5ivesos reporting for duty! Hadn't checked r*ddit for a while and just saw a couple messages from regulars letting me know about this place, thanks @[email protected] and @[email protected] !
After crying basically every day for the last week I realised I’m not coping and that my partner has been letting me down, I have finally asked for more help. Looking after a baby basically by yourself 24 hours a day and being sleep deprived is hard.
I was trying to be the perfect mum, partner, housewife… I had this idea that if I did all the chores and cooking etc, partner would have more time to take baby when he’s home. Guess what he did instead? Play Zelda all day. Lol.
Well I’ve asked him to step it up. We have a sleep consultant coming to help with baby’s sleep. I’m going to hold MIL to her promise to come help out more. I’m considering trying to get baby into daycare earlier than we thought for a day a week so I can reclaim some sanity… we shall see.
Good on you for asking for help. I remember the early days when my husband would come home and say "I've worked all day. I'm tired. I need to relax" and I said to him "that's fine. That's understandable but when is it my time to relax because you've clocked off now when do I get to". He thought about it for about 3 seconds and went "ah let's work something out". Sometimes we don't realise what others are going through until it's pointed out. Compromise and compassion is the key here.
Yes that’s exactly it. He works long and hard at a job he wants to leave so I totally get it. But I’ve had to really start articulating that I am up every 2-3 hours at night PLUS looking after baby all day. A baby who is much harder work than the sleepy little newborn he got to know on his parental leave! We are just in this awkward phase where baby has a lot more needs so the load is heavier and we haven’t quite figured out how to distribute it.
Well that all sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through it. First of all, avoid working towards perfection. Those Insta mums who sip a magic whilst doing some Dawn seaside yoga have help at home garanteed. Your job is to keep them alive, that should be the only goal.
Second of all, dads on every fucking nappy during the day! What he’s in leave and not doing anything? Bullshit. It’s his kid too!
I have to remind myself multiple times a day the other women I see have family, paid help, etc. It’s so hard! I’m a very driven person and I love looking after my baby but it’s also not intellectually stimulating at all haha. I need my projects!
Yeah it’s so weird because he was really good for ages. I didn’t have to ask for things. He would do things for me and look after me. Then it hit a point somewhere where I’m like, literally having to ask basic things like if he can please do the nappy change or take him so I can sleep in. And I think that’s why it got to a yuck place because I’ve also been confused as to why/how/when things changed. We still need to have a bigger talk about That.
It took me so long to learn this. My ex was just as passive aggressive and emotion driven as I am, so we were just in an echo chamber of passive-aggressiveness and expecting the other to read our minds. I made the effort to anticipate his needs but he never did the same for me.
It wasn’t until I got in a relationship with mr. Omoikiri that I realised how irrational that mindset is. Maybe it’s because he’s an engineer and very solutions-driven or maybe it’s because English is his second language and just didn’t pick up on the cues I was throwing out, but eventually he was like “this isn’t working. I can’t read your mind. We can’t address problems if you don’t tell me that there’s a problem.” It was like a slap in the face in the best possible way.
Sometimes it’s so frustrating and I just want him to instinctively know what I need because how can he not see it, but only we know what’s going on in our brains and emotions and only we can speak for them. So we need to because otherwise no one else will and you’ll just drown in it.
The few times curiosity got the better of me I found a sea of angry posts... and the odd person cleaning out their cupboards or visiting a new cafe or something. I wish those people would drop by.
I have a feeling that quite a few people aren't going back exclusively. I suspect a lot of us will do both for a bit and eventually come back here. The reddit bosses aren't going to give up easily.
I feel the same. It's sweet, chill and supportive like I always thought this kind of thing should be. On Reddit you'd find some nice people but too high a percentage of trolls.
Just got in from work. It's freezing at home - and by that I mean ice on the inside of the toilet window. Come on, ducted heating! Do your stuff!
NB: dumplings in soup for dinner. Might even sneak in some veg into the soup. I have decided that the Massel Pho stock cubes are the best thing since button up sandshoes.
Massel does a laksa stock cube too, but I find these a bit too hot for me at present. My tolerance for chili has dropped dramatically since treatment. Piedmonte's have both on the shelf but I bet a good Colesworth would also have them. Is King & Godfrey's still a thing in Carlton cos I bet they'll have them.
