What makes a "good vegan", and how can I be one?

Hey, glad you want to be a considerate, conscientious vegan! You won't upset anyone as long as you follow these simple rules:

1. Never admit that you are vegan
2. Never talk about veganism
3. When people are talking about meat, eagerly participate
4. Do not eat visibly vegan food in public
5. If offered meat or cheese, eat it without protest
6. Do not cook vegan food if serving others
7. When you see a cow, remark out loud how you want to eat it

That's about all you need to know to be one of the Good Vegans. Hope this helps!

I was vegan for about 8 years. I just don't bring it up often. I don't tell people I am a vegetarian. It's not a bragging point. It's just one part of who I am. Don't make it your whole identity.

You can’t really be a good vegan to people who hate vegans: the fact that they’re assholes is 100% on them and 0% on you.

Their hate of vegans comes from their own hangups. I imagine it’s one or more of:

1. Their own uncomfortable feelings around eating animal products, which you are reminding them of.
2. They think that vegans think that they’re “better than them,” and they resent vegans for it.
3. Some weird toxic masculinity-adjacent thing.
4. They just hate anything & everything that isn’t normal/consensus, for whatever reason.

Maybe there are other hangups as well; those are what immediately come to mind.

Don’t live your life to please other people. It’ll make you miserable because there will always be those you can’t please. Instead, define for yourself what a “good vegan” is, and do your best to meet that standard. Everybody is different, and only you know what works for you.

Also, be forgiving of yourself. Everybody makes mistakes; no one is born an expert at anything. The fact that we still bite our tongues while eating is proof of that. So give yourself grace when you make a mistake; learn from it, and become better.

Idk but be prepared for people to be extreme assholes to you because they don't like your choice of food. Mfers will see you not order a meat dish at a restaurant and take offense and try to bait you into an argument. Don't fall for it because they'll play dirty

You just do you. I think when people say "bad" they generally mean preachy. That is not most vegans. Just live your life, eat what you want, bring good food to potlucks so that you know you'll have something.

I will add that mentioning it is not preachy, if you get an overreaction it's not you. I am omnivorous and would want someone to tell me before a party or outing so that I don't accidentally invite them to a steakhouse or BBQ joint. I often make vegan food for potlucks just because it's sort of a baseline, most everyone can eat it.

Honestly, just don't be a dick about it.

It's like being a good insert religious group. You live your beliefs, and don't push them on other people. It's really that simple. That's what people hate about vegans.

If someone asks, it's perfectly okay to explain why you follow a religion, so it's fine when the question is about being vegan. It's when there's a conversation about something else, and you insist on shoving your beliefs into it that's there's a problem. Or, when the conversation is such that talking about your beliefs is the goal, insisting that the other people agree with your beliefs.

It's that simple. It's that easy.

I troll vegans. It's easy to do because a lot of them treat it like a religion and are zealots, or are arrogant enough to think that they're better because of what they believe. But, irl away from the anonymity of the internet, it rarely happens, and the vegans I know are fucking great, because they don't shoehorn their beliefs into things, and don't act like jerks about it. It's why I'll gladly cook vegan for them when they're guests.

You know how people bitch about jehovah's witnesses and mormons knocking on their door, or the baptists (or other christian sects) leaving shit on their stoop or shoved into doors? Don't be like that. If you're in a situation where you would not be surprised that someone would be angry/annoyed by someone going on about being wiccan or christian, or hindu, they'll likely be the same about veganism.

Live your beliefs, don't show them off, and anyone that has a problem with you is the asshole, not you.

If you're not dictating what others should eat, then I think there would be no issue. Goodness is in behaviour, right?

I'm in India. In Hinduism, some upper castes have vegetarianism. And also most people would need to have meat or fish to achieve a balanced diet and meet nutritional goals within reasonable costs.
We also have the issue of people suspected of eating cow meat being mob lynched to death in some North Indian states.

So, when I see moralistic stuff being talked about diets, I become wary about associated casteist/classist things behind it.

