Your wake-up juice defines you

What is PSL

No hot chocolate is a gross omission.

I agree. Hot chocolate is the best.
Hot chocolate drinkers

happy and confident

not defined by a list

happy for everyone else that feels represented

I'll murder anyone trying to talk to me before I had my 430ml of strong black tea in the morning. I have two cats and hate dogs. Never been to the UK.

3 cats, australian, black tea 4 lyfe
- So at least the british bit is accurate for you
I'm not a tea morning person but I know plenty who love tea, and are cat people too. I also don't see why the graph had to say dog person.

Yes yes, Britain, the only tea-obsessed country in the world

It's just American view where what's true for America must be true for rest of the world.

If an Asian drinks tea, who Asian?

What about the energy drink people?

That probably needs its own chart. Red Bull people, purple Rip It people, and green Monster people each have a different vibe.
I was hoping my Adderall peeps would be represented somehow. But nah.

I was doing monster for a bit before I got the drugs tho. Btw, Both turned out to be too much.
- Was at a new job and someone asked how I got through the mornings without coffee or an energy drink. I accidentally blurted my usual line of “I try to stay healthy and only do water and meth in the morning.”
Gamer?
Yeah, I need my Rockstar in the morning

Yerba mate

night owl in a morning people world
grumpy [S. Cone or Syria] | hipster [elsewhere]
caffeine addict in denial

There's no denial about the caffeine addiction, we want all the caffeine, without the galloping heart and the rollercoaster ride trying to keep the correct caffeine level.
Brazilian 🇧🇷🤷
- By "Southern Cone" I'm including PR/SC/RS/MS. It fits with "grumpy people".
  
  (Although technically MS, half PR and Paraguay would be in a third category - "overheated, needs a chill drink")

Okay but where is the unexpected tattoo?

looks down on myself

WTF, that was unexpected.

Where'the chocky milk?

Black Coffee - I like a good morning poop and I’m calorie conscious.

Also black coffee - I like having an excuse for being mean and diabetus rings in the family.

milk

Sidenote tho black coffee is fucking tasty as shit ok

I like my coffee like I like my soul
We get it, you don’t take prisoners.

White can Monster. Where is?

You're dead before 35.
- dear god I hope so
- I think that means I'm immortal!
You might be trans. Or you have kidney stones, or both. Probably both.
- It's definitely one and/or the other.

I drink water in the AM yet i haven’t sprouted feathers or a tuxedo so I feel slightly ripped off.

Death before decaf sounds about right for me.

Caf before decaf. More coffee for me.
- Yeh I’d never give up caffeine by doing something silly like dying.

What's PSL?

Per a quick duckduckgo, Pumpkin Spice Latte.

How about Yerba Maté?

No thanks, mate.
This is the only caffeinated drink I still regularly drink, I’m pretty sure. One before my martial arts class is just enough of a perk to help me remember what I learn.
Only ever met one person who had YM as part of their morning routine. Recovering alcoholic pilot, doing his best to adjust to a slower life. He wanted nothing more than to go on a weeks-long solo hikes up a mountain. And gardened.

And so that’s what I always picture for Yerba Mate drinkers.
Hell yeah! Straight outta that gourd all night long because TANGO DANCIN’ DOES NOT STOP

Tea people are definitely more cat people than dog people, but otherwise pretty accurate

Lipton english breakfast = dog person

Single estate darjeeling = cat person
- Jasmine tea = fire nation spy

Where's coffee with sugar and milk? I feel invisible 🥺

If it’s a Double Double, then:

Canadian

blue collar

commutes to work

GIVE ME CAFFEINE OR GIVE ME DEATH!

I'm a Black Coffee girlie IRL, but in this the PSL definitely describes me better.

I can fix Astarion. I swear it!
- What is PSL? Sounds like magic mushroom coffee

How can you put five different kinds of coffee on here and not put milk.

addicts man

TIL people are putting butter and coconut oil in their coffee. What even?

Used to drink it when I was on the Keto diet. Honestly really enjoyed it, blended up and all... but it isn't for everyone.
Maybe they need the laxative affects?

I do black but decaf. What would that mean?

That the end is nigh.
Psychotic masochist?
You're on the road to water!

(or an ex smoker)

Espresso gang?

