I reckon yes - it looks like it would be an incredible thing to do. Who knows, it could be the start of a great tradition!

Big scalp too given England having won the last WC, right? Good on them!

God, isn't that the truth though - we've had this trip booked since, I think May? But also in a way this trip is a bit of a signpost since I know when I get back (even though it's the end of the year) there's a few hard truths I need to think about and act upon. There's the smallest dust mote inside trying to tell me that there's a massive possibility that the path before me, whichever I choose, will be really good. I gotta find that little dude a megaphone so he can shout it a little louder for the people in the back.

Thank you - I definitely need the time off, I know that much. As does Mrs J. I wanna turn this mood around for her if nothing else :)

About to go on holidays, and the longest time away from work for quite some time and man, I gotta tell you, I'm feeling down af. I don't know why. Hoping that when I finally get away that it'll change my mood.

While not entirely healthy (in fact quite the opposite), I went through a phase about ... seven years ago now, where, even though I had a job, wife, house, etc., I wanted out. And it was either one way into the infinite beyond, or severing all ties and volunteering somewhere like South America and building houses for the poor or something. I sought help and obviously did neither - but yeah, there's something really satisfying about the idea of going living for other people in a voluntary perspective. Having just enough to put food in your stomach and have a roof over your head, but otherwise live with experience alone.

I'm rooting for you, I truly am. You're a great individual and deserve a lot in this life, and the fact that you're even willing to explore the idea of offering part of your life to help others speaks to that. So here's hoping that the path before you clears and you've able to work towards finding that love once again :)

Maybe. I think from memory they've used the same vein for the last few appointments and I'm wondering whether that's part of it too. But I have also been pretty stressed/burnt out so that could be it as well.

My wife is the same about being phobic towards needles. She'd love to give blood but needles are just something she can't handle. Sounds like though you've been able to at least get to a point where you've donated before, albeit with a bit of trouble?

Anyone else here given blood and not been able to fill the bag? I gave blood and followed the normal procedures (like drinking all of the water, having snacks beforehand etc.,) and yet I couldn’t completely fill the bag. It got close but the flow pretty much dwindled down to drops. Normally my body freely gives blood but this time around it was like “nah bruv, that’s as much as I’m willing to part with”.

stem from a sense of bring unfulfilled, either with challenge and/or purpose

Ooooof. this hits hard! I'm definitely in this category. I'm also aware though that it would take a LOT for me to feel fulfilled in my line of work. Both this holiday and the coming Christmas period is going to be spent having some very hard conversations with myself about what I do next. That said, it would be nice if my work supported me in some way/shape/form in training and evolving my professional output in the way I want it to but that won't happen.

In your world though what kind of fulfilment do you think would result in overcoming this feeling?

Rocking an old hockey jersey, sleeves rolled up. Core is nice and cozy, and the arms are free to do what they want. Definitely feeling it.

Definitely - we have some time off coming up and it cannot come sooner, if nothing else other than to lock the door on that part of my mind, since I know this feeling only hits during work hours (thanks to a healthy dose of a decent work life balance that I've fought hard for). Plus, closing the laptop lid tonight will feel very sweet knowing the weekend is upon us.

Torn between that feeling of complete apathy to the work I do, and a burning passion to protect the area of knowledge and ability that I've carved out for myself.

Like, on the on hand: couldn't give melted diarrhoea in a plastic cup, as much as the work gives me the bum squirts due to stress. But on the other hand: I will ball my fist around a roll of dollar coins and smack a bish who steps on my plot.

Huh, the more you know! I worked with a guy who got necrosis from a white tail - but he was definitely a candidate for pre-diabetes so that could explain it. And look, it wasn't that bad, maybe like a pinky nail-sized hole? But still, I can deal with a lot of things. Spiders, nope. Not a fan of something so small being able to damage me like that.

I've been in those situations before - people you used to hang with and now you've drifted so far apart that they're... no longer friends but also not strangers? And yea, confused is definitely the vibe. A melancholic confusion - there's something that's lost, through no one's real fault, but it's nevertheless gone. What once was is no more.

That's awesome that you get so many on your balcony. And thank you, I'd love the little visit! I didn't check my rosemary as it's around the other side of the house, but I should have. Maybe they were all having a roast party or something and that's where mine were?

A friend who I hadn't seen for ages asked me recently what my music taste was like now and I answered with "It's easier to say I'm not into something (Country, mumble rap and most R&B) than pin down a genre." Which is true - Spotify at the end of every year spews out its stats and somehow I managed to listen to a shit ton of different genres.

BUT! The recent Spotify DJ guy, as well as the daylist thing really has hit home how much prog metal I still listen to.

Oh nice! Maybe I need to plant even more bee-friendly stuff.

Fingers crossed the earlier dose works tonight. I took one last night a lot earlier than I normally do and it completely knocked me out cold. The only thing that hurt was the alarm smacking me straight out of a dream when it went off this morning.

And yes - get you some natural vitamin D! Do it!!! DOOO ITT!!

Whitetails and necrosis is something that worries the hell out of me. I don't care that they're not deadly - I don't want no flesh-eating spidey bite to remind me some little fucker was able to invade me like that!

I know you're not looking for medical advice so I'll just say, hopefully you've managed to use antiseptic on the area and given it a good clean (or three). That and ibuprofen might help with the swelling.

I went outside into my garden and looked at all my lavender (it has self-set everywhere, as a "weed" is wanton to do, and I've dug it up and planted it in some form of order) - there's plenty of flowers and yet not a bee to be seen. It was really fucking depressing.