Obviously fake and gay as fuck.
However, there's a lot of men that have never felt safe enough to do that with anyone. As we need it, badly, sometimes.
I cried the first time a gf was nice to me regularly.
I had some fucked up relationships. I'm doing good now though.
Feeling lonely sucks, but man, whenever I'm listening to some people talk about past relationships they've been in, I end up feeling happy it hasn't happened yet.
I blame my parents. They have such an amazing mutually respectful, supportive and loving marriage that it has set an impossible standard for me to realize.
I wish media depicted more healthy relationships.
Half of people don't seem to even have an idea of what mundane everyday loving behaviour actually looks like. And the other half does know, but fetishise unhealthy bullshit. (TBH I do too, but I want to engage in it playfully, not full on I will now proceed to straight up destroy you emotionally that I've run into with some people. )
Maaaaate same. There was this one girl I dated whom Iâve told I just donât feel like doing what she felt like doing that night and she said âAlright, we can just watch some more eps of <show we were watching>â and I broke down right there and then.
I ended up forcing my own options on her which isnât healthy in itself but we could and can talk about this and itâs so weird.
I'm glad you've found some change. And I'm glad you have had someone give you that comfort.
Can confirm, lived my life as a guy 20yrs online, 30irl. Almost cried the first time someone held me. Wasn't even romantic, just platonic. I swear half of the world's problems would be solved if people were more accepting of men sharing physical affection.
Ain't that the damn truth.
I've always been lucky to have partners and friends that were awesome about physical comfort and affection. But there's been times they weren't available, and it's the worst damn feeling to need that damn hug when you're falling apart, and not having it.
It's why I'll never, ever turn my back on someone needing it, even if I don't like them. Some things are just too damn important to hold back.
Honestly, it's the only thing I miss as middle aged single dad not dating. Someone to rub my hair while I cry in their lap. Nobody's taken care of me in decades. I've got a lot to cry about. Kinda sucks. Anyway... Back to manning up and working to exhaustion another few decades.
and gay as fuck.
What why? And you have something against gay?
Yeah, you're missing the meme of it all.
While it may seem counterintuitive, the 4chan meme of any post being gay helps. If everything is gay, there's nothing wrong with gay at all. Besides, have you got any close friends under about 30? The entire usage of gay as an insult has essentially disappeared because it's been reclaimed by young gay folks. They've successfully taken it and made it a positive thing.
Back maybe ten, fifteen years ago, what were then gay kids started using it in an ironic way. They'd be gaming or whatever, and someone would do something cool, and another would say, that's great, but you're totally gay. Back and forth like that.
Having grown up in an era where it was commonly an insult to be called gay, then seeing gay people gain access to their rights as fellow citizens, and then take old slurs and strip them of much or all of their power, it's beautiful. There was a time I would have made the same assumption you did. I'd have jumped all over someone saying the same thing.
But now? It's a celebration of gayness. It's saying that everything is gay, and that's fabulous as fuck. Gay isn't just okay, it's a thing we accept as commonplace.
When I use it in the context of greentext, it's recognizing that the assholes of 4chan lost. They didn't get to keep the word and use it as a bad thing. It got taken from the bigots after lifetimes of use as a word of oppression, and that's such a victory that it deserves celebrating by using it in this way.
Seriously, if you get a chance to hang around some younger LGBTQ people, take it. They're the generations raised where being "gay" isn't some horrible secret, it isn't a doom of shame that you have to hide at all times. You sit around, or go shooting with, or whatever, and these folks are just casual about it. Hell, I've run into groups that are using fĂg the same way here and there. Not as common for sure, but it happens.
Obviously, if the context is such that it's being used as a slur, or even just derogatorily, the person doing so is an asshole. But that's the key, they aren't the ones with the power over the word now! The assholes and bigots are the ones that are treated with contempt and derision when they use the word. It really is fucking glorious, beautiful to see.
Man, I used to bounce at a drag club. I had to literally fight to keep the patrons safe from direct physical attack. Seeing the word gay become a term of endearment? I can't describe how happy that makes me. I hear my kid's gay friends laughing and throwing it around at school, openly and nobody bats an eye because the power of it too be used as a weapon is finally gone. It fills me with joy to have lived long enough to see it happen. I'm typing this and crying thinking about it.
They're gay, I'm gay, you're gay, everyone is gay, and it's fucking amazing :)
I lost a partner doing that. Like flipping a switch, any interest in me was gone. Was struggling with depression, we knew eachother for a very long time, even dated in the past. Oh well.
Patriarchy seeps into women too
Yeah patriarchy is a system and it poisons us all. Never stop being open to being vulnerable. It's just unfortunate that some view it as weakness.
I wouldn't call it that. In the end, you aren't responsible for what you like or dislike. And once you find someones "ick" that you can't deal with, it's hard to get over it. I have a bunch of those - racism, unwilingness to learn, regular smoking. Theirs was just "man crying". Also, there is crying and then there is holding in emotions and exploding. Sadly, I'm guilty of the latter. I don't really blame them, rather I feel disappointed more than anything.
It's happened to me twice. Shit sucks. I guess you could say if they lose interest for crying in front of them they're not good for you but I don't exactly have women lining up to date me. If I'd known ahead of time I'd have kept my emotions to myself.
Masking to keep a relationship is not worth it. It makes you miserable and eventually you lose sight of who you are and just become the person you think others want you to be and feel empty inside. Or worse, it leads to self hatred and you end up lashing out at people.
Source: helping my partners overcome both sides of this....
