No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch
No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch
As the Ohio senator sets out on the campaign trail as the GOP’s vice presidential nominee, social media users are making false claims about the contents of “Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis.”
![No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch](https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/9684a46e-1f1b-4486-80f8-828ddbea4068.jpeg?format=webp&thumbnail=256)
No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch
Sounds like something some one who had sex with a couch would say.
86 2 ReplyTechnically it wasn't sex.
16 0 ReplyThat was what he said. To get out of child support payments.
Those poor little footstools are gonna have a hard life when they become chase lounges.
Especially because they’re ugly.
12 0 ReplyOk, raped a couch. I doubt it could consent.
2 0 Reply
Title is misleading. A better title would be, “No JD Vance did not write about having sex with a couch in his memoir.”
For all we know, he may have fucked a plethora of furniture that did not make it into his memoir.
59 0 Reply44 0 Reply...to completion...
34 0 ReplyIt does seem like an oddly specific denial.
12 0 Reply
No, JD Vance did not fuck a couch.
A couch fucked JD Vance. There's not a chance in hell he's the pitcher.
40 0 Reply🤣
3 1 Reply
Headlines from our current era that would totally baffle people just 10/20/30 years ago.
30 0 ReplyNaw. They’ve already come across rule 34.
They’ll just assume we’re freaks, like everyone else
6 0 Reply
A searchable PDF of the memoir includes 10 mentions of the word “couch” or “couches,” ...But at no point in his memoir does Vance write about performing sex acts on a couch
AP: "We're not actually reading that garbage but Ctrl+F find nothing."
An Associated Press reporter reviewed pages 179 to 181 in a physical copy
"Ok,we read 3 pages."
26 0 Reply“AP… did you eat your vegetables?”
“Oh? Oh Really? Well how many did you eat?”
“No. I mean eat. Not just pushed around the plate…”
“That’s it. No more couch fuckin’ til you’ve finished your corn!”
1 0 Reply
Whoever Harris picks for veep, I'd like to see an ad of them saying "I believe JD Vance when he says he never had sex with his couch."
25 0 ReplyI don't think it was even his, he apparently did it in a store...
8 0 Reply
Because it was actually a loveseat.
24 0 ReplyTrue is it was a futon... But since futons can "transform" JD could never admit to sleeping with something "trans"
13 0 ReplyYou win the internet today 1000%.
4 0 Reply
This is so fucking funny.
When the main discourse around your new running mate is whether or not he fucked a couch, you did not pick a strong candidate. Trumps gotta be pissed.
23 0 ReplyPeople are saying he did have sex with a couch.
17 0 ReplyWhen you have to explain it...
13 0 ReplyNarrator voice: "He did."
12 0 ReplyAre you sure? Lots of people are saying he did. Lots.
11 0 ReplyI think you have to write "JD Vance did not have sex with a couch once" or else it's potentially libel.
11 0 ReplyHey, we're just asking questions.
9 0 ReplyMy wife told me that story and I instantly went "That sounds fake, why would he admit that in a book?"
9 0 ReplyIt wouldn’t have been the weirdest confession in a book.
3 0 Reply
I heard it was non consensual.
check the cushions for eye liner.
8 0 ReplyIs that a codeword for Peter Thiel?
8 0 ReplyA lot of people are saying he did in fact have sex with a couch
7 0 ReplyI believe the preferred nomenclature is couch botherer
7 0 ReplyCouch roommate.
5 0 ReplyStep-couch what are you doing?
7 0 Reply
I mean can anyone prove he didn't or hasn't?
7 0 ReplyThis story did not go through our standard editing process and has been removed.
It seems AP are cowards. They've removed the article.
7 0 ReplyThey probably received a damning statement from the couch.
4 0 ReplyNo it's funnier - they factually don't know if he did or not. They can, however, factually claim that he didn't write it in his book.
3 0 ReplyDevon Nunez cow had to get involved.
2 0 Reply
He's a couchfucker
6 0 ReplyEh, whether he wrote about it in his book or not he totally has the look of a couch humper. I would also guess he likes to pee in the bathtub. I mean just look at him.
6 0 ReplyEveryone keeps saying JD fucked the couch but I know the true story... JD got raw dogged by the couch. Let's just say, calling him a tight ass is no longer literal.
6 2 ReplyNot within the last five years, anyway.
3 0 ReplyMaybe not, but it's out there apparently and the Internet is fueled by <60 second attention spans.
3 0 ReplyBro he made the cushion look like the left side of that flag.
1 0 ReplyReminds me that Zelensky's initial cause of popularity (the one that got him in the show casting him as the president of Ukraine) was from a 'Ukraine's got talent' like show where he played the piano with his penis.
2 1 Reply