I've read that the average Western person eats a lot of meat compared to others, so not against the idea of better consumption to reduce wastage, but have seen some online discussions where people are talking about it from two contexts.

Most vegan hate is just reactionary and you should disregard it. It's because vegans force omnivores to confront the reality of where their food comes from, to confront climate science, and to confront your own personal social responsibility. I think it's very silly to be concerned with being a "good vegan". If you don't want to get into arguments then just eat your vegan food and move on. If people take issue with you deciding to eat the food you want to eat, and having boundaries around not wanting to eat certain foods, especially given that these decisions are based on your own moral compass, then they are complete dickheads you should not be around anyway.

I also don't think there's anything morally wrong with being a naggy/pushy vegan. I don't try to convince anyone to go vegan just because I figure if they want to then they will, if there's resistance then I have better ways to spend my time. If they're vegan-curious they're always welcome to ask me about it. I think whether or not you try to make other people go vegan is a personal choice, and a political choice about how to most effectively enact your politics.

I think trying to have a more progressive social circle will help you, because I have honest to god never experienced one of my friends taking issue with me being vegan, and several of my omnivorous friends have confessed to me unprompted that they feel bad about eating animal products and "should" eat more vegan food (I don't ever even talk about veganism except for just mentioning that I'm vegan when we're getting food together). Like I said, if they take issue with the food you choose to eat/food you refuse to eat for moral reasons, they are just plain dickheads and you should stop being friends with them.

Don't be preachy, respect other people's opinions. It's simple.

"What makes a "good vegan", and how can I be one?"

huh... not eating/consuming animal-related products?

If you have any standards for behaviour in yourself then others will attack you for them. It is called do-gooder derrogation.

Eating and using animals is a cruel and selfish thing that almost all of us were raised to believe is necessary and nice. On some level everyone is aware that you can't root for babe and also condem pigs to the gas chamber to die in screaming agony. That is painful, and many people respond to their own pain by lashing out at others.

No matter what you do there will be people who see it as an attack on their values and identity. Just be vegan in whatever way is comfortable to you.

Don't superglue yourself to burger king counters while holding a tablet playing a meat grinder video.

Don't follow random people and film them to ridicule them online for buying McDonald's.

Don't steal homeless people's dogs and put them up for adoption.

Don't block traffic.

Don't shame anyone for eating meat and animal products.

Don't block entrances to restaurants that serve animal products. Don't bang on the windows or shine bright lights into the restaurant either.

Don't act like words like bacon, beef, venison, sausage, pork, etc. are slurs or swear words.

Don't hide the fact that a dish has vegan alternatives, that's not going to make someone realize it's Not As Hard Of A Change!!!!! Those alternatives usually have allergens most wouldn't expect if it were name the regular way. Who expects soy or nuts in a hot chocolate or chicken nugget?

Just exist and don't be a dick. Anyone who has a problem with a vegan just existing is an asshole, don't waste time with them. But if the association with Those Vegans™ still sucks, then just say it's your religious belief. But then again if you have the emotional energy, you should denounce and call out the toxic vegans and help destroy the negative impression.

My buddy went hard when he first went vegan, pushing me to see videos of animal abuse so i would 'understand'. That was annoying, but it was new to him so i didn't make it an issue. His making the change was enough to start me on the road myself, though i don't think he'd understood that (cuz i'd never tell him lol)

accept the fact that, even if it works for you, not everyone would be willing to switch to that lifestyle. And that's ok!

As someone who deals with lactose intolerance.

Just don't make it a big deal, if you can't eat something, don't eat it. Your needs are important, but other people are equally entitled to their own enjoyment.

I hate vegans who only do it to virtue signal, it is a personal journey keep it that way.

If someone is thoughtful enough to ask about your dietary requirements, they are probably "good people" and won't care about it. They will just make allowances for you.

