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Daily Thread: Wednesday rhymes with… (21 June 2023)

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  • Cool and frustrating trans stories for this pride month. So today I volunteered to help make care packages for older trans and gender diverse people, which was a good way to spend a morning. There's a job fair Transgender Victoria are facilitating tomorrow where I think 13 employers are directly seeking trans and gender diverse staff. It's not a huge number but it's a greatly heartwarming thing regardless.

    I was going to wax lyrical about my bank and insurer being super trans positive until I got their email stating they could only reflect my gender as male or female. The super friendly person had mistakenly identified me as non-binary and therefore they couldn't change my gender in their system. I can't reply to that email either as it's unmonitored. Duh, I'm female, not non-binary, dumb dumb. I tried phoning them again now but after five minutes the line dropped. Seems like a simple clerical error but it leaves all non binary completely non-represented and that's not good enough, They've been trained but maybe not that well, still and all at least they use my preferred name and don't treat me any differently but when someone says they're transgender it usually means they're transgender, not non-binary necessarily. A lot of non binary people don't identify as being transgender and don't identify as either male or female. I should add they really went the extra mile to help up until now and are trying to be better. Just when the insurance lady and I had had a great conversation about inclusion I feel kind of deflated now. Two steps forward, one step back.

    I also just read the elon musk has now stated cis and cisgender are slurs on twitter. I'll take all the good and feel good rather than dwelling on the bad of course, but its a reminder of how far we have to go. Cis is used as a slur by trans people sometimes for sure but not by everyone and not by cis people who are happy to be identified as such.

    • I personally don't like to ID as trans because I often think you're transitioning from one gender to the other, I don't see nonbinary as a gender. But for cishet society at large, it's much easier to explain your trans, and I mean nonbinary does fall under the category of transgender. So I often will say trans binary and nonbinary people so that it can be included in the trans or it can not be.

      Also I wish people who didn't learn a thing or two in English class understood what the word trans and cis as prefixes mean. A word's a slur once the majority use it in a negative light. Trans people take up like 0.01% of the population. So miniscule.

      • Thanks so much for that.

        Exactly my understanding of it. We were talking about it today. Non binary people are not always in some kind of transition. I know some who are but still identify as non binary. I can't understand what it would feel like to be non binary, as I am binary. I am defined as transgender, but i'm taking oestrogen and blocking testosterone to transition to my correct biological gender, grow and shrink, have accurate female emotions be more in touch with my intuition among the myriad effects I am feeling. It takes time so it is a transition. I now present as female feeling more comfortable in myself than I ever did trying to be a man, which i am not. I am a woman. That's what I am. That people name it transgender is really a misnomer, my motivations and desires have always been far more aligned with being female and its been that way since I can remember. I'm correcting my gender more accurately. We all face some the same discriminations though however today its become apparent how much more difficult is it to be non binary. People can simplify things with words like sex change but they don't want to understand that some people cannot be male or female or name their gender anything. Its simple for a bank to change my name, gender and title.

        I think gender diverse would be a better catch all for people who aren't the gender they were assigned at birth or for those who have no gender at all.

        • It sucks for everyone all 'round tbh. Trans women are being misgendered and you know the whole predator b.s. Trans men are called closeted lesbians or invisble. Nonbinary folks are also invisible or within ally™️ spaces they're seen as women lite if you're AFAB and if you're AMAB well... sucks to be you I guess.

          • yep, hard truths here. I can deal with a lot of crap because I'm being truthful but allies? Hmmm.

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