A relationship is not a job or product, you don't get them, you HAVE them WITH other people. People don't have other people, although it is common to say so in colloquial language.
This is important and not petty, because language is like a sign post of beliefs and it is important for starting respectful relationships to believe that everyone involved is a person.
Now, with that knowledge, lemmy can help you, but it can also hurt or not help you.
Deserving love is different from deserving a girlfriend.
Love is something you can spread around to multiple people. It can be anything from fraternal love for a co-worker you've gone through some rough experiences with, to romantic love that bonds you to one specific person.
Everyone deserves love by default, although some people hurt other people and stop deserving love. But, deserving love and deserving the 1:1 commitment of a girlfriend are very different things.
If you're a kind-hearted, hard-working, trustworthy person who was raised with some fucked up beliefs, I'd say you deserve to be loved. Hopefully one of the people who loves you can take you aside and explain to you why your fucked up beliefs mean you can't get a girlfriend. Hopefully that loved one can help you change so that a girl might want to make a commitment to you. But, nobody really "deserves" a girlfriend. They aren't awards that can be handed out once someone completes the required steps.
Brick of text alert! But don't sweat it since I more want to throw it out there and your comment got me thinking.
I'd say it's a wholesome sounding, easy way out, same way we tell people to "just be yourself!" for dating. Probably we can shelve that alongside the tooth fairy, etc.
"Just be yourself!" is easy, makes sense, is watered down for kid's consumption and also does have some good in that we don't want kids trying to change themselves to fit others like I once did but the problem with that snippet is that it isn't really actionable and leaves out the important part of being "the best you!" (even then that's vague)
I was "being myself" many moons ago and it didn't work in dating so I sunk into incel-land where it made sense to blame things I couldn't change like race, area demographics, people who weren't myself, etc. What I didn't realize was that the "myself" that I was just plain sucked. While I was "nice", I was an immature, anxious, awkward, very skinny, emotional wreck who had no idea who I really was. Metrics like height, penis length flaccid/erect, total max squat/bench/deadlift etc. were so much easier to quantify as something to "min/max" rather than "can I have a mature conversation about my feelings with someone?"
A long, rough, self-help-book-fueled journey ensued. Had to learn to love myself enough to not only accept myself but also try to become the "best myself" - and even then that was long road after the self-help books ended.
It looks like someone else took the original person's post and added that after. So the author isn't the one who actually said that.... At least that's how I interpret the green text.
He doesn't just watch anime though, he watches objectively good anime, because he has a good taste in anime, something your average normie viewer just doesn't have.
Did I mention that he has good taste yet? Because he definitely has good taste.
Eh, there's lots of women who like anime and games who would like partners with similar interests. Just usually not a high enough priority over other faults, and it's not like finding decent people who are fine with games anime instead of obsessed is hard.
These posts are such schadenfreude to me as a shorter guy ("manlet") who has never had any problems dating or getting women. The kind of people who make these posts and think courtship is some max/min game don't realize that people can smell this shit on them. Their insecurity, misogyny, entitlement and racism just ooze out of them. It colors everything they do.
Its easier for people to have a tailor tape for measuring rather that a caliper, so I think 13 might be the girth.
13÷π = ~4.13cm diameter (excluding major irregularities)
From what I’ve read in the Incel communities, mostly r/incelswithouthate, before the admins started wiping them out was that they were posting statistics and such about how white men are more generally favored by women than any other race.
these kinds of people are lacking in the personality department
General fatherless behavior. If you don't have a positive male role model in a happy relationship to learn from, you're pretty much never going to be a good partner as a man.
There is so much bad and toxic relationship advice out there, good luck changing.
Hello argument, I am counterpoint. I did not have a positive male role model and it may have set me back a bit but I still found my way to a happy marriage and positive parenthood.
Not even someone from outside your immediate family?
My dad was alright, but traveled a ton. Some of my friends fathers were also positive role models who showed how it could work when they were home all the time.
I think you can give some people great parents and you just might be unlucky enough that they don't turn out to be nice people. It's probably worse now than ever in history because people can have one bad day and then they can follow it up with permanently radicalizing themselves on the Internet.