Love 'urgent' emails at 3:30 with an 'action by COB' request.
Read through the chain of comms and it was sitting in someone's inbox for over a week.
I'm tempted to reply with 'Please see comments below' and have the only comments as 'It's not' next to their 'urgent' and 'not gonna happen' next to 'action by COB'
Yeah. I reckon it's because people who commented on the sub articles have nowhere else to go but the dt so there's the angry ones, shit posters and the "carry on. Nothing's going on" bunch. It seems odd.
This morning I am sincerely grateful for the ducted heating outlet in the bathroom. Ambient temp in rest of house is 13, bathroom is 25!!!!! Loving it. Not loving the bill to come but being clean is worth it.
A warm bathroom is a glorious thing. My ducted heating died years ago, but I have a panel heater in the bathroom with a timer so it is always warm in the morning. Which also has the bonus of keeping mould away.
It is fortunately 16 degrees right now inside our apartment with no heating, which I think is the bottom end of the comfortable range - I can imagine how a few degrees colder would be too cold!
Strange melancholy mood today. Started off by me pondering much better life would be if instead of having to be awake at a certain time, you got up when you felt like. Now I’m pondering existence.
That was me yesterday, but instead all I could think was how much life would be better working four days a week (without the reduction in pay). Just… all the things I could do AND NOT BE FUCKING TIRED ALL THE TIME. Shouldn’t be such a tough ask and yet here we are.
I feel you. The thing that always sends me in an existential tailspin with work is the lack of freedom in when you get to wake up, when you get to eat and for how long etc. I hate it.
I follow a few art and craft type areas on various sites, and find it disturbing how much content now is basically just performance art. It's created to look like an interesting process for people to watch rather than because it actually creates something worthwhile, and it is way too simplistic to be instructional. Sometimes it feels like no one is actually living life any more, they are just watching it or creating content for other people to watch. I really like being able to share in things other people are making and doing, but real content is getting pushed out by this made-for-clicks stuff and its really disapointing.
I feel that. Similarly, every time I see footage of a concert or sporting event, people are just... watching their phones as they film it, rather than enjoying the moment. I find it pretty depressing, and quite surreal.
I will admit I like watching people knit (I'm a knitter myself) because it's very short of... Relaxing almost. Even crochet content too weirdly enough. But I imagine it's a different story for those who are creating drawings or something else. But I also don't delve deep into knitting/crochet content except for the few youtubers I watch.
I'm in Emerald for a couple of days to finally decompress from the absolute bullshit of work of the last 12 months and ngl seeing the choo choo train go past will never get old. Makes it all feel like it's gonna be OK 🚂🚃🚃
I love this! Emerald (and indeed that whole part of Vic) is a lovely place to be in, and having that ability to just be there in the moment during a point which sounds so stressful… that’s awesome.
It has been a long time coming! Very grateful that the weather is holding out, was half expecting to get out here and then be locked indoors by the rain, but it's lovely.
I am! It's a little rustic studio (cough cough someone's reno'ed granny flat/shed) super close to town. There seemed to be heaps of options on Airbnb when I was looking. You definitely should! (no such thing as it being too early to teach TinyestBreak how to wave at a train right?)
Crawl into a nice warm bed, Mrs and baby asleep, just about to turn the light off when suddenly there’s a giant wet fart and the baby is screaming, cats are bolting off the bed and it’s on for young and old. This is why I’m getting grey hairs!
Have a look here to find more communities to add to your aussie.zone account. You can copy/paste the full html link into aussie.zone/search and it will find it within 10+ seconds.
Nice! I ended up making 4 different accounts for the different instances I joined when I started all this because I was a dumbarse and didn't know what I was doing 😔
I think it works better with more logins. The link between instances is a bit buggy. Plus you can use each login for a different set of communities to create multiple custom feeds.
Same here. I joined the main Lemmy.World one I think, which I still use. I honestly cannot remember how I found aussie.zone, possibly while I was searching for Melbourne on the other instance.
