Learned a trade that I love as a career (industrial electrician), fell in love with my boyfriend, bought and renovated a home from 1890 together, plan to get married eventually!
Surprisingly (to me), having a child. I never wanted kids. Never even babysat, didn't like them-- hated how silly, loud, and disgusting they are. Then I got pregnant by accident. I was terrified. I was abused as a child and have a bad temper, so I was afraid I would lose it and hurt my kid. Pregnancy was difficult, labor and delivery moreso, but the instant he popped out ... I cannot describe to you the transformation. I am sure it is purely hormonal; pitocin is a helluva drug. My husband even said, "Who are you and what have you done with my wife?" It was akin to a lobotomy. Suddenly I adored babies and wanted to hold them and coo at them. I became more mellow and patient, went from the sort of conservative mindset that thinks "get a job," to the theretofore incomprehensible liberal views like "most in jail aren't really to blame for the circumstances they find themselves in, let's help them instead of punish them."
My son is by far the biggest blessing in my life. He is a companion that I never grow tired of, a wise sounding board, and a balm to my old age. I am literally a kinder, better person because I had him.
It allowed me to actually sort through all of my mental health problems and confront myself on who I was and who I wanted to be
Not to mention how much my physical health has improved
It was honestly the hardest thing I've done as well given that I started drinking when I was 12.
I've been sober now for 6 years
Edit: In 6 years it will go from "the longest I've been sober since I started drinking" to "The longest stretch of time I've been sober in my whole life"
Absolutely meeting my husband. Joining the military absolutely laid the groundwork for breaking out of my conservative/republican ideology, but it was truly the work my husband put into me to pull me in Progressive thinking. I tell him all the time how he's made me into a MUCH better human being.
My best thing happened unexpectedly on March 15, 1973. (Probably makes me the oldest person in the room.) My high school guidance counselor died in his sleep. Bummer for him, but lucky for me. Back in the ’60s, my school system had me pegged as a gifted student, which was a one-size fits all label. That tag followed me to high school, where as a green sophomore, I was assigned the "gifted" guidance counselor, Mr. Daly.
Daly was also a history teacher, and greatly loved and admired. He was a retired USMC Vietnam vet, and suffered from Marfan syndrome, giving him a strange and imposing appearance. He was a force of nature, that guy.
I was 15 when we first met, and I had no idea about what I would do with my life. Because of my label, Daly had it all figured out. In his mind I was on my way to become a doctor, lawyer, CEO, etc. Yeah — no thanks. I had no goals, only passions — Photography and Design. I wanted to enroll in my school's tech classes and follow my interests. Daly squashed that idea. Wasn't going to happen. I was heartbroken. As a kid of 15 I had no leverage, and didn't know how I could get what I wanted. My parents were no help; "He probably knows best" was the best they could do.
A few weeks later, when I came to school on the 16th of March, word was that Mr. Daly had died the previous night. While the school was in mourning, I was a pretty happy kid. My new counselor had no objections to me taking the photo and design track. :: After high school, university and some preliminary jobs, I started my own marketing communications business (then called freelancing, today gig work) and continued for 30+ years by myself. Of course the work had its ups and downs, but I was happy and always employed. :: Now I'm 66 and retired, and I always wonder what my life would be like if Mr. Daly had lived and imposed his vision on my life. Guess I got lucky. :: Rest in peace, Mr. D.
By luck: meeting my husband online in a random forum. Self explanatory.
By choice: getting top surgery (a double mastectomy). What a literal and figurative weight off my chest! Being able to just walk outside without wrestling into a binder or being worried about if people noticed my chest was such a game changer. You don’t realize what a gift it is to be able to get up and go outside on a whim until you can’t do it.
Met my partner who shares the same mental disorder, the only person I know who could teach me to cope and become a functional adult when I had almost lost all hope.
I got a steam deck recently. I can't decide if this is one of the best or one of the worst decisions I've ever made. I love it to death and I've been playing stuff with retrodeck almost non-stop since I got it, however, I've been playing stuff with retrodeck almost non-stop since I got it.
