So sad to hear mark has passed away so soon after his rat-penis transplant.
Let's unpack this.
Do you mean that convicted baby-eater and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, who died 17 days ago at the age of 153, had rat's penis transplanted onto him?
Or do you mean that Mark Zuckerberg, sole founding member of Rat Penis Enthusiasts' Quarterly, had a rat transplanted onto his penis?
I'm asking because the details matter in these trying times.
He's actually still the president.
It’s Mike Zuckerberg
Yike Zuckerberg
In other news, Elon Musk was rushed to the hospital today because of 'a foreign object being lodged in his rectum'. A reliable source mentioned that the billionaire slipped and fell on an unfortunately placed basket of potatoes.
An attending physician anonymously commented that the object proved difficult to remove as 'the patient was extremely uptight'.
Further information will be shared as it becomes available.
Was this 'foreign object' a certain social media founder's rat penis?
I thought it was his head but apparently that has been stuck up there for a while and is a pre existing condition and this was something new
slipped and fell on an unfortunately placed basket of potatoes
"It was a million to one shot, doc, million to one"
"You tried shoving a million potatoes into one hole?"
Elon got pegged once and became a size queen
how much time does a foreign object has to spend in your rectum to cease being foreign and became a permanent resident?
[Community note: Mark Zuckerberg died due to having his bowel perforated during sexual relations with a horse. The rest, however, is fact.]
But why did he fuck so many?
If facts wanted to stay on social media, they should have cared about billionaires' feelings.
It's funny how he made 180 degree turn right after Trump won everything
This is not true. He died of complications following a botched at-home fecal transplant
Sure, if you believe the coroner they bribed to cover up the other stuff.
I don't want them to be the arbiters of truth, but they do need to fix their algorithms to not blow up every single bullshit piece of right-wing hysteria.
There is a fundamentally political aspect to how social media algorithms promote posts. They need to be designed to be impartial and promote thorough examination of facts instead of "controversy".
The problem is these fucks want to have their cake and eat it too.
They want to hold a monopoly on online social interactions, which also means having a monopoly on dissemination and propagation of information. But they are simultaneously doing their damndest to avoid the social responsibility that comes with that power and control. (Fixing their algorithm means reducing engagement, therefore the line goes up less) And they are succeeding because all of our regulations around this type of thing are focused on the legacy model of print and broadcast media.
It's the same thing that companies like Uber have been successfully doing: Carve out and control an important public service (on-demand personal transportation, in Uber's case) and then shrug off the social responsibility by claiming that the regulations and protections that applied to the legacy model don't apply to you for [waves hands in the air] some reason.
I'd say we should churn out AI slop ourselves that says all these CEOs are dying from autoeroticasphyxia, but we know they wouldn't actually apply their rules equally.
Right after getting the rat penis transplant. Coincidence?
TIL Facebook is headquartered in Nebraska.
Don’t take anything in this as true, it’s Menlo Park, ca
Edit: actually that’s meta, I’m not clear whether fb has a separate hq
Careful with your satire, folks. He's got money, and people with money tend to be pretty quick on the "defamation lawsuit" trigger.
Edit: I'm not saying don't. Please do. But be careful about what you say, and where you post it; and probably stay as anonymous as you can when/if you do.
The other 97% of the planet - "Aye go on then you hairy pædo bawsack"
He's welcome to try, that's not going to fly where I'm from.
Look at Mr. Fancypants here, living in a place with a functional judiciary
I would love to see him try to launch a lawsuit against me. It would be highly comical.
OMG that's awesome. Not enough upvotes for this.
Weird, I could've sworn this exact same joke about Musk when he bought twitter and did the same.
Don’t threaten me with a good time