Yeah, but that'd be living a lie and hiding your emotions. Which is less healthy than being single. Meeting someone that likes you is something that can be done conciously rather easily with the right steps - but it does require a strong will, a lot of human interaction and a bunch of time. It also requires investing in yourself - living healthy, happy and mindful.
Fucking same, had just lost a mother figure my grand mother who I grow up with, never dealt with loss and had other things come into my life that exacerbated the situation. Anyway my ex split with me.
Sucked as I was there throughout her losses. Silver lining she was an enabler who had me drinking more, not working out. and now I am healthier inside and out, taken on therapy which has allowed me to face my demons.
Quote from my ex: "I like you more when you drank."
My exwife of 18 years dumped me when I went into a period of depression, fueled by the death of my father and a business failure. As soon as I ceased to be the rock, I became value less.
I had been there for her for two serious bouts of depression.
I have heard of similar things from friends. Men are not allowed to show weakness. Remember men were not supposed to cry until recently.
Wish me luck. My grandmother died last year. Lived with her for more years than i didnt. Spent the last 10 years watching her slip into the madness of dementia and alzhemiers not knowing what the hell im doing while her retired children enjoyed their retirement largely being absent. I had my younger brother with me thankfully, but we didnt know what the hell we were doing but we did our best.
My uncles put the house up for sale as quick as they could and forced us to move out inside a couple of months while we both had significant events at work that was causing us both to work overtime daily, and i work 6 days a week most weeks. I make 27 dollars now an hour, dont get paid overtime.
Therea tons of other things as well, but the closest thing to a father ive ever had threw me and my brother away after leaving the care of their own mother in our completely untrained hands for over a decade.
I understand blood feuds in a way i never thought possible on such a personal level
Good on you. Into the gym for health
Sorry, that honestly really sucks of them.
Allowing oneself to be vulnerable is one of the greater signs of trust I can think of.
Whenever someone in my life opens up or shows vulnerability, I'm mostly honored that they trusted me enough.
Especially someone you've known a while.I hope you find someone in life where you can be open without strict roles and expectations.
LOL
I cried the other day, and my wife laughed at me as the tears rolled down my face.
Of course, I was waking up from a colonoscopy and crying about the fact that McDonald's doesn't serve Big Macs at 9:30am.
Huh, interesting that Australian McDonald's has you beat in this regard. We have an "all day menu" where you can get big Mac, cheeseburger and chicken burger any time of day, and an "extended breakfast" menu where you can get Bacon & Egg McMuffin, Sausage & Egg McMuffin, Chicken McMuffin and Sausage McMuffin any time of day.
Green text, but men's health is a disaster and this has been me in the past before therapy and meds.
To be fair though I have several lifelong comorbid depression and anxiety disorders that I didn't get treated until I was 30. No 7 year old should have to be be suicidal.
I wonder how many other men are similar but never get treatment? Too many.
Yeah I know typically we're all here for a laugh, but I genuinely can't bring myself to make light of stuff like this.
There are millions of men in the world whose lives would likely be revolutionised if they had someone they felt this secure and safe with.
But our modern society doesn't reward (and in most cases, actively punishes) emotional vulnerability in men, so instead many of us either lean into toxic masculinity or drown in our depression. Sometimes both.
I'm fortunate enough that I do in fact have someone in my life who I could be this vulnerable with, should I be so inclined, but I also acutely remember the days when this was exactly what I craved in life and thought I would never have, and the suffocating feeling of isolation as a result.
I hope things change.
Emotional vulnerability comes later in a relationship. These people arent failing to get in a relationship due to no emotional vulnerability it's because they are socially stunted with obscure hobbies and humor that's incredibly jarring to most people.
Yeah I was fwb with a guy for a couple of years and it was very clear that one of the benefits he enjoyed most was using me as an unpaid therapist.
I'm not saying this to complain, I'm saying that a lot of men only seem to be comfortable talking about emotions with someone they're having sex with.
Therapy would honestly do me good, I need somewhere to talk to where the recipient would keep it at least anonymous away from people I know and give me advice that they are literally trained to do
Fake: Anon is in a loving relationship. Gay: Anon never states that they are a woman.
Anon never stated that they were female...
The man living the dream
This is why you should always ugly cry on the first date, to establish whether they're gf material.
I hope the replies to this were just as comforting and wholesome as the post itself.
checks website
I have bad news for you man
Fake and gay
I never really connected past a surface level relationship, the blame is on me, I had both men and women who took interest in me but I never followed it up with interest in them, neither did I attempt to interact with them
I probably should've, taken a day and went to a small restaurant to talk and chill, would've been very possible and easy too. Istanbul has great metro tram and bus routes.
Honestly, if you're in a similar situation as I am, just give it a shot
Ä°nvite a friend over to eat at a fast food place, if you're talking to a person of your interest then take a small risk and try to put events together with them
Put color into your life, try to live less safe be more risky, even if you fuck something up so bad as to cause a break in a relationship it would only be something you would regret for a year rather than a lifetime
Wall of text so that I give myself a life lesson
On another note, maybe this is why it's good to have a journal and write about stuff.
TL:DR take risks, break off from single tone life, make closer bonds with small strides even with risk involved
I don't get it, where's the fake and gay?
Fake: there are no girls on the internet
Gay: anon has a boyfriend
Wholesome.
What they forgot to ask was if he was crying because he is there against his will? This is 4chan, after all.
Wholesome
:'>
Wait, woman on 4chan? Impossible.
Gay until proven otherwise, and there's no reason to believe this is straight.
Right, I forgot
giwtwm (the woman or the man, either one)
Also is that pic from Ane Naru Mono? Good taste