So apparently someone is impersonating epicpillowcase and made what I thought was a joke from them but was completely transphobic. Also apparently other fake dupes exist.
reported and blocked, but they'll have another account so it's fucking useless . who ever you are don';t think you'll stop me posting about my amazing journey, and I'll start calling out the fucking terfs and incels again now as well. just when we thought were untouched by the hands of fuckwits
Its been a while but i did a homeless drop off today yay. The place looks like its expanded staff and is busy af which is nice. The oddest thing ive hoarded to donate is actually the ramen seasoning packets: i dont like the dehydrated veges and chili sachets but i read an article that says homeless ppl do. It feels...strange to hoard such a random thing but the shelter confirmed today they absolutely eat that shit up so 🤷♀️
I look for organisations that have good transparency, consistency, volunteers etc. This org has a number of locations and they do outcalls ie get in van driving around handing out care packages. Soap, feminine hygiene, body wash, bags of any shape and size are always taken. Atm food isnt. Every shelter has only so much storage so if you have a ton of stuff best to call them and check if they have space. They have good in person and phone service :)
He gazes down from great heights
Slow blinking, happy he's got cuddles
He'll beg to be held, my fluffy little light
We'll sit together, he'll purr, drool, for a hug puddle
Urgh mum just called to ask if I can house/dog sit for them for 4 weeks in August/September while they go on another US holiday. Usually I'd go and do it if it's a week or two but now that I'm expected back in the office, I'd have to commute from friggin Melton and leave $2.2k worth of Docklands apartment empty.. the entire reason why I live here is to avoid the shit commute, so I've said no. Besides, I think I might want to go on my own holiday around then but I haven't planned anything.
Are your folks retired? I feel that sometimes those who are retired seem to forget what it’s like to work five days a week and do what we’re doing day in and day out and how exhausting it is. Hopefully yours understands why you said no.
Yeah both retired. Mum only just retired a few months ago from a high level job so she knows all about it. She was fine with me saying no, albeit disappointed because me house/dog sitting is by far the best option for them and the dog.
Holy shit, I'm hardly consuming any news but I heard somewhere there was someone trying to tourist dive the titanic and thought, I got a bad feeling about this.
I was listening to Raf on ABC Melbourne just now, he had an interview with a CBS journo who went on this very vessel last year. Apparently anyone who goes on it has to have a special diet for a few days before to minimise the need for using the toilet on board, which is basically a piss bottle and ziplock bags for anything bigger. The 'toilet' is behind a modesty curtain and they turn the music up to cover any noises. Passengers are not allowed to bring any extra food or drink onboard :0/
I'm surprised that they didn't use/have a chemical/camping toilet, or anything quite like that. That seems like a better choice compared to some bottles and a lunch bag.
This is my mid-Winter night time ditty
Penned in bed, for this thread, in this city
My core is icy, I'm a chilly witch's titty
This poem is sadly neither warm nor witty
My frozen nose inhales the frosted air
Numb fingers typing, fumbling, pale and fair
The cat 'neath the doona doesn't even care
But if I move he'll bite me, so I shan't dare.
Put together a brand new desk I ordered from Ikea, and I am enjoying it ever much so. I've been craving more space for quite a while and glad I made the purchase. The extra drawers are quite wonderful too, meaning I can put away and sort things in a more proper manner.
Cool and frustrating trans stories for this pride month. So today I volunteered to help make care packages for older trans and gender diverse people, which was a good way to spend a morning. There's a job fair Transgender Victoria are facilitating tomorrow where I think 13 employers are directly seeking trans and gender diverse staff. It's not a huge number but it's a greatly heartwarming thing regardless.
I was going to wax lyrical about my bank and insurer being super trans positive until I got their email stating they could only reflect my gender as male or female. The super friendly person had mistakenly identified me as non-binary and therefore they couldn't change my gender in their system. I can't reply to that email either as it's unmonitored. Duh, I'm female, not non-binary, dumb dumb. I tried phoning them again now but after five minutes the line dropped. Seems like a simple clerical error but it leaves all non binary completely non-represented and that's not good enough, They've been trained but maybe not that well, still and all at least they use my preferred name and don't treat me any differently but when someone says they're transgender it usually means they're transgender, not non-binary necessarily. A lot of non binary people don't identify as being transgender and don't identify as either male or female. I should add they really went the extra mile to help up until now and are trying to be better. Just when the insurance lady and I had had a great conversation about inclusion I feel kind of deflated now. Two steps forward, one step back.