An anecdote about dietary requirements:
I have a sister in law who cannot eat onions/garlic/leeks etc... she does make a big deal about it, no dishes can have those ingredients when she is around.
Her intolerance is about at bad as mine, she gets bloated and gassy... So not dangerous, just uncomfortable.
It always feels difficult to deal with. My view is, if you want to make potatoes with cream sauce, enjoy it I'll eat something else.

My son is vegan and he makes fun of himself - If you vape, you're vegan, and you're in a band; which one do you talk about first? Was funnier a few years ago when people carried around those giant vapes. We harassed him a lot for saying, "i can't eat that" - well, yes you can, but you choose not to- so, now he'll say he prefers to avoid animal products. If people ask, be honest and answer succinctly - I'm trying it to see if it makes me feel better, or whatever. The hate isn't from choosing your own food. It's from the endless conversations and superior, more informed attitude about it - same as anyone who makes one thing their identity - politics, religion, etc.

you're probably going to have better luck asking this in a vegan focused community

The same way you be a "good religious person" - don't fucking proselytize. It's your choice, and that's great, but you don't need to force it onto others.

Honestly I don't care what you want to eat. It's your body, you can shove whatever you like into it.

Where vegans become a problem is where they're being evangelical about their beliefs and trying to force their audience to feel the same shock and horror as they feel when contemplating the meat industry. If all I hear from you is restricted to when I offer you food and ask if you have any dietary requirements, and is of the form "I'm vegan", that's absolutely fine. If we're friends I'll adjust the menu for you, although you might have to accept it's only your plate that gets veganified.

You going "eww" and talking about "rotting corpses" or whatever is where it becomes a problem. If I've asked, obviously I've brought your response upon myself but you should still tone it down for the non-vegans. "I've looked into the meat industry and I didn't like what I saw" would be a good first response; make sure not to release any gory details unless people are really pressing you for that level of detail.

That said, none of this is based on actual experience of offensively evangelical vegans. I've heard they exist but haven't met one yet. I've known some people for quite a while before finding out they're vegan, veggie or whatever.

My sister in law is vegan. She is the most normal person about it I've ever met. She doesn't talk about it unless it comes up in conversation in a normal way.

She doesn't proclaim it, because its part of who she is it isn't the whole of who she is. She also understands that other people's choices are theirs and she doesn't need to convert them, or defend her own position.

When we have family gatherings, we try to accommodate with food offerings, but she says we don't need to and always brings her own food and extra to share. This is important because she's self sufficient and doesn't expect anybody to adjust their life to match her choices. Likewise, between diets and allergies we as a family just always ensure people know what is in what.

These are just simple examples. My point being, I don't think of her as vegan. I think of her as my sister in law. Be a normal person and its all good. If its not, then that's not on you. There are jerk vegans and jerk non-vegans. Don't be a jerk. Don't tolerate jerks in return.

People who hate on vegans are really strange.

Respond to right wing reactionaries who go out of their way to complain about vegans simply with "😇💌Triggered"

There. Now you are the Good Vegan™️

Basically bottle up all the wrong you see in the world because people can’t be bothered to put down their hamburger because it’s soooo delicious. Even though you keep your mouth shut and make incredible vegan food, they still can’t be bothered to change because for some reason people believe animals are beneath them.

Honestly, before I was vegan I never lost my shit whenever I was around my vegan friends so I’ll never understand why people are like this. How hard is it to be like “they have a point” and admit you’re part of the problem?

TL;DR; is don’t be a “good vegan” if you don’t want to, screw the hypocrites.

If people ask why you're vegan, focus on the positives of veganism. I say: the food's delicious, I feel healthier, and I like animals.

It frames it as something you benefit from, rather than depriving yourself of something.

I know a lot o vegans, they are all chill. On their daily life, to be vegan is a a non-issue, for themselves and others.

On social events we generally have some extra options to accommodate them, and that's it.

So, for yourself, you probably need to do some planning ahead to be sure that the place where you are going will have options, or, if the event will be on someone's house, check with the host if they will offer (or if you can bring) something suitable for you.