KRONK, PULL THE LEVERRR
I'd say they're the same as black coffee.
- Different beans that need different equipment and preferred by different cultures, I thought espresso could have it's own panel. Especially given some of the other inclusions.
  
  But it's fine to have different views - as a very wise lemming once said: not everything needs to be a debate.
- But more patient.

This is maybe the first time I do not feel include in any of the description and I drink three of these (coffee, tea and water) on a regular base and green juice now and then 😂

Yeah, the descriptions are pretty silly. I just drink black coffee but I’m also just fine in the mornings, though I never used to be. But that’s also because I was a kid and was going to bed at 2am and waking up at 7 for school. Or in college, going to bed at 4 and waking up at 10 for class hungover. It was all my own fault. Now I’m an adult and I have better sleep hygiene, and routinely wake up at 4 or 5 for work.
They used a too-generic label for tea but that covers all bases, while doing a couple very specific types of coffee that leave many bases uncovered.

What about people who like a little cream and sugar in their coffee but don't do lattes? I make mine in a moka pot, add a pump of vanilla syrup and a splash of half & half.

So if you have instant coffee with a dash of milk, to which category you belong?

I'm surprised green tea isn't more popular, especially as a morning drink considering it doesn't cause bad breath or rot your teeth with acids and sugar.

Here I am in the minority with strong chicory with heavy cream. All the bad breath; none of the drugs.

While it's true that I'm not a big fan of mornings happening so early and that I don't take prisoners, the latter is because I'm in favor of restorative justice, not that I kill humans in stead of caging them. Also, I DO drink decad if I want a hot drink and it's too late for caffeine to not keep me awake until 4am 🤷

Diet soda gang rise up!

Drinks nothing

I ride my gravel bike anywhere from 5 to 25 miles before work, depending on how early I get out the door and whether or not my bike is broken. 1. I get around by bike, so the 5 is the bare minimum and 25 is for when I get out the door with two hours to spare and can really get down and dirty with some dirt, and 2. I literally broke my crankset on Thursday while trail riding before work.

Weirdly, off the bike, the latte describes me the best, right down to the unexpected tattoo, but I actually drink water most frequently.

Living the dream, man. Unfortunately, my commute to work is 20 miles on a highway with 70mi/hr speed limit where everyone drives 85. If I leave at the wrong time, then parts of my commute probably average 10mi/hrs :(

I drink Irish Breakfast in the mornings. Coffee gives me jitters, but tea does not.
- It could be better. I'm in the Bay Area, which has some areas that are cool and some areas that are not so cool. And my workplace is in one of the areas that is not cool, by which I mean rich, heavily suburbanized, relatively conservative, and like six miles from the nearest Bart station. And in order to make biking there remotely feasible, I have to live over the hill from Oakland, where nothing cool happens. If I had had the good sense to apply to one of my employer's locations in a place that wasn't a massive fucking pain in the ass to get to, I'd be having a much better time right now.

I drink hot-chocolate-milk. I'm perfect.

Mocha is always my first choice. Sometimes I make it with coffee, milk and a little bit of hot chocolate mix. 10/10 - I used to hate coffee but this is the bomb.

If no mocha, latte ftw lol.

I run 5 miles before work and drink black coffee lol

Best kind of coffee is the one dripping through the machine while taking a shower after the morning run.

Wine in the morning is more mental illness than dramatic lol

Ovaltine

since he was 14?

I feel like my cold brewed espresso with dark chocolate oatmilk says: "mmm".

Just great, now I have to get a tattoo

Death before decaf was a cold brew coffee distributed in the northern new England area like 7 years ago lol. Great name.

Ritalin. Coke or pepsi.

Me sipping my 3rd Green Tea?

First one, Blörö fan.

I guess I'm the butter coffee one cuz i use butter to make doublecream for my joe and am anxious

I drink black coffee and am a morning person

That's circular logic, surely the black coffee helps with being a morning person haha
- That is very much a plausible argument, but I did start out by drinking tea instead of coffee when I was younger because my parents fearmongered me about coffee. Stayed a morning person throughout.

I like mongolian tea in the morning: very strong tea + half cup milk with butter and salt.

Wheres the propain for the rednecks?

Everyone looking for their unexpected tattoo…

looks down WTF