I also just read the elon musk has now stated cis and cisgender are slurs on twitter. I'll take all the good and feel good rather than dwelling on the bad of course, but its a reminder of how far we have to go. Cis is used as a slur by trans people sometimes for sure but not by everyone and not by cis people who are happy to be identified as such.
I personally don't like to ID as trans because I often think you're transitioning from one gender to the other, I don't see nonbinary as a gender. But for cishet society at large, it's much easier to explain your trans, and I mean nonbinary does fall under the category of transgender. So I often will say trans binary and nonbinary people so that it can be included in the trans or it can not be.
Also I wish people who didn't learn a thing or two in English class understood what the word trans and cis as prefixes mean. A word's a slur once the majority use it in a negative light. Trans people take up like 0.01% of the population. So miniscule.
Exactly my understanding of it. We were talking about it today. Non binary people are not always in some kind of transition. I know some who are but still identify as non binary. I can't understand what it would feel like to be non binary, as I am binary. I am defined as transgender, but i'm taking oestrogen and blocking testosterone to transition to my correct biological gender, grow and shrink, have accurate female emotions be more in touch with my intuition among the myriad effects I am feeling. It takes time so it is a transition. I now present as female feeling more comfortable in myself than I ever did trying to be a man, which i am not. I am a woman. That's what I am. That people name it transgender is really a misnomer, my motivations and desires have always been far more aligned with being female and its been that way since I can remember. I'm correcting my gender more accurately. We all face some the same discriminations though however today its become apparent how much more difficult is it to be non binary. People can simplify things with words like sex change but they don't want to understand that some people cannot be male or female or name their gender anything. Its simple for a bank to change my name, gender and title.
I think gender diverse would be a better catch all for people who aren't the gender they were assigned at birth or for those who have no gender at all.
So update on the licence. Went to Warragul, the jobseeker person is really nice. Got my licence done and got a new photo so I am now ready to get drunk on my birthday!
tldr, I wrote this at about 1130. thanks for reading if you can sit through it all.
So reddit seems to truncate comments before 2023. Anyone else have the same problem? Or is possible I was just deleting everything before this?
All g either way my post on Jan 5 was talking about first putting my house on the market so if that's where the journal stretches back it kinda makes sense to me anyway. Its possible that's when I started no deleting things, as I used to delete everything for reasons I can't remember.
Thanks to all of you for your understanding, there was a sense of loss and dissapointment then acceptance. Now it's on my hd and I'll stick it on drive too.
Had an amazing end to the day yesterday and while I didn't think I'd need to do any volunteer work I had to do some things which will have postentially great outcomes and showed me how much good will there is for my community despite all the bullshit we keep reading about in the news and from other countries. Then I have the chance to do more tomorrow Thursday and Saturday.
I finally went to the opshop with the last of my stuff to donate. They didn't take it all, but a big box of cables can just live in the boot till I find somewhere to take it. The place is almost completely set up. It's so easy to keep clean and find things. St Kilda is pretty cool to live in. I hardly need to drive and I'm only spending about ten bucks a week on petrol. There's a great cafe around the corner.
AA is helping me face myself a lot more much than I had to in dealing with being trans, which made completely re-avaluate every moment of my life. Journaling is a part of a part of it so that's pretty good, seeing as its already become a part of my life anyway. There's an online group which runs 24/7 and its been a godsend literally. There's a chapter on agnostics which summed up pretty much my whole spiritual view for the last 25 years. Then the end I'm a long way away from is all about service, which is already a part of life as well. It has a low success rate but I don't have much choice other than take it on with the same gusto as everything I've done in the last 12 months.
Is Lemmy short for lemmings? Like those little guys that follow each other. The walkers, the diggers and the ones that stopped the others from plunging off the cliff.
It's so warm in the office that I'm getting sleepy. This is why I don't like coming here all that much. The heater going full blast + sun from all of the windows. Is there a "one temperature fits all" that can be set? I reckon it's pushing 25 degrees in here, that's way too warm for most people.
