9am appointment.
1:30pm appointment. A duck ton of money spent during these two.
Possible admin task in the afternoon.
Emotional support for friend in the evening.
Oof, I hate when I have appointments on the same day but like hours a part. Especially since I don't drive it's like "uhh... how do I fill the time in between?"
Today is looking to be a great day. I am not working. Weather is mostly sunny and 17. It's pay day. New content is released for both my gardening and housing subjects today. And tomorrow is the installation of the split system. No Mondayitis in this household 🙂
Sitting on a bench near a bus stop some guy sits a bit too close to me. Starts asking general questions. Then asks me if I know about Jesus. Told him I know Jesus didn't harass women at bus stops. Asks me what I was reading. It was a book by Albert Schweitzer. He told me to burn it. Told him to stop harassing me and I just got up and walked away.
Many years ago, was on the 64 tram and reading Religion and the Decline of Magic by Keith Thomas. An elderly gent in full hasidic dress opposite me leaned forward and told me I was going to Hell for reading such a book.
It's actually about the counter-reformation and the decline of the witch cult (as imagined at the time).
I'm not sure elderly gent actually knew that - but must have seen the picture on the front with an alchemist's laboratory as imagined by a 17th century artist. Lots of alembics and stuffed crocodiles and mystik diagrams on the floor and nekkid wimmen holding said alembics. All very symbolic. Gave him a death stare but didn't say anything.
So my home town Mordialloc is in the news today following the 30-year sentence handed down to a 73 year-old who murdered two of his neighbours over a trivial garden hose incident 18 months ago. I walk past the scene every day and wondered why there was a TV crew setting up outside this afternoon.
Think I might have heard of this one. The number of Current Affairs episodes on neighbour disputes over fences and how feral people get absolutely blow my mind too. Crazy stuff.
One of the things I hate about diet culture (amongst everything) is how there's medication and people go "oh you can also lose weight!". Like... it feels so gross. I was listening to my news thing with Google and I was listening to CNN and they were talking about Ozempic, and how America advertises medication on TV they played one of their ads and it's like "this is for people with diabetes, but it can also help you lose weight!" and it's like so gross. I feel like people with diabetes is trying to just survive the day and not worry about losing weight.
Similar to when I had my psychiatrist appointment to start taking Ritalin, and my psych is like "it's great for adults because you can lose weight, usually for kids we have to watch them just in case, but for adults it's great." And I'm like sitting there, a fat person, just like... ugh. Felt so gross. Like, I just want to be able to make it through the day and get my tasks done, and not procrastinate, I don't care if it makes me lose weight.
Our society has a very messed up view of weight. You get the same sorts of comments about being sick - someone is really sick and it causes them to use weight and you will have a ton of people piping up with "I could do with some of that" type comments. People with severe illnesses get comments about how great they look because they have lost weight.
The other ones that annoys me is that when talking about food we use "healthy" to mean low calorie, and we call a metabolism that uses lots of energy "efficient" (would you call your car efficient because it uses more fuel?). Yes obesity can be a problem, but thin is not inherently healthy, and losing weight can be a very bad medical sign.
The amount of positive comments I've got from certain people when I've been unintentionally losing weight over the last year from stress and inactivity and loss of appetite is really not cool. Nobody seems to believe me when I say it's not a good sign and I am not healthy
It frustrates me that I can do an hour of workout and eat greens and stuff, but yet people will see me as "unhealthy" yet my mate who can eat like 10 dim sims and 2 large chips from KFC but are still hungry. I love my mate, but it is just... wild, that skinny = healthy and fat = unhealthy. Like yes, of course, being fat isn't always healthy. But you can be healthy at any size and you can be unhealthy at any size. It just makes me so mad and upset that to be considered "healthy" you need to be skinny.
I hate the judgement people lump on us for not being some fucked up influencer / media ideal of beauty and that that pertains to health somehow.
That a psychiatrist passed judgement over your weight when he was treating a neurodivergence (I assume) I find fucking gross too honestly. "Here vunerable person, have my 2 cents worth about your appearance"
For all you people interested in "diet culture" and how society views weight, nutrition, health etc, I very strongly recommend the podcast "Maintenance Phase"
Thank you for that recommendation. I've just been reading some of the transcripts (which I'm happy to see they have, I'd rather read than listen) and it's really interesting.
