"Ay, you ever heard of Lemmy? Lemmy get your number?"
70 0 ReplyI would use this, if I met people IRL that have heard of Lemmy.
2 0 Reply
Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven? Because you look pretty fucked up.
31 2 ReplyA guy on Tinder sent my friend a Patrick meme that said "Is mayonnaise an ice breaker?" I, a big Spongebob nerd, told her to pick that guy. They're married now.
28 0 ReplyAre you a beaver? 'Cos DAM
28 1 Reply(shoutout to the absolutely fantastic Sophie Corrigan who creates a lot of really beautiful art for bad pun lines like this one)
24 0 Reply
The longest relationship I ever had started this way: we were at a mutual friend's house with a bunch of our friends. I introduced myself, then sat across the room from them, in a big comfortable chair, and I fell asleep while looking at them. For some reason they thought this was charming.
24 1 Reply???????????? lmao
9 0 Reply"I could pick up girls even in my sleep"
5 0 ReplyThat's cute as fuck.
3 0 Reply
Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?
21 2 Reply“I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies.”
“If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?”
18 0 ReplyNow those are pickup lines with some chest hair!
2 0 ReplyNow, remember the quickest way to a girl's bed is through her parents.
Have sex with them and you're in.
1 0 Reply
Im happy single so one of y’all can have this one.
Are you a cigarette? Cause I wanna get you lit and put your butt in my mouth.
Savage one. If you see two girls in a club, go over and ask the one you are NOT interested in if they’d like to dance. When they say yes, say go on then I’ll keep your friend company.
19 1 Replyand whats the plan when they say no
6 0 ReplyCan you get hold of zip ties and how is your stomach for blood?
2 1 Reply
"I'm here to apply for the position of your Next Bad Decision. My parents always said I was a mistake, so I think that makes me well qualified."
That's literally how I got my wife.
14 0 ReplySo….. you’re a girl.
14 3 ReplyI heard one in Spanish that I liked.
"¡Si cocinas como camina me como hasta las raspitas!"
If you cook the way you walk, I'll eat even the scrapings from the pan.
10 0 ReplyY’ever seen someone solve a Rubik’s cube in just 5 seconds?
Yeah, me neither.
9 0 ReplyAre you a plates in a drawer or plates in a cupboard kind of person?
I'm sure it'll work one of these days.
7 0 ReplyPeople put plates in drawers? I don't think I've seen anyone do that ever
11 1 ReplyDrawer gang
6 0 Replycupboard, why?
6 1 ReplyNo reason, it just says a lot about you as a person.
1 0 Reply
"What do you know about bionicles lore?"
7 0 ReplyOh my
4 0 Reply
[silently hands over 3d puzzle]
8 1 Reply👉👌
6 1 Reply
Pull my finger.
7 0 ReplyOh fuck, I dropped this entire pack of cards on the ground. Can you help me?
8 3 ReplyHi! So what do you think of assimilation?
6 1 ReplyI don't know if it's a pick up line, but when I get a girls number I immediately send her a picture of a rooster and ask if she likes unsolicited cock pics.
5 0 ReplyI used to do that with Dick pics. Dick van Dyke, Dick Nixon, Andy Dick, Philip K. Dick ...
5 0 Reply
Hey are you trying to blind me? Cause dang your clothes are stunning
4 0 Reply[rolls D20 in front of her or on video. Nat 1.] Okay here goes nothing - [following my worst pickup line]
5 1 Reply"you're pretty"
4 0 ReplyMe literally picking up a huge box with a fella: "don't you let go"
4 1 ReplyI'd be interested to know that myself as I've usually been so out of it quite what happened is unclear.
4 2 ReplyLift and bonk later?
2 0 ReplyI envy your heart because it's pumping inside you
1 0 ReplyMessi 좋아요 ?
1 1 ReplyDo you believe people with penises think with their dicks?
2 7 Reply