My life is one lucky decision after another and I couldn't be happier with where I ended up. Fucked off in high school but somehow got into college (jk, I know how I got in ($$)), dropped out, fucked around, went to school for my current field literally to buy time, fucked around but got out, fucked around at work and decided to join the service. Fucking around was frowned upon so I finally turned it around. Came out, got better at civilian job, lived with friends from the service for one year in a town that happened to be like 25 miles from where my future wife was just finishing school, and so our dating profile search rings matched up for all of a couple months.
Bought a house months after meeting my future wife and it was she either moves home and we go long distance or she sticks around and figures out a rooming situation with her then roommates. That was a decade ago, and two kids, and I live on a block with seven or eight other young families in a walkable neighborhood, my kids will walk to school when they're older, ride their bikes around, we hang out and socialize regularly with neighbors. And it's all because I fucked around in high school.
My daughter. Although she has a lot of issues and it has been a very hard road, she has made me a better person and a less angry person. She is definitely by far the best thing that ever happened to me. My biggest fear is outliving her.
I was incredibly lucky and met a Korean in school, so I was able to get all the info I needed about what to expect. I've been here 3 years now, sure I miss my family and friends but I've been granted a new life.
To anyone who thinks their life sucks: move. Everyone has an excuse, but at the end of the day you'll either stay where you are until you die, or you'll go somewhere new.
Bought a house for $18,000 during the mid 90's in a run down neighborhood. Now the neighborhood is the most desirable in an urban city. After the 2007 real estate crash I was able to move to suburbs and I rent out my original house. It was more luck than anything plus a willingness to live in a rough part of town. I'm always playing a game in my head now. What neighborhood is next?
Love finding me. I'm not particularly feely and didn't have examples of loving couples growing up. Did not see that coming, wasn't on the horizon at all. Got lucky.
Being diagnosed with extreme MTHFR, getting on a high dose of methylfolate and the correct meds.
Went from having daily, very heavy brain fog to zero. Thought for years I was just lazy and stupid. Doing simple things left me more mentally exhausted than others, and I just thought everyone felt like I did, but were better at pushing through it.
Turns out, not lazy or stupid at all.
Went back to school, got my AA and into a field desperate to hire. Doubled my salary.
I got engaged early last year, planned our wedding toward the end of the year. In between, I got a new job with salary more than twice of my previous job.
Now I am happily married, and after a raise my current salary is almost triple my previous job. I'm still trying to convince my former colleagues (just the cool ones) to also find new jobs.
Meeting my fiance by miles. It isn't even a contest.
A distant second, which is still miles above anything else below it on the list, is buying a good house in a cheap (bad) neighborhood at 3.1% interest 30 yr fixed.
Using the trade skills I acquired to pay for a computer science degree, which has secured me the best job I've ever had. Going to college later in life was absolutely a game changer.
I love this question, super interesting to think about. I feel very lucky that it's hard for me to pick one, between meeting my fiancée (she makes my life better in every way), getting on adhd meds (a lot more things about life make sense now), or getting my job (since it's made me grow into a completely different, more capable person). Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the negative thoughts, so thank you.
If you don't mind sharing, what about moving out has helped you? I'm sure there's as many different ways as there are people who would answer similarly, increased independence, escaping the power imbalance, having to grow as an adult, and so on
I killed myself. Or rather, I tried to kill myself. I mean, I did kill myself, but then I was still alive, in a new universe. My memories from the previous universe survived when I woke up here.
It made me realize that I literally cannot escape. Even through death.
That has given me a sort of “burned my ships” commitment to life that has made me truly alive. I also realized that all other humans are also trapped in a quantum immortality situation that will last for eternity as far as I can tell, so my level of caring and compassion for others has also increased.
I know it sounds totally fucked, but by realizing that I literally cannot die, it made me realize how important every moment is. Because every choice is a seed of eternity. The value of doing things right just went infinite for me, and I’ve never been happier, more productive, more generous, more committed to doing things right.
Well, I can’t kill myself until my cat dies because he doesn’t like other people and I don’t want him to have a sad life. Some people would consider that a good thing.
I stayed at a community college instead of going to the shit 4 year universities that accepted me. Saved me time and gave me more opportunities to grow and meet new friends