I LOVE Maintenance Phase. Highly recommend it. I also recommend Fad Camp, similar idea as Maintenance Phase but it's Irish folks. They've covered some similar stuff but there's some interesting stuff in it.
Image of mashed potato, corn on the cob, garlic sauteed spinach, steak with a runny egg on top.
We had a real life Marge the rains are 'ere moment when the juices from my corn travelled across the table and aimed for the man's face. I burst out laughing so hard that some came out of my mouth. Then we all laughed while he wiped his face.
Hate that feeling of finally feeling you can kick back after a shitty day and get ready for a 7am start one hour away tomorrow... Only to realise you're out of cooked rice and now you have to wait. Hangry.
I noticed myself literally eating angrily these days. Usually it's some sort of resentment about not having prepared earlier or the time that it's taken for the food to be ready. I'm reverting back to my infant self on a high chair.
I like older shows like that. They don’t make shows like they used to. Long seasons, interesting stories, positivity, episodes that have proper closure. Most shows today seem to be dark and miserable storylines with writers that are completely incapable to write an actual ending. Rant over.
the episode where Janeway goes full boss arse bitch and is crawling around in Jefferies tubes in a tabk top, singlehandedly saving the ship/crew was always one of my favourites.
In a large frying pan heat the oil and fry onions. Add the spices and fry for a couple of minutes. Add the rice, peas and fish. Cook over a low heat stirring continuously. Serve with the eggs.
Now I've cooked this heaps of times with white rice, microwave rice even potatoes. With canned and fresh fish as well. Don't worry about exact quantities. Add your favourite fish and vegetables. Leave things out if you want. A quick and easy meal and it's delicious.
I love kedgeree. This is always a winner. Could make it even more filling with lentils (closer to the original Indian inspiration, khichdi).
I like cooking the onions then adding the rice to the pot and cooking it with the spices and fish water/oil from the tin, so that it absorbs even more flavour (like a pilaf?), then adding the fish and fresh herbs right at the end. And drained/rinsed tinned brown lentils if I want. It still stays a relatively simple one pot meal.
I chuck in some canned mackerel instead of salmon and use spaghetti instead of linguine. It's so simple you could probably substitute pretty much anything. Chicken would probably go well instead of fish.
Surprisingly tasty for such a simple dish. I guess it's mainly how nice is your olive oil XD. When I do a batch, I cook double size and freeze half, so I've got a lazy meal ready as well.
Day 5 completed. I can see changes now, I'm a lot less portly of girth than before I started. I wish I'd taken a waist measurement before I started this but at least I can see the difference. This morning an unfamiliar sound followed me around the house after I dressed for work. It was the sound of the back of my work pants hems scraping the floor as I walked. I must be losing some booty 🤔
Bonus picture of a polymer clay key tag I made to remind me to take a bottle of water with me when I go out. My kids love this stuff and the Miniest Peeler especially likes making mini replica burgers, subs and mini bacon and egg breakfasts, but I don't usually make anything except beads.
Picture of slightly wonky light blue drip shape made from oven bake clay with H2O on it in red and a hole in the top, held by a work worn hand (I really should do something about that).
Amazing stuff!! So proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too! Amazing when you can see the difference in your body! I hope you are feeling good too!!
I have a blowfly buzzing around my lounge room. I swear there is some sort of secret portal in this house, visible only to flies. Even with everything closed up they seem to find a way in. I have actually removed all the flywire screens in the house, because the flies get inside regardless, and without screens at least some of them find their way out again.
Few hours sleep, few hours thinking
Few hours laying awake and wishing
For dreams to come
But only nightmares came
Some wishes came true
But the past remains
Few hours waking, few hours hating
Few hours left so I'll keep on waiting
For the dreams to come
Everyone else's dinner looks better than mine but I CBF
Casarecchia with bolognaise in a bowl with 2 partly eaten burnt (I like then done to the point of near cremation) sausages on the side.