It just seems like everyone is going off at everyone. If you agree with what's happening, you'll be downvoted to hell and argued with by the people who don't. If you don't agree with what's happening, you'll be a little less downvoted but probably still sit on controversial, and have people who do arguing with you. I don't think I've ever seen an Aussie internet community this divided and aggressive about things bsfore
Nope. Unless the sub has the equivalent of the sun in lights you wouldn’t see shit anyway. It’s all going to be covered in sand and undersea debris. It’s a flex to say you’ve been, no one’s actually interested in seeing shit cause you WONT see much.
I think untimely deaths are tragic inherently. There are certainly degrees to tragedy though, and I agree that this is less tragic than most. It's just a big story because it's quite a spectacular incident.
Very much anticipating the outcome rubs hands like raccoon so much room for imagination as to what happened. I'm impressed that the oxygen could last them 96 hours though. That's something.
Initial accident trying to stay calm, trying to establish communication, testing all the systems, beginning to blame the CEO, learning about the maximum time they have, rationing the food and drinks they brought, the toilet filling up and god forbid someone needs to poop, REALLY blaming the CEO, maybe some other system failing. I seriously doubt they'll survive but if they do it will be a horror movie. They don't even need to change the crew for extra personalities. The scientist knew the risk. The aviator knows engineering. The CEO has been cutting corners. And two passengers are family.
Damn house is so cold it's actually woken me up. Going to make a mad dash for my heated blanket on the couch and then return to bed for a little while longer I think.
I stayed up to watch the Ashes and it was going so slow and I couldn't hang on anymore so I went to bed thinking we are doomed anyway. Woke up and found we WON. We won the first test. Woohoo.
Was a nice way to start the morning. I did the same as you and crashed at about 1am. In hindsight, should've gone to bed early and got up at 3 to watch the end of it.
I reckon you’d get into it if Tinyest was doing that. Imagine his little pads and helmet and bat, swinging for the fences and then running which ever direction he’d end up facing. Adorable.
Oh boo. Where's your team spirit? Hahah. No seriously if Tinyest comes home to announce he's on the cricket team you'll be there with tears in your eyes cheering him on guaranteed.
I voted open for the r/melb thing but it seems quite off now. Like you get your car back after it was stolen and even though you've got it back, it's just not quite the same..
In other news, throat is sooooore. Had about 100 lozenges. Hoping it goes away on its own, cbf going doctors :(
They're great honestly and often in fantastic places. The ones at woodside beach are pretty cheap at this time of year, quiet and there's nothing to do but walk along the beach or relax in the park opposite. Pretty cold for swimming of course.
I'll have a latte thanks. Miss Meow tells me she is in imminent danger of starvation (despite having just finished breakfast) and would like a seafood platter with a side of chicken.
Air is warm and thick in JK.
The toilet is very sophisticated, space age really.. it's got everything. Impressed but not convinced toilet needs a control panel.
Going to look at another car this arvo, really really hoping this one is actually good. I've had absolutely no luck on my car hunt and it's really bumming me out, I was suppose to have bought one by now but it's just not happened.
I'm Melbourne born and bred but I'm also a ride or die Queensland supporter in NRL State of Origin! Just wrapped up the 2023 series with an awesome win! I know I'm one of the few who pay attention to this stuff down here but still.. woooo!!
Car inspection was fine, had all the books and stuff but it's a no because he provided a fake name and was weird about providing contact details when I asked for them so I could have my mechanic set up an inspection with him.
Good lord. Even the tender process for Myki is a shitshow. Honestly though were any of those providers going to be good anyway? And who were we to think that we deserve a better PT ticketing system?
I'm kind of loving the attention on state government tender process (whether lead by liberal or labor, the process is the same). Finance admin specialist staff have disappeared from the units/ departments I've worked in over the last few years, and the finance/ procurement process is often pushed onto people who lack experience in these areas. I'd raised it with management and the union, but there's no legal requirement for staff handling those roles to have any set experience or training.
To be fair, Myki was going to be a mess no matter how you put it. The company behind it had never made that kind of thing before, and we turned down the company behind HK's Octopus system for them. Still mildly ticked about that, since being able to pay for stuff with the Octopus/Transport card is an amazing feature that more countries should have.
I'd love to be able to hop on a train, and buy a coffee or lunch with just my transport card. It's very handy.
