I want done, composting and then burial under a redwood sapling. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_composting
My plan, if I live old enough to be facing debilitating age-related illness is to organize all my assets to be distributed beforehand, then hike out into the middle of a dense forest where I cant possibly be found, dig a shallow pit to lie in, and die there by whatever means tickles me at the time.
There are no large predators where I live, so Id just be slowly dissected by the ants and the beetles.
Bene Gesserit burials in "Chapterhouse" sound like it: dig a vertical hole, put the body in with (presumably) biodegradable wrapping, plant a tree on it.
I've said the same thing,same reasoning, but my wife and kids lost their minds when I suggested it. I even suggested planting a tree so they could have a place to consider "me" to be,no dice. So good luck to you and everyone else concerned with saving money or hassle out there.
You basically just rephrased multiple scenes with Frank in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia...
"I mean, I don't give a shit. If I was dead you could bang me all you want. I mean, who cares? A dead body is like a piece of trash. I mean, shove as much shit in there as you want. Fill me up with cream, make a stew out of my ass. What's the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shit? You're dead, you're dead! Oh shit! Is my mic on?"
or another episode: "When I die, just throw me in the trash!"
Just thought it was funny to find people mirroring Frank Reynolds in real life... although I always pretty much agreed with him. I'm more concerned with how traumatizing it'd be for my family to see me in a ditch, and/or being filled with cream.
I want to be shot into space in the Han Solo carbonate pose. Like frozen in concrete or something similar.
That way maybe one day aliens can find me and be like “wtf?!?”, and I’ll end up in a an alien museum or private collectors house.
Your body is a resource. Don't throw it away or bury it, give it to a gothy craftsman in exchange for half the jewelry made from it going to your family. It literally triples your chances of acquiring haunting privileges.
Now this sounds rather fancy lot, good sir!
A reminder to everyone that Costco sells caskets: https://www.costco.com/funeral-caskets.html
And every funeral home legally has to allow you to purchase the casket elsewhere per the FTC: https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/ftc-funeral-rule (That doc also has a lot of other useful tips in it.)
I was a funeral director. People rarely provide their own caskets even if they have the legal right to. Nobody wants to manage the purchase and delivery of an expensive product right after their loved one has died. Funeral homes will also make it difficult by requiring delivery at certain times, inspection by the purchaser at time of delivery, and requiring the purchaser also get liability insurance on the casket.
I love the fact that there is star ratings for the caskets, like did the person who passed away come back to life to rate the casket out of 5 starts and then pass away again.
Nice try Costco. Your casket sales are down and now the guerilla marketing starts.
Even knowing the crazy shit that happens when your body is "donated for science" I still want it. It would be neat for some weirdo to have my skull on their shelf, or get dissected in front of an audience.
Now that I think about it, I should sell off my body parts like a Ferengi.
Rule of Acquisition #75: Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
It's my understanding that most bodies "donated to science" end up as medical school cadavers, that you'll be a semester's lab equipment for four graduate students.
That would also be good, but Last Week Tonight did a story that showed the reality is more like I described
I don't care if some psychopathic med student uses my body as a puppet while doing a silly voice. I don't care if they play Weekend at Bernies with it. That prick will be saving lives soon enough, that's all that matters. When I disrespectfully dissected a fetal pig in high school bio, I still learned something.
I want this too. I saw a documentary about a dying man who took this option. They interviewed him about the decision, then after his death filmed medical students dissecting him (from a distance, it was discreet) and interviewed them about the experience. They were grateful for his gift, and incredibly respectful when speaking about him.
The thing is, the inside of a body looks nothing like the nice tidy diagrams. It's a mess in there! I'd like these kids to practise on dead me before they start cutting into live people.
What if they resurrect your brain in a jar and make you watch Justin Bieber videos all day?
I don't believe in hell
Vacuum Desiccation is where the real money is! https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ferengi_death_ritual
Air frying is just a convection cremation, you know.
also free snacks for the mourning
saves a ton on catering
No need to wait for the next day, you can eat the night of!
In Edge runners, they were putting people's cremated remains in stainless steel capsule, like a world's worst kinder surprise. That struck me as being very plausible in the future.
My plan has always been to get cremated and then just bury my ashes somewhere with a little gravestone. No need for a container or anything, after a few years go ahead and bury someone else's ashes in the same spot and either replace the headstone or figure out a way to stack em. Just have a running tally of names and dates for everyone buried in that plot.
My plan A was similar. Just get cremated and just be scattered around my parents graves. Just so "I'm around“. Plan b, viking funeral. Plan "c" is getting cramated, getting an half and ounce of ashes, putting it in resin keychains. Then during the memorial, "take a little piece of Bob with you.", and hand out the keychains. Eventually, you are going to lose it, go back to my wife, because she probably has a box of leftover me somewhere.
I think there are worse kinder surprises.
Yea, what happens in SOMA fucks with me whenever i think about it.
Digitizing consciousness for use in simulations, and spun up and down in an isolated environment like they are some AWS service.
I honestly prefer that.
Funeral homes will try to guilt trip you to go for the most expensive options by saying it will be the last thing you can do for your loved ones.
The last thing I do for them will be to pull the plug most likely. After they dead it's whatever.
Mom just died this Monday. On my bd. She was always a bit inconsiderate.
I'm scared her husband will get raped by a funeral home. The man is destroyed. 30-years, and now, nothing... He might go for anything he's told.
I told my wife that when I die, if she can, claim she doesn't recognize the body so that the state has to dispose of me to save costs.
I love this so much lol.
I told my wife the same...repeatedly. We are Canadian though.
As a woodworker, my first thought is 'I can build my own casket for a tenth of that price."
My second thought is "Damn I need to get into the casket industry."
