A libertarian is just a conservative that likes weed. You can ask their girlfriends after they pick them up from middle school.
I wouldn't say that actual libertarians are conservatives (I know some in europe), but a lot of conservatives in the us larp as libertarians because that was the original vision of the us freedom fighters and they also on some level think they are libertarians because they think libertarians are smart (because the avrg libertarian is way smarter than the avrg conservative) but your joke still works because conservatives and libertarians are both pedos
Let me guess - that way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes?
i met plenty of people who'd like to fuck clowns and a total of zero who want to fuck libertarians. Clowns 1, Libertarians 0
So many of my friends grew up in libertarian families. I wish their parents had been professional clowns instead of perennially divorced wealth obsessed crypto-nazis.
well clearly they all were cases of virgin births
I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief.
“Bad news, detective. We got a situation.”
“What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?”
“Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.”
The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?”
“Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.”
“Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.”
He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.”
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.”
I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside.
“Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t.
“Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up.
“Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?”
It didn’t seem like they did.
“Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.”
Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing.
I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it.
“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him.
“Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen.
I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!”
He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose.
“All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.”
“Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy.
“Because I was afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.”
I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head.
“Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.”
He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
Amazing
Classic.
Actual argument I had recently with a "libertarian" family member:
Libertarian: "Rent control shouldn't exist! It's wrong for big government to tell property owners and renters what kind of agreements they can enter!"
Me: "What are your thoughts on single family zoning that bans missing-middle housing throughout most of the US?"
Libertarian: "Well that's different! People choosing what kind of rules should apply to where they live is the epitome of freedom!"
Me: "Couldn't that same argument apply to rent control?"
Libertarian: "Wha...you have clearly been brainwashed by the woke mind virus! So sad!"Clearly they are not a libertarian.
The correct reaponse is "The government would need to demonstrate a beyond reasonable need for that ban. Preventing industrial chemical plants from being built near housing, sure, types of housing, get out."
I walked my late teens/early twenties in those shoes. Would not recommend.
Libertarian ideology is logically solid, but it has two minor problems:
- It heavily depends on assumptions that never hold in real life.
- Any other ideology, when confronted with bad outcome predictions of their models, will try to explain why their way actually prevents these bad outcomes. Libertarianism... prefers to explain why these outcomes are actually a good thing.
Except it isn't logically solid, because the premise is that Governing bodies cannot be expected to provide for the general welfare because humans are naturally greedy and selfish, and the solution is that we abolish all social safety nets and instead rely on voluntary charity to solve the problem of poverty...
But what voluntary charity exists if by Libertarian's own logic: Humans are too greedy and selfish to give to the poor even when they're literally mandated to do so?
Milton Friedman, my favourite libertarian, advocated for a negative income tax as the best form of social safety net. It means that the minimum amount of money any person gets is not zero!
He also liked to point out that a lot of other government programs were in fact regressive: paid for in taxes by working class people and providing the benefit to middle class and up. A classic example of that is funding for higher education. It’s pretty darn regressive to pay for higher education with taxes collected from working class people whose children don’t even attend higher education!
He has a lot of other arguments that make a ton of sense. He is against any and all forms of subsidies for large businesses and he is against laws which create and protect monopolies and oligopolies.
The one thing I’m not clear on is how to organize society to protect against future government interference and especially corruption by special interests.
I'm socially libertarian and fiscally communist
That's just an anarchist.
That's the joke.
an anarcho communist to be exact
Anarchism is often called libertarian socialism.
whats a libertarian im not usaian
the word libertarian comes from anarchists (eg. libertarian socialists) however right wing anarchists (anarcho capitalists) have claimed the term, so now a libertarian is a right wing anarchist
Capitalist anarchism doesn't exist. Capitalism is a form of unjust hierarchy (or if you want to stick to the literal meaning of “anarchism”: capitalism is a way to create rulers)
There are capitalist anti-statists, bit being against states isn't sufficient to make you an anarchist for above reasons.
I say co-opt it back to its original leftist roots. I don't mind calling myself a libertarian instead if I'm talking to a right winger who's scared of anarchists and then just say "the socialist kind". It's a conversation starter to introducing a right winger to how one can believe a market free from capitalists (the best kind of free market) is actually not the worst idea ever
American Libertarianism is all about minimizing governmental oversight, regulation, and taxation. Basically people who already "got theirs" and want to pull the ladder up behind them so no one else can. Sovcits are like extremist libertarians.
Watch this short video and realize they are the better half: https://youtu.be/PcllE7fx8-I
They are right wingers that want to be free of government meddling in the form of anti discrimination laws, taxes and drivers licenses. For some reason they also the consider age of consent to be a greater evil that the Pentagon.
They are right wingers that want to be free of government meddling in the form of anti discrimination laws, taxes and drivers licenses. For some reason they also the consider age of consent to be a greater evil that the Pentagon.
Yeah, pedo-nazis.