Thanks for all the support lovely people. The community grows stronger with solidarity and I'll sleep well tonight. Transphobia is actually becoming less common but more nasty because so many of us call it out. The terf numbers are thinning and I feel safe in women's spaces just like all the women I interact with feel safe with me in them. They won't win and will find some other marginalised group to target as our marginalisation diminishes, which happens every day we show each other support like you all have tonight. Thanks, my cup runeth over!
It's been a long day of being over tired and somewhat grumpy at work. Trying to rally myself for trivia tonight, but ready to just curl up and go to sleep. But I do love trivia...
I want to go camping/hiking, accessible by PT/walking, for 2-7 days, within the next week or two. I'm thinking maybe Great Ocean Walk, but would like some alternative ideas.
If you don't mind cold & wet, then the back end of the Dandenongs might suit. From Emerald, Cockatoo and generally around there. There are some good walks around Kinglake, Toolangi and Flowerdale but you'll freeze your tits off in that area at this time of year. Mind you, the Flowerdale Pub is worth it as an overnighter. Consider the Acheron Way too - wonderful on foot but a serious challenge in a motor vehicle rn.
I would not recommend the Lerderderg Gorge - it's dangerous at the best of times and kills people at this time of year. Got the worst fatality rate of all Vic's national/state parks
Love that. We’ve got magpies and currawongs in our local park and I just love listening to them sing away when we’re walking Procrastidog. Twice during lockdowns we even had a butcher bird singing on the back fence and that was magic.
Saw &Juliet last night, what a fun show!! It was cute to see some die hard fans there, I imagine the singalong show they did last week would have been hilarious. Probably one of most interactive audiences I've seen at a Melbourne show.
I don’t get the governments decision to block the tpg (Vodafone) and Telstra regional sharing deal. 3 used to roam onto Telstra, it worked great! The governments position was that it’s anti competition. But I mean, even when Vodafone were owned by Vodafone they had 0 interest in expanding the network regionally. It’s never gonna happen. This isn’t gonna inspire tpg to go spend hundreds of millions building out the network in the bush.
Still in bed, snuggled up w a cat on either side all curled up. Veeeerrrryy hard to get out of the warmth. They also double as weighted blankets which really makes me sleepy 😴😴😴
I'm kinda excited because my main PC monitor might be dying and that will force me to buy a new toy. I'd been thinking of buying a big, curved gaming-spec monitor for a while but couldn't justify replacing these 32" and 27" 4k 60Hz ones I bought before I started playing games but the 32" might be dyyyyyying!
I'm pretty frugal with spending money in that if I have something which works, I generally won't 'waste' money replacing it (why I still drive my perfectly functioning but aging 2009 sexy purple car when I'd love something new) but when I do buy something I'll throw a bunch of money at it to buy top tier stuff.
I'll have to do a bunch of troubleshooting before I go breaking out the cash, to figure out if the monitor is dying or if it's just a stupid cable or potentially even my fairly new graphics card but still.. potential new toy wooo!
I've got complicated feelings about 6, it's one of my favorite RPGs ever, and since it's always seemingly in the shadow of FF7 in some ways a full 3D version would give it the attention it deserves.
However it's absolutely not a story that needs a "remake". Everything from the character designs (kefka is brilliant) to the scenes cough opera cough and subplots are near perfect, they would just benefit from getting a full glow up. (I do love ATB but using the recent battle systems from Remake would likely be very fun... I can just imagine fighting Atma Weapon would be awesome)
Do I trust current square to do this though? Nope. Not at all.
Car dropped off for replacement of suspension and mounts. Will the price be what was quoted, or will the find something else massively wrong...find out later on I Have No Money to Pay For This.
Saw an article over on [email protected], which suggested the possibility of cash going extinct. I hope that we at least have some low cost/free method of dealing with it that doesn't have processing fees and surcharges if that's the case.
Related to the minor gripe of the day: went to a cafe in the city that didn't take cash, but also had a 5-10% card surcharge. Isn't that just a markup pretending to not be a markup at that point?}
For an interesting fact of the day, discovered a song on Spotify that seems to rehash Billy Joel's "Uptown Girl", but with a different lyrics, in a different language, claiming to be an original song, which is interesting.