I once worked with that one person. You know the one, heavy enjoyer of cannabis even on the job. He was THE person. No, let me put it into perspective.
The guy would down a full bottle of cannalean 1k nano THC before work and would come in with a massive 500mg candy in his mouth. This kid would impress old Tommy Chong.
The first thing he'd ever tell you is that he ate human flesh. Apparently, him and a buddy were cooking something and his buddy cut the tip of his finger off on the cutting board. He said that they both stared at it for a long time before my coworker asked, "Can I eat that?" If its true, these guys had to have been blasted.
Shame he was fired for sleeping on the job.
Catholics been doing if for a couple of millenia
This Jesus guy must have been pretty fat.
Idk i think that guy was harmed pretty bad
two millenia
Gurantee
Oppertunity
Spelling mistakes getting called out increases engagement. I'm not saying it was done on purpose in this instance, but in general it does make sense that you'll see more posts with spelling mistakes because they'll rise to the top. The only winning move is not to play.
Pronounced “Guuuur-RON-tee” like a Cajun car salesman.
Human flesh is said to smell and taste very similar to pork. At least one culture that partook in cannibalism called human meat "long pig" probably because of that. I'm also fairly sure I've heard stories of fire and rescue workers reporting delicious pork-roast smells that turned out absolutely horrifying and put them off pork for a very long time.
It may also be one of the reasons that certain religious texts and cultures forbid the eating of pork. It's probably more to do with how pork spoils quickly in the climates where those religions originated, as well as the risk of roundworms if it isn't cooked properly, but it does also stop the butcher from selling you a pork steak that isn't actually pork, so that's a bonus.
Ugh, I bet the smell of burning wood doesn't help that either. Hickory smoked pig just wouldn't be the same after smelling a person burning alive in their wood frame home.
I was in the basement working on a electronic project sitting in the floor My parents house. Couldn't find my soldering iron holder so I just had a somewhat deep bowl and set it in upside down
Something surprising was on TV and I looked up, subconsciously I reach down to pick up the soldering iron which was upside down of its normal orientation.
I heard a sizzle. It took a good half second for me to realize it was me.
The lead on the iron was sweet when I touched the burned finger in my mouth, the skin had a decidedly porky flavor to it. Not going to lie it was kind of barbecuey...*
Edit: dictation did me dirty
I was distracted by some other students and grabbed a soldering iron in a metal workshop class when I was young.
The results were predictably uncomfortable and now when Im soldering it is impossible to distract me.
It’s the kind of lesson you don’t ever forget.
Origin of “long pig”, copied from this Reddit comment:
I think you might be right. In A St. Johnston's Camping among Cannibals (which the OED quotes in its etymology of the term), he describes how:
The expression "long pig" is not a joke, nor a phrase invented by Europeans, but one frequently used by the Fijians, who looked upon a corpse as ordinary butcher's meat, and call a human body puaka balava, " long pig," in contradistinction to puaka dina, or " real pig."
Which makes it sound like they were just distinguishing between the length of pigs and people.
“For a long time.”
Implying that the allure of pork cannot be denied.
but it does also stop the butcher from selling you a pork steak that isn’t actually pork, so that’s a bonus.
or maybe it's just a translation error haha
Basically had this conversation, and no, I'm fine hearing second-hand descriptions.
There's a reason it's called long pig.
It's named after a wild African boars, which have a much different taste from the pork you're used to
Sure!
But "no one gets harmed" includes me so I better not get addicted or so help me
Hey extrovert, how about you shut up? Silence is nice. We don't constantly need to hear you talking.
Introvert here, don't listen to merc. I like hearing people talk, especially if it's a weird subject that I can actually engage with
I never said that introverts don't like hearing people talk.
Nah, I love my extroverts. They do what I repeatedly fail to do, and help pull me into the conversation and actually get some social interaction rather than sulking quietly in a corner.
Extroverts that know how to pull introverts into social interaction are the best and I have often looked up to them.
ok but isn’t telling an extrovert to talk less the same as telling an introvert to talk more??
like…
Yes, and do you know how often introverts are told to talk more? Do you know how rarely extroverts are told to shut up?
It might be rude to tell an individual extrovert to shut up. But, it definitely isn't rude to remind extroverts as a whole that they don't need to fill every silence with babbling, and to tell them that it certainly isn't a duty of theirs that everyone is thankful that they do.
You will be either in my maelstrom of social interaction or you can leave, I'm partially sorry but I'm nowhere near the steering wheel as soon as I'm in a group of people.
😢
mmmm, prions
Ultra-rare, and not spontaneously caused by eating human flesh. You're more likely to get mad cow disease (also prions) from eating beef.
Aren't prions located in the brain?
They spread everywhere, and cause progressively worse neurological issues as they spread through the brain.
Also, yes.
Also, William Seabrook.
In the 1920s, Seabrook traveled to West Africa and came across a tribe who partook in the eating of human meat. Seabrook wrote about his experience of cannibalism in his travel book Jungle Ways; however, he later admitted that the tribe had not allowed him to join in on the ritualistic cannibalism. Instead, he had obtained samples of human flesh by persuading a medical intern at the Sorbonne University to give him a chunk of human meat from the body of a man who had died in an accident.
...
Seabrook might have eaten human flesh also on another occasion. When his claim of having participating in ritualistic cannibalism turned out wrong (and he hadn't yet dared reveal the Sorbonne story), he was much mocked for it. According to his autobiography, the wealthy socialite Daisy Fellowes invited him to one of her garden parties, stating "I think you deserve to know what human flesh really tastes like". During the party, which was attended by about a dozen guests (some of them well-known), a piece of supposedly human flesh was grilled and eaten with much pomp. He comments that, while he never found out "the real truth" behind this meal, it "looked and tasted exactly" like the human flesh he had eaten before.
