Tradwife influencers seem like people who don’t understand how having a kink works and mistakenly craft their identity around an aspect of a kink that is toxic when applied outside the bubble of consent and play with a trusted partner.
And at the same time, are loudly proclaiming that trans people are doing exactly that. It's truly stunning how good at prediction, "It's always projection" is, as a heuristic.
Yeah exactly because those losers think being trans is inherently toxic in the way basing your personality around perpetuating sexist narratives about women is.
I don't think its pushing it too far if that is what you are saying, I think their problem is a fundamental one of not understanding the difference between respecting yourself/others and getting off.
If you understand when you are getting yourself off (and that might be a really non-sexual thing, I am using this broadly) you have the agency to get yourself off without hurting yourself or others and more importantly to actually focus on getting yourself off in a way that is best for you.
If you understand when you are participating in an internalized stereotype about yourself, you have the agency to step back and consider whether there might be a different arrangement of those desires and fears that was much healthier for you and everyone around you that still satisfied whatever is animating that stereotype within you.
Or to put it another way, trad-wife people don't understand the basic reason that community theater can be so rewarding, acting as a character can be a powerful way of experiencing reality and deepens the experience of the human condition but actors are adults about it and realize the difference between playing a character on stage and being an asshole in real life (most of the time they do, damn actors can be full of themselves sometimes though hahaha).
There's this local brew-pub restaurant, the kind of place that had its own brand of craft beer and a trendy local restaurant connected to the brewery. The sort of business that skyrocketed in popularity in the 2010s. Started in 2014, was doing great business, really popular night scene, etc. No dollar signs on the menus, if you know what I mean.
They recently just announced they're going out of business and closing down everything. I was sad and upset about it...until I read the interview the owner did where he explained why they had to close, and snuck in there between "I took loans out I can't pay back because interest rates went up", "business not recovering post-COVID", and "supply costs going up", he added "wage inflation".
I've never done a 180 on a small business owner faster.
I dated someone who made more than me for a while. When she found out she was like "does that upset you?" I said no, I'm glad I don't have to worry about your finances.
I don't want to have to worry about if my partners are going to be financially okay. I don't want them to "depend" on me. Them choosing to be with me is much better.
Not only that this is not true, men also do not give a shit. My wife is doing derm and she is going to out-earn me straight out of residency. I could not care less because I'm not an idiot. More money = better life.
I sort of understand the reasoning behind the tradwife stay at home bullshit but why wouldn't you want your working wife to bring more money for the both of you ?
Oh... It's also about control and exploitation, isn't it ?
I was once at a party a few years ago and, at the time, I think at the time my wife was making around 10k more than me. Some of the people there were her coworkers and their friends, all women. And they knew about me making less because we are always open about our wages.
One of the friends of her coworkers grilled me for like an hour on how I felt about that and all of them pretty much refused to believe me that I was happy with my wife making more money than me. They were mostly just not believing that I wasn't resentful at all, because they had all made more money than their SOs at one point or another and it had always led to fights apparently. I, of course, told them I would love to make more money at my job but it wasn't anything to do with my wife's career or compensation. I also told them she (and all of them) should make more money too.
Shit, I wish my wife made double or triple what I make. She enjoys her job so if she made a lot more doing it, it would be a win-win. My job, I can take or leave, so all I really care about is the pay/benefits. And at the end of the day, our paychecks go into the same accounts (excepting our retirements are separate), so her making more money is just us making more money.
Yeah I'm currently on paternity leave while my wife continues to work and it's glorious. If my wife made double my salary I would quit immediately as long as it's OK with her and I would have a great time with my daughter and the cats.
I think the only reason you would be mad is if you 1. derived your self worth from how important your job was and 2. you ranked the importance of your job based on its salary. Otherwise it didn't make sense.