You can choose a super power, but the first person to reply can name a side effect.

Side effect: your voice cracks in an absurd way every time you use this power. Both parties find it too funny to continue fighting. They instead laugh at you.

It only works when your eyes are closed.

What's funny is that the most obvious side effect to this is the most realistic: molecular manipulation in this way causes an incredible build-up of energy that either expresses as kinetic or thermal, depending, and almost always exponentially explosive from the moment you turn time back "on"... to say nothing of the disastrous effects at the fringes for such time-stop powers...

tl;dr: The Flash would've incinerated the entire planet long before he discovered how to keep from glassing it simply by practicing his powers.

Air particles also frozen

Wherever you leave from instantly goes to war.

They (the place ) can no longer stand you and you can never stay in a single place for more than a day.

All of the violence and hatred that would have been present around you gets redirected somewhere else in the world. The more discord there was in a place before you arrived, the harder the redirection hits its new location. You occupy a bubble of peace but outside of it things get even worse. You always hear about this and see the consequences of it but you are never able to directly observe it because whenever you try, the discord gets redirected somewhere else.

Now you can also speak and translate the languages of the trees and the rocks and the inanimate objects all around you and you have no way to get them to shut up.

You were born without fingertips and can't do biometric scanning. No one will give you a passport.

Only while asleep

But you make all people in your vicinity happy, too.

You make everyone around you miserable

*For others

But only when you are naked. Otherwise you'll be miserable. Sorry this got kinky real quick

But only at the expense of others...

Swallowing pills is extremely difficult, and can only be roughed down with a semi chicken dance shuffle that involves hopping and takes 4 minutes too long for anyone noticing.

Viagra no longer works. You can no longer get high off any opiod, just the painkilling effects. Cortisone no longer treats skin conditions. Breast cancer meds, HIV retrovirals, rogaine, most antidepressants, and you'd better stay tf away from blood thinners and valium

You get type 1 diabetes

You have 10x the tolerance and nobody believes your immunity claims.

But Everyone loves you. Oh... wait....

You keep accidentally making random people's heads explode.

I'd rather be able to kill a yak from 200 yards away

But only through the power of fucking teeeamworrrk

It's all rotten.

It manifests as a storm cloud, raining the food down over a large area over a short period of time.

Having this ability will cause you to lose self-control and become morbidly obese.

you are extra susceptible to suggestion, don't turn off your adblocker ;)

Or you get zaped back in time to the 18th hundreds

You now also know absolutely nothing about tech

Side effect: you have a vision of the first move they'd make after taking your mom/dad on a date

First commentor missed the Cassandra side effect: you can do nothing to change it and no one believes you.

You can see a person's next move at the expense of generating negative causality, wherein large objects are attracted to you at high speed. See the man unwrapping a sandwich? Boom, hit by a bus/piano/anvil/whale.

Side effect: you're never prepared for the move they will be making next.

You can only do it with extreme violence

They transfer to you

Side effect: you have a premonition of exactly what their bowel movement will smell like as a result of whatever they eat due to their hunger

When using your power you get uncontrollable diarrhea

Side effect: you still age at your regular rate.

You already do, just a very tiny amount.

But you can only change the light after you’ve gone through it

You're the only one who is able to see the changes.

Edit: I decided that a superpower which only alters your perception is not really a superpower, so let me improve it: All drivers who have the same eye color as you will be able to see the changed colors. Other drivers will see the original colors. Enjoy!

Exactly. Whatever side-effect is cast upon you, you THINK it was chosen by you. You're 100% sure it was your decision. You're blissfully but unfortunately erroneously way too self-confident.

I have a big dick.

Potassium Benzoate

The ghost doctors read "srs" as "serious" and just give me a mild glare

The ghost doctors have bad eyesight and mistake you for everyone else.

Anytime you use this power, immediately afterwards you feel everyone in a half mile radius's feelings at 200% intensity at the same time.

But it hurts like hell and you are in pain the entire time you shapeshift

You get testicular cancer

Every time your past self reads one of your messages they loose lose the ability to read one word forever.

Granted. Unfortunately, it only works when you send yourself hate mail.

Granted. Your past self now has the ability to send messages to you!

You never get to use the power for your own enjoyment because people will never leave you alone…you will constantly assaulted with questions because everyone knows you have the answers. You have no peace.

You become completely physically disabled, almost a complete vegetative state, and can't physically do any of it.

You're blind while you're invisible (which is by the way what would actually happen if you had a magical way to turn invisible).

But you stink like a skunk every time you turn invisible.

The summoning makes you feel nauseous

But it'll always appear on the opposite side of earth

Side effect: there’s a 50/50 chance a save slot becomes corrupted.

The object nearest you is also teleported to the same location as you but 1 meter above your head. It could still work in your favor if the object nearest you is a hat!

Everything in the whole universe also moves 1m forwards at the same time

Forwards is relative to the direction the Earth is traveling around the sun.

Your clothes and anything you are carrying don't teleport with you

You age proportionally to the plant until the effect is done.

i.e. make a plant that takes 10 days to grow to maturity grow in the span of 2 days, you age 10 days in those 2 days

Excess consumption of nutrients rapidly depletes the soil causing biome collapse

But you'll wake up the next day in a someoneelse's body somewhere else on earth knowing nothing of your new bodys past experience language or anything. You can only remember your past life experience. This might not be as bad as I sounds actually. Could be interesting.

In order to manipulate objects with telekinesis, you sever the link between the object and the earths gravitational pull.

Every object you use your power on now has the ability to drift and float away if not strapped down.

This includes, but is not limited to: people, animals, and buildings.

Side effect: you have a 25% chance of your pants and underwear being affected instead of your desired target.

Granted. You also have prostate cancer.

Only one at a time. Every time you travel the universe shoots away from you at millions of miles an hour.

I think I'll add my own:

You teleport in 1cm units relative to the center of our galaxy, meaning you have to think of xyz of each teleportation and you if you miss caclulate enjoy being dead and in space.

Time is in epoch ms and leaves you in the same spot relative to the center of the galaxy.

Into any mineral