If you are not trying to force other people to live your lifestyle, guilt-trip them or show yourself as moral superior to others, them you already are a "good vegan".

And, if you want to invite people to be like you, do it by offering/showing tasty animal-free food to your guests as an option.

Don't think you can do any 'better' than your lactose-intolerant cop-out.

This is going to sound Buddhist AF, but the problem is that in most cases, it's not the vegans introducing the conflict, but rather this conflict existing within the people who take offense.
They don't feel steadfast in their morals and often don't feel confident in their identity or self-worth either, so when someone comes along who does something they perceive as morally superior, then this confronts them with their internal conflict, which makes them feel like they're being attacked.

So, the two ways to avoid the conflict, as others already suggested, are:

• Never bring up that you're vegan, or
• Give them a reason why you can do the morally superior thing more easily than them.

That you're lactose-intolerant is perfect. Especially with many people not understanding what that entails precisely, you can say that you can't eat many foods anyways, so might as well go vegan. Or that it's even sometimes easier to just pick the vegan variant, as you'll know no dairy is in there.
This is still not easy to use as a cop-out. You'll regularly encounter people who might take offense, and you've got basically just two sentences or so, to defuse that situation. This is why many vegans stop caring, if someone wants to be offended. It's too tiresome to be a people-pleaser.

Not by asking non vegans. Vegans are the voice for the voiceless and you're taking part in a boycott that challenge peoples core beliefs. To be a good vegan is to push back and disturb social cohesion which people do not like. I'm not a vegan to make friends, I'm vegan to do the right thing.

Yay for you! Nine year vegan here, I remember saying I would never do it either. But now meat and dairy aren't even things I think about, let alone miss.

There is no answer that will please everyone. It's best to treat veganism as a religion, as in an ethical framework that guides your actions. But just like religion, it's not polite to talk about it nor judge others for believing differently. You'll absolutely encounter people who feel comfortable for mocking your beliefs, including friends and family, but the best strategy is to smile and say you'd rather talk about something else. You can't control if others decide to be jerks, but tend your own garden and remember there is no profit in being argumantive back. Eternally change the subject and you'll rarely be accused of being preachy. Unfortunately there are those who take your meat as an inherent judgement of their own, but that is a dilemma they need to fix themselves.

Having said that, I applaud your choice and urge you to get b-12 supplements. A large chunk of the population is deficient anyways and while you adjust there is a good chance you'll miss some of the supplements added to meat products that mostly likely were your primary source.

you don't have to be good, and you don't have to apologize or explain your choices. the vegans who are jerks about it are right. their choices to act in ways which alienate them sometimes are their own. you can do the same or not. thanks for being vegan, either way

I have attempted being ovo lacto vegetarian in the past, flexitarian and pescitarian, but never vegan.

My experience is that your motivation for not eating meat is why people care. If you do it for ethical or environmental reasons and not health ones. Then people will feel that you are thinking that you are superior to them.

Health one is the most accepted reason, because it is not an "attack" on someones values. Yes, it is ridiculous that people feel this way.

However it is more work having guests that have special dietary needs, and vegans and vegetarians are choosing it. People with allergies or religious reasons are not.

My experience is that the easiest way to get the most results with the least friction socially is to be a flexitarian. Eat vegetarian / vegan when you are cooking or buying food, and eat the meat and animal products you are served. That reduces your consumption of animal meat and products by 80-95% without the hassle.

I managed to be a flexitarian for 2-3 years, but gave up. Vegetarian I only managed like a month or two.

Also remember B12!

I've seen a lot of hate towards vegans online, admittedly being someone who partook in that several years ago myself to a small degree.

Then you probably understand that the hate is primarily a coping mechanism because vegans propose arguments that question their lifestyle. It's a "them" problem, not a "you" problem.

If you value consistency, don't let a few jerks push you into a behavior that isn't true to yourself. Don't come up with fake reasons for why you neglect to partake in rituals that don't respect the rights of animals.

State your real reasons. This is also better for the animals. If someone then wants to start a discussion, you can still politely refuse.