Forgot to mention I had to buy myself some new workboots tonight because the sole came off the crappy sneakers I've been using as a work shoe. On the way home a car hit our bus. It was just a ding but further delayed me getting home. Got home and Mr Peeler had cleaned the kitchen and lounge a bit (yay!) but I still had to cook (boo!).
They're great family doggos to have. If you are serious, look into the Greyhound Adoption Program, you can rescue rehabilitated racing ones and they are angels who just want to be loved 💜💜💜
They are really great dogs! Good for apartments too. They love a cuddle on the couch more than anything, and they're super low maintenance. We've had our boy for almost 10 years now and it's the best decision we ever made, he's added so much love to our lives 🥰
I am stupid and needy. Too strong, too weak. Never right, always wrong. I cannot keep friends, lost a bunch with my ex, when I broke up with ex, when I changed jobs, when I lost my job. I'm so dumb to ever think I could be anyones mate. I am so so dumb. I'm alone because I am damaged goods, and don't know how to exist anymore. I think I try, but I just make others feel weird and uncomfortable.
Too self-deprecating, too full of self-loathing, with no self-esteem. And here I am making it all about me again. I try to be kind and giving and thoughtful, but I'm just a cunt and they all know it.
I should have been fucking aborted, this life of mine is hell. This brain is broken. This brain is being a stupid cunt on here and everywhere
I hate the space I take up in the universe.
Done.
Edit: apologies. I needed to vent. Seagoon, I would never want to change places with anyone; no one, not even me, deserves what happened to me.
I am not in danger. This potato will live another day, and write more appropriate poetry lol
You know, I was thinking after your last pome that in years past I would have changed places with you in a heartbeat. You have your liebe . That counts for everything.
Hope you're just having a moment there and that the bad thoughts don't hang around for long. You're worthy, you're not dumb, and your ability to write poetry the way you do is an enviable talent.
Thanks for being so raw and vunerable, this takes serious courage and self-awareness. I am sorry for whatever happened and hope you can heal from some of it in time.
I think you are valid and loved. I don't have many friends either. I was either too much or I ditched them due to finally finding the personal strength to establish boundaries and enforce them. I challenge the notion that you're stupid, you seem far too caring and understanding.
For what it's worth I think we would and could be friends in real life.
Just finished Rachet and Clank. And once I said "go back to the main menu" it crashed lmfao. I enjoyed it, but the constant freezing really soured my mood about it. Gonna have to start writing up my review/feature tomorrow or sometime.
Edit: Also got invited to see a movie with work (the place I write about video games for) annoying thing is, is that I'm gonna have to ask my boss if I can leave work early. Might have to ask him if I can make it up by working during lunch that day.
Well after 12 years and a child, I am now no longer in a relationship. It is a weird, sad, haunting feeling but in a weird way kind of relieving that I know what is going on after so much uncertainty. We've agreed to split everything 50/50 and want the best for all of us involved. So that's good.
But I am shit scared of being on my own. I basically went from living with my parents to living with her so I've never been on my own. I'm thinking up all these things and I see horror stories about renting or trying to buy and wondering if I earn enough. I already know I have to sacrifice things which is fine, I could do without them, but it's still a scary future.
Sorry to hear this, Dan. Sucks not to have a backup for the life admin, but this is a skill that can be learned. You may find that the solo life is just right for you and kid once you've learned how to do it. And the peeps here can be relied on to put in their two cents worth if asked.
Shit sorry, sending you good vibes and my love. My Mum and Dad broke up when I was 13, after the same amount of time together (i was an accident lol), but my Dad is doing great! You will too, it'll take time, allow yourself to grieve, but things will feel better in time 💜💜
Sorry to hear. Break up of long term relationship is one of the hardest life events. Good that things are amicable with partner. Life might be hard for a while but if the relationship wasn’t working it will also be a fresh start once the dust settles.
I’m truly sorry Dan. I don’t know how old your child is but be mindful of unloading your anger or sadness about the divorce on them. It can can have long term effects.
Well, this sucks, and Im sorry.
If you're up for it, how about we take a different view on this? If you're up for it. You're absolutely entitled to wallow in misery of course!
spoiler
And end is always sad, but you know whats worse is staying in something when people are unhappy. Sounds like you guys were strong enough to call time, which is awesome cause a lot of people dont. They just stay and live out their lives in misery. And you cant go on to find someone whos gonna make you happy if your still in relationship where things aren't working.
Its gonna be a bit scary. And its at times gonna be tough. But your kiddo is gonna be better off with 2 happy parents.
When you are ready, reframe it as a new beginning. This could be the start of a new you. A new life.
You wont feel like it yet, but one day theres good odds on you looking back at the start of a new period of happiness in your life.
And I hope you get to use this time to explore, find yourself and find what makes you happy.
Thank you. Your words resonate with me so much. It was a long time coming and I've been mentally preparing just those things. Trying to turn it into a positive. Trying to better myself as a person and a parent which is what I need to do.
My planned mental health day became an actual sickness day. Still, a day off is a day off and it’s just what I needed. Resting and knocking a few things off the life admin list.
As someone who grew up driving 4x4s (and still drives them) this is also my take. Also if you are driving a big car, park at the back of the carpark, means the hatchbacks and the sedans don't have to play chicken when reversing out.
Watching British crime TV be like, remember that delightful little character you really enjoyed, yeah, well now the actor who played them is about to play the most vile character to ever grace your screen.
David Tennant. He's a really good actor but he sometimes plays bad people.
My observations about British drama are. Character comes home from a big exhausted day. Puts their bag and keys down on a side table/ table/ benchtop. Goes straight to the overhead cupboard. Selects a glass. Depending on the chosen glass either turns the tap on for water or opens the fridge and pulls out a bottle of red. Cracks the red. Fills the glass. Takes a sip and doesn't finish the rest because something catches their eye or carries the glass to what ever catches their eye.
No one runs in, dumps bag and keys and runs to the toot. No one.
I just finished Ashes To Ashes and Scott & Bailey, so it was always every character leaves work for the pub to get shit faced in the middle of the week only for more drama to ensue. Bonus points if the main character rocks up to work visibly hungover the next day, which is played up by them either mournfully looking into a cup of tea or being dogged on by their work colleagues.
Helpful note for Marketplace sellers: when selling items like shoes it is really helpful to include what size they are.
Preferably in the title, but anywhere in the listing would be better than nothing. Unless it is something like high heels where it is obvious putting whether they are men's or women's sizing would also be good. It's no wonder some people struggle to sell things.
My biggest regret in life, by far, is giving away my original Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy double-vinyl album when we were cleaning out before our move from the UK to Melbourne. I also had the follow up vinyl Restaurant At The End Of The Universe.
Compiling a list of relatively healthy foods that can be consumed "on the go" (ie. doesn't require refrigeration or microwaving). So far I've got fruits, nuts, canned fish, museli bars. Anything else?
Cheese sandwiches. With peanut butter rather than real butter. Also jam and vegemite are not temperature sensitive. I would question the health of muesli bars - how much sugar is in them? Hard boiled eggs (not shelled until just before eating) are pretty good for protein too and will go one day easily without refrigeration. Trail mix (make your own) is a good non-temp sensitive munch to fill gaps. Snap peas are a nice crunch snack when you get bored with carrot sticks. And there is always popcorn.
I like the mini cans of corn. Just drain and eat. Yes I’m weird. You can get healthier versions of things like wholemeal crackers. Granola makes a good snack, but some of the mixes are high in sugar.
Banana bread is a good idea. Hadn't thought of that. Wonder if it keeps ok if I slice up a loaf and freeze it...I think I'll definitely add vitaweats. Wasn't aware there was cheese on shelves too.
Well shit. I just called to make a doctors appointment only to be told that the doc I've seen for the last 13 years has retired. Feels like a relationship break-up in some ways, he knew everything about my ailments and mental health, he was easy to talk to. Now I have to start all over again with a stranger :(
That sucks 😞 I always feel like it wouldn't hurt the practice to notify the dr's patients. Same thing happened to Mr Peeler. It can be hard and daunting finding a Dr you connect with and who gets you.
That's a good read, thanks. I knew a bit about the song itself but it kinda irritates me to hear it everywhere on videos like a smoothie recipe, reno reveal, hair updo, etc!