I thought the phrase "eat the rich" was figurative, but by the way this gentleman describes the flavor and texture, it doesn't sound too bad.
I love discissing out of pocket hypotheticals, so this is right up my alley.
Another one: If you could have only one modern tool in the post-apocalypse, what it would be?
What are the limits of the tool? And what are the conditions of the post-apocalypse? The easy choice is an e-reader full of instructions and blueprints that would allow the rebuilding of modern technology.
Does 'a large bottle of sleeping pills' count as a tool?
Does the “gurantee” include prions..? 🤨
(If you can guarantee no prions — don't really care about the no one harmed bit, as long as I don't know them or they're on my shitlist —, and it's cooked in some way I enjoy — no fancy gourmet spherified vapour shit, thanks — then yeah, definitely, I'm no vegan or anywhere close, but I'd rather eat human than some other animal who can't consent or have done anything to deserve being murdered and eaten.)
Prions seem to accumulate in the brain and spinal cord. Stay away from those and you’re probably good!
Well that renders a good chunk of the population perfectly safe to eat then!
it says was harmed, not that noone will be harmed
I think I'll pass, then, thanks.
Said this on another comment: eating human meat does not increase your chance of prions. If you eat another human with prions disease, then you get it. But if you don't eat prion-infected meat, you don't get prions.
We eat deer, which also get prions. We also eat cow, which also get prions (mad cow disease, which also infects humans). We avoid getting prions with regulation of those markets. We could do exactly the same in this scenario.
We could do exactly the same in this scenario.
At least we know we can build our cannibal dystopia in a way that's safe for the cannibals.
eating human meat does not increase your chance of prions
Tell that to victims of kuru.
We eat deer
No, I most definitely don't.
which also get prions
I don't think "get" is the right word. We gave them prions when we put them together with sheep with scrapie to see if it could be transmitted to deer. Which it could. And by "we" I mean humans, but specifically the USA, because of course it was the USA. Probably trying to make biological weapons. Well, congratulations, I guess, fantastic success there.
We avoid getting prions with regulation of those markets
No we don't. Capitalism ensures that we get regular outbreaks of human transmitted mad cow disease (which at some point would start spreading from human to human and kill us all, if CWD didn't get us first), and the deer stuff is completely unregulated (and will become even worse with that raving orange lunatic in the white house).
It's a matter of time (probably less than five years, given the collapsing state of the USA) before it starts spreading to humans and becomes an unstoppable pandemic that'll kill us all.
The only reasonable course of action would be to nuke all affect areas until every square centimeter of the ground turns to glass, but we aren't going to do that, because we care more about short term profit and optics than about the inevitable extinction of the human race.
You can make any meat in the lab. Why stop at cow? I want all the tastes.
Imagine celebrities allowing the lab to use their cloned cells to grow "Angelina Jolie's Cultured Thighs" for public consumption or something.
...
Sounds like a Margaret Atwood novel haha
When "eating somebody out" suddenly gets a new meaning.
Vegan gelatin has entered the chat:
Fun fact, extroverts can be socially awkward too (and it makes them sad)
Read "Tender is the flesh" probably the most disturbing fiction book I ever read
"We mix celebrity and animal meats, grown in house through a proprietary culturing process, into curated salami blends," says the BiteLabs website.
And they can sell it?
This chick has "the elastic is worn out on my socks, and I hold my socks up to my upper shins with Razer stubble." Written all over her crazy eyes...
Damn, multiple spelling errors
How do you guarantee that? If it's just a matter of asking consent, that's probably illegal. If the person died from other causes (illness, accidents, old age etc.), I'd question whether it's safe (illness) or palatable (old age) to eat that meat.
Not that I want to link to reddit, but there was a thread from a guy who had to have his foot amputated due to injury. He took it home, prepared it and then ate it. https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/8p5xlj/hi_all_i_am_a_man_who_ate_a_portion_of_his_own/
Cloned meat would satisfy the requirement
Just sign up to be a meat donor like you sign up to be an organ donor. if you were healthy enough to have your organs harvested at death, you were healthy enough to eat (probably idk).
It would probably be enough fitting: If you work in a mortuary, an you have cases of young people that consented to donate their dead body to whatever. I mean they are dead anyway. And they get cremated. So know harm in taking the calf.
Yeah well, I'm only eating people that died by suicide, then.
Anda establish my further dominance on the food chain? Wouldn't you?
it makes sense to misspell it as extr"o" as opposed to intr"o", but its spelled "extravert"
Actually, both spellings are acceptable. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/extrovert
thank you for the correction, TIL
You an' me baby, ain't nothin' but mammals so let's do it like they do on the good cooking channels
Cannibal by Tally Hall type situation (though unlikely, as I am boring and my flesh is probably sub-par quality due to poor health), maybe with me listening to that* while zonked out my gourd sauteing a chunk of my own arm with mixed vegetables. I usually don't cook meat though, so maybe they'd do that bit.
* Also relevant but more of an emo aesthetic, Misery Meat or People Eater by Sodikken
they say it tastes like gamey pork and on that basis, no
I'm not an extrovert but this is unironically one of my litmus tests for friendship.
Ah long pig, yum.
Hmm baby, wanna go out for dinner sometime?
I'm makin' people jerky