Just fling me into a wood chipper, and point it at the ground in a field somewhere.
Failing that, I've always loved the idea of being strapped to a rocket and launched into space.
If all else fails, I'd like my family to perform a (mostly) shot-for-shot remake of the funeral scene from GoW: Ragnarok.
If all else fails, I'd like my family to perform a (mostly) shot-for-shot remake of the funeral scene from GoW: Ragnarok
Complete with ~Bear McCreary~ "Raeb" playing his hurdy-gurdy?
Of course, ideally it'd be Bear McCreary, but I'd settle for my wife learning to play it.
Am I the only one that thinks a Viking burial with a raft cobbled together out of logs and stuff by my loved ones would be awesome?
Exactly... Why is this not an option? It needs to be.
Right? Feel like the building of the raft would be a good way for people to process, wouldn't be that expensive cause you'd just be using wood and rope instead of a coffin and burial service
I want my remains to be scattered around wonderland. Also, no cremation
Canada's Wonderland?
Yeah, strap my head to leviathan plz
For when you need that last extra special grope of capitalism
You just wait to find out how much it cost to make the hole and then to close it. Or to just purchase the little spot of ground that you're going to be buried beneath. Or how about the giant concrete box they have to bury you in to which goes your casket. Or spending $600 on a single splay flowers..... With a bow.
I've made it very known that I wanna be thrown in to the woods to rot when I die.
I still can't believe feeding a corpse to vultures is illegal. That's the most natural way to bury someone there is.
I've always wanted to have a fully natural burial.
Just take my body into the woods and dig a hole and put me in the middle of a nice stand of trees.
My good friend who is a funeral director said that this would, in fact, be illegal, running afoul of several corpse desecration laws at both state and federal levels.
The laws are in place obviously to prevent from hiding bodies (or adding another charge to their crimes when they do) as well as other reasons like missing persons, etc. (like...if you're a hiker or something and you come across a body, you can't just bury it and move on, you have to notify the authorities).
I get all that, but I still didn't see why someone couldn't have this wish in writing and have it all overseen by some official.
He also added that burial sites are required to basically have secure funding for their upkeep into perpetuity, which is obviously not going the be the case for some random patch of woods.
Since we had that conversation I have seen that there are a few businesses for "green burials" if not natural ones (you're first cremated then your ashes are buried in a grove they maintain). I'm hoping that before my number gets pulled that there's an even more natural option where it's literally a healthy, diverse woodland and your body is allowed to be buried, to decompose and give its nutrients back to the earth.
I wouldn't want to train the vultures in my neighborhood to think any human lying down is fair game to get pecked or worse.
Put me on the lawn so I can finally fertlize it like I said I would.
I'm finally going to medical school!
Harvard Medical. As a cadaver. They'll return my ashes to my son when the students are finished hacking my fat ass up for science.
@BonesOfTheMoon Funerals are bourgeoisie BS. $ 700 cremations include a cardboard box
I used to know a guy who embalmed his own wife (yes I'm serious!) who offered to get me a deal when the time came for cheap cremation but sadly he died first.
A funeral I attended recently had a plywood coffin and a bunch of felt-tip pens for people to write messages with. At another one a while back, the coffin was wickerwork.
You sure about that buddy ?
In the mighty words of Danny devito, "when I'm dead, just throw me in the trash."
Trash man!
I consider it to be alarming because it can encourage people to choose cremation unnecessarily, just because it fits the budget. I would not take away or mock anyone's choice to cremate if that really is their first choice...
But I think it's upsetting for Orthodox Christians and other groups that require burial and would like to have a dignified casket at an affordable price. Just like how I sometimes feel bothered thinking about *the cost of burial plots." The idea of being fleeced of a significant part of a modest inheritance through the funerary process is really off-putting.
I get your point, but organized religion LOVES to fleece people. They live for that shit! Make you feel ill and sick and then sell you the 7,500 $ cure!
I mean at that point, why aren't churches paying the funeral expenses? Can't let a Christian corpse get desecrated! It is their Christian duty!
What!? And ruin the bottom line!? Blasphemous!
I imagine that some do pay for it, while others don't.
I've learned there's a huge variety in compensation for Priests, as well. In places like Greece, where it is the state religion, Priests are government employees, I believe, and they get some fixed amount as public servants, while in much of the world it all depends on the local parish. Many priests have to continue working in the world to pay their bills.
I am not sure if there has been a case at my church where we have crowdfunded a casket but I know we have people pay something like $25 USD a year to be buried in the Church cemetery, which is an absolute steal.
Poor people here are universally cremated.
Just Kobe me into the nearest dumpster/landfill.
100% compostable
I want my decrepit corpse launched into space, which is only slightly more expensive
First parts are organ donations.
The excess can be used by science.
The excess from that can be burned and thrown somewhere, I don't care.
They can stick my woofy on a stick and wave it around in a parade for all I care.
I want the Roman style, before Christianity. Burn me on a big pile of logs
is there a ralph's around here?
Ralph's, like Ralph's BBQ here.
How big is the biggest rubbermaid tote?
A hacksaw and several smaller totes are cheaper.
Hell I'd be ok with someone just throwing me into a big blender then feeding me to some pigs or something.
Throw me in an open hole, return me to Gaia.
the average cost of a casket is usually between $2,000 and $5,000
-random google seo spam
You used to be able to get a pine box for $500. Idk what they cost now. I only know this because I had the misfortune of having to plan a funeral for someone.
I'll build you one for $495
if you donate your organs, the hospital will cremate the leftovers for free...
Jeffrey Dahmer has enter the chat.
At this point take me to Uruguay and eat me.
I think you mean the Andes between Argentina and Chile. You just need some Uruguayans handy to eat you.
Garbage post.
