Serious answer: the Viking settlers named the land "Vinland" long before Columbus was even born. That name is of Germanic origin, same as the English language, and would be appropriate for settlers of Germanic origin (England, Germany, etc.)
Alternatively, a name in the Native American language would be most appropriate given that they were the original inhabitants of the land.
"All hail the ing of ing! The land without a KKKing!"
Greenland... ing
Japaning
Australiaing
Taiwaning
Uniteding Kingingdoming
Congoing
...and Chinaahhuh... ...was once a great, uhh, eM, -ing but they lost their way to our holey grate ing-dumb...
- "ing out" "Now gather all ing suffixes and affixes to kiss the holy kock ring. Don't be shyyy."
Except Transjordan isn't biblical. It's the region of Palestine that became The Kingdom of Jordan. As opposed to Cisjordan, which is the region that became Israel and the present Palestine.
But I don't think we're allowed to say cis anymore. /s
I know, but when I Googled to confirm the name of the country in Handmaid's Tale, I noticed the real Gilead was in Transjordan, saw a joke opportunity sitting there, and that was the smoothest I could work it in. I'm open to workshopping it.
Donald Trump’s Best, Biggest Country in the World, the Biggest, Juiciest Country there is, you know it, folks, No Illegals Allowed, No Fentanyl, All the Guns! And Covfefe!
There's actually debate over whether America was actually named after Amerigo Vespucci. My understanding is that it was likely just a coincidence that his name is so similar to America. As I understand it, it was actually named after a tribe of native Americans. But native Americans don't pass the Republican scale of whiteness, so they'll probably try to rename America anyways. I'm calling it now: they're going to rename it to Trumpia
Listen. I know you said no wrong answers but unfortunately due to the past few decades of the American Political system, pretty much anything is now effectively accurate. Even such things as: