95% male platform go brrrrrrule
95% male platform go brrrrrrule
Lemmy reacts to a non-sexualized silly outfit pic in a totally normal way…
Previous posts in this series…
- incredible find: https://lemmy.cafe/post/10217719
- epic ratio: https://lemmy.cafe/post/9597634
- lemmy is a worse platform for women than reddit was: https://lemmy.cafe/post/4821164
If people act like that on 196, please report it
goated mod 👑
yas qaz
"Italians do it better" is an intentional double entendre, so I feel moving to a more sexual commentary is not wholly out of the ballpark of reasonableness.
Fuck "Is this your first day on the internet" response, though, and the other two weird comments.
We really 95% male here, though? I thought it was more like 70-30.
im italian id like to know what do i do better?
As an Italian, you have the power to respect people more.
Everyone has this power, but Italians do too!
Nailed it
Nope, rare PugJesus L I’m sorry. It’s an obvious Madonna reference.
Wearing Madonna’s clothes is not a reasonable invitation to body objectification. Really, wearing any clothes should never be considered a sexual invitation without further context or permission.
Nope, rare PugJesus L I’m sorry. It’s not a double entendre, it’s an obvious Madonna reference.
... is it not a double-entendre when she wore it in that video? I've only ever heard it (and adaptations) used in the context of a double-entendre, and the song's lyrics and visuals don't seem to contradict any such interpretation. I mean, it's literally used in the scene where the boy who presumably impregnates the girl of the lyrics/video/Madonna's depiction first catches her eyes in a clear depiction of a sexually charged first meeting/attraction/whatever.
Wearing Madonna’s clothes, especially clothes that reference a pretty serious non-sexual video, is not a reasonable invitation to body objectification.
I mean, commenting on a rando's selfie that's not posted by said rando is so devoid of context that I often have trouble discerning what is and is not appropriate (regarding the behavior of the commenters, not myself - I generally don't have the urge to comment on said photos), so it's more of a general observation, but, absent all that, "Woman wearing a shirt with a sexualized message gets a sexualized joke directly related to the content of that message" does not seem, on a first reading, absurd, other than in general crassness that can be applied to sexualized jokes about people in any circumstance.
If she was uncomfortable with it, it would be unambiguously wrong instead of just lacking in context that would make it appropriate (ie an offense rather than a mistake). But, as I said - unless a rando's selfie is uploaded by said rando, there's no context, so my observation of whether the comment is appropriate is in a vacuum, and may not fit the context of the conversation or atmosphere of the comment thread.
(edited for clarifications)
Those are yucky comments anywhere other than an lemmynsfw community or a community with a suggestive name. I can't glean much context from this screenshot of the post but in general, I believe horniness should be kept to horny online places.
We can and should do much better than that.
based and kindnesspilled
Those are yucky comments anywhere other than an lemmynsfw community or a community with a suggestive name.
Or RoastMe if Lemmy has such community, but basically all such communities require you hold up a sign with your username to prove it is actually yourself (good).
Related to the previous posts bit, but I remember first seeing the Man vs. Bear memes.
I'll admit it was hard not to take it personally at first, because even if you agreed with the core of the message, it feels like you're being lumped in with the worst of menkind for no good reason. That's probably why the reaction was so toxic, because people just replied with their gut reaction, which was to take offence...
But upon giving it a bit of thought, I realised that as a guy who's lived in some dodgy areas, I think I too would oftentimes prefer to take my chances with a bear than alone with a stranger at night - not cause I think I'd beat the bear, but at least you know what the bear's probably gonna do...
And if I feel that way being a man, then considering (on average) women are weaker than men of the same build, I can see why women would feel that way too.
Indian metal band Bloodywood has the best take on the "all men" issue:
Not all men?
Yes all men!
Need all men for what we're solving
Can't be what it's been but we're evolvingThe patriarchy privileges every man, which means every man needs to fight the system. If every man who hears the message and isn't an abuser stands up and does something, we can end the patriarchy. It's not "every man is guilty", it's "every man is responsible, and we can end it together."
And the rest of the song is about punching rapists.
I agree with this and I have absolutely no desire to undermine the problems that women face. However I think it is also important to understand how many men also feel oppressed by the patriarchy as well. Obviously women have been and continue to be oppressed to a far greater and much more literal degree, but so many men feel this immense pressure to "be a man." This frustration at feeling inadequate because of these immense pressures is what makes so many men as dangerous and unpredictable as they are. I really think this is a major part of the issue, we need more men to stand up and realize that they don't have to conform to some shitty societal idea of what masculinity should be, same as how women have been fighting against their own traditional gender roles. Any man who can feel secure in being himself regardless of society's expectations should help the men in his life to understand the same. Maybe then we'd have less insecure, dangerous men running around.
it feels like you are being lumped in with the worst of menkind for no good reason.
Before I realized I was trans I also got super upset at being lumped in with bad men (although with an additional different reason that I didn't understand at the time), and that feeling is absolutely terrible, because you're basically getting shit on just for existing.
From my perspective as a woman it seems like there are a lot of shitty dudes out there. After I realizing I'm trans it became a lot easier to notice misogyny since it now affects me. I did notice before, but when something affects you specifically you notice it a lot more. I also didn't fully understand how weak women are compared to men until I started taking estrogen. Just being near a man I don't know well or at all is very scary because of how easily he could overpower me.
If I am getting a random bear vs a random man I would definitely take the bear just because I feel like the risk of getting a bad man is too high. If I could pick a specific man, I definitely would pick my father or a friend because I know they are good men and I feel safe around them.
I think some outrage could have been avoided if the question was worded just a bit better, although I think part of why it got so popular is because of the outrage it caused.
hell yeah dude. it’s an uncomfortable conclusion to draw, but it’s an uncomfortable reality we live in.
Love getting the wakeup call that just because something is part of the fediverse it is not inherently good or perfekt and still needs work (in regards of the humans that join)
Shit misogynists say
The men ain't sending their best, folks.
They’re sending rapists—and some of us, I assume, are good people
Yes, some of us are nice people who love everyone, however the rest...
[email protected] has a big problem with openly misogynistic users making “jokes” in the comments.
I feel like it depends on the instance, .world is mostly male liberals (who will occasionally act sexist) while Blahaj.zone is mostly Transfem :3
(Btw I wouldnt tolerate any of those comments on c/Trans)
I did not know that. Where are these demographics from? (More male users doesn't really surprise me, that seems to be common in the places I'm interested in)
i seriously think i have to revisit who im attracted to because cis-women sometimes just don't vibe with my lifestyle anymore. I've been online for too long and its changed my personality. I have had relationships with women who would find these comments funny and acceptable, and i would kinda go "eugh" at them and second guess my feelings.
thats what happens when you build a community with a large percentage of shut-in nerds and software devs (speaking as one of the latter)
yeah, i try to think of it as an opportunity. i usually try to focus my efforts on encouraging growth and recognizing the hurt thats caused.
This is essentially why I'd like more "normies" here
(or option 2: maybe I should just avoid online spaces with the (sexist/weird) kind of people I avoid IRL)
Oh shit, I've seen this (yours) post a few hours ago, but just now I noticed that's Lemmy...
I thought that was from Reddit at first.Which instance was this on?
[email protected] which someone else said has a problem with this sort of thing. wasn’t personally aware it was localized.
.world users suck compared to blahaj.zone. With .ml, you get tankies, but with .world, you get more transphobes and lib normies. I spend all my time here, getting shocked by what's normalized when I visit other instances. The people here can be horny, but are much more likely to respect boundaries if told.
i miss [bigotry showcase] it made me feel like i was on the sane part of the internet
Reminds me of the days of circlebroke and srs. It was always nice realizing that I wasn't alone in thinking the comments of a post on my frontpage were rancid.
I'd offer to maintain something similar myself but I know myself well enough that it would slip my mind after a few weeks.
Something something bear
I love all these comments like this woman is asking, cares, or is even interested. "I totally probably would." Okay, but would she??? Why do they think this woman wants to be someone's last call when she could be someone's first choice? If I looked at a picture of a regular guy and my fat ass was like, "Hmm, I mean, if I was drunk, and I had no options, I guess I'd take him home" I'd be dragged, and rightfully so. 😂
the guy who made that comment is in this post right now saying “you don’t know the women or NBs i associate with [or if i make them uncomfortable]”
meanwhile in this post are several women and NBs saying “yeah that made me uncomfortable” 😭 listening to women is hard for misogynistic actors i guess.
fortunately the mods over at [email protected] are doing their job to wack this guy.
What happens when you group all chronically online nerds in one place (twice not going outside and talking to girls)
I'm Terminally online and don't talk to girls. I know that its fucking disrespectful to talk like that.
Has that picture cropped off the S or a comma?
Is it "Italians do it better" or "Italian, do it better'
it’s the full plural “italians” like in the madonna music video
What the fuck?
I'm glad that every time I see a "girls are boring/well-adjusted, boys are quirky" meme format someone has already commented on that, but it always comes with multiple "it's just a meme dude, don't overthink it" responses.
Who is this? They look familiar.
trisha paytas! she was on SNL (for like ten seconds) the other day
Prominent YouTuber and OnlyFans model Trisha Paytas
The only thing I could think of when I saw that was worry about her own self-image... obviously won't comment trash like that unless providing context to further thoughts -
So long as she's happy or in the pursuit of her own personal happiness (even if not and just doing what she can do get through this shitty life,) whatever she looks like is none of my fucking business ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sucks to think of the unnecessary abuse she has to put up with from day to day.
fortunately i don’t think she browses lemmy, and i’ve seen the comments under the original video from where the image was pulled—they are all much kinder.
which is good news for her but the fact there was such a big pattern here is deeply troubling.
I saw this very post just a few moments ago. Holy shit, these guys can't keep it in their pants.
Oh hey, I'm in this screenshot making an off-color comment. We can debate misogyny and such, probably won't be very productive.
The thing I find interesting in this: "Italians Do It Better" is an inherently sexual statement. Everyone knows that IT is sex and maybe some other reference with this style of bumper sticker meme. That's what makes it funny. So then, is it wrong to make a sexual joke about someone who is wearing a funny sexual statement? I don't think so.
If she were wearing a plain tee or some other logo, I wouldn't make a sexual joke. This feels like white knight silliness to me.
The IT is vague and open-ended, not inherently sexual. Its inherently ambiguous and people fill in the blank with whatever is being referenced. We really don't know what IT means to the person wearing it, but you chose to make it sexual.
I assumed IT in this post was referring to murdering CEOs.
This format of tagline has been around since like the 70s. The IT is inherently sexual. Usually something like, "Diamond Cutters Do It Harder."
It's a double entendre and isn't funny without the sexual subtext.
So, unless there was a convention to redifine this joke that I didn't hear about; yeah, it's sexual. Anything else is just trying to contort common social mores to fit an agenda.
If it was a big hairy guy wearing a shirt that said "Bears Do It Better" I would also expect sexual jokes.
i fail to understand how i am very respectable when i try to find a girlfriend yet this misogyny is widely celebrated by some men and some women find it acceptable. is somthing wrong with me?
Women are not a monolith and not all admiration of physical attributes is misogyny.
If you see it as work or effort to not post online about random peoples physical attributes when you see a picture of them, then yea you should look at yourself a bit. It shouldn't feel like you deserve a reward for not being like that.