They want a white ethno state, where they can smoke meth and fuck kids. The whole "age of consent should be abolished to protect children who are essentially considered property of their parents until ages of majority because sometimes parents are really shitty to their kids" isn't a solution to the stated problem. Proper funding, oversight and regulation of social programs such as child and family welfare/protection is significantly better than giving an easily manipulated child the right to consent. The only reason to make age of consent whenever a child can talk should be pretty obvious to anyone with half a brain.And guess what, if you abolished anti-discrmination laws, you'd end up with only WASPs allowed to vote, massively suppressed wages and limited if any social benefits for women or anyone not white.
They claim the be for all of those things, but then they line up behind whatever fascist the Republican party puts in front of them, when push comes to shove.
They're full of shit.
Free market religious fundamentalists.
I wish I had seen this thread earlier to show more people this discussion on private firefighter s.
oh wait my physics teacher last year might be that
Reminder: Ayn Rand died on public assistance.
They're only for freedom to gouge for water at the only source for a hundred miles when they believe they'll be the ones holding the ladle.
In my heart, i am a libertarian.
In my brain, im not stupid enough to believe that the general public is smart enough to make it work.
The eternal problem of "the general public" is that they're a product of their material conditions. They don't emerge from the soil and engage with the world on first principles.
When you grow up in a community that has been heavily privatized and financialized, socially owned and operated community functions have to be developed from the ground up rather than inherited. Any kind of proposed social change will grow out of the body of the system that came before.
Libertarians grow up in countries where it is easier to believe in the end of the world than the end of capitalism.
How do you define libertarian?
Also, are you from the USA?
I'm just not stupid enough to believe the general public gives anywhere near enough of a shit about anyone else than themselves to make it work.
(Actually, I was stupid enough to believe that once. I went through a librarian phase in my 30s.)
If we had more carrots we would need a lot less sticks
sounds like you are stupid enough.
An accurate rejoinder would be "In my brain, I am not stupid enough to believe that the market is an omniscient omnipotent God that makes everything perfect in all places and all times, in the absence of public input. I am not stupid enough to think that individuals and corporations are perfect benevolent actors that can do no wrong, because doing wrong always means making less profits and doing good always means more profits" FTFY
You have to pay toll for the road first
The shoes require a subscription.
You can have a free trial of 20 whole steps!
I remember those innocent days when I considered myself a libertarian. If you aren't part of a marginalized group, and you consider yourself smart and responsible, AND most importantly assume that other libertarians are arguing in good faith with good priorities, some of what they say can seem to make a lot of sense.
But then when you look at the real-world motivations and results, they start to look like people who are down to to smoke weed while licking the same boot as a brown person.
You had me til brown person. Not quite sure what you mean, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that it wasn't meant as bigotry.
The whole libertarian movement smacks of the big brain thinking of entitled people in their 20s, and Joe Rogan's fan club.
It paints with the same broad strokes as communism and like it, fails to acknowledge the real world outcomes: only the ideology matters, and adherence to it. Ignore or prosecute those who don't implement it as intended or under the guiding assumptions.
The brown person thing was me referring to them being "socially liberal," so they would share the same water fountain -- or boot -- as somebody of another race.
That quote refers to the "socially liberal and fiscally conservative" label that they like to use. Because part of the fun is saying that you love everybody and have no hate in your heart, but you definitely don't want to spend any money or enforce any regulations to help people's lives.
Libertarianism - The idea that a just society with fair rules is impossible because of the greed and selishness inherent in human nature. So by embracing this we can abolish all taxes and social safety nets, instead we would solve everyone's problems through voluntary charity work, as after all humans are naturally giving and kind.
Yeah, clown shoes seem appropriate. I can somewhat respect a philosophy that I disagree with by saying "Well, that's certainly a take, can't say I'm on board."
But I cannot if the problem isn't that I disagree, it's that it is self-refuting by its own logic.
Kinda like how Sam Harris' Free Will Denial nonsense is bullshit simply by my own ability to decide for myself that it's bullshit.
What did we do to you :(
Destroyed attempts at American Singlepayer under the blatantly wrong assumption that for-profit companies lead by anonymous billionaires are somehow better at fairly using the ability to decide who lives and who dies than elected officials who have to maintain the support of their constituents to stay in power.
Have dumb ideas
I'd personally rather align more with libertarianism than authoritarianism. But hey, different strokes for different folks.
Don't you understand they're the bad word gang and you don't want to be associated with the gad word gang that I think is bad because it's bad. Now let me ignore this other label that applies to me because I don't want to understand that it's worse bad. /S
Please. Libertarians can always afford WAY more expensive shoes than that
Well, they might look like clown shoes but, I'll have you know, they cost $5,000
Who's the clown now?
In guessing these are clown shoes?
They're probably actually good for your feet as your toes aren't crowded, but I'm no podiatrist.
Probs not. Higher weight, awkward to move in as the geometry affects your walking movements, ...
if thats a problem its easier to wear open shoes
also it must be pretty bad to walk in such long shoes
Libertarians are just republicans who are too afraid of being lumped in with their own so they came up with a different name. Sure you may think it isn’t, but every libertarian politician and leader votes among republican lines. Actions speak louder.
I actually agree with libertarians more often than with communists, because being anti authoritarian is my most inportant value
The great revolution will come when humanity is ready to organize itself, not by force, but